BS: Enduring the Holidays.

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 12:25 PM

Very fun photos, LTS!

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: Gareth
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:56 AM

And to avoid relatives, neices, nephews, thier dogs catsa etc. I had planned to lock myself away in my study claiming urgent college/internet work !

And then the 'Cat went down ! AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH !!!

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: CarolC
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:39 AM

Well, since I believe many of us spend pointless, extended amounts of time reliving or constructing our childhood, or at least the one we wish we had or inaccurately remember, we try to do the same for our Christmases. A fool's errand but an irresistable one, and the foundation of a lot of great literature, incidentally (reread "Captains Courageous", which is what my class is doing.) Nostalgia was once defined as longing for a past that never happened, and thus it is with the Yule, I think.

--LR Mole (December 13, 2001)

That was the last message I ever got from him. He passed away two weeks later.

I got through Thanksgiving (Canadian and US) and Christmas unscathed this year. We were held up for about an hour because of a traffic accident on the way home from Christmas. It must have been a terrible accident. I felt bad for the people who were in the accident, but I was counting my blessings that it wasn't me or anyone I care about.

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 07:13 AM

Bummocks!

Try This!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 07:12 AM

Actually, Mothering Sunday is also known as 'Refreshment Sunday' and those foods forbidden during the rest of Lent were allowed within reason, on that day because it was a minor feast day. The habit of returning to the 'mother church' or the place where you were baptised usually meant seeing your family for the first time in ages too. So there was a minor celebration and you were allowed to eat what was usually restricted.

Of course, if you follow the American tradition and have Mothers' Day, as a set day of the year, then it doesn't really matter.

Pedant, pedant, pedant.....

I've endured two days and they weren't so bad. It's the ones where nothing is happening that are the most difficult to manage at the moment.

http://www.hergamummers.org.uk/ should give you an idea what I was doing for one of them.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 05:02 PM

Pancakes on Mothering Sunday? Which part of the world would that be? Pancake Day is Shrove Tuesday round here. And that would go for Hull as well.

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 04:35 PM

... and to complete the little story above-- I was awakened early this AM (our wedding anniversary) by a phone call for one of the congregation mentioned above, letting me know the Christmas Eve organisrt also would be playing tomorrow AM. I almost leapt out of the bed for joy! And a whole day's dreading made unnecessary! The best part-- I replied with a staight face, no attitude, "Tomorrow would have been my last day, so I will pick up my things midweek." It was received quite icily.... I think she thought I had quit on her in some kinda huff! But actually the year's commitment merely was up! Hee hee hee! Awhahahahahhh! "Did you hear Mrs. H up and quit on us?" "Well, uh..... say, wasn't it actually YOU FOLKS who were so rude as to skip that little farewell/appreciation card on the last day of her service among you?"

So we celebrated my deliverance from bondage by going over there on this lovely sunny day and picking up my stuff, leaving them their key, and visiting a great new little coffeehouse in the little nearby college town.

These things do have a way of working out, and it is always lovely to see just how it happens. I get to sleep in tomorrow!!!!!

Whoo-hoooo!

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: fat B****rd
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:48 PM

Hello, everybody and I hope you are all havung the best Christmas possible.
I have a dreadful habit of worrying about things that I foresee and then having to admit that I had a pretty good time. Looking at the News Film from Iran I must say that grumbling about family behaviour at Holiday time is rather pathetic. This applies to ME but knowing the general good feelings of Mudcat members I'm pretty certain it applies here also.

PS Did anybody else get A Roger The Skiffler personalised Christmas card ??????
Washboard on, Rog !!

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:31 PM

No, pancakes are Mothering Sunday, not Christmas . . .

(jOhn from Hull, you need to read up on your liturgical year . . . ;-) )

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: Kim C
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 10:11 AM

Well, Captain, I am glad you found it! I would have sent you another. :-) We are working on a new one, and are close to being finished, but have had some setbacks like root canals, brake jobs, vet bills, etc...........

