BS: Graffiti Anyone?

Subject: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Fiolar
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 09:07 AM

'Catters may remember some years ago about a well known brand of vodka that had an advertising campaign with the words - "I thought ..... was ..... until I tasted ..... Vodka." I recall a classic graffiti on the walls of one pub's gents which went as follows: "I thought Wan King was a city in China, until I tasted ...... Vodka." Another classic (cleaned up a bit) was "It's no good standing on the seat; The Crabs in here can jump six feet." "Crabs" by the way in this context does not mean the shellfish variety but the slang name for "lice."

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Bill D
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 10:35 AM

"I thought Wan King was a city in China,"

*grin*..a lot of American will say "huh?" to that, just as they don't understand the cultural place of "loo" and "knickers" etc....

I DO remember a graffiti from the Methodist Student Union at the U. of Kansas that asked: "Can a metaphysican be sued for malpractice?"

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Dead Horse
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 02:18 PM

My favourite, allegedly written on a ladies toilet door:-
My mother made me a lesbian.

Written underneath & in a different hand:-
If I send her the wool, will she make me one, too.......

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: curmudgeon
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 02:22 PM

I've heard that one as "homosexual," supposedly from NY.

One I did personally encounter at the Lion's Head in Greenwich Village, "If Cunard Lines merged with Aer Lingus, it would be called ..."

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: mack/misophist
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 03:25 PM

The first bit of graffiti I ever laughed at was on the men's room wall at a san francisco retail store. "Krishna Saves".

There's also a local artist who's done a series of 'signs' that, although not graffiti, are worth mentioning. His standard format is the black and white highway information sign, done huge. Three stories high, pointing up 'SKY'; 75 feet across, pointing at a large tree 'ONE TREE'. It's better in person.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 04:13 PM

At university above the toilet roll dispenser
"Sociology degrees, please take one"

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 04:14 PM

TOX03

Don't ask me but it seems to amuse somebody who travels the Metropolitan Line.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST,pdc
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 04:15 PM

The first graffiti I ever saw, in NYC in the 1960s, is still one of the best: Support Mental Health or I'll Kill You.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: jeffp
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 04:27 PM

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 05:11 PM

How about

"The meek don't want it"

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 05:34 PM

Above the urinal:

"What are you looking here for? The joke is in your hand."

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 06:35 PM

http://www.angelfire.com/md2/customviolins/bushagenda.jpg

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 08:01 PM

The content wasn't important although it was quite good, but the greatest piece of bathroom literature I ever saw was in the Men's first floor restroom, stall adjoining the wall, of Draper Building at Berea College in 1967.

Imagine if you will..............

The wall is multi-shades of green ceramic tiles measuring about 1 inch by 2 inches. The grout gap measures maybe an eighth of an inch and the wall is about 6 foot long (in the stall) and goes to the ceiling, about 12 feet. Graffiti covers all of the GROUT, every tiny bit of it....none on the tiles..... and extends the height and width of the wall. The lettering is incredibly neat and completely legible...a beautiful job! It was a true work of art and I wondered who the hell had done it and what an incredible amount of time it took to do! I mean what the hell, this was college and there was an incredible amount of time to waste.....

It remained there all the time I was there as if even the janitors and administration people found it to be a work of art as well.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: curmudgeon
Date: 28 Oct 03 - 08:47 PM

But what did it say?

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: LadyJean
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 12:00 AM

The Professor Shit List occupies three whole walls of the laundryroom at Hoover House at Ohio University. Most of those on the list have since retired but they've gained a sort of immortality on the laundryroom walls.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Cluin
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 12:03 AM

"No matter how hot she is, there's a guy somewhere who's sick of putting up with her crap."

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 01:29 AM

"Jesus Saves - The Devil Invests"

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 03:21 AM

I see graffiti all I can think of is this....


Graffiti Limbo
Written by Michelle Shocked
Lay down your burdens
Lay down your cares
The Holy Virgin, she's gonna greet you up there
With a big can of spray paint, yeah
And a big blank wall
And I can guaran-damn-tee you
There ain't no cops around at all

Graffiti Limbo
Where do you go?
Graffiti Limbo
When there ain't no justice

I only speak for myself
But the word around town
Is that something's shaking, yeah
In the underground
I only speak for myself
But the word on the street
Is that the writing's on the wall, yeah
And the cop's on the beat

Graffiti Limbo
Where do you go?
Graffiti Limbo
When there ain't no justice

Peace, Rustic

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: JennyO
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 09:42 AM

In big writing on a wall -

"Jesus Saves"

and underneath, in smaller writing -

"...at the Commonwealth Bank"



"I hate graffiti - in fact I hate all Italians!"

