BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Feb 05 - 06:05 PM

Whenever I get a package of Smarties, I make it my duty to continue testing the strength and robustness of the candy as a species.

To this end, I hold Smartie duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red Smarties are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue Smarties as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one Smartie... the strongest of the herd. No snacking on this one; it has earned its place of honour and must be treated accordingly. I pack this Monarch of the Glen neatly in an envelope and send it to Nestlé Headquarters, Avenue Nestlé 55, 1800 Vevey, Switzerland, along with a 3x5 card reading:

"Please use this Smartie for breeding purposes."

This week, they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of Smarties. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds of pretenders, we will winnow out the True Champion.

"There can be only One!"

-author mostly unknown

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: SharonA
Date: 22 Feb 05 - 07:28 PM

Okay, ater reading this thread I have to ask: does the candy coating of Smarties (UK) come in different flavors? Or are people sorting them by color and expressing a preference "just because"?

M&Ms candies (US) do not have multi-flavored candy coatings, just the various colors. As I write, I am eating the Peanut M&Ms, which are different from one another only in the texture of each peanut. (Some are really hard; I find myself checking my teeth to make sure I'm not chewing one of my crowns!) I assume that Smarties don't come with a peanut center; am I right?

Raedwulf: "Twix", you say? Is the UK "Twix" the same as the US "Twix bar"?

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: Layah
Date: 22 Feb 05 - 07:36 PM

UK twix and US twix are the same. One of the few candies that are. There's a whole confusing combination of mars bars and milky way and three muskateers that masquerade as one another variously by country.

Cluin, I tried that with a pack of m&ms once. My testing methods were not scientific enough though, because the newcomer almost always won, the previous winner having been weakend by the warmth of my hand. I think I need to develop more specialized m&m war equipment. I also often find that mutations have a much thicker shell, thus having a great advantage.

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: MBSLynne
Date: 23 Feb 05 - 02:48 AM

Mostly Smarties don't have different flavours, but the orange ones have orange flavoured chocolate in...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: Torctgyd
Date: 23 Feb 05 - 06:14 AM

I believe that they may be bringing out flavoured Smarties - but I was off sick with the 'flu' at the time and I wasn't paying much attention to Blue Peter on the TV!

BTW what is it that Americans call stomach flu - is it a euphamism for the shits?

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: GUEST,*Laura* (who STILL can't log on!)
Date: 23 Feb 05 - 04:28 PM

I always save the green ones. I don't think they taste any different though.
xLx

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: Layah
Date: 23 Feb 05 - 08:48 PM

This thread inspired me, so I bought some smarties today. They are indeed better than m&ms.    The candy shell is thicker. And they are way way better than American smarties, which don't contain chocolate. Anything that contains chocolate must be intrinisicly superior to anything that doesn't contain chocolate. And the orange ones are orange flavored. And they came in a tube.

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: SharonA
Date: 23 Feb 05 - 09:20 PM

"Anything that contains chocolate must be intrinsically superior to anything that doesn't contain chocolate."

AMEN!!!!!


Torctgyd: Being an American myself, I can answer your question: Yes, that's one of the results of "stomach flu"! So is vomiting. It's actually not an influenza virus. It's viral gastroenteritis (inflammation of the stomach and intestines; can be caused by Salmonella enteritidis), also called "Norwalk Virus" or Norovirus. More than you wanted to know, I'm sure!

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: skipy
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 10:42 AM

Got one, got one, got one - smarties tube & it's going on ebay tonight! Watch for it. Orange lid letter i.
Skipy (eating the blue one again!).

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: GUEST,Moki
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 06:09 PM

Randi will eat any of them.

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: rockchick
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 11:02 PM

and i just put mine in the dustbin last week, boohooo, sob. and what about the smarties that got thrown at me in Ireland (mudcat gathering) they went down the front of my teeshirt.never to be seen again !!!!!!alas only the smaries no tube!