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 06:41 AM

pancake.

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 06:28 AM

"partake" rhymes better with "stomach-ache".

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: kendall
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:32 PM

I got a nice surprise, Kim, I found your tape "Stonewall of the west". It went missing months ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: Kim C
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 10:32 PM

I have survived. It wasn't so bad. I am still mystified, that even after 36 years, my mother has barely a clue as to who I really am. But since I don't live with her anymore, I don't reckon it's an issue.

Mister gave me a book of magic tricks. Don't be surprised if you come see us play sometime and I pull a coin out of the air. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: mg
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 10:28 PM

I had a nice solitary Christmas..was going to be with family in Tacoma but traveling did not appeal to me. So I just called them and told them their presents were a donation to Mercy Corps except for the little children...anyway, here are my suggestions for making the most of difficult situations:

1) Limit your time. Stay at a motel if you can.
2) If you have small children, take care of their needs first. Stay home. Let the elders come to you in the afternoon if they are close by, visit them in the afternoon if they are close by, or let them travel to you if they are distant. If they cannot travel, then visit them after Christmas. Don't let them railroad you on this. Don't visit either family if it is a hassle until after Christmas has died down for the children.
3) Eat before you go anywhere and feed the children a solid meal. Don't make them wait too long for presents etc. Expect a bit of overexuberance, but don't tolerate too much bad behavior. Short visits are probably best.
4) Have some things you can do to break up hostilities etc..a game, a walk...enlist your teenage children to help diffuse things with relatives that grate on your nerves. They might like them, or at least they won't mind in the same way.
5) Have something relaxing planned for afterwards...a movie, massage, whatever...something fun...mg

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 10:23 PM

Little Hawk

partake, and partake, and partake,

rhymes with

stomache...

You've got a song there... :-)
"A little doggies Christmas".... :-)
(seen from their viewpoint!)

~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm fighting off boredom (5 TV channels and all rubbish!) by adding more to the Piano Accordion Permathread - it's over 100Kb now -

I've created a Monster!

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 09:21 PM

Thanks jaze!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: jaze
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 08:52 PM

Wysiwig-Im soryy you had such a deflating experience-sounds like it was their loss! I hope you had a Merry Christmas anyway. James

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: Ed.
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 02:16 PM

Going back to the original problem:

We were getting on really well. I suggest that I'd like to a particular thing for the evening.

Biff! #@$£% bang! "You hate me for what I'd like to do" Well,no...

Storming out's, I'm left in the room by myself and that's that...

Merry Christmas all.

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: GUEST,peg
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 02:15 PM

So far, so good!
Got up early, went (well, late)with my brother to MASS where my 15-year old nephew (his son) serves. he was funny; saw me afterwards when i went to say hi to his mom and he said "Hey, they let heathens like you in here?"
Picked up some Krispy Cremes and went tot he folks' house for a bit. Saw my younger brother who I have not seen in a couple years. My sister has apparently had a headache for three straught days (I wonder WHY???) so was pretty low-key. the brat has already gotten a ton of presents but there will be more to unwrap later. he was playing video games endlessly. My sister filled stockings and we opened them... we still do this every year. I took my dad's Labrador puppy (Maggie) for a long walk-run (burned off a half a donut, I think) along the river; gorgeous day! It's a nice area where they live (but for the dumb deer hunters who almost shot me at Thanksgiving) and a nice escape fro fresh air from all the cigarette smoke..
We saw a few flakes of snow when we ventured out to church at 10:30; short-lived, but a welcome sign (of what?) nonetheless...
My dad injured his back and is resting. My bro and I are at his house now, but we have to wrap a few things and will go back to the folkses later for gift sharing and food.
Then will gather with my high school pals to drink, and off to the mall tomorrow.
I am glad I decided to come. It's going well so far.
Happy Saturnalia, all.
peg

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 01:50 PM

Well, it's been unusually mild here for a couple of days, but there's still a layer of wet snow out there on the lawn. The dachshunds got some ham, wrapped up in Christmas paper, and had a big exciting time unwrapping it, as usual. My parents are rushing around in the usual dithering state of confusion, late for dinner with their friend, Lottie, who will bury them under an unceasing avalanche of German cooking. The dogs will also get to partake, and partake, and partake, and will probably later experience serious stomach upsets in the middle of the night...Lottie cannot resist pampering dachshunds.

