BS: McGonagall DOES Pennsylvania!!!!

Subject: BS: McGonagall DOES Pennsylvania!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 10:49 PM

William McGonagall loved recounting terrible disasters in poetry, and by golly he found a doozy in Pennsylvania! Read on...

THE PENNSYLVANIA DISASTER
by William McGonagall

'TWAS in the year of 1889, and in the month of June,
Ten thousand people met with a fearful doom,
By the bursting of a dam in Pennsylvania State,
And were burned, and drowned by the flood-- oh! pity their fate!

The embankment of the dam was considered rather weak,
And by the swelled body of water the embankment did break,
And burst o'er the valley like a leaping river,
Which caused the spectators with fear to shiver.

And on rushed the mighty flood, like a roaring big wave,
Whilst the drowning people tried hard their lives to save;
But eight thousand were drowned, and their houses swept away,
While the spectators looked on, stricken with dismay.

And when the torrent dashed against the houses they instantly toppled o'er,
Then many of the houses caught fire, which made a terrific roar;
And two thousand people, by the fire, lost their lives,
Consisting of darling girls and boys, also men and their wives.

And when the merciless flood reached Johnstown it was fifty feet high,
While, in pitiful accents, the drowning people for help did cry;
But hundreds of corpses, by the flood, were swept away,
And Johnstown was blotted out like a child's toy house of clay.

Alas! there were many pitiful scenes enacted,
And many parents, for the loss of their children, have gone distracted,
Especially those that were burned in the merciless flame,
Their dear little ones they will never see again.

And among the sad scenes to be witnessed there,
Was a man and his wife in great despair,
Who had drawn from the burning mass a cradle of their child,
But, oh, heaven! their little one was gone, which almost drove them wild.

Oh, heaven! it was a pitiful and a most agonising sight,
To see parents struggling hard with all their might,
To save their little ones from being drowned,
But 'twas vain, the mighty flood engulfed them, with a roaring sound.

There was also a beautiful girl, the belle of Johnstown,
Standing in bare feet, on the river bank, sad and forlorn,
And clad in a loose petticoat, with a shawl over her head,
Which was all that was left her, because her parents were dead.

Her parents were drowned, and their property swept away with the flood,
And she was watching for them on the bank where she stood,
To see if they would rise to the surface of the water again,
But the dear girl's watching was all in vain.

And as for Conemaugh river, there's nothing could it surpass;
It was dammed up by a wall of corpses in a confused mass;
And the charred bodies could be seen dotting the burning debris,
While the flames and sparks ascended with a terrific hiss.

The pillaging of the houses in Johnstown is fearful to describe,
By the Hungarians and ghouls, and woe betide
Any person or party that interfered with them,
Because they were mad with drink, and yelling like tigers in a den.

And many were to be seen engaged in a hand-to-hand fight,
And drinking whisky, and singing wild songs, oh! what a shameful sight!
But a number of the thieves were lynched and shot
For robbing the dead of their valuables, which will not be forgot.

Mrs Ogle, like a heroine, in the telegraph office stood at her post,
And wired words of warning, else more lives would have been lost;
Besides she was warned to flee, but from her work she wouldn't stir,
Until at last the merciless flood engulfed her.

And as for the robbery and outrage at the hands of the ghouls,
I must mention Clara Barton and her band of merciful souls,
Who made their way fearlessly to the wounded in every street,
And the wounded and half-crazed survivors they kindly did treat.

Oh, heaven! it was a horrible sight, which will not be forgot,
So many people drowned and burned--oh! hard has been their lot!
But heaven's will must be done, I'll venture to say,
And accidents will happen until doomsday!




Now you can't really beat that for drama and pathos, eh? Only in America...and ONLY as told by McGonagall!

Subject: RE: BS: McGonagall DOES Pennsylvania!!!!
From: Teresa
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 11:17 PM

He sure didn't like those Hungarians much, did he? :>

LH, you have corrupted me. Now I'm compelled to read this ... this ... most unusual writing.

T

Subject: RE: BS: McGonagall DOES Pennsylvania!!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 11:21 PM

Oh, 'twas a sad sight!

