BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....

Subject: BS: There's gold in that litter tray....
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 14 Oct 04 - 07:52 PM

A new business opportunity! Check the litter tray contents. Maybe I'll just forget the beans and use the pooh to make the mother in law a nice cup of coffee!

Now I have just got to work out a way of force feeding the cats the beans.



Manila - A small Philippine company is combining commerce with conservation by offering one of the world's most prized coffees - made from the beans found in the droppings of the civet cat.

The product, known as "Coffee Alamid", after the local name of the wild animal, is being sold in a few local shops but may soon be exported, the owner of the Bote Central company said on Wednesday.

The blend uses coffee beans processed through the digestive system of the vulnerable Philippine civet, a small, cat-like nocturnal mammal closely related to the mongoose.

The beans, which are swallowed and passed out whole by the animal, are gathered from droppings found at the farm.

The product sells for 3 500 pesos (about R350) per kilogram.

Coffee from beans found in civet droppings in Vietnam has gained a reputation among connoisseurs as among the best in the world. A similar product is sold in Indonesia.

Vie Reyes, owner and sales manager of Bote Central, said the Trade Department and the International Coffee Board were certifying the company's bean-droppings as genuine and the Netherlands was interested in bringing the product to Europe.

Reyes, whose group is involved in preserving native sugar palm, was surprised to discover farmers in the Philippines have long been making coffee from the beans in local civet droppings.

Her company, with the help of non-government organisations, is working on a programme that would train certain farmers to gather the beans, Reyes said.

This will help in the conservation of the civet which has been made "vulnerable" but not yet endangered by destruction of its habitat and because it is being hunted for its meat.

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Oct 04 - 07:54 PM

The UK already sells this under the name, "Happy Shopper."

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Peace
Date: 14 Oct 04 - 08:05 PM

Gives new meaning to the expression, "Business has been the shits."

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Oct 04 - 08:09 PM

I often get told my coffee tastes like a cat has just s**t in it.

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: mack/misophist
Date: 14 Oct 04 - 09:07 PM

In the US it's called "Starbuck's".

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 05:17 AM

Poor old civet. Not content with using bits of it in the perfume industry, now they want to rifle through its natural functions in the cause of gourmands!

At least this latest development means the civet has to be alive.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: GUEST,Mingulay
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 06:14 AM

Does it work with ordinary cat shit, if so there's plenty where I live as well as dog and fox. All you need to do is freeze dry it, grind up small and put into expensive packaging. Just add hot water, sugar and milk to taste. I see a business opportunity here for all sorts of natural products such as cat shit coffee, eau de canal toilet water, fallen leaf tea etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: GUEST,Keith A o Hertford
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 06:45 AM

Quaint little rustic craft needs to be brought up to date for the global market.
We need broiler houses full of thousands of battery civets being force fed beans until they explode.
A tea man myself.

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Peace
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 10:20 AM

Gives new meaning to the term, "Get yer shit together."

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: GUEST,Mingulay
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 10:44 AM

Are we talking about the civets or the beans exploding, or both?

Could you do the same with skwi, sqirue, tree rodents and acorns thus producing ersatz coffee.

Actually, Brucie, the less together the shit is the easier it is to sort out the beans (so I'm told).

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Amos
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 10:50 AM

Where you guys been? Bean? This story was used as the basis for a song challenge by our perspicacious and insightful Gaelic Goddess a couple of years ago!!

Here's the June 2001 thread with all the songs in it.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 07:28 PM

Actually, why bother with the civet cat... just get a goat or sheep.. their poop even LOOKS the part without all this having to extract the bean and grind it up....

LTS - yes, I used to live on a farm so that's how I know what sheep poop looks like....

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: frogprince
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 07:37 PM

This is not a sick joke; sick, yes, but not made up as a joke; the one biggest family in our farm neigborhood were all ...uh..at least 2nd generation intellectually and culturally "challanged"; the mother of the house once told us that one of her mother's standard home remedies for a sick child was "nannie ball tee". We are talkin' about just what it sounds like...

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: frogprince
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 07:38 PM

Excet it's spelled "tea", of course...

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Teresa
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 08:00 PM

So as that the "non-commercial" way all mocha beans are "processed"? Interesting. They're my favorite. :-P

T

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 08:15 PM

It would give a whole new take on those nauseating Gold Blend ads........