Mr Chongo is lying comatose on the downstairs couch, having drunk himself into the kind of stupor typical of a lovelorn Primate Eye alone on Christmas. He's not completely alone, but you know what I mean. I don't think he'll be up for more sleuthing until at least Saturday. Damn good thing there are no hyperactive little kids running aroung here!

Rumours are, it will be a mild winter in Canada. I hope so. Have a lovely day, all...

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:52 AM

But Peg, the mud has frozen solid, making it possible for the doggies to roam around the house after a little outing, without my screeching-- almost as good as snow!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: maire-aine
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:31 AM

I guess there's something to be said for being an only child. I don't have any family in the area, so I'll be staying home, and I'm happy with that. I went to Midnight Mass (actually 10pm) last night. My mother had been suffering from Alzheimers for the last few years, but she passed away last February, so now I can come and go as I please.

This morning I (with about 6 other Howard Dean volunteers) was delivering Meals on Wheel in a Detroit neighborhood. There was just a light dusting of snow on the ground and a few flurries in the air.

My best friend is in the hospital, so I'll go up to see him this afternoon. Hopefully he'll be out by the weekend. (Prayers for him would be appreciated.)

I have a small standing rib roast that I'll cook for dinner-- planning on lots of leftovers. And for the evening, I'll light a fire in the fireplace and curl up with a glass or 2 of ruby port and maybe a slice homemade fruitcake.

Hope you all get through the holidays unscathed, and have a peaceful and prosperous New Year,

Maryanne

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: kendall
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:05 AM

Just got back from the tree thing with the kids. Wasn't bad at all, of course, her useless husband, whom she is divorcing, wasn't there. The little guy was very well mannered too.

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: kendall
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 06:41 AM

I'm also up early. Some flang head rang my number then hung up when I answered. That was at 4 am. Either the same idiot, or another idiot did the same thing at 6 am. HUMBUG!!

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 06:27 AM

I'm up early- weird to have the kids sleep in on Christmas day and me in my usual routine.

Peg, it sounds as though you have a good solid plan. May the days be easy and may you have plenty of "steam vents" if and when the frustration builds that you can handle them with grace and humor!
Blessings,
Allison

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: Amos
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 11:11 PM

Never mind the snow, darlin' Peg!! It's the soul that counts, and ya got it in spades, man!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: GUEST,peg
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 10:18 PM

thanks Susan! I hope to one day; but hard to negotiate when I am not the one driving...
happy holidays! it's a bit sad not to see snow on the ground, it's usually a white Christmas in these parts...

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: wysiwyg
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 10:07 PM

Robin, thanks, LOL!

Peg, if you ever head this way on fam visits, and want an irreverence/venting break over at our place, gimme a shout!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: GUEST,Peg
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 10:03 PM

well, I'm here...at my brother's house. He is not here, nor is his dog, but he left the door open. I hung up a string of colored lights to surprise him. he and I had a long talk on the phone this morning and vented our various family frustrations; maybe that was good to get some of it out of my system...
Will go to his ex's place tomorrow, to see my niece and nephew, then off to my parents and the OTHER nephew (the brat). Kendall, boy does your story sound familiar!!!!! I hope to just lay low and when it gets bad take my dad's new puppy for a walk...she is named after me (well, after a childhood nickname) and we get along pretty good.
The day after Christmas, I gather with three old friends from high school, (one gay, one couple and their two great kids) and we hit the mall, for a nice surreal experience...D. shops for clothes, we drop off the kids at the play spot, and P. S. amd I smoke some ganga and laugh at the suburnanites...oops, wait, that's us...
Happy Holidays all! I hope to continue to evolve as a human and be able to just appreciate and enjoy every day FULLY for the gift it is (am working on partially now).

