A Thank you For Good Friends

Subject: A Thank you For Good Freinds
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 11:30 AM

Good friends should never be taken for granted. They come in all sizes, flavors and sexes. They are gifts that "keep on giving," as the somewhat trite phrase says. The don't come with warning labels of Christian, Muslim, gay, straight, Republican or Democrat. I'd just like to offer up thanks for the good people in my life.

Here's a good mix to start with, with many more to follow:

Art Thieme: How could I put Art anywhere but at the head of my list?
Our friendship goes back to an unexpected book on Wisconsin Folk Songs that arrived in the mail over 30 years ago from Art. Art says we talked together briefly at a Folk Legacy Festival in the late 60's, but he wasn't much more than a name when I received the book. I was very touched that Art would buy the book and send it to me when I was just this side of being a total stranger to him. He warned me in the note he sent that he didn't write letters. A thousand letters later, it was clear that he had misjudged himself. Art and I used to share a night at the Cafe Carpe in Fort Atkinson, Wisconsin for many years, and I was there the night he did his last concert, ready to step in if he needed any help. And of course, he didn't.

Art and I have exchanged Christmas cards and gifts for all these years, despite the fact that Art is an Athiest and I am a Christian.
We loved and respected each other for who we are, and still do.

Pasha - Pasha is my son. Never mind that he was born of Ruth, my second wife, is black and Muslim. The first Christmas I spent with Ruth, Pasha brought a cassette of Glen Miller for this white guy his Mother was going out with. He wanted me to feel welcome. What he didn't know was that I have a love (and a collection to match) for rhythm and blues and soul music that at least equals his. Over the years, we've worked side by side on construction projects at our home, singing the old r&b hits, with him singing tenor, and me holding down the bass line. Pasha is always there for us, and his sister, who is a Bpatist minister. We enjoy his commitment to the Muslim faith, and he enjoys ours to Christianity. When he eats with us, we lift up a common prayer to Allah and God.

Jimmyt: Jimmyt is one of my favorite catters. I love his generosity of spirit and his inherent kindness and although we've never met, I believe that we will. We share a love for the old rhythm and blues and I greatly appreciate the warmth and humor he brings here. He is a wonderful, caring, generous, giving, Conservative Republican. Nobody is perfect. But, Jimmy gives it as good a shot as any.

brucie: I could be sitting in the same room as brucie and never know it. He hasn't posted a photo on the Cat, and the only picture I have of him was taken back when he was in his twenties. Brucie has been through some MAJOR stuff this year. He made an off-hand comment in a thread, and I PMd to give him a little encouragement. That was the start of a cyber friendship I really value. If you didn't know what brucie was going through, you never would have realized it through his contributions to the cat. He brings a warm, modest sense of humor to us all and helps to remind us that some things we talk about in here aren't really as serious as we sometimes make them out to be.
Does brucie believe in God? Got me. Is he a Christian? I never thought of checking. He's not a Republican or Democrat, because he is Canadian. How in the world can you decide who to hate, if there aren't Republicans and Democrats? Friends aren't Christians or Muslims or Atheists. They;re just friends. How they vote has very little to do with the friendship. Friends are people you enjoy and respect. You connect with them on a level that has nothing to do with labels or how long you've known them. There is an instant bond formed between two people who are just trying to get along, and are looking out for others as much as they can.

That's four... I haven't even scratched the surface... there's Bobert and Khandu and (((((((((((Sorcha))))))))))))))) and KT and freda underhill and ColK, Leadfingers, Sussex Carole, Bert, C-Flat and far too many to even list. They are all gifts in my life and I am thankful for them, every day.

Your turn..

Jerry

Subject: RE: A Thank you For Good Freinds
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 03:03 PM

The wonderful thing is, Jerry, I know that you'd say that at any time of year, not just at Christmas when we're "expected" to be schmaltzy and nice about each other....

My list is much smaller than yours but has one or two of the same people.... and for much the same reasons.

Thank you Jerry.

(((X)))

LTS

Subject: RE: A Thank you For Good Freinds
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 08:58 PM

Jerry:

I do believe you're right. Thanks for the reminder.