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Clean Supper
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 10:54 AM

On one particualar anniversary of an event in the life of Che Guavara, the young socialists in Sydney had a spate of painting "Che Lives" on walls everywhere. A fruiterer got some paint and changed the one by his shop to read "Cheap Olives".

On a toilet wall in a pub in Redfern, one that made me laugh for no very good reason was
Fuck
Shit
Bum
Piss
Wank

On the toilet wall in the loo by the physics building at Sudney Uni
Work=Fd
F=ma
Therefore work is mad

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Bardford
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 11:21 AM

Signs on a boarded-up construction site in London read: "Bill posters will be prosecuted"

Underneath, in felt pen: "Bill Posters is Innocent"

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST,petr
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 04:08 PM

Jesus saves,
the mongol hordes.

Gretzky shoots..
Jesus saves..

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 06:04 PM

Seen in a latrine in the Army:

Flush twice, it's a long way to the messhall.


Written on the ceiling over a urinal in college:

Congratulations! You are now pissing down your leg!

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Bill D
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 06:49 PM

in a men's room, right after the walls were re-painted to cover the graffiti..."tabula not-so-rasa"

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: LadyJean
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 12:21 AM

As a very naive teenager I went to Highland Dancing camp at Lees Macrae College, in Banner Elk North Carolina. We used a boys dorm. It took me the longest time to figure out what those toilet things on the bathroom wall were, and I was in college before I understood what "This is a teepee of shit and peepee, not a wigwam to beat your tom tom meat on." meant. Someone had written it on the wall of one of the stalls. I am afflicted with a better than usual memory, especially for things that rhyme.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 12:54 AM

I am really enjoying reading these!

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 01:26 AM

There was an Australian Play - the ABC did a Radio version of it and I was involved with a group doing it at one stage - called "Bill Stickers will be prosecuted"

Ok these two aren;t specifically grafitti, were clever anyway...

There was a Scuba Diving shop in Toowoong called "Come Diving"...

and a hamburger shop near the Enoggers Army base called
"The Taik Hawaii" (say it out loud with an Aussie nasal whine)...

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 04:23 AM

In Oakengates, England, in the early 60s ...

Graffitist #1:
I leap with glee, I jump for joy,
I was here before Kilroy!
Graffitist #2:
Sorry to spoil your little joke,
I was here, but my pencil broke.
Kilroy
Graffitist #3:
While you are reading this you are piddling on your shoes

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: C-flat
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 04:37 AM

From the brilliant book "Graffiti II" by Nigel Rees, 1980 Unwin Paperbacks, London.

In the beginning was the word. And the word was Aardvark.

I couldn't care less about apathy.

If you see an unattended bag --- go up and talk to her.

I bet you I could stop gambling.

Men call us birds. Is that why we pick up worms?

Bisexual man, aged 30, seeks married couple.

Someday my boat will come in - and with my luck I'll be at the airport.

Blessed Mary, we believe that without sin thou did conceive.
Holy Virgin, thus believing, may we sin without conceiving?

Bo Peep did it for the insurance.


"British Rail advise that the thus right of way is not dedicated to the public."
--- neither is British Rail

Come the revolution, British rail will be the first to go --- if they arrive on time.

Jesus shaves. (on Gillette ad)

Chelsea are magic. Watch them disappear from the First Division.

Constipation is the thief of time. Diarrhoea waits for no man.

Save fuel. Get cremated with a friend.

Nationalise crime and make sure it doesn't pay.

George Davis is innos (scratched out) innoss (again scratched out) guilty.

Keep death off the roads. Drive on the pavement.

Death is hereditary.

Graffiti should be obscene and not heard.

Easter is cancelled this year. They've found the body.

So is Christmas. They've found the father.

Avoid the end-of-year rush --- fail your exams now.

I have nothing no declare but my genes.

If you feel strongly about graffiti, sign a partition.

God made animals, great and small.
Some that slither and some that crawl.
The Rochester police employ them all.

The hangman let us down.

Let's keep incest in the family.

"Due to industrial action this toilet will be closed all day on Monday."
--- please do all you can today.

My inferiority complexes aren't as good as yours.

How Labour will cope. (notice on election poster)
--- Next week: how to nail jelly to the ceiling.