Subject: RE: BS: McGonagall DOES Pennsylvania!!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 11:22 PM

why, there's the little girl now!

Subject: RE: BS: McGonagall DOES Pennsylvania!!!!
From: M.Ted
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 11:58 PM

For those who care about detail over drama, check this::
The Johnstown Flood

HISTORY

OF

THE JOHNSTOWN FLOOD

INCLUDING

ALL THE FEARFUL RECORD; THE BREAKING OF THE SOUTH FORK DAM;

THE SWEEPING OUT OF THE CONEMAUGH VALLEY; THE OVER-

THROW OF JOHNSTOWN; THE MASSING OF THE WRECK AT

THE RAILROAD BRIDGE; ESCAPES, RESCUES, SEARCHES

FOR SURVIVORS AND THE DEAD; REFIEF

ORGANIZATIONS, STUPENDOUS CHARI-

TIES, ETC., ETC.

WITH FULL ACCOUNTS ALSO OF THE

DESTRUCTION ON THE SUSQUEHANNA AND JUNAIATA RIVERS, AND THE

BALD EAGLE CREEK

BY

WILLIS FLETCHER JOHNSON.

Ê

ILLUSTRATED

EDGEWOOD PUBLISHING CO.,

1889.

Ê

Subject: RE: McGonagall DOES Pennsylvania!!!!
From: maire-aine
Date: 20 Sep 04 - 12:13 AM

Thanks for that info. Last summer I was at a family reunion just north of Johnstown (actually in Nanty Glo). I didn't have a car, but I talked 4 of my cousins into going to see the site where the dam broke, and then to the museum in Johnstown. I'm so glad I went. I'd heard references to it, but this trip really made it real. If you ever get a chance, visit the museum.

Subject: RE: McGonagall DOES Pennsylvania!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 01:28 AM

Holy F**KING Inundation!!!!

I've been reading about the Johnstown Flood in a particularly dramatic and lurid account, which seems to have been written just after the tragedy occurred and it goes on for 24 chapters, each one more harrowing than the last. It goes on and on detailing the horrific destruction of houses, men, women, children, locomotives, houses, streets, factories, bridges, and even cows in the most heartrending terms. Yikes! No wonder McGonagall had to write a poem about this catastrophe.

Here is an excerpt:

"When the South Fork dam gave way, 16,000,000 tons of water rushed down the mountain side, carrying thousands of tons of rocks, logs and trees with it. When the flood reached the Conemaugh Valley it struck the Pennsylvania Railroad at a point where they make up the trains for ascending the Allegheny Mountains. Several trains with their locomotives and loaded cars were swept down the valley before the flood wave, which is said to have been fifty feet high. Cars loaded with iron, cattle, and freight of all kinds, with those mighty locomotives, weighing from seventy to one hundred tons each, were pushed ahead of the flood, trucks and engines rolling over like mere toys.

    "Sixteen milling tons of water gathering fences, barns, houses, mills and shops into its maw. Down the valley for three miles or more rushed this mighty avalanche of death, sweeping everything before it, and leaving nothing but death and destruction behind it. When it struck the railroad bridge at Johnstown, and not being able to force its way through that stone structure, the debris was gorged and the water dammed up fifty feet in ten minutes.

    "This avalanche was composed of more that 100,000 tons of rocks, locomotives, freight cars, car trucks, iron, logs, trees and other material pushed forward by 16,000,000 tons of water falling 500 feet, and it was this that, sliding over the ground, mowed down the houses, mills and factories as a mowing machine does a field of grain. It swept down with a roaring, crushing sound, at the rate of a mile a minute, and hurled 10,000 people into the jaws of death in less than half an hour. And so the people called it the avalanche of death."

