BS: Bomb in knapsack

Subject: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: GUEST,obnig hrobdog
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 07:34 PM

Well, I've had a rummage and I can't, rather to my surprise, find a thread on this already.

Perhaps the vodka is stopping me seeing it.

But how can anyone take seriously a so-called civilisation that threatens to imprison anyone who jokes of their knapsack, "I've got three bombs in there"? Have they never heard of gallows humour? Or stiff upper lips?

And a so-called civilisation that has an "immigration department" that might exclude from the country someone seeking to enter to answer bail?

God save us.

And, of course, also save us from from people from middle european countries (with mid-atlantic accents) who are "british". But at least she nearly has an English sense of humour.

I regularly say to security officers at the Royal Courts of Justice "Do you want to inspect my bomb", and those courts have been a pillar of the establishment since before a misguided southern european found some large islands a bit west of Cuba. (I exaggerate, but not a lot).

I have done so at the Houses of Parliament.

Both say "thank you sir", and inspect. I suppose an insubordinate American would say "What's your first name? Well Brian (not my name)...".

Damned presumption.

Damned idiocy.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 08:03 PM

I think the idea is to show once and for all that irony is officially defined as an un-American mode of discourse.

Its probably primarily aimed at those deviant and unpatriotic Americans who go in for that kind of stuff.

They got an Irish hurley player banged up a few months ago for something similar - I'm not sure what happened in the end.

Meanwhile it appears you can walk onto planes with a handful of bullets in your pocket, and nobody notices...

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 08:22 PM

Agree as always McG. Humour really doesn't travel well. I have seen some excellent witty bantering on this site mullered by a heavy handed attempt at poetry from across the Pond.Horses for courses.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 08:27 PM

Apologies to witty Americans, didn't mean to generalise, there must be some.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: Leadfingers
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:14 PM

I can NOT make up my mind who needs to be pilloried most- The stupid girl who could make a comment like that, or the immigration people who took her so seriously. As I think I might have said before 'The Mind Boggles!!!!'

Subject: Molly Meldrum Detained, kicked out of US
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:49 PM

Molly Meldrum - a face even more recognised in Australia than the prime Minister was detained, then deported out of US back to Australia - allegedly there was some mixup over his Visa. He has appeared on US TV more often that President Bush. He was on his way there to interview Media Celebrities.

Ok, some people don't like the guy, but that is ridiculous. So why is it impossible to fix up such problems while you wait?

Is everyone in the USA totally ****ed in the head?

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: CarolC
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:52 PM

No, GUEST, 22 Jan 04 - 08:27 PM, not even one.

Anybody got a link to this story?

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 10:39 PM

Bomb joke was 'foolish mistake'

"Miss Marson placed her bag on the belt at a security check, telling a Transportation Security Administration screener: 'Hey be careful, I have three bombs in here'"

Presumably the airport staff have been told that this is just the way terorists can be expected to behave...

"Sergeant Joe Wyche from Miami Airport Police told BBC Midlands Today that officers had been left with no choice but to arrest Miss Marson...'I'm sure probably over in Britain if similar comments are made it's not laughed upon.' "

Well they might not laugh, because they've heard the crack so often. As "GUEST,obnig hrobdog" remarked up the thread, people do that all the time. But then everyone here is a bit more used to bombs over here, I suppose, and a bit more used to casual irony as well. That kind of thing isn't really "a joke", it's a normal way of talking.

I just can't imagine this kind of reaction here - I suppose they might have given her a more thorough check than normal, because they can get fed up with hearing remarks like that, time after time. And after all she might just conceivably be a bomber trying a double bluff. But that in Miami was just pompous, hysterical, and ridiculous.

