BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested

Subject: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 12:07 PM

(just in case you missed this..xx..e)


Wednesday, October 6th, 2004
Republicans, Out of Ideas, Ask Prosecutors to Arrest Michael Moore


10/6/04

Dear Friends,

You may have heard by now that the Michigan Republican Party has called for my arrest. That's right. They literally want me brought up on charges -- and hope that I'm locked up.

No, I'm not kidding. The Republican Party, yesterday, filed a criminal complaint with the prosecutors in each of the counties where I spoke last week in Michigan.

My crime? Clean underwear for anyone who will vote in the upcoming election.

Each night on our 60-city "Slacker Uprising Tour" through the 20 battleground states, I've been registering hundreds (and on some nights, thousands) of voters at my arena and stadium events. I then ask for everyone over 23 who has never voted (or didn't vote in the last election) to stand up. I tell these slackers that I understand and respect why they think politicians are not worth the bother. I tell them that I may have been the original slacker, and that I do not want them to change their slacker ways. Keep sleeping 'til noon! Keep drinking beer! Stay on the sofa and watch as much TV as possible! But, please, just for me, on 11/2, I want you to leave the house and give voting a try -- just this once. The stakes this time are just too high.

If they promise me that they'll do this, I give the guys a 3-pack of new Fruit of the Loom underwear, and the women get a day's supply of Ramen noodles, the sustenance of slackers everywhere.

I then close by having them repeat the 2004 Slacker Oath: "Pick nose! Pick butt! Pick Kerry."

It seems to have worked, as each night the volunteer tables are swamped afterwards with hundreds of new and young voters signing up to campaign for regime change for the next four weeks.

The satire of all this seems to have been lost on the Republicans. Or maybe it hasn't. The state of Michigan (where we spent most of last week) reported that over 100,000 young people recently registered to vote, a record that no one saw coming. The Slacker Tour has turned into a huge steamroller with a momentum all its own.

So, the Republican Party, to show their gratitude that so many young people will now be involved in our system, has demanded that I be sent to jail for trying to "bribe" students to vote.

Of course, this would be quite laughable if they weren't so serious about their charges. But they are. I may soon be a wanted man in Michigan -- simply because I convinced a few slackers to change their underwear and eat a healthy meal of artificially flavored noodles.

I thought I'd seen it all this year -- Disney refusing to distribute the film they paid for, right-wingers harassing theater owners who showed "Fahrenheit 9/11," conservative action groups trying to get the FEC to kick our film ads off the air, the unnecessary restrictive R-rating that forced teenagers to sneak in to see it, and all the stupid, crazy attacks on me and my movie that I've had to listen to as I watched the public ignore them and pack the movie houses anyway, where my film was being shown. And when all that failed, five different Republican groups made five different attack dog tapes (oops, "documentaries"!) against me in a period of about six weeks. But they were all so bad, so boring, so right-wing, no one wanted to watch them and they too went away, a sad waste of good videotape.

Now, after enduring all this, with no tricks left in their bag, they've just decided, "Let's toss his sorry ass behind bars -- him and his noodles and his gift of clean underwear!"

My friends, they will not catch me. Though I may be on the run, and I may never be able to return home to my beloved Michigan, I make this solemn vow to you and yours: The slackers of America shall not be denied their noodles, they will proudly wear their clean underwear as free Americans, and they will vote Bush out of office come November 2nd (though they will not show up to the polls until well after noon)!

Stay strong, stay slacker, and please remember to turn the underwear inside out every three days. As for the noodles, add boiling water, stir.

Yours,

Michael Moore
[e-mail]
www.michaelmoore.com

P.S. My favorite moment of the VP debate: Cheney saying to the moderator that this was the first he heard that that many black women in America had AIDS. Clueless. Cheney, for an entire 90-minutes, only mentioned Bush's name -- that's his running mate, the "president" -- once. They should have called this the "President (Cheney) -- Vice President (Edwards) Debate."

P.P.S. Tomorrow's letter, as promised for today, will be about my new book, "Will They Ever Trust Us Again?: Letters from the War Zone." And thanks, everyone, for sending "Fahrenheit 9/11" on its first day to #1 on Amazon. If you find that your store didn't order enough copies, or to report other problems, please e-mail Sony Home video at [e-mail].

Subject: RE: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: Once Famous
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 12:20 PM

Man is he fat.

Subject: RE: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: Mudlark
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 12:38 PM

Man, is he GREAT. Articulate, positive, motivating; wisdom and wit a rare combination....what a piece of work is Michael Moore. Thanks for posting, EllenPoly. What a great way to start the day.