Dashing chap knocks on the door, negligee'd up blonde opens the door.
    "Excuse me I'm your new neighbour, hope you don't mind me calling, but I'm right out of coffee and just wondered if your cat has had a crap I could borrow?".

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Peace
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 08:18 PM

"Excuse me, ma'am. May I squeeze your pussy?"

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 08:20 PM

Do they use real clean living cats for de-caff. The sort who are always in bed with a good book by ten?

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 08:23 PM

My cats are just not cooperating, wont swallow the beans, will now try a funnel in the mouth.

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Peace
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 08:24 PM

Oh, I just realized what I said. Excuse me.

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 08:25 PM

No! Don't do it. Things are never that bad.

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Seaking
Date: 16 Oct 04 - 01:57 PM

So the cats are on a permanent caffeine fix then. Whats the bet they they don't sleep, are easily stressed and shout at the kittens a lot. They'll have them on cigarettes next - smoked coffee beans anyone ?

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Les from Hull
Date: 16 Oct 04 - 03:36 PM

Anybody want to buy a rat shit screwdriver?

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 16 Oct 04 - 03:55 PM

Sounds a bit dangerous & 'caustic' to me, passing through a Civet....

Best handled with Asbestos gloves, I'd have thought....

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Les from Hull
Date: 16 Oct 04 - 04:03 PM

And if you haven't got asbestos gloves? (take it away, kid...)

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 16 Oct 04 - 04:13 PM

That was quick mate!

ALL TOGETHER:

...." Then you will have to do AS BEST AS you can without them!"

BADOOM -TISH!

These are the jokes, folks!

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 16 Oct 04 - 10:17 PM

If Starbucks start serving this stuff will it be a large mogca!

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Peace
Date: 16 Oct 04 - 10:19 PM

Are the beans still good if the cat pukes them out?

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 16 Oct 04 - 10:26 PM

Just plucked this from the WWW, not the litter tray.

Some intersting comments on flavour and aroma!

You actually had me taste this?
By Karyn Miller
(Filed: 17/10/2004)

At £12 per ounce, Kopi Luwak is the rarest and most expensive coffee in the world, but could a drink made out of cat droppings possibly be to everyone's taste?

   
Civet Coffee: 'disgusting'
After the disclosure last week that the world's most luxurious coffee is produced via the intestines of the Indonesian civet cat, connoisseurs and regular coffee drinkers assembled to test whether its flavour is really so superior. One of the first participants in the experiment, conducted at the Bramah Museum of Tea and Coffee in London, was Denise Basso, a 32-year-old designer. She was told only that she was tasting the world's most expensive coffee and was, naturally, grateful for the opportunity.

"Is that its natural flavour? It's really nice and sweet," she said, smiling happily.

When given its provenance, however, Ms Basso's expression fell and her complexion gained a greenish tinge. She pulled on her coat and fled hurriedly, looking more than a little queasy.

Silvia Civiero, 26, a shop assistant, looked close to tears when she was told that her coffee beans had been plucked from dung. "You actually had me taste this," she spluttered. "No more, thank you."

Clearly she was not seduced by Kopi Luwak's exotic-sounding name. Luwak is the native word for the Indonesian palm civet, which likes to feed on crimson Sumatran coffee berries. When it excretes the seeds, or beans, these are cleaned thoroughly and prepared for drinking.

Another of those present at the tasting was Todd Dalton, whose food company, Edible, is the sole British supplier of the coffee. He described the flavour as "chocolatey, with undertones of molasses and tobacco. It appeals to adventurous types - those who have seen a bit of the world", he said.

Among the other connoisseurs who agreed to test the coffee was Jeremy Torz, the roastmaster at Union Coffee Roasters, a speciality coffee mail order company. "Kopi Luwak has a curiosity value, but no coffee could be worth that much money. I tasted it once before - it had a gamey flavour," he said.

Giles Hilton, the coffee buyer for Whittard's, confided: "You don't know what else the animal has eaten at the same time. You know that civets eat rats and voles too."

Edward Bramah, the founder of the Bramah museum, said nothing, but looked mildly pained. This was a blind tasting. The Kopi Luwak was lined up with five other coffee varieties: Kenyan, Lyons Original Blend, Nicaraguan, Guatemalan and Aged Sulawesi. The panel insisted that the tasting proceed "properly". The coffee grounds were put into porcelain bowls, covered with boiling water and topped up with more water.

