BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.

Subject: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: GUEST,m
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 07:38 PM

Lotsa people got lotsa troubles lately, and I thought I'd post this thread to let us get ours minds off it. Some folks have heavy hearts, deserved or otherwise. Others have different sorts of problems: beds that won't stop squeeking; beds that won't start squeeling; no beds, just cold meat freezers; illness; hunger; on the rag 24/7/365 and other stuff like that. Let's pick ourselves up and address the issue from an alien's point of view.

What do I see when I look at a petunia?

Subject: RE: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 07:43 PM

Lunch.

Subject: RE: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 07:45 PM

Well, you sound pretty alien, all right!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: GUEST,¥¤ÞŸŒ€ÇÐƧ the Invincible
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 07:56 PM

How can you bunch of ÞŒ‡Å€ß even entertain the idea that you would be worthy of considering a topic of such truly cosmic import? I, ¥¤ÞŸŒ€ÇÐƧ the Invincible, will tell you what to think about this subject whenever you're old enough to know what to do with the information.

That'll probably be in about another thirty million of your years so don't wet your pants in anticipation.

Subject: RE: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 09:19 PM

I think all we have to do is avoid contact with other galaxies.

Subject: RE: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 10:03 PM

It isn't what you see when you look at a petunia, m. It is the scent you smell when you close your eyes sitting next to a bed of petunias just after sunset.

Subject: RE: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: GUEST,SueB
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 02:38 AM

Now I'm all worried. What if what the alien sees when he/she/it/other looks at a petunia is just what he/she/it/other needs to achieve galactic domination and the enslavement of humankind? Pretty soon we'll all be planting petunias day and night and watering them with our blood, mark my words.

Subject: RE: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: GUEST,The Supremacy of Eddore
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 09:29 AM

Foolish slime worms! I have already set The Plan in motion. Your atmosphere will be impregnated with thionite before we burn it away, your minds will be seared, and our negaspheres will consume your sun. You can stop this only by rejecting the Galactic Patrol and the so-called "Civilization" it promotes and submitting, without reservation, to me and me alone. Strip Star A Star of his Lens and turn him over to our justice. Then we shall discuss your place in Boskonia.

Subject: RE: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 09:35 AM

*yawn*

Eddorians are so tiresome - aren't they?

Subject: RE: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 11:20 AM

"I'm a lonely little petunia in a galactic onion patch"

Subject: RE: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 12:58 PM

I think the best way to avoid intergalactive strife would be:

1. End the Bush administration.

2. Abolish the Democratic and Republican parties. That's right, get rid of both of 'em!

3. Disarm all countries and disband the military forces worldwide.

4. Abolish money, and replace it with a system that establishes a basic level of decent life for all people on the planet, coupled with definite incentives which allow people who contribute more to society to benefit proportionately from their contributions over and above that basic level of decent life.

5. Ensure that everyone has enough food, shelter, basic necessities, health care, and equal opportunities in education.

6. Ban reruns of "Three's Company" until society matures enough to no longer be mentally damaged by viewing them. This might take, say, thirty years.

That should do it. We will be happy, prosperous, and harmless, and no threat to other galaxies.

Subject: RE: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: JennyO
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 01:02 PM

Well, Mostly Harmless, anyway ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 04 - 09:45 AM

Subject: RE: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 04 - 09:51 AM

Do what the messages tell you to do. Below this box is the answer: it says, quite clearly, "Submit message." You can therefore only use this for a message of submission. They have seized Mudcat. So use this message, filling in the blanks as appropriate for your condition:

"I, __________________, give up! I submit to your overpowering force and/or intellect and/or bloodthirstiness and/or _______________________. I also surrender my entire nation of ______________________________. We ain't gonna study war no more, 'cause it wouldn't do any good anyway. Feel free to use us as food/slaves/sex objects/pets/highway pavement. Thank you."

Subject: RE: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: Bill D
Date: 25 Aug 04 - 10:10 AM

Ban "Three's Company"??

but you intend to ALLOW "Gilligan's Island" to continue?

We are lost!

Subject: RE: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 04 - 10:12 AM

As Foolish Time Worms, I suggest we should focus on doing what time worms do best. DOn't ask me what that is, but it seems like an idea, anyway. Probably something like destorying the quality and harmony of time. We could do this by corrupting our educational system so that it destroys the germ of curiosity, andf discourages debate. We could do it by establishing corrupt, authoritarian political groups and giving them power to suppress people's communication. And, getting every home to install a big electronic receiver and then inundating the residents with banal entertainment, mindless infomration about proeducts, and a news flow that completely distorts the real nature of events as they pass.

Between these approaches I am sure we will turn a basically interesting continuum into something that looks like a greasy-spoon bar for teredos raised on softwood.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 25 Aug 04 - 10:15 AM

'you intend to ALLOW "Gilligan's Island" to continue?'

Must keep up the brainwashing, Citizen!

Subject: RE: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: GUEST,SueB
Date: 25 Aug 04 - 10:47 AM

Highway pavement, Bill?! I will not submit to that!

Subject: RE: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: GUEST,SueB
Date: 25 Aug 04 - 10:48 AM

I meant, Highway pavement, Rapaire?!?!

Subject: RE: BS: Intergalactic Strife: How to avoid it.
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 04 - 10:56 AM

See? It is working!!!

A