BS: ChickenSoupForTheBeerDrinkingSoul

Subject: BS: ChickenSoupForTheBeerDrinkingSoul
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:06 AM

Found on another forum:

CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE BEER DRINKER

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"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy

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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman

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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright

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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke

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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin

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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry

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BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
~ "Unknown"

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Remember "I"! before "E", except in Budweiser.

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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!

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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. ! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: ChickenSoupForTheBeerDrinkingSoul
From: jeffp
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:35 AM

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Subject: RE: BS: ChickenSoupForTheBeerDrinkingSoul
From: nosluap57
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:37 AM

"Never drink water. Fish f*ck in it."
- W.C. Fields

Subject: RE: BS: ChickenSoupForTheBeerDrinkingSoul
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:54 AM

Cliff's note is so riddled with illogic as to be flamboyantly irreverent! LOL!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: ChickenSoupForTheBeerDrinkingSoul
From: Morticia
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 12:39 PM

Everyone should believe in something.....I believe I'll have another drink.

Subject: RE: BS: ChickenSoupForTheBeerDrinkingSoul
From: Bill D
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 12:40 PM

"Got problems? You just need to beer up under the strain"

      Bill D, 1997

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beer allows you to take life's little problems more easily

and

remain cool under stress

Subject: RE: BS: ChickenSoupForTheBeerDrinkingSoul
From: curmudgeon
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 01:01 PM

There are but two reasons to take a drink; one is to cure a thirst, the other to prevent a thirst. Prevention is better than cure.

Subject: RE: BS: ChickenSoupForTheBeerDrinkingSoul
From: Kim C
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 01:25 PM

Thanks, Spaw. I needed that!

Subject: RE: BS: ChickenSoupForTheBeerDrinkingSoul
From: pixieofdoom
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 02:52 PM

"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer."
-Frank Zappa

Subject: RE: BS: ChickenSoupForTheBeerDrinkingSoul
From: GUEST,Kaleb
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 03:09 PM

Our Lager, which art in barrels,

                        Hallowed be thy drink.

                Thy will be drunk (I will be drunk),

                   At home as it is in the Pub.

                  Give us this day our foamy head,

                   And forgive us our spillages,

               As we forgive those who spill against us.

                And lead us not into incarceration,

                   But deliver us from hangover.

            For thine is the Beer, the Bitter and the Lager,

                         For ever and ever.

                               Barmen!

Subject: RE: BS: ChickenSoupForTheBeerDrinkingSoul
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 05:51 PM

How many (especially over 40) who extol all this talk about beer are at this point unhealthily fat?

Subject: RE: BS: ChickenSoupForTheBeerDrinkingSoul
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 06:00 PM

Dunno, Martin, but I do know there are an awful lot of healthy miserable gits with stress levels that will see them off before they are 50:-)

Bit of a heartwarmimg rather than humerous beer story Here. Follow the link "A Great New Beer for a Great Cause".

Who says beer can't help anyone!

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: ChickenSoupForTheBeerDrinkingSoul
From: Joe_F
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 06:33 PM

...And malt does more than Milton can
To justify God's ways to man. -- A. E. Housman

I'm very fond of water,
I drink it noon and night;
No mother's son or daughter
Hath therein more delight.
At luncheon, too, I drink it,
And strength it seems to bring:
When really good, I think it
A liquor for a king.
But I forgot to mention --
'Tis best to be sincere --
I use an old invention
That makes it into Beer. -- Lord Neaves

Through the years we've grown used
To the truth-telling boor,
So rejoice in the yeast
And its white lies on beer,
In the bubble-borne boost
To the bedlam where you're
A contented old beast
In a Happy New Year. -- me