Jeremy Torz sniffed the dry Kopi Luwak grounds. "This smells stale to me. Like a cardboard box. What we'll get is a lot of body, a lot of weight and very low acidity. Acidity is like the crispness in a fresh white wine: a tingle around the edge of the tongue."

The coffee, ready for tasting, was ladled from the bowls, rinsed around mouths and ejected into a gold-coloured cuspidor. The Kopi Luwak was correctly identified by all the panel members. Unfortunately, the professional trio were underwhelmed. Jeremy Torz said: "I wouldn't buy it. All the flavours are compressed into a musky flavour. It isn't a clean flavour."

Giles Hilton cast a disapproving look at the offending bowl. "It should be renamed 'double chocolate truffle'. It tastes like flavoured coffee. I'm a purist - I don't like flavoured coffees."

"It tastes like Earl Grey," said Mr Bramah, glumly.

Todd Dalton opined that the rich, sweet flavour would complement alcoholic desserts, but Mr Hilton was unconvinced. "I couldn't drink that after a meal."

The honey-toned Aged Sulawesi coffee - which is also from Indonesia, but is subjected to a more conventional production process - won their vote.

Mr Dalton, though, was unmoved by the panel's conclusions. "I don't care when people say it is disgusting. Others tell me it is the nicest coffee they have ever tasted."

It is certainly true that Kopi Luwak is accumulating a fashionable reputation in Britain. Edible distributes almost 140lb of the world's annual yield via Selfridges and its mail order website: £24 buys a 2oz pouch.

Last week it was revealed that Professor Massimo Massone, a food scientist at the University of Guelph in Canada, had discovered the secret of the coffee's taste. He examined the excreted beans under an electron microscope to discover that their surfaces had been "exfoliated" by the civet cats' gastric acids. The beans' proteins had been partly broken down as a result. The coffee's unusual taste, he confirmed, was a direct result of its passage through the civet cat's digestive tract.

In the museum's bustling coffee shop, unsuspecting customers who were given Kopi Luwak to sample supplied mixed verdicts. Paul Niles, 39, the coffee shop manager, was surprised to discover that the coffee was "quite palatable".

Collette Frittelli, 28, a doctor, said: "It's not for me, but at least it doesn't taste of manure."

Monika Wentowska, 22, a waitress who grew up in Poland, declared herself a fan. "I like this, because it reminds me of home. In Poland, we have a similar-tasting drink, made from roasted wheat." When told about the coffee's origins, she declined the offer of a second cup.

Singo Kawahara, 25, and Yusuke Sakai, 28, two bar workers from Japan, couldn't understand why others were making such a fuss. They sipped the coffee in silence and praised its agreeable aroma.

Mario Venturi, 38, described the taste as "smoky, bitter and rather nice, really". Would he buy some? "No. There are plenty of cheaper coffees that haven't come from an animal's rear end."

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Peace
Date: 16 Oct 04 - 10:46 PM

I wonder if there is a fund-raising possibility here for the Mudcat? Get your favourite catters to swallow some coffee beans, harvest them at the appropriate time and then sell it off in four-ounce bags (or something like that).

Naming the products could be fun. "Bush-lovers Blend" or "Just What IS Folkmusic Surprise" or "A Little Down Under from Down Under". Maybe something like, "British Blend (for a Stiff Upper Lip)" and possibly a mixture of the product from Kerry/Nader/Bush lovers: "BS in a Cup".

This is but the germ of an idea. Sorry for the thread drift.

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Oct 04 - 03:03 AM

Just goes to prove that if you slap a big enough price tag on anything, then poseuring morons with more money than braincells will happily buy it, even if it IS shit.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Give the cat another squeeze.....
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 17 Oct 04 - 03:34 AM

I've known about this coffee for ages, and even had a chance to taste it once. It was quite nice, but not worth the exorbitent price (which I hadn't paid as I was at a friend's house).

But come on guys, for those of you who drink milk from a cow, or eat goat or sheep cheese and yoghurt, and eat veggies that have been grown in fertilizer, and eat any kind of eggs, you've been putting some pretty interesting things into your gob that made it's passage through some other animals' passages first.

Civit cats are mean creatures. If you get a scratch from one, which another friend of mine did, and ended up in the hospital close to death from his experience, you'll be happy it can at least contribute something as fine as a good, if expensive cup of java.

..xx..e