BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 17 Jun 05 - 04:59 AM

OH, well held Sir!

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 05 - 07:28 AM

Bruce, it was from the late (and missed) Little John Cameron that I acquired a taste for rambling on in quasi-Scots dialect. I find it very amusing for some reason. I have been encountering a lot of lovely women recently for some reason...I don't exactly know why that is, but I'm not complaining...

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 Jun 05 - 08:35 AM

Little Hawk,
How insensitive...any ewes reading this thread will feel dreadfully rejected. How could you be so insensitive to the needs of the poor sheep. I am horrified!
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Jun 05 - 10:12 AM

"I have been encountering a lot of lovely women recently for some reason..."

Do they get a far-away look in their eyes? Do they seem to stare off into the distance? Do they get that 'deer in the headlights' look? You wanna know why?




































They are tryin' to figure out what the hell you're sayin'!

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: GUEST,brucie
Date: 17 Jun 05 - 10:13 AM

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: GUEST,brucie
Date: 17 Jun 05 - 11:33 AM

Both above posts by me.

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 05 - 02:36 PM

I know why, man! I know.

I was at the restaurant again today, and I got her name. Megan. Mmmmmmm.

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: susu
Date: 17 Jun 05 - 03:21 PM

Mary had a little lamb
A little pork
A little ham...

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 17 Jun 05 - 09:33 PM

Mary had a little lamb
The doctors were astounded!

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 05 - 09:44 PM

Mary had a little lamb
Then the little lamb had Mary.

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: GUEST,bobad
Date: 17 Jun 05 - 10:22 PM

Mary had a little lamb
Boy was she surprised

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Jun 05 - 04:06 AM

Mary had a bicycle, the spokes were made of brass,
and every time she turned the wheel, the spokes went up her skirt.

Mary had a little lamb, it was so very silly.
It tried to jump the garden gate and landed on its
Willy was a bulldog, lying in the grass
Along came a buzzy bee and stung him up the
Ask no questions, I'll tell no lies,
Ever seen a Chinaman doing up his
Flies are a nuisance, wasps are worse,
This is the end of my naughty little verse!

Ah, memories of the school cloakroom where I first learned this, hidden behind the coats!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: JennyO
Date: 18 Jun 05 - 10:59 AM

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
And now it goes to school with her
Between two bits of bread

Mary had a little lamb
She kept it in a Bucket
and every time she took it out
The Bulldog tried to eat it.

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a duck
She put them on the mantlepiece
To see if they would fall off

Mary had a little lamb,
the doctors were surprised,
but when old Macdonald had a farm
it really popped their eyes!

Mary had a little lamb,
she tied it to a pylon,
6000 volts went up it's arse
and turned it's wool to nylon.

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: freda underhill
Date: 18 Jun 05 - 11:02 AM

for the lamb's sake - get to sleep jenny!

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 18 Jun 05 - 06:30 PM

LOLROTF!

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 09:02 AM

Mary had a little lamb,
Her brother had it nightly,
The lamb grew up, is mutton now,
And his taste has altered slightly....

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 12:38 PM

Mary had a little pig
It wouldn't stop its' gruntin'
She took out behind the barn
And kicked its' little..........behind

Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: JennyO
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 12:42 PM

Mary had a little lamb
Was given her to keep
It followed her around until
It died from lack of sleep.

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 06:05 PM

Ha! Ha!

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: bobad
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 09:51 PM

FYI

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Peace
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 09:53 PM

A Toyota Texel.

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: GUEST,Esmeralda
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 09:53 PM

Cute...but I'm cuter.

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 03:16 AM

This question came up in a Managers' test for Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs: The object is to determine what type of leave - annual, special with pay, special without pay, carers, compassionate - should be granted in each case...

"I love sheep and I want to go to the Falkland Islands where there are lots. Travelling there is really difficult so can I have 3 months special leave with pay?"

The correct answer was a referral to the Business Stream Manager and possibly the Occupational Health physician.

Everyone KNOWS the prettiest sheep are in New Zealand.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 08:00 AM

Or Austrailia, Liz. The Kiwis and Aussies aren't competitive about everything, just the things that matter; sport, beer, sheep etc

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 08:42 AM

The sheep at Knockholt were ugly this year, and playing hard to get !

Mary had a little lamb
She kept it in a bucket
She kicked her brother in balls
because he tried to . . . play with it too

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: freda underhill
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 09:27 AM

Thought for the Day.

Why do we like sheep? is it because we want to be like them?

Do we have a deep affinity with a creature which travels in herds? Do we secretly want to get high on grass all day?
Is it because they're soft, woolly and cuddly?
or is it those eyelashes? (Lashes?)

is it because they're so dumb and stupid, does conquering a sheep make us feel superior (its not hard)

does part of us want to go on a ram-page?

or is it because we're just mutton trying to be lamb?


freda

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: freda underhill
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 09:58 AM

what's it all about?

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 10:03 AM

To shear or not to shear, that is the question...

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: freda underhill
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 10:24 AM

to bleat, or not to bleat: that is the question..
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slurps and marrow of outrageous cooking,
Or to be simmering inside a stew so humble,
And by decomposing end them? To diet: to eat;
No more; and, by a sheep to say we end
The heartache and the thousand eaten chops
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consommé
Politely to be dished."