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 08:31 PM

Well, I'm having a quiet one cause when I got the Lub Mobile mob to come and service the car on XMAS Eve for the trip, they quoted $180 + parts - then said that the estimated bill would be $1000. After some negotiation, they agreed that not all repairs were essential to road safety, and the bill was the amount of this weeks centrelink cheque. Lucky my mother grew up in the depression and I inherited her paranoia about keeping a few weeks food in the storage cupboard...


LilyFestre

"I'm hoping she'll give it to him tonight so we can play TONIGHT!!!"

You Do mean the Guitar?...

WYSIWYG

There was this guy who had played the organ for years and wuld let no one else touch it. He eventually became infirm and they were shocked when I replied that I was no longer interested, as life had moved on and I was now involved in Motor Sport as an Offical most Sunday Mornings....

They had this beautiful rare and virtually priceless "portable" organ - about 12 ft long by 6 ft deep by about 10 ft high built in a single box, which had an even rarer built in "piano roll" style player which was decided to not be worth keeping and that they should have a nice new "electric organ"... Well it was called a "portable" because it was in a single moveable unit housing, not built in to the building...

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: Maryrrf
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 06:56 PM

Got through the Christmas Eve family gathering. It was okay. Christmas lunch tomorrow still to come.

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: jaze
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 05:29 PM

I'm yearning for the day when I reach your level of peace, Little Hawk. Thanks for a very insightful post. Fortunately my Christmas family gatherings are quiet and not very stressful. Hope all of you who have to "endure" the holidays are able to do it with grace and dignity and some fun.

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 05:11 PM

Thank you LTS and all the very best to you throughout 2004.

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 04:57 PM

They say hell is "other people". :-) Yeah, well I can certainly sympathize with anyone who is going through familiar old family crap at holiday time...(Peg, Kim, etc...) It can get pretty awkward.

I stopped trying to make other people happy some time ago, and now I find it a lot easier to accept them just the way they are, and easier to be happy myself, regardless of how they are. Maybe that's compassion. Maybe it's acceptance. Maybe it's just experience.

Christmas has gotten simpler and simpler for me as the years go by...and it's become quieter and more spiritual. I appreciate what Jesus did on behalf of humanity, and I also appreciate the fact that the sun has passed the longest night of the year, and is now returning to us in the northern hemisphere...bringing light, renewed hope, and the promise of Spring.

So, in both the Pagan and the Christian sense, it's a very blessed time.

The commercial side of Christmas? That barely touches me any more, but I watch it from a distance with some amusement, enjoy the good food (persimmon season!), and manage to have quite a bit of fun in the process.

Be careful on the roads, folks! There are some mighty stressed-out drivers rushing around out there.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: kendall
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 04:38 PM

I am relieved when it is all over and I can retreat back into my peace and quiet.
My oldest daughter has a 7 year old who is always a pain in the ass. She does not believe in "Taking him in hand." and I have been forbidden to even take him by the shirt and say "KNOCK IT OFF".
So, my other two daughters find something else to do on holidays, and the oldest pisses and moans about how they don't care about their nephews and neice. I've told her in plain English that I will not be ruled by a brat, and will just stay away. She doesn't hear it, and it's all our fault. She is a control freak and, a republican! Is that redundant? She makes excuses for the brat, "He has A.D.D. and all that.I say, "Horse shit" he is very bright, and knows how to get his own way.

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: wysiwyg
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 04:35 PM

Forgot-- special musicians' fun for the holidays:

The tiny, failing church several towns over, where I have provided acoustic music for Sunday services all this past year, forgot to tell me they had hired an organist to play their broken-down, stiff old organ for the Christmas Eve service. I found this out during the announcements part of last week's service when the priest said, "XXX and his wife will be staying after the service to clean and decorate the church for the Christmas service; I hope you'll all come help because as I've just been told, we'll have an organist to play for us!" He seemed to have some trouble understanding how humiliating that had been, to learn their plans at such a late date and to be so clearly insulted as a second-class musician, in front of one and all. I could not sing the closing hymn at all. My throat just would not open.