Oddly enough, the above account has many repetitive spelling errors in it, such as the word "road" in many places which clearly call for the word "roar" (the roar of the approaching floodcrest). It sounds to me like the writer of this piece got a bit overwrought. I was at first horrified by the piteous personal details of this tale of utter disaster...the children swept away before their horrified parents...the men and women dashed into houses and crushed beneath locomotives and spat out of chasms in vortexes of splattering debris and driven into the riverbed like nails into a coffin...gasp! pant!...but after awhile it all became so overwhelmingly histrionic and repetitive that my emotional centers went numb, I guess, and it started to seem funny. I began chuckling maniacally! God help me, I think I am becoming unhinged, just like the man who wrote this melodramatic account! This was an event MADE for McGonagall. It's a real shame that he was not there to witness it in person.

And here is another excerpt:

The stream of human beings that was swept before the angry floods was something most pitiful to behold. men, women and children were carried along frantically shrieking for help, but their cries availed them nothing. Rescue was impossible. Husbands were swept past their wives, and children were borne along, at a terrible speed, to certain death, before the eyes of their terrorized and frantic parents. Houses, out-buildings, trees and barns were carried on the angry flood of waters as so much chaff. Cattle standing in the fields were overwhelmed, and their carcasses strewed the tide. The railroad tracks converging on the town were washed out, and wires in all directions were prostrated.

    Down through the packsaddle came the running waters. Clinging to improvised rafts, constructed in the death battle from floating boards and timbers, were agonized men, women and children, their heart-rending shrieks for help striking horror to the breasts of the onlookers. Their cries were of no avail. Carried along at a railway speed on the breast of this rushing torrent, no human ingenuity could devise a means of rescue.

    It is impossible to describe briefly the suddenness with which the disaster came. A warning sound was heard at Conemaugh a few minutes before the rush of water came, but it was attributed to some meteorological disturbance, and no trouble was borrowed because of the thing unseen. As the low, rumbling noise increased in volume, however, and came nearer, a suspicion of danger began to force itself even upon the bravest, which was increased to a certainty a few minutes later, when, with a rush, the mighty stream spread out in width, and when there was not time to do anything to save themselves. Many of the unfortunates where whirled into the middle of the stream before they could turn around; men, women and children were struggling in the streets, and it is thought that many of them never reached Johnstown, only a mile or two below.

    At Johnstown a similar scene was enacted, only on a much larger scale. The population is greater and the sweeping whirlpool rushed into a denser mass of humanity. The imagination of the reader can better depict the spectacle than the pen of the writer can give it. It was a twilight of terror, and the gathering shades of evening closed in on a panorama of horrors that has few parallels in the history of casualties."


Geez...I think I need a valium or something. Look, I know it's not the least bit funny, but....Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Omigod, I'm so ashamed. Oh! The grieving widows, the dead pets, the minced lovers, drowned, crushed, and mangled in the incredible tangle of wreckage, wrack, and ruin, burnt up the fires that followed....Ayeeee! Utter madness! I blame McGonagall for the whole thing. He is somehow responsible.

Subject: RE: McGonagall DOES Pennsylvania!!!!
From: Teresa
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 01:48 AM

Just shows to go ... ya never know where the inspiration will come from. :>

I'm going to start thinking of songs that inspired me to study a particular subject. 'Twould make an interesting thread, don'tcha think? ;)

T

Subject: RE: McGonagall DOES Pennsylvania!!!!
From: Joe Offer
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 02:41 AM

Say, have you seen the McGonagall Online Website?
Also take a look at this BBC page, which speaks of the "grand, sweeping awfulness of his works."
Oh, and here's William McGonagall, World's Worst Poet.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: McGonagall DOES Pennsylvania!!!!
From: Teresa
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 02:48 AM

[guffaw]

Hey, Little Hawk, is that your site?;)

I bookmarked it, Joe. So those are the ... folks that will send this ... writing via email every day? Hmmm, fascinating. :D

T

Subject: RE: McGonagall DOES Pennsylvania!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 03:15 AM

Well, by golly, just in case Britons should be feeling a bit jealous of Pennsylvania by now in the disaster department, here is a disaster closer to home that McGonagall has captured in his inimitable form:

The Albion Battleship Calamity

'Twas in the year of 1898, and on the 21st of June,
The launching of the Battleship Albion caused a great gloom,
Amongst the relatives of many persons who were drowned in the River Thames,
Which their relatives will remember while life remains.