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: GUEST,steven
Date: 25 Feb 05 - 06:16 PM

SWISS douchebags hands off our traditions, oh yeah and pay the poor bastard farmers a living wage.

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: robomatic
Date: 26 Feb 05 - 10:55 AM

Time for the dumb 'murrican to contribute:

I started this thread wondering if i'd ever seen Smarties and if they were similar to M & Ms. When i read Cluinn's story I recalled seeing this a few years ago done as a voluntary breeding program for bigger and better m & ms. so they must be similar.

It's wonderful to have impetus for delicious research.

But lamenting a packaging that has lasted for generations is almost unknown in the states, the last time I remember this is when Animal Crackers stopped coming in those lovely little cardboard illustrated zoo cages and Crackerjacks stopped coming in crude waxy illustrated cardboard containers.

Octagonal tubes sound like fun, kinda like old-fashioned gun barrels.

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: Layah
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 09:35 AM

I bought some fruit flavored smarties today. They don't have any chocolate, therefore they are immediately inferior to chocolate smarties. The flavor is not related to the color, so you don't know what flavor any of them are. They remind me of skittles. Except they are kind of harder.

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 02:28 PM

there was the question if smarties have different flavors... I can tell the difference between many of the colors. The lighter ones (green, pink, yellow) have a slightly sweeter taste, while the darker ones (both browns) are a little more bitter. Red and orange have their own distinct tastes, but I am not sure about blue... been a while since I did the research, as blue ones were only introduced a few years back in Canada.

I love the concept of the Smarties duels... but cluin, how do you get rid of the color on the tips of your fingers?

Brian

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: annamill
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 02:35 PM

Ok, I've just had my first smarties. Ironically, my husband brought some home from work yesterday. I couldn't believe it. They weren't in any type of tube though. They were wrapped up in clear paper. I wanted to try to be objective and try each color. I found them very tart yet with a sweetness about them. Not bad. An interesting taste.

Probably wouldn't beat chocolate any time soon as one of my favorites, but, I'd eat them again.

Love, Annamill

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 02:41 PM

NO NO NO, Annamill!! You've got those silly American ones!!!

you need to get hold of some good old fashioned Canadian, UK, or Aussie smarties... the good old fashioned CHOCOLATE CENTRES!!!!

send your husband back out across the boarder for a proper treat!

Brian

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: annamill
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 02:56 PM

Well! Drat! Chocolate Centers!! Drat!

Ok, I still haven't tried Smarties.

Never mind. Please ignore previous message.

Love, Annamill

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: robomatic
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 04:29 PM

Yeah, I've never seen chocolate smarties. How come they're different in the states?

Cadbury caramellos are the same, ditto aero bars, when you can find 'em, so how come our smarties ain't so smart?

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: Layah
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 04:46 PM

Smarties in the States are not very good. There are other candy bars with confusing names. UK Mars bars are like US Milky Way, and UK Milky Way are like US 3 Muskateers. I know we have Mars bars in the US, but I can't remember what they are like. And what is entirely unfair, Kit Kats are the same except they have better chocolate in the UK. And Nestle makes chocolate that is worth eating, unlike Nestle chocolate in the US. I was happier believing Nestle didn't know how to make good chocolate. Now I'm offended that they sell their junk in the US and something better (admitedly not really good, but edible at least) to the UK.

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: skipy
Date: 03 Mar 05 - 04:34 PM

Yes, but I've picked it up & put it at the top again!
Skipy.

Subject: RE: BS: Smarties to drop the tube!!
From: alison
Date: 04 Mar 05 - 12:54 AM

saw an ad here in Oz not so long ago that they were changing "Snickers" back to "Marathons" again.... and about time too

can't get used to Starburst either - although their jelly snakes and jelly beans are great... we get musical ones too - gummy shape guitars, notes, singers etc.... mmmmmmmmm

never liked the blue smarties - red were great to paint with
I remember trying to get the lids to spell out words with all the other kids in the playground after we'd eaten the sweets



slainte

alison