BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 04:33 PM

The best working class coffee I know of was at Benny's Beanery in Chicago, but that was a long time ago. Starbucks? Forget it. Total crap. I have decided to take this thread about as seriously as I do advice from Doctor Phil. Not at all, in other words.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: Bert
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 04:17 PM

Yup Jerry, Starbucks is about the only coffee I have been unable to drink. And I've had some pretty bad stuff at truck stops. I remember about three o'clock one morning I pulled into this truck stop and started pouring some coffee, the woman said "hey that's been stewing a while I'll make you some fresh" I said "That's OK I need something strong" so she didn't charge me. It was still better than the one and only cup I ever tried at Starbucks.

Why do people buy the stuff???

Rap, you use a DARK roux for monkey gravy.

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 04:00 PM

I was going to start this thread and share my recipe for monkey gravy, but things happened and I didn't get to do it. I didn't get 5555 on MOAB, either. The lottery ticket I didn't buy didn't win. SINSULL's recipe sounds lots better than mine. But I can answer the last part of this thread's name:

Yes, if you make the right light roux right

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 02:32 PM

If it were cat I could eat it to the accompaniment of 'The 59th Street Bridge Song' 'Feline Gravy'
I'll get my coatnip
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 02:21 PM

That's what their coffee tastes like to me, Bert.

Many, many years ago when I was working on an assembly line at a Fisher Body plant (making bodies for Chevrolets) I was working with a big, likeable but hopelssly obtuse young kid from Northern Wisconsin. I smoked cigars once in awhile in those days, and gave him one. We got onto the subject of how disgusting a cigar was when it was mostly smoked down, and he claimed that he could cut the smoked end of the cigar down and chew it like chewing tobacco. He was much for macho. Just to prove it, he cut the ashes off the end of the cigar he'd finished smoking and chewed the end.

We're talking every know shade of green, here.

Oh yea, his last name was Starbucks.

(only kidding about that last line..)

Jerryt

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: Bert
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 02:17 PM

Jerry, I thought Starbucks used old cigarrete butts.

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: Pied Piper
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 01:59 PM

In Josiah Windburns classic 1772 book "The Simian Gourmand" he recommends Truffles as the only accompaniment strong enough to counter the scribulous and pulinatory aspects of the flesh of the Primates.
For wine he recommends a brutal Port such as Don Creosote.

PP

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 01:34 PM

when I lived in Wichita, Jerry, the tiny local zoo had a Celebes Macaque(called Charley) who had no use for acrobatics...he just hated people and would poop and pelt! His aim was pretty good, too. They finally put a finer mesh wire around the lower part of his cage, which 'reduced' the effect. It was for awhile a form of entertainment for some folks to bring unsuspecting friends to the zoo soon after feeding hour and tell them to "call out to that big monkey on the end"....then stand WAY back.

I expect there were MANY who would have cheerfully used any recipe on 'ol Charlie.

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 01:33 PM

A sauce of great amusement.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 01:33 PM

Monkey boiling song (with apologies to Chongo)

to the tune of 'jeepers creepers'

1 monkey (rhesus)
Cut into small pieces.
Render till splen-derd
Pour over bushmeat pie-ies
And crispy-curly fries. (optional)

feel free to add verses ...

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 01:13 PM

When I was in college, I worked in the Primate Lab at the University of Wisconsin, testing monkeys. There was a particularly unpleasant Rhesus monkey who had perfected a backward flip. When a new, unsuspecting victim came up to rattle his cage (Which thread should this go in?) the monkey would do a neat back flip, perfectly timing a rectal projectile into the stunned viseage of the victim.

On second thought, maybe Rhesus Pieces wouldn't be such a good idea..

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:41 PM

TheBigPinkLad said:

You'd need a much bigger pot, PoppaGator.

I know not about Poppagator, but my Beautiful Wife says my pot is to big already.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: GUEST,Mrs Olive Whatnoll
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:41 PM

Cor! You'd need a bloody big cauldron to do an orangatang! 'Oribble smelly beasts they are. Me sister's 3rd 'usband looked just loik one o' them beasts, e' did. 'E's in the lockup now for assault and bat'ery. 'E's a roight bastard!

I fink a chimp would be bet'er if it was a small one. You know, loik that "cheetah" wot's in the Tarzan movies. They're ugly bastards too. And smelly, but not as smelly as oragnatangs.

I fink you ought to go for Figgy Duff instead. Or Welsh rarebit.

- Olive Whatnoll

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: rumanci
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:41 PM

and orangutans here tend to be used by aspiring models and actresses to bring colour into their lives ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:39 PM

Are those that the beans that come in a bag marked "passed"?

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:38 PM

One of the most carefully guarded secrets in the food industry is the use of Capuchin monkeys for making a drink.

Ask them about it some time at Starbucks..

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:37 PM

You'd need a much bigger pot, PoppaGator.

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: PoppaGator
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:36 PM

Would a chimp or orangutang be an acceptable substitute? I could double the quantities of other non-primate ingredients if necessary; any suggestions?

I looked, but I don't have any monkeys in the larder today...

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:35 PM

Anything to help the OT suppression: Monkey's Blood in the north of England is what the icecream man calls raspberry syrup. I think you just boil raspberries with sugar. Monkey gravy may be the same thing or may be more traditional gravy made by rendering a rhesus money (Macaca mulatta)and paying careful attention to ameliorating the hirsute texture. Then again it may just be a euphemism for boy germs.

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:28 PM

ewwwwwww

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:27 PM

I love Rhesus Pieces, myself..

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:27 PM

NO, they're carnivorous wierdos. . . :)

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: Strollin' Johnny
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:22 PM

And I thought all mudcatters were veggie weirdos!

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: rumanci
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:09 PM

hey SINS .........wouldn't they be "gibbonlets" ?

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:07 PM

Come here Chongo and I will make it all butter...I mean better.

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:06 PM

This is a freakin' outrage. I am disgusted.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:04 PM

LOL! GREAT contribution, SINSULL!

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:04 PM

Size of wablwspoon depends on size of monkey. No - that wasn't a typo (heh heh)

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:04 PM

We are thinking of securing a very large cauldron from the local Wiccan Association.

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:03 PM

1 monkey, flayed and gutted
2 tablespoons flour
1 cup broth
giblets ground
salt
pepper
dash white wine




Roast one monkey. In drippings stir two wablespoons of flour with a whisk until totally incorporated. Let cook for two minutes while constantly stirring. Then slowly add chicken broth or monkey broth if you have had the foresight to cook the giblets. Last add ground up giblets, a little salt to taste and a grinding of fresh pepper. A touch of white wine will round out the flavor.

Subject: RE: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: rumanci
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:00 PM

it might depend on how big the stirring spoon is   *bg*

Subject: BS: Monkey Gravy - Does it work?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 11:54 AM

I need to find out for a recipe for the next folk concert here. We are trying to attract more audience, and I think this might work.