Lost pencil

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: John O'L
Date: 21 Mar 05 - 07:35 AM

Brilliant!

I'm gonna go & sign up for something tommorrow.
It might be months before I get a legitimate form to fill in and by then I'll probably have forgotten, unless I have actually done it; Then I'll remmember it.

So that's my Tip For The Day:
If you want to remmember how to do something, do it before you forget.

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 21 Mar 05 - 03:58 AM

When filling in any sort of official form look at the bottom. It usually has a box which says 'For Official Use Only'. Do NOT write in this space, instead take a white candle and rub it lightly over the surface of the paper. A simple, cheap and very effective pleasure.

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Mar 05 - 07:18 PM

gnu, the Borrower stories are a fun read. The stories are well written. Once you buy into the premise you can enter their world and you will have these moments of epiphany as in "Ha! That explains it!

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Mar 05 - 04:46 PM

Tax Returns... .bruuahahahahhaaa!!!

If you really want to annoy the tax office, only fill in every other box... makes our lives much more interesting!

Of course, you'll get a fine for incorrect filing, but we'll have had a laugh... and an excuse to use the big red pencil!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: gnu
Date: 20 Mar 05 - 09:12 AM

I see an old pencil thread resurrected above the line. Here.

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: gnu
Date: 20 Mar 05 - 08:47 AM

If I could find one, I'd use it.

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: gnomad
Date: 20 Mar 05 - 08:43 AM

So, Gnu, there is a Sanity Clause?

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: gnu
Date: 20 Mar 05 - 06:43 AM

I thought you knew that one was there. Now, help me find my sanity. I had it right here just a few days ago, before I started my tax returns.

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: mindblaster
Date: 20 Mar 05 - 05:50 AM

Thanks everybody who responded to my desperate plea - I've now found it! - T'was behind my ear all the time!

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: John O'L
Date: 19 Mar 05 - 09:07 PM

Further to the posts by Leeneia & SRS, I am greatly appreciating this recent trend on Mudcat towards what I think of as Productive Silliness - This thread, Goat, of course You Must Leave Now, and others.
Serious discussion about the likes of fox hunting and the shrub, religion, terrorism and so on are all necessary and informative, but these make-of-it-what-you-will threads are a breath of fresh air.

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Mar 05 - 06:54 PM

We have a basket for odd socks.. Stealing a great line from a Les Barker poem, we call it Soxfam.....

LTS

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Mar 05 - 02:44 PM

Leeneia, you're correct--this is a good coping device for daily stress. Every morning when I get up and walk into the kitchen to start water for my moring tea, I reach out to turn on the radio and hope that I'm not going to tune into continuing coverage of that next big disaster.

Meanwhile, I've been cleaning out boxes of papers that I intended to file, but never got around to. I've found four of my various brand painter's-type hats that I wear when I work in the yard. I'm back to a nice-sized supply to keep in the laundry room and out in the garage! Today I was trimming the yard (with my newly repaired gas trimmer--repaired by me!) while wearing a hat from a paper recycling company. This thread is good luck, bringing back various misplaced or misunderstood (in the case of the trimmer) items.

SRS

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 19 Mar 05 - 02:34 PM

Let me just say that all of you are cheering me up no end with your good humor and wisdom about the small things in life. Such a relief from some people's obsession with The Horror of the Month.

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Mar 05 - 10:26 AM

It has been my experience that the runaway socks were not runaways at all, but in fact were stuck in the sleeve of a sweat shirt that was washed at the end of the cold weather for the year. It doesn't turn up until it gets cold again and that sweatshirt comes out. Same sometimes with blankets and other static-y bits of laundry.

SRS

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: GUEST,Bill the Collie
Date: 19 Mar 05 - 09:05 AM

Always keep a lost-twin-sock drawer.

Some prodigal socks do return, of their own volition.

Then you can celebrate with fatted calves.

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: gnu
Date: 18 Mar 05 - 02:48 PM

Oh.... I shoulda known.

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Mar 05 - 02:45 PM

Borrowers

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 18 Mar 05 - 02:42 PM

we'd tell you - but they swore us beans to secrecy!

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: gnu
Date: 18 Mar 05 - 02:35 PM

Please... "Borrowers"??? Who, what, where, when, why, whatever?

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Mar 05 - 09:48 AM

They won't help you... they don't like being 'seen'.

LTS

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 18 Mar 05 - 09:38 AM

Shorts are not a problem, I don't wear them. With legs like mine I am not allowed to as one sight of them gives babies wind and frightens horses. It does mean that I am exempt from paying foot tax (known as sockage) under Section II(a)para vii of the Knitted Footwear (Diverse Materials) Act 2003.

Maybe I should contact the Borrowers at Christmas to decorate my feet.After all the height should be about right for them.

If I could find a pencil I would write to them and ask!

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: 42
Date: 18 Mar 05 - 07:54 AM

The Borrowers have all that stuff and are using it wisely.

j

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Mar 05 - 05:42 AM

Dark blue pinstripe? But what about those novelty Christmas ones... are you going to stick pompom snowmen and tinsel trees to your ankles for the festive season?

LTS

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Mar 05 - 04:51 AM

But then you can only wear shorts with long socks - and sandals!!!...

and bingo! you are back to the sock problem again.

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 18 Mar 05 - 04:09 AM

Just solved the sock problem for ever, had my feet and ankles tattooed in a very tasteful dark blue pinstripe. Means I can wash them in the shower with the rest of me and it saves on packing, darning etc.

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Mar 05 - 04:01 PM

Pianos have a magnetic force under them that attracts all dropped items to them. It's the second most powerful force in the house, the first of course, being the one under the fridge. We have a dining room floor that drops down by at least 3" to one corner, opposite the wall where the piano is. Whatever we drop on the dining room floor automatically rolls under the piano, regardless of the 3" drop. Unless it's food of course... then the cats get it, usually before it hits the floor.

As I don't have enough money to buy even a Victoria's Secrets catalogue, I don't care about invalidating my warranty. I just want a pair of pants I can sling in the washer and not have the elastic eaten. As for washing by hand in the sink.. I can only say that Victoria's secret is that she has domestic help and a damn good laundry service!

LTS

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 17 Mar 