BS: English, California's official language

Subject: BS: English, California's official language
From: Dave Masterson
Date: 11 Nov 03 - 08:35 AM

The New California Governor has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the state, rather than German which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, The Terminator's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Austro-English" (or, if nobody will be offended, "Austrionics")..
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k".
This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Subject: RE: BS: English, California's official language
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Nov 03 - 11:19 AM

VERY old piece...someone has just pasted the Arnold/California bit to the front of it...not even funny as a purported idea of Arnold.

sorry...just calls 'em as I sees 'em...

Subject: RE: BS: English, California's official language
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 03 - 11:45 AM

YAs, yas , yas --- been in circulation on the net since 1995 to my knowledge, omitting the topical link toSchwarznegger.

A

Subject: RE: BS: English, California's official language
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Nov 03 - 12:17 PM

Iz it akzeptabl dat doz of us hu hav not zen it befor laf? Or vil ve be zint tu a kamp for zyberiliteratz?

Brus

Subject: RE: BS: English, California's official language
From: Wolfgang
Date: 11 Nov 03 - 01:42 PM

Yes, even those who have laughed before may laugh a second time.

But it must be one of the shortest intervals in Mudcat history between two tellings of the same joke. Yesterday it was told in another thread. The last time before that was in September.

The one who has introduced the Arnold angle in that joke was not very careful. He should have eliminated the last sentence on the united Europe and replaced it by something else. That sentence makes not much sense in the California context though it did in the context of a critique of the EU and a perceived German dominance.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: English, California's official language
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Nov 03 - 02:11 PM

"Iz it akzeptabl dat doz of us hu hav not zen it befor laf?"

oh, sure...but 'perhaps' we will slow down, ever so slightly, the copy/paste proliferation by noting that it is NOT a new thing.

Subject: RE: BS: English, California's official language
From: GUEST,Dutch Gal
Date: 11 Nov 03 - 03:14 PM

Hahahaha...... sehr witzig. (nicht!)

Subject: RE: BS: English, California's official language
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Nov 03 - 11:00 PM

This Google Search will give an idea how often this piece has been posted on the Internet - and then it was posted twice today at Mudcat.
How clever.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: English, California's official language
From: LadyJean
Date: 12 Nov 03 - 12:42 AM

Meine grossmutter und grossvater war von Cinncinatti. In 1900, alles in Cincinnati mus Deutche gelernen. My grandparents were most emphatically NOT German, but they learned the language. I wonder what Arnold the Barbarian would say about that kind of bilingual education.
My appologies to all German speakers. I can't spell in English either.