William Shakespeare, "Sheeplet" (1600-01)

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 10:54 AM

Lovely, Freda. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 11:58 AM

I suppose that Handel, who was not a native speaker of English, did not notice the comic implications of pausing after "sheep" in "All we like sheep have gone astray", as he does, repeatedly, in his well-known chorus in _Messiah_. It would make a good T-shirt:

All

WE LIKE SHEEP

have gone astray. -- Psalm 23

--- Joe Fineman    [e-mail]

||: Grammar: ethology or ethics? :||

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 03:25 PM

NO!!! NO!!! NO!!!!

Let the sheep GO!!!

I say...I say...Let that sheep go, boy!!!!! *spoken in my best Leghorn Foghorn voice, of course!*


*G*


Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Jun 05 - 12:06 AM

This is sick, your all messed up!

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Jun 05 - 01:50 AM

If you get a decent chorus (like, oo... East London Chorus ), there is no pause after 'for we like sheep'... it's all in the music.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 28 Jun 05 - 07:05 AM

Often sheep keep twisting around and you have to reposition them to where you want them -ie "We have turned everyone to his own way".

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 28 Jun 05 - 10:12 AM

Liz: I disagree. There is an antiphonal section where (I think it's) the upper voices sing "All we, like sheep" & then the lower voices chime in "All we, like sheep". The "all" note is very short & easy to miss. The tune does not allow for a pause after "we". The "sheep" lasts two beats, and then we get "are gone astray". No amount of decency on the part of the chorus can deny us naughty people the opportunity for two giggles.

--- Joe Fineman    [e-mail]

||: How we got here is no indication of what to do next. :||

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: freda underhill
Date: 23 Jul 05 - 01:29 PM

i note that this thread has not been moving - a sign of obstinance and recalcitrance amongst those suffering lanolin addiction - withdraw, I say, withdrawals are hard, but must be endured to overcome the addiction.

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: freda underhill
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 10:01 AM

over a year since this thread has reared its woolley head. Does this mean people are back shagging sheep again? Have they gone back to their old ways?

I believe there should be a 12 step program for sheep shaggers.

Step one - first, find your sheep..

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Paul Burke
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 10:08 AM

Man marries goat. Not got the same class as sheep.

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 11:58 AM

There is a sheep sale on just a mile or so up the road from here now, any requests?
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 02:43 PM

Ewe, ewe, ewe,
I'm in love with ewe, ewe, ewe,
No one else will do, do, do
I'm in love with ewe.

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 03:07 PM

Sheep have fallen out of favor.

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: freda underhill
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 04:50 PM

are you kidding?

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 09 Sep 06 - 03:19 PM

Halfway Up Virginia
from 'More Filth, Dirt Cheap'
Ivor Biggun
1986

Now I'm just an old hillbilly boy, I ain't no city slicker
My interests is incest, bestiality and liquor.
I live on grits and catfish that muck around in the fountains
And I'm just a c-c-country boy and I fxxx around in the mountains.

But I've been down in Georgia, I've been in Caroline.
I've been in both their sisters and the Hole in the Lonesome Pine
Been in and out of Charlotte and her husband's after me....
But halfway up Virginia is where I wanna be.

Now I've got fifty sweethearts, they think that I'm a star,
One of them says, 'Oh baby', and the rest of them say 'baa'
You can depend on a four-legged friend and when I go out bonkin'
I dress that sheep in a gigham gown and take her honky-tonkin'.

Two to the left, two to the right, hooves together and do-si-do
I needn't buy her a new fur coat coz' she's got one that's curly
Just a jug or two of mountain dew and turnips for my girlie.

I've stuffed my tool in a Georgia mule, but I give them cows a miss
Coz' you feel such a xxxx rushin' round to the front
When you want to give 'em a kiss.

But I've been in Alberta, I've been chasin' beaver
Had a pokey in Muscogie with a three-legged golden retriever
I've been through Mississippi and her husband's after me...
But halfway up Virginia is where I wanna be.

Had a bunk-up with a skunk up
Where the blue grass blooms
Had a good xxx from a woodchuck
And polecats and raccoons
A hound dog and a ground hog
A possum up a tree
And everything that bleats and barks
And can't run faster than me. Yahoo!

Now down in the creek lives Lou-Lou-Belle
She's a virgin and I believe her
But if she ain't good enough for her own kinfolk
She ain't good enough for me neither.

I've had all critters great and small
In the hills of Tenessee
And every last one is female
Coz' there ain't nothing strange about me.

And I've yodelled down the canyon
On both sides of Caroline
And I'll go thar again some day
If her brother doesn't mind

I've messed around in Buffalo
From sea to shining sea
But halfway up Virginia is where wanna be
Yeah, halfway up Virginia is where wanna be...

Subject: RE: BS: Quit Shagging Sheep Today!
From: GUEST,Partridge
Date: 10 Sep 06 - 03:03 PM

I thought Ken was the only sheep shagger - seems I was wrong!

Pat