The vessel was christened by the Duchess of York,
And the spectators' hearts felt light as cork
As the Duchess cut the cord that was holding the fine ship,
Then the spectators loudly cheered as the vessel slid down the slip.

The launching of the vessel was very well carried out,
While the guests on the stands cheered without any doubt,
Under the impression that everything would go well;
But, alas! instantaneously a bridge and staging fell.

Oh! little did the Duchess of York think that day
That so many lives would be taken away
At the launching of the good ship Albion,
But when she heard of the catastrophe she felt woebegone.

But accidents will happen without any doubt,
And often the cause thereof is hard to find out;
And according to report, I've heard people say,
'Twas the great crowd on the bridge caused it to give way.

Just as the vessel entered the water the bridge and staging gave way,
Immersing some three hundred people which caused great dismay
Amongst the thousands of spectators that were standing there,
And in the faces of the bystanders, were depicted despair.

Then the police boats instantly made for the fatal spot,
And with the aid of dockyard hands several people were got,
While some scrambled out themselves, the best way they could--
And the most of them were the inhabitants of the neighborhood.

Part of them were the wives and daughters of the dockyard hands,
And as they gazed upon them they in amazement stands;
And several bodies were hauled up quite dead.
Which filled the onlookers' hearts with pity and dread.

One of the first rescued was a little baby,
Which was conveyed away to the mortuary;
And several were taken to the fitter's shed, and attended to there
By the firemen and several nurses with the greatest care.

Meanwhile, heartrending scenes were taking place,
Whilst the tears ran down many a Mother and Father's face,
That had lost their children in the River Thames,
Which they will remember while life remains.

Oh, Heaven! it was horrible to see the bodies laid out in rows,
And as Fathers and Mothers passed along, adown their cheeks the tears flows,
While their poor, sickly hearts were throbbing with fear.

A great crowd had gathered to search for the missing dead,
And many strong men broke down because their heart with pity bled,
As they looked upon the distorted faces of their relatives dear,
While adown their cheeks flowed many a silent tear.

The tenderest sympathy, no doubt, was shown to them,
By the kind hearted Police and Firemen;
The scene in fact was most sickening to behold,
And enough to make one's blood run cold,
To see tear-stained men and women there
Searching for their relatives, and in their eyes a pitiful stare.

There's one brave man in particular I must mention,
And I'm sure he's worthy of the people's attention.
His name is Thomas Cooke, of No. 6 Percy Road, Canning Town,
Who's name ought to be to posterity handed down,
Because he leapt into the River Thames and heroically did behave,
And rescued five persons from a watery grave.

Mr. Wilson, a young electrician, got a terrible fright,
When he saw his mother and sister dead-- he was shocked at the sight,
Because his sister had not many days returned from her honeymoon,
And in his countenance, alas! there was a sad gloom.

Her Majesty has sent a message of sympathy to the bereaved ones in distress,
And the Duke and Duchess of York have sent 25 guineas I must confess.
And £1000 from the Directors of the Thames Ironworks and Shipbuilding Company.
Which I hope will hope to fill the bereaved one's hearts with glee.

And in conclusion I will venture to say,
That accidents will happen by night and by day;
And I will say without any fear,
Because to me it appears quite clear,
That the stronger we our houses do build,
The less chance we have of being killed.

Subject: RE: McGonagall DOES Pennsylvania!!!!
From: Teresa
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 03:24 AM

Y'know, it's a pity he didn't have this at his disposal.

T

Subject: RE: McGonagall DOES Pennsylvania!!!!
From: Les from Hull
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 05:01 PM

'Twas in the year of two thousand and four
When Mudcatters sat at their computers the whole world o'er
And took the piss out of the famous poet of the silvery Tay
Which will be remembered for many a day.

Subject: RE: McGonagall DOES Pennsylvania!!!!
From: Joybell
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 08:00 PM

This is the one I got in my mail yesterday. I really like this one.

THE DESTROYING ANGEL OR THE POET'S DREAM by William McGonagall

I dreamt a dream the other night
That an Angel appeared to me, clothed in white.
Oh! it was a beautiful sight,
Such as filled my heart with delight.