I wanted to be a judge but they found out that my parents were married. (found in a jail cell)

Definition of a lecture: a means of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the student without passing through the minds of either. (found at Warwick University)

"80% of Bishops take The Times."
--- The other 20% buy it.

He may have hairs on his chest but, sister, so has Lassie.

Richard the Lionheart is alive and well and asking Christian Barnard for his money back.

Life is a sexually transmitted disease.

"The first three minutes of life are the most dangerous." (notice in hospital)
--- The last three minutes can be pretty dodgy too.

"Do not use lift in case of fire."
--- just jump.

"Warning: passengers are requested not to cross the lines." (at railway station)
--- it takes hours to untangle them afterwards.

Lions 7, Christians 0.

Until I discovered women, I thought love was a pain up the arse.

"Make love not war."
--- I'm married. I do both.

Lord Lucan was here.
--- No, I wasn't.

Designed by computer.
Silenced by laser.
Built by robot. (Fiat ad)
--- Driven by moron.

Monkey is the route to all people.

Free Collective Bargaining -- he's innocent.

Mickey Mouse is a rat.

I've half a mind to join the National Front. That's all I'll need.

God is not dead. Merely out to lunch.

"Nothing acts faster than anadin."
--- then take nothing instead

Oral sex is a matter of taste.

Where is Lee Harvey Oswald now that his country needs him? (during Watergate)

Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the perfomance. (in gents' loo)

"A phone call. It costs less than you think."
--- Pretty soon it will cost more than you believe.

How do you tell the sex of a chromosome? By taking down its genes.

The only safe fast breeder is a rabbit. Say No to nuclear power.

Reincarnation is making a comeback.
-- over my dead body.

"In 1066, near this church, the Normans landed and were repelled by the men of Romney." (on notice, Romney parish church)
--- So am I

"There's a shortage of girls at Oxford."
--- I don't care how short they are, there just aren't enough of them.

It begins when you sink into his arms and ends with your arms in his sink.

Smile, they said, life could be worse. So I did, and it was.

"Found: one pair of glasses."
--- please write larger, I've lost my glasses.

"The Rev Charles Spurgeon departed for heaven at 6.30 am today."
--- 10.45 am. Not yet arrived. Getting anxious. Peter.

Don't flatter yourself. Stand closer. (in gents' toilet)

Ignore this sign.

"Please don't write on walls."
--- You want maybe we should type?

"Margaret Thatcher should be P.M."
--- Yes, Permanently Muzzled.

Never mind the Titanic, is there any news of the iceberg?

Owing to lack of interest, tomorrow has been cancelled.

Racism is a pigment of the imagination.

May all your ups and downs be in bed.

Yea, though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I am the biggest son-of-a-bitch in the valley.

But for venetian blinds it would be curtains for all of us.

Schrodinger rules the waves.

"Free Women."
--- where?

Can we have a new wall? (at foot of graffiti-strewn wall)

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: HuwG
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 05:19 AM

University College, Cardiff, late 1970's. To the sign in the gents' toilet which read, "Please do not drop cigarettes into the urinals", wags appended, "It makes them soggy and difficult to light again"

On condom machines in various pub toilets:

"This chewing gum tastes awful"
"Buy me and stop one"
"Not to be consumed on the premises"
"Retreaded for extra grip in the wet" Ahem... Sorry about that one, ladies
"This machine is NOT the one for drying your hands"


And my favourite from Mr. Rees:

"To be is to do - Descartes"
"To do is to be - Sartre"
"Do be do be do - Sinatra"

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 07:23 AM

Something I saw painted on a boulder in 1976 & have never forgotten & still puzzle over

JOE 14
PAY UP

One night around the same time we were sitting in our favourite pub watching a Phillipino writing on the wall of the Phillipine Consulate across the street. He was using a tin of white paint & a brush & very carefully wiping the brush on the tin as he neatly painted MARCOS IS on the wall.

2 punks approached & spoke to him. He handed the brush to them & they scrawled some obscenity across the wall, without wiping the brush so the paint ran. When they handed back the brush he carefully completed his message and all the world could read MARCOS IS A BAD MAN.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 08:10 AM

Avorgado has EVERYONE'S number.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: The Barden of England
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 11:06 AM

'Jesus is coming - - - Look busy!'

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 05:01 PM

"Peanut Butter & jelly sandwiches are insoluble in gasoline"

same Methodist Student Union at U. of Kansas.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: katlaughing
Date: 31 Oct 03 - 04:22 PM

Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that's where you get shitty ideas from.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Cllr
Date: 31 Oct 03 - 07:07 PM

Someone wrote on a lavatory wall "I'm 8 inches long and three inches wide" to which someone added "I'm interested. How big is your dick?"