A

Subject: RE: A Thank you For Good Freinds
From: Sorcha
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 11:14 PM

Jerry, you are VERY right...and I dasn't name names because I'd forget someone. I love you all!

Subject: RE: A Thank you For Good Freinds
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 01:52 AM

Jerry,

Ditto.

And the same to some of you as well. (You know who you are, I'm sure.)

Art

Subject: RE: A Thank you For Good Freinds
From: MBSLynne
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 03:57 AM

Me too...all of it. I've been a Mudcat member for a year or so and in that time I've probably doubled or trebled my friends (now I've got 3! lol!) I'm really looking forward to next week when I get to meet a whole bunch of them! I already feel as though I've known them (you) for years. I've always felt myself incredibly lucky to have the number of really good friends that I have; to have so many more is probably more than I deserve! Thank the Godess for you all

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: A Thank you For Good Freinds
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 04:33 AM

Those comment are lovely to see, having just come from the Hesperis/divorce thread. True friendship is a wonderful thing.
Best wishes.

Subject: RE: A Thank you For Good Freinds
From: Polly Squeezebox
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 05:57 AM

Treasure your friends - and let them know it. I go to a weekly dancing event and always met up there with somebody very special. Joan was a wonderful dancer, who loved to sing along to the music as she danced. Always had a good, kind word for everybody and made wonderful conversation. A highlight of my week was meeting with her. I attended the dance in Melksham, Wiltshire, last night and learned that she and her husband were murdered early this week - no apparent reason. I am devastated. but feel privileged to have known her, and resolve in future to let friends know how I value them in my life.

Subject: RE: A Thank you For Good Freinds
From: Pistachio
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 06:53 AM

I know your names but not your faces, your thoughts echo some of mine
Be sure to tell your friends you love them, remember over space and time
The 'friends I don't yet know' on Mudcat fill the ether with their stuff
Thoughts and trials and tribulations from the heart and with real love

Last year I found a thread of sorrow, Byrons' death made me feel pain
I never knew him nor his Allison but I feel we've shared the same
Experiences, pain and sorrow. Grief and sadness never go
but friends are a true comfort, don't forget to let them know.
Hazel.

Polly, what shocking news for you and all your dancing friends.It's all so hard to understand. Bset wishes.

Jerry, thanks for this thread. I resolve to say more freely what I feel.

Mudcat has been so huggable for me.

Liz - hope my verse isn't too 'schmalzy' I find I say things better in rhyme otherwise I go on and on ....
-----------------------------The End---------------------------------

Subject: RE: A Thank you For Good Freinds
From: freda underhill
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 07:23 AM

thank you Jerry. Jerry and i have been through some similar stuff in our lives.

as well as Jerry, i have some close friends in the Cat - and only one of them is someone i see regularly in the "other" world. I also have a good friend who is a catter, but we only communicate via talk, not type. as usual there are some women i am close to, and we talk in exactly the same way women do everywhere. and i have a close male cyber buddy - i value his honesty and humour, tho i cant seem to discipline him much (nurse ratched - where are you when i need you?). and a few other mates, people i can talk to as if we were just sitting round the living room.

i am leaving my home on the weekend and going to work in another city. mudcat will provide some continuity as i have to start all over again, once more.

yes, thank you guys.

Subject: RE: A Thank you For Good Freinds
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 10:44 AM

I knew a guy who worked for me, many years ago. He was kind of a sleezeball in many ways and very dishonest (I had to fire him.) A few years later, he was caught embezzeling funds and ended up in prison.
Not someone you'd think of as soft-hearted or sentimental. He left a wife and two young kids to make it on their own.

That said, he told me once that if he could trade five years of his life for one hour with his Father, he'd gladly do it. His Father died without his ever having a chance to tell him that he loved him, and that would end up gnawing on him for the rest of his life.

A few years ago, there was a wonderful man who was on the Board Of Directors at the Museum where I worked. He was an amzing man.. all the modesty and warmth of a Frank Capra character. When he retired from the Board, I wrote him a long letter, telling him how much I respected, admired and loved him. He died very shortly after that. When his family was going through his "effects" they came across the letter. They told me at his funeral, how much the letter meant to my friend, and just as importantly, how much it meant to them in their mourning.