And in her hand she held a flaming brand,
Which she waved above her head most grand;
And on me she glared with love-beaming eyes,
Then she commanded me from my bed to arise.

And in a sweet voice she said, "You must follow me,
And in a short time you shall see
The destruction of all the public-houses in the city,
Which is, my friend, the God of Heaven's decree."

Then from my bed in fear I arose,
And quickly donned on my clothes;
And when that was done she said, " Follow me
Direct to the High Street, fearlessly."

So with the beautiful Angel away I did go,
And when we arrived at the High Street, Oh! what a show,
I suppose there were about five thousand men there,
All vowing vengeance against the publicans, I do declare.

Then the Angel cried with a solemn voice aloud
To that vast and Godly assembled crowd,
"Gentlemen belonging the fair City of Dundee,
Remember I have been sent here by God to warn ye.

"That by God's decree ye must take up arms and follow me
And wreck all the public-houses in this fair City,
Because God cannot countenance such dens of iniquity.
Therefore, friends of God, come, follow me.

"Because God has said there's no use preaching against strong drink,
Therefore, by taking up arms against it, God does think,
That is the only and the effectual cure
To banish it from the land, He is quite sure.

"Besides, it has been denounced in Dundee for fifty years
By the friends of Temperance, while oft they have shed tears.
Therefore, God thinks there's no use denouncing it any longer,

Because the more that's said against it seemingly it grows stronger."
And while the Angel was thus addressing the people,
The Devil seemed to be standing on the Townhouse Steeple,
Foaming at the mouth with rage, and seemingly much annoyed,

And kicking the Steeple because the public-houses wore going to be destroyed.
Then the Angel cried, " Satan, avaunt! begone!"
Then he vanished in the flame, to the amazement of everyone;
And waving aloft the flaming brand,
That she carried in her right hand

She cried, "Now, friends of the Temperance cause, follow me:
For remember if's God's high decree
To destroy all the public-houses in this fair City;
Therefore, friends of God, let's commence this war immediately."

Then from the High Street we all did retire,
As the Angel, sent by God, did desire;
And along the Perth Road we all did go,
While the Angel set fire to the public-houses along that row.

And when the Perth Road public-houses were fired, she cried, " Follow me,
And next I'll fire the Hawkhill public-houses instantly."
Then away we went with the Angel, without dread or woe,
And she fired the Hawkhill public-houses as onward we did go.

Then she cried, "Let's on to the Scouringburn, in God's name."
And away to the Scouringburn we went, with our hearts aflame,
As the destroying Angel did command.
And when there she fired the public-houses, which looked very grand.

And when the public-houses there were blazing like a kiln,
She cried, " Now, my friends, we'll march to the Bonnet Hill,
And we'll fire the dens of iniquity without dismay,
Therefore let's march on, my friends, without delay."

And when we arrived at the Bonnet Hill,
The Angel fired the public-houses, as she did well.
Then she cried, "We'll leave them now to their fate,
And march on to the Murraygate."

Then we marched on to the Murraygate,
And the Angel fired the public-houses there, a most deserving fate.
Then to the High Street we marched and fired them there,
Which was a most beautiful blaze, I do declare.

And on the High Street, old men and women were gathered there,
And as the flames ascended upwards, in amazement they did stare
When they saw the public-houses in a blaze,
But they clapped their hands with joy and to God gave praise.

Then the Angel cried, "Thank God, Christ's Kingdom's near at hand,
And there will soon be peace and plenty throughout the land,
And the ravages of the demon Drink no more will be seen."
But, alas, I started up in bed, and behold it was a dream!

Subject: RE: McGonagall DOES Pennsylvania!!!!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 08:32 PM

This stuff is almost as good as "The Wolves of Willoughby(SP?) Chase" or "Tarzan on Mars."

Keep it up,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: McGonagall DOES Pennsylvania!!!!
From: Joybell
Date: 22 Sep 04 - 08:43 PM

McGonagall may have done "Tarzan on Mars", Charley. You never know with him. I don't visit his site since I started having him delivered a poem at a time by email. It gives you a chance to savour the beauty of his work. Joy