I suppose if she'd said "I haven't got any bombs in there" they'd probably have reacted much the same...No pleasing some people.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: GUEST, heric
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 10:55 PM

I think they may have overreacted with conscious foresight. The point is that it isn't funny, there's no humour in it at all, and to start a flame thread in the "no sense of humor" vein is almost as boring. (Yes, I'm bored I 'm still at work.) I can't tell you how many times all Americans have been told not to tell that stupid joke because its not funny and "we will make you pay for it if you tell it" has been the message. That's been a rule much longer than 9/11. If people want to bring that kind of humor to enlighten boring Americans, well, same rules apply I guess. Think of a different, funny joke, after all these years. That's all they're asking, I think.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: LadyJean
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 01:01 AM

That sort of overreaction has been going on since the first wave of hijackings in the 60s and 70s. You'll see references to it in a "Born Loser" comic strip, where The Born Loser is arrested for shouting Hi to his friend Jack in an airport. You will also see it in the film "Harry and Tonto" where Harry is thrown out of an airport for complaining "What do you think I've got in that cat carrier? A thompson sub machine gun!" There used to be notices in airports explaining that this wasn't a joking matter, and they would overreact.
I'm not saying it's wise. I'm saying it's been airport policy for a long time.
The last time I was summoned for jury duty, security was very nice, and mildly amused at having to wave a metal detector at me.

I have a friend who works for airport security. They work insane hours, for very low pay. Sometimes they also go overboard.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: Teribus
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 04:13 AM

MGOH,

Not only is it not laughed at over her in the UK, people face prison sentences, very heavy fines, or a combination of both. Yes, we are much more used to bombs over here, in the late 70's, I can remember being on a flight from Aberdeen to London, when some prat pulled exactly this stunt going through security. Reaction of the airport security people and the Grampian Police was pretty much the reaction Ms Marson received. For the rest of us it meant a delay while all baggage was removed from the aircraft to be identified and checked in detail.

Security procedures are put in place for the good of those travelling, those tasked with carrying out those checks are told to take their jobs seriously and perform conscientiously, shift after shift. They are not there to act as "straight man" for some stupid, and not very funny, joke, allegedly repeated three times, by someone, who by all accounts should not be allowed out the front door without a label round her neck.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 04:52 AM

I expect that the incident was started by her rucksack being knocked about by the baggage handlers. After seeing my guitar (with a fragile label on it) being chucked around at Stansted airport I felt like saying much the same sort of thing. I wonder if a terrorist would be entitled to sue an airline if his bomb was damaged by such maltreatment ?

I expect it would have caused as much of a fuss if Ms Marson had said "There aren't any bombs in there" ?

I once was given a spherical container of sweets which was made to look like a bomb (it even had B-O-M-B written on the side in large letters) complete with a fuse on top - I wonder what they'd have made of that.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 05:27 AM

Apparantly there was a salesman from the UK landed at JFK with samples of lotions and linaments. When asked what was in his case he replied Balms.

I believe he is still in prison awaiting trial...

Cheers

:D

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: GUEST,JTT
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 06:32 AM

Poor Americans, they're frightened.

It shows the scary power of propaganda: three bombs went off three years ago, and they're still so scared that they react like this.

Of course it was overreaction - the sensible thing would have been to tell the silly girl that she shouldn't joke about things that kill people, and to search her baggage - maybe delay her a bit.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 08:38 AM

It shouldn't make any difference whether someone says they've got a bomb or not, everything should be properly checked anyway.

In fact the chances are that anybody who says they've got a bomb is a lot less likely to have one than someone who says they haven't. If they are focussing their attention on this kind of thing, it's rather worrying.

Remarks like this aren't really about people trying to be funny, they come out as a way of dealing with slight embarrassment in an lodd kind of situation. A silly way, in the circumstances, but not in any way a bomb hoax.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 09:00 AM

It is a known fact, alright by me anyway, that people often say the most ludicrous/innappropriate things through nerves.

She was probably reacting to being in an airport, in a country, that is incredibly dangerous.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 10:45 AM

Molly who?
I know the President, VP, and quite a bit of the cabinet on sight but your Molly would be just another face in the crowd to me. On the TV more than Bush? Not possible with the exception of Michael Jackson!