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 01 Nov 03 - 03:39 PM

About twenty years ago I went into a Kent pub, where the landlord had painted every surface in the loo with anti graffiti paint. In one corner of the window frame, carved into the surface, was the comment "Killjoy was here".

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Hrothgar
Date: 01 Nov 03 - 11:02 PM

Back in the 1970s, when Frank Sinatra was making his "Blue Eyes Is Back" tour of Australia, he ran into trouble with the unions, and had a black ban placed on him which, until it was lifted, precluded just about anything he wanted to do, including leave Australia.

Some punster/graffitist wrote on a wall at Strathfield railway station:

OLD BLUE EYES GOT BLACKED.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Peace
Date: 02 Nov 03 - 01:01 AM

I like grils. Someone came along, scratched out grils and wrote girls. A third party came along and wrote "But what about us grils?"

The worst I've encountered has to be the following:    Lifes short dont waist it    Four errors of punctuation and a spelling mistake in a five-word piece of writing.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: GUEST,Crystal
Date: 02 Nov 03 - 09:14 AM

There was a singularly beutiful piece of grafitti which I saw on a wall surrounding a singularly horrible piece of waste ground. No words, just pictures (flowers, sunshine people etc) All in beutiful colours, I wasn't sure if it was a mural or just grafitti but the council painted over it the next week so I suspect the latter.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 02 Nov 03 - 10:53 AM

I remember the Star Trek graffiti from the seventies like ' Stardate August 1978 - Beamed down for a slash but couldnt shake off the Klingons'

And an adition the the My Mother Made Me graffito :- If she knits purl and plain can I have Pearl??

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 02 Nov 03 - 09:59 PM

Crystal,
it has now been recognised that having a wall sych as that painted to look nice by the local community often tends to slow down the rate at which it is covered with graffitti - but once it starts, if not removed, then its use as a place fo graffitti gradually becomes "accepted"

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Helen
Date: 03 Nov 03 - 06:30 AM

Oedipus, ring* your Mum.

      Over my dead body,
                (signed) Dad

* And in case you don't get the joke: in Oz the word "ring" can mean "have sex with", although the term is a bit outdated now.

Helen

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Mooh
Date: 03 Nov 03 - 07:03 AM

"The girls don't mind that I only have three inches. They seem to like it that wide." In a Windsor union hall.

"Eat shit, get napkin here." Above the toilet paper in a high school loo.

Mooh.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: wilbyhillbilly
Date: 03 Nov 03 - 11:56 AM

From THE GRAFFITI FILE by Nigel Rees 1981 (George Allen and Unwin Publishers)



Be Alert- Your Country needs LERTS

Buy Blitish. (On the wall of a Datsun Distributor, UK)

Drink wet cement and get really stoned

Sexual intercourse after death
Is this what is meant by getting laid in your grave?

Dyslexia lures. KO

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Jesus Saves.
Save yourself, Jesus is tired.

Texans are living proof that Indians screwed buffaloes.

Help the Police. Beat yourself up.

Kindly refrain from writing on my rocks. Thank you. Signed GOD.
(in six feet high letters on granite rocks by remote desert road
in Western Australia)

Little Red Riding Hood is a Russian contraceptive.


These are just a few of hundreds in this book.

Wilby

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Bardford
Date: 03 Nov 03 - 03:28 PM

Next to a crudely spraypainted pentagram on an inside wall of an abandoned house: "SATIN LIVES"

This one is my all time favourite: on the men's room wall at the tourist centre in a Vancouver Island town (Chemainous?) where environmentalism and logging are obviously maintaining a delicate balance: " Tree huger should die."

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: ard mhacha
Date: 04 Nov 03 - 03:34 AM

Keep them coming, this wall is in to it`s second edition. Ard Mhacha.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: ard mhacha
Date: 04 Nov 03 - 03:38 AM

On a few Toilet walls, Happy New Year to all our new readers. Ard Mhacha.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: cyder_drinker
Date: 04 Nov 03 - 01:54 PM

On the cardboard tube inside the toilet roll, under the last sheet:

"Now you're bolloxed"

Subject: RE: BS: Graffiti Anyone?
From: Joe_F
Date: 04 Nov 03 - 07:12 PM

Perhaps most conducive to contemplation appropriate to the locale:

"Assholes have their uses."