And then, I think of my Father who was of the old school. If my Mother complained because he never told her he loved her, he'dsay "I don't have to say I love you... I mowed the lawn (or took out the garbage or whatever recent chore he'd done) didn't I?" Showing appreciation and love through actions puts "your money where your mouth is." But that's not an adequate substitute for telling someone that you care about them. Late in life, I think my Father realized that. And told my Mother he loved her, on occasion.

And he took out the garbage until the day he died.

Jerry

Subject: RE: A Thank you For Good Freinds
From: jimmyt
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 03:04 PM

This thread is very nice and comes at a time of year when many of us reflect on the good things, the great people and the positive in the world. I am flattered that Jerry would mention me by name. I guess from being the last one picked for the basketball team I am always thrilled by someone who says something nice to me or about me. Jerry is one of a kind but the entire mudcat family is very special to me, and I would guess to most of us who wander in here daily to see who is around and who is playing nice and who isn't.

I just had an 84 year old black lady in my office this morning for a filling in her tooth. I know she is on a very limited income and idid it and sent a note to the front desk that it was no charge. She was so delighted and moved by the kindness that I came by and she grabbed me and said "Dr. Todd, have you ever been hugged by a black woman before?" SHe had tears in her eyes, and so did I. I have a feeling that may be the neatest present I get this Christmas, that hug from that wonderful black woman. Just thought I would pass this on because it has made my day much like Jerry has done more than once in the past! Happy holidays, all of you!

Subject: RE: A Thank you For Good Freinds
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 04:24 PM

That's a wonderful story, Jimmy. I know that it isn't out of the ordinary for you to be generous to your patients. I'm surprised you get any dentistry accomplished with all the hugs you deserve.

Like others who have posted here, I can't even begin to talk about all the people I enjoy on the Cat. Some, like Sussez Carole and ColK, I've had the extreme pleasure to meet when they came over last year. I'm hoping to meet them again next year, as well as Crane Driver and my good buddy Leadfingers.

I'm fortunate to have Barbara and Frank Shaw, bbc, Sandy & Caroline Paton, dw ditty and a few others nearby, and all the wonderful Catters in the D.C. area. When you come up here, Jimmy, we'll see if we cram a bunch of them into our house, along with the Messengers.

You're talking major hugs, man!

Jerry

Subject: RE: A Thank you For Good Freinds
From: LilyFestre
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 06:18 PM

There's a special woman here at Mudcat that I'd like to say she has become a friend...but perhaps she would be more comfortable if I said she is someone who I look up to a bit and have come to trust. We've scuffled in the past and have gotten beyond that....she has been a tremendous help to me this year when I was absolutely devasted by the loss of our "daughter" and even now when the roller coaster has begun again, she's there with a steady hand letting me know what's what.....even when I do something stupid. She's straight forward with me and I appreciate that...let's me get to what's important instead of wading through all kinds of sugary goo. I tell her thank you fairly often for her help but she insists that it isn't her that's helping but other things.

Likely it would have been much easier for her to just write me off....but she didn't. She came through for me when I was pretty sure I didn't deserve anything from her, not even the time of day.

So, Susan....thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt. I am grateful for that and I am most certainly grateful for you. And um, squirm all you want, but I do think of you as my friend. :)

Michelle

Subject: RE: A Thank you For Good Freinds
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 05:39 PM

"How in the world can you decide who to hate, if there aren't Republicans and Democrats?"

I really love that. Thanks, Jerry for another thread like this, the ones that remind us what it's really about.

I was in a room yesterday singing with a bunch of people, most of whom I think got to know each other through the Mudcat, even the ones who might have run into each oither in other ways already, and we were there with jacqui and Kendall, on a visit over here,after getting married, thanks entirely to the Mudcat really.

Good place, the Mudcat. Well worth putting up with the occasional pitfalls and pratfalls.

Subject: RE: A Thank you For Good Freinds
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 06:54 AM

I can't begin to list the good friends I've found here. During the blackest periods of my life they've been a literal support- when my co-workers, for instance, ask me, "how do you keep on going like you do?" I say, I'm carried by a world-wide band of loving thoughts and prayers. Thanks, dear friends. And thanks again for the good wishes I'm feeling again during another high-stress time.

Allison