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: Wolfgang
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:00 AM

Humour and security, a rare example from the other side:

Once (at the time of the IRA bombing campaign in England) my brother and I came back from Ireland to enter Britain. He had part of his belongings in an ammunition case and he placed it down by the foot of the security officer to get his passport. A short time later the officer looked down and said, does this case belong to one of you? Yes, said my brother. I'm pleased to hear that said the officer, in case of a 'no' you would have seen me make a big jump behind that counter there.

Humour and security, the usual example:

A security officer (French) checked my bag very closely for quite some time. When he made the sign he had finished I said: "Pas mal, vous avez trouve quatre des cinq compartiments dans ma valise" (Not bad, you've found four out of the five compartments in my bag). Well, he then decided that he had not yet finished the search for quite a long time to come.

Humour and customs, a story with a twist:

All four of us in the car looked like prototypical cannabis users to the customs (Swiss). At that time, smuggling cannabis into Switserland was a good deal. One of the preferred hides (small amount for personal use) was in a (more or less empty) matchbox. One of us had some dozen empty matchboxes with her. We grinned when the customs officer opened all of them one after the other to find them empty. He thought this was our joke on him and that we tried to double bluff with the empty matchboxes so he found a colleague and they searched us for two hours.

What they had considered a silly joke wasn't a joke. She needed the matchboxes for her diploma thesis on little insect just to keep them confined. We told the customs officers that but they made clear that they didn't believe us.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:21 AM

Don't fault the American people, an awful lot of them think the rules are a bit overboard, more times than not.

Blame the Official Paranoiacs who think that you can make life risk-free, and annoy a great number of people by trying to do so. Blame the media, who feed the paranoia.

And yes, the rules about joking about firearms, bombs, and such HAVE been in place here since the early '70s.

In 1969, I flew from Seattle to Chicago and farther with a Fairbairn knife in my carryon that I'd just purchased in a cutlery shop at the Seattle airport....

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: muppett
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:42 AM

The following story was mentioned on the Terry Wogan show this week,
A plane on route from Singapore to Germany was turned backed when over half way, when a passenger told a stewardess that he'd over heard the 2 passengers in front of him saying that they were Bosnian Terrorists, back in Singapore secruity guards grilled the accused and eventually after inspecting their luggage they let them go. the accused passengers were in fact Indians and they were Bass guitarists.The other passenger had misheard what they were saying due to their accents

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:51 AM

Women should be careful about using the remark "Does this make my bum look big" at airports.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 12:43 PM

But I'm puzzled why thet should think there is something suspicious about someone making a crack like that? I mean, I can imagine how it might seem tasteless in some eyes, but suspicious, that's a bit daft.

I wonder if they are tied up by rules and regulations which were drawn up to deal with people making bomb hoaxes, which pretty clearly this wasn't.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: DMcG
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 02:34 PM

There's ANOTHER Brain-of-Britain has made similar comments to airport security today - apparantly out of temper.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 03:32 PM

It was Easyjet........have you ever flown Easyjet? You are not allowed to board their planes without a full scale row at check in, it is a sort of passport control I think.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 10:09 PM

It's not so much that she made the joke in the first place, more the fact that the silly cow repeated it twice more and then got confused about where she lived - she's a Polish citizen who lives in Britain (or vice versa) and the way she explained it wasn't very clear.

Manitas and I flew Easyjet last March, internal flight London to Glasgow and everything was investigated. Manitas caused a bit of a stir when his arse set the metal detector off but we realised it was a key ring in his pocket.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: LadyJean
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 12:38 AM

I have 9 screws in my left arm. If the airlines are really nervous, I always know, because the metal detector picks them up. They didn't during the recent orange alert.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 06:13 PM

That rather suggest that they turn the metal detectors off most of the time, which is somewhat worrying for anyone planning to fly, or living on a flight path.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: GUEST,c.sparra
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 06:41 PM

LadyJean, I can sympathise big time, having had five screws and a plate in ankle a few years back. They were removed after two years and in that time never set off a metal detector anywhere. I always sort of assumed they were too low to be picked up.Try walking through on your hands next time? Hope they're not too painful.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 07:00 PM

I've had a few screws too, but they never set off any metal detectors - but wouldn't have expected there to be any metal detectors present at the time..... ;-)

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: GUEST,c.sparra
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 07:03 PM

But were you standing on your hands?

