BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...

Subject: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Bobert
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 10:22 PM

As seen on TV, the "Up Easy Power Seat" which in the advertisments shows how this hydrolic seat can help folks get up while seated or getting eated from standing has now killed a Wes Ginny woman, who was catapulted thru the front window of the family double wide, landed in the street out front and run over by her couszin who juswt happened to be driving by in his 1978 Chevette.

According to police reports, Mrs. Ricky Lee Penwell, attempted to use her new "Up Easy Power Seat", three easy payments of $69.95, when the hydrolic seat amlfunctioned and booted Mrs. Penwell thru the front window of her 1983 Nomad Double Wide mobile home some 73 feet into the middle of Mission Road where here couzin, one Rufus Tmpkins driving a 1978 Chevette, hit Mrs Tompklins as she landed in Misssion Road, where she was pronounced, ahhh, history, you know... outta here.

Spokes people at the "Up Easy Power Seat" Company have declined comment but have notified her husband, Mr. Timothy Timpkins, that the company expects Mr Timpkins to make the fianl two payments for the seat....

Fact is stranger than fiction...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Joe Offer
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 10:38 PM

Gee, Bobert, it sounds like that seat really works!!! Click here to get one of your own.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: artbrooks
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 10:54 PM

Interesting, Bobert. My wife (the OT) needs to know more about this...do you have a link to the story?

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 11:24 PM

Cuzzin Rufus didn' "just happen by". Him an' 'is brother Luther wuz in th' front yard drinkin' Milwaukee's Bes' an' spinnin' donuts wid they's cars an' tryin' t' see if one obv 'em cud turn enuff RPMs t' blow 'is motor up. Luther won wen he blowed up th' 396 in 'is '69 Chevy Caprice. Rufus jus' cudn't git enuff revs outta thet Chevette t' blow th' thang up. He wuz probly pissed off on accounta loozin' an' jus' didn' see Cuzzin Ricky Lee lyin' thar in th' road. It warn't th' fust time she'd been knowed t' be lyin' in thet road, but it mightta been th' fust time she'd dunn it sober.

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Bobert
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 11:38 PM

Well gol danged, Beezer, I reckon that the local prosecutin' attorney would be more thsan happy to sit down wid ya an go over yer therories.... Give him a call. His name is Bud Ketchtya and you can reach him at 1-800-IZGOTCHA...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Peace
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 11:57 PM

Bobert,

I want some of that, too. Pass it over. LOL

Best laugh I've had in a while. You crazy bugger. LOL

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Teresa
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 01:20 AM

Awright, Bobert, I'm gonna getcha fer that one when I meet ya at the getaway! :D The picture ... dang, I was laughing my ass off and feeling guilty about it, besides! Heeheeheeheeheehee!

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 08:57 AM

The '78 Chevette was the giveaway. By the time they get that old, they don't have enough power to run over anyone, and have lost so many parts it wouldn't hurt much anyway. Would turned it in on a Caddy with 120,000 miles on it, twere me.

A

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: GUEST,~S~
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 09:05 AM

Some pow'ful thang, she hit so hard it done changed her name from Pennell to T'mpkins!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 09:51 AM

Them seats are dangerous, sure'n shootin'. Fella out this way bought one fer his bass boat. He ended up cattypulted onto the shore, landin' plumb in the middle of some kids worm stand, and the recoil threw his boat right down the glory hole of the American Falls dam, where it went right through the 'lectrical turbines.

Plumb ruint his Ugly Stick rod, too.

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: GUEST,Uncle DaveO
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 09:53 AM

Why do I get the smell of Urban Legend here?

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 11:15 AM

It's breaking news, Dave! These people will be called as witlesses by the local District Attorney. . .

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 11:26 AM

I been called as a witless numerous times, but no-one ever needed a lawyer to do it....

A

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 12:23 PM

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! What a mental image...

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Mingulay
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 05:21 PM

Problem is ya got hydrolic power fer the seat an what ya needs o'course is lowdrolic power. Y'ave ter use a thinner oil and trim th' wick closer. I'se 'sumin Mrs Penwell ways in UNDER 300 pound meanin the hydrolics shud've put her into orbit and left th' Chevette as a pile o' dust. Lowdrolics woulda just set her on her feet nice and purty and ready to run. Seems like her remainin' half should sue 'cos the manual was printed in English and how's he gonna unnerstan that?

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Peace
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 05:24 PM

Didn't someone design a toilet seat--which when put down--played the National Anthem? If not, it would be a good thing to do.

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: GUEST,observer
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 05:32 PM

Dang - that's what happens when ya invites Tim Allen to yer home!

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 05:33 PM

Ooooh... It's supposed to be a FUNNY.... I get it...

I'll bet Leno and Letterman are cr@pping themselves knowing comic genius like this is out here...

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 05:54 PM

Yep, that's right, Clinton. And somewhere Eminem is cr@pping himself thinking that some guy from Canada may be a bigger asshole than him.

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Mingulay
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 05:57 PM

I seem to remember seeing something about musical toilet seats on sale in Germany with an oompah band to drown out the noisier manifestations of a strictly bean diet.

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Joe Offer
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 09:23 PM

It can't be an urban legend - there ain't no "urban" in West-by-God-Virginia, they tell me.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Bobert
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 09:34 PM

Now say yer sorry, Joe... I got a sub-urban parked right out front, gol dang it... Okay it may not be a full urban but it 4 wheel drive so that outta get it up in the urban level, maybe urban plus, fir that matter...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 09:53 PM

Sounds worse than the exercycles that had faulty bicycle seats that allowed the supporting pole to slip through the seat and impale people up to 2 feet deep in the rectal area.

true However...
Imagine a safe sexercycle that was engineered for pleasurable female excercise. :)


the male version would pose many more engineering difficulties. :1

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 11:07 PM

Don't you try to illustrate that one, Don! You'll get busted!

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Teresa
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 11:25 PM

Donuel!!! :D I don't know whether to laugh or scream in anguish. :)

teresa

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Hrothgar
Date: 28 Jan 05 - 03:46 AM

Just make moaning noises, Teresa.

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Jan 05 - 08:59 AM

Donuel... I have it on good authority (and no, I WON'T give you her address) that it is available.... but only by mail order and with a private "fitting".... the major problem is if your foot should slip off the pedals.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 28 Jan 05 - 09:08 AM

Dear Mudcat;

I am appalled by the nature of the thoughts that seem to be emanating from the obviously warped minds of some of your members and I trust that you will employ your 'thought police' to seek out and vigourously admonish these offenders. They know who they are, as do we, and cannot escape the retribution that will surely fall upon them.

Yours veanegfully

Disgusted

Tunbridge Wells

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jan 05 - 09:29 AM

Liz:

Ouch!Oh, OUCH!!!   

LOL!!!



A

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Charley Noble
Date: 28 Jan 05 - 09:35 AM

One alternative could be wurst!

Charley Ignoble

Subject: RE: BS: 'Up Easy Power Seat' kills woman...
From: Megan L
Date: 28 Jan 05 - 02:10 PM

Donuel m'dear think milking parlour,you and your bicycle need never part company again :)