Subject: RE: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: Don Firth
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 01:05 PM

If you are determined to rule the world no matter what you have to do (such as run the First Amendment throught the shredder and try to incarcerate those who practice free speech), the first requirement is that you have to have your sense of humor amputated. Although what Michael Moore is doing is the height of patriotism in a democracy (encouraging people to participate in the system), I can see why the right-wing is flapping so wildly.

Michael Moore may be a slob, but he's my kind of slob! Give 'em hell, Michael!!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: Cluin
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 01:09 PM

I greatly respect Michael Moore for his art and ideals. He's doing a great job. But you have to admit he is fat. Just like Rush Limbaugh was fat.

How about a book: "Michael Moore is a big fat Non-Idiot, and Other Observations"?

Then again, Limbaugh asked for it; Franken's insult was prompted by Rush's unprovoked childish insults about Chelsea Clinton.

Subject: RE: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 01:22 PM

"the right-wing is flapping so wildly." Great phrase, Don Firth.

Subject: RE: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 01:40 PM

OK, so what would you all say if Arnold Schwarzenagger went all over the US, to college campuses, campaigning for Bush/Cheney, and offered free Addidas shoes to everyone who said they will vote.

My question is this--is what Moore is doing legal? If it isn't legal, he has just shot himself and Kerry/Edwards in the foot.

Hell, in this climate, even if what he is doing doesn't violate campaign laws, it certainly may backfire, based upon appearances.

Is that a chance everyone is willing to take? For both sides?

Subject: RE: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 02:02 PM

I had got the impression that criticising people for being fat was an un-American thing to do, the kind of stuff you'd get from lily-livered pinkoes who blaspheme against McDonalds.

Subject: RE: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 02:06 PM

Wrong. It is an everyday affair to mock the obese. Happens nightly on Leno's Tonight Show and Conan O'Brien's show especially.

Overweight people take a LOT of shit in American society.

Subject: RE: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: open mike
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 02:10 PM

hey! equal time! I want underwear too.
i do not care for ramen noodles...
unless Westbrae organic vegetarian...
with tofu.

Subject: RE: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: Amos
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 02:18 PM

It is perfectly legal for him to offer them an incentive to vote.

But he can't pay them for voting one way or another. The Republicans will try to imply he is doing this.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: artbrooks
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 02:18 PM

Seems to me that registering people to vote, without putting any restrictions at all on who they vote for, is patriotism at its finest. This is true whether it is Mr. Moore or Mr. Swartzenegger. I make no claim to be an expert on election law, but the specific giveaway seems irrelevant, as long as it is of nominal value...and the last I heard "nominal value" was considered to be $25 or less as far as US Federal law was concerned.

Subject: RE: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 02:20 PM

what is making the right wing flap..(doesn't thay make you fly in circles?) is that Moore is making his 'bribe' public and funny, rather than furtive and disguised like THEY know it should be done. At least Moore is not trying to DIS-enfranchise rich Republicans by threatening folks who drive Lexuses and Mercedes and purging the rolls of anyone who outsourced jobs in the last 4 years..*grin*

Subject: RE: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: Don Firth
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 02:38 PM

There's a substantial difference between a cup of Ramen noodles (Maruchan Instant Lunch, $0.39) and a pair of Adidas ($60.00 to $125.00).

Moore's schtick is a joke. The Schwarzenegger thing you postulate could constitute a bribe.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: Peace
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 04:09 PM

Why would they want to bust a guy for getting people into clean underwear? Maybe for getting people into noodles: that I could understand, but not clean underwear. Get real.

Subject: RE: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: pdq
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 04:52 PM

If Michael Moore is giving out undies, he should give himself a pair of panty hose, put them on his fat head, and start yelling "prisoner abuse".

Then he should hire Edwards to represent him, apply for political asylum and move to Afghanistan!

Subject: RE: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 05:35 PM

Martin Gibson said:

Michael Moore is a fat slob.

It's hard to argue with that, and I won't.

He's also a brilliant, effective, patriotic fat slob!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: Once Famous
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 05:42 PM

He's also a multi-millionaire fat slob.

Subject: RE: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 05:50 PM

Well, I don't care about the size of his waistline or his wallet. He is a great filmmaker, and doing a great job of firing up the base, even if I think he is doing some questionable stuff like this. I mean, why risk this kind of rancor so close to such a volatile election? As much as I love Michael Moore, I'm beginning to wish more and more (as I cringe when I hear of his antics) he'd have stayed out of the election this year once the film was out and the conventions were over.

Why give the right wing nut jobs MORE ammunition to shoot at Kerry/Edwards with?

Subject: RE: BS: Republicans trying to get Moore arrested
From: Once Famous
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 05:53 PM

Because he is as big a target as can be.

He really does not represent mainstream America.

He is loudmouth Hollywood to many.