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 06:36 AM

... on all fours count? :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: The Stage Manager
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 09:24 AM

Having done a fair bit of travelling in my time: USA, the old Eastern Block, Europe, Middle East, etc. my colleagues always took the view that the moment anyone got into a uniform at an airport they had also volunteered for the sense of humour by pass. As they also have the power to hold you up, bang you in the slammer, or otherwise make life unpleasant, so no point in antagonizing them, they can have the last laugh.   

One of the companies I worked for had a pretty formidable Wardrobe Mistress who took no crap from anybody. She always dressed smartly to travel, always had the documentation ready, never smiled at officials, answered the questions politely and sailed through everywhere.   Took me two years to notice her customs carnet always included "15 litres wig cleaner". Odd since we never had any wigs on the show during my time there. She just smiled sweetly when I mentioned it. I dread to think what was in the Maintenance Kits.      


SM

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: Arnie
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 06:47 AM

Don't know if it's true, but I heard that when applying for a US visa in the '60's, one of the questions on the form was 'Do you now or have you ever intended to assassinate the President of the United States'. Of course those jokers tempted to reply 'Yes' were refused a visa.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 07:28 AM

I wonder if there was a similiar question in Iraqi visa application form ?

McGrath - I was just joking about the similarity between the words bum and bomb - especially if one side wasn't a native english speaker.

My guitar case has caused some consternation when x-rayed, because of the curly PA lead and the strange fishook-shaped object and detonator like device inside the instrument - nothing more than the transducer and it's lead.

Perhaps we should all start singing that Sydney Carter song:- "I want to have a little bomb like you"

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 01:02 PM

What I meant was, why should anyone think there was anything in the least suspicious about actually making a crack about having a bomb in your bag, while handing it in to be searched.

It's hardly likely that anyone who has a bomb is going to do that - in any case, it guarantees that it'll be searched (in case it's a double bluff). Keep schtum, and 99 times out of 100 it'd just be waved through, if it didn't set off some ex-ray machine, which it wouldn't if it was a competently made bomb, designed to go through undetected.

I'd have thought that any laws about this kind of thing would have been brought in to deal with hoaxers saying "Don't touch me - I have a bomb in my baggage, and I will explode it if you come any nearer, and stuff like that.

Using these kinds of regulations as a way of punishing non-haoxers, just because the people on the gate think they are disrespectful or tasteless is batty.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 01:12 PM

No bum cracks, McGrath.

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: GUEST,Nick
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 04:03 PM

Wow. How can anbody possibly think that a comment about carrying a bomb would not or should not be reacted harshly to? The idiot who made the comment should probably not be allowed to ever set foot near an airport, much less on a plane just on principle alone. Just like the guy in first class who took a crap on the beverage cart after being shut off did not cause any real harm, this joker is looking around and saying "Gee what did I do that was so wrong?"

I bet all the people in the security line almost pissed thier pants, during the uncontrolled mirth and frivolity that surely ensued when this real bomb of a joke was offerd up.

Oh please, stop, my sides!

Nick

Subject: RE: BS: Bomb in knapsack
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 04:49 PM

But what's that got to do with making sure people aren't actually taking real bombs on aeroplanes without telling anybody? That's what security is supposed to be about, not wasting time on frivolities like this.

All this demonstrates is that the security arrangements generally are just a minimal cost bluff, designed to keep people flying. Public relations.

As has been pointed out, about the only airline that actually does appear to take security seriously is El Al.