Not only would I have been playing as I did last year, there is the rest of the band, including my husband, who is this priest's fellow clergyman and who has extended major support during what has been a very difficult pastorate in this stiff-necked little place. Fortunately I had not yet rehearsed the band with the special music we'd have done just for them, but we were all anticipating playing for them and had set the date aside, even my husband who would have been rushing over there from our own church's 5 PM family mass.

There have been many positives in the last year, and I wish with all my heart I had not taken it the way I did, but the hurt has gone pretty deep.

Even better-- this coming Sunday was to be the last of the 1-year commitment we had entered into. Funny how I just don't even want to go!

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: Kim C
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 04:18 PM

Bishop's Wife is great, for any of you who haven't seen it. It reminds me of Chocolat, just a little... uptight people who have lost sight of what makes them joyful are thrown for a loop by a mysterious charming stranger. Go rent it.

I'm on my 3rd little glass of madeira. Going to Mom's here in a few minutes. Mister is in a good humor, and I got to talk to one of my best pards today. So all is good. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: LilyFestre
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 01:10 PM

A completely relaxing day is what we have planned. Family, close friends, snacky foods (a little bit of each of our favorites), games, movies, and music...that's what our plan is!

My closest girlfriend has gotten her fiance a new guitar for Christmas which he has BEGGED for and she has been cursing at him for at least a month about how he is not going to get the _()&*%^%# guitar and to STOP already...LOL...it's been hidden in the closet all along...LOL....cracks me up! Can't wait to play with him! I'm hoping she'll give it to him tonight so we can play TONIGHT!!!!!!!!! After all, her kids are going to be opening gifts from Auntie Chell and Uncle Pete...why not the BIG kids as well, eh?

Family traditions will wait until the Little One returns. Who says the tree can't stay up until February, hmmmmmmmmm?????? :)

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 11:16 AM

I moved to Maine, Peg. Now I don't even send presents on time.

I had one totally disfunctional Easter dinner that cured me of trying to make family happy. For whatever reason, people have to pick at scabs and let all the festering anger ooze out. Well...not in my home or at my table.

The Bishop's Wife??? For the first time. Lucky you, Kim. Enjoy.

I have had wonderful holidays with my brothers and their families. Those memories I treasure. Merry Christmas, all.

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: jaze
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 10:02 AM

Good Luck Kim. I hope you have a peaceful and mellow day.

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: Kim C
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 09:49 AM

Well, I had a good night's sleep, and I had a nice yoga practice this morning. I believe I'm ready. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 09:07 AM

What cannot be cured must be endured.

If you lot can endure my cooking I'll carry on with my cure!

The most important thing to do, whatever your situation, wherever you are, whoever you are with or without, is to take a minimum of 5 minutes to be with yourself, because that's the one person you can never do without.

Blessings on all of you. Even the GUEST.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: GUEST,Skipjack K8
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 08:42 AM

I mention this in support of Jeanie's 'all things must pass' post.

Half a dozen years ago, we had a string of hateful family Christmas gatherings, and I won't dwell on the circumstances. But that period passed, and now we are all at ease with each other, and I am genuinely looking forwrad to leaving the office now, and going home to greet all the guests, and having a warm and loving atmosphere for the next two days.

I hope this helps those that feel that nothing can change for the better.

Peace be with you.
Greg

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: Peg
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 08:20 AM

grand advice there Amos, and Allison. (and Khatt; yes, alcohol helps!) A friend I told about the situation yesterday said my sister sounds very unhappy. I should at least try to understand that, even if it is unfair for her to take it out on me. I "IMed" her this morning and we had a nice neutral chat. She did say her son is already all worked up over the holiday...sigh. I am certainly not the only one to think he's a brat, just the only one who ever says anything about it in her presence. Is that speaking truth? ;) It occurred to me to say to he at some point, next time she insults me, to ask her if she won't feel badly after I die when she realizes she didn't need to treat me like dog shit for all this time...

I have tentatively decided to go "home" for the holidays, if I can   get a cat sitter in time and if I don't decide against it because my roof is still not repaired and there is heavy rain coming in tonight...
If I do go, I will try to take some of this advice and go with the flow and not take things too personally (even when the negativity is directed squarely at me). I just learned my younger brother is home and have not seen him in a while. He is staying at my parents' house and I will stay at my older brother's place.We'll see how it goes. I have friendswho share a secret code with me; when we have had enough of our families we call each other up and say "blender!" which means "Get me out of here!"

Okay, going to wrap the humble gifts I bought yesterday...
peg

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 08:01 AM

Im spending the 25th and 26th with friends and no doubt alot of alcohol! I am travelling up to Yorkshire on the 27th to be with my family and returning on the 30th to relax before a New Years Eve Party on the 31st...with yes Friends and copious amounts of alcohol.

I didn't go home at all last year. Things were strained to say the least between my mum and I and this year we have both made the effort to make up and agree that we will never be best friends but we can make a good go of having a mother daughter relationship. Life is too short not to get on and deal with it!

Hopefully I will survive the 3days I am up North and get to catch up with family I haven't seen for 2 or 3 years!

I know that for a lot of us 2003 has been a difficult year we have suffered bereavements and illnesses but we also have little blessings and Miracles....the birth of much wanted twins, Sorcha's Grandson and Katlaughing's Grandson. I wish everyone the strength to get through Christmas and Fantastic New Year!!

Blessings
Khatt

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 06:40 AM

Amos, my friend, you put it very well, as usual! My beloved used to say, "speak the truth that's inside you." I try to have the wisdom to know when speaking up matters and when it's important that I know the truth that's inside me, but am willing to be patient and forbearing (and keep my trap shut!) with those around me.

I have relatives who are difficult to deal with at the holidays, but I love them and try to accept them as they are, because they are not going to change. Christmas is a day of deep meaning for me, as a day of hope and prayer for peace on earth, light in the darkness, hope of new birth. I try to grow "duck's feathers" and let the tactless, clueless words roll off me like water.

I learned long ago not to have inflated expectations for Christmas day. The concerts and gatherings leading up to the actual day have more meaning for me than the day itself. So I just look at the day as another day to learn the lessons life has for me (and life has been dishing out some pretty intense lessons lately). And to enjoy the fact that my kids and I can wink at each other over the heads of the more clueless relatives, and let peace prevail.
Blessings on all,
Allison

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:33 PM

Peg:

Forgive the late answer, but it seems to me that the way "though" this dense tanglefoot is calling on the truth of the situation -- by which i mean, any time you can get the truth stated and communicated in such a way that it penetrates the clouds of various forms of denial in play, you make big points. Anytime you can kill the noise by injecting a statement of truth you gain karma, big time, and more important you bring the other participants a widdle bit closer to saying yes to what the real game is, instead of blustering through with pretense. At the very worst, if you name the situation truthfully and they cannot face it, at least you get expelled for all the right reasons!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: mg
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:24 PM

well, I have a brother who is brain damaged who is convinced the Hmong refugees are after him, a sister who believes we are trying to poison her if we serve meat, a brother who has bowed out of the whole situation...but we muddle through and have some good times...mg

Subject: RE: BS: Enduring the Holidays.
From: Kim C
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 10:00 PM

GUEST, asking a balding man if he's tried Rogaine is about as polite as asking a fat person if they've tried the Atkins diet. Some things are personal, and I believe it's rude to bring them up at a table full of people. 'Specially when it ain't nobody's business. I don't care that my husband is bald. It isn't something that needs to be "fixed," and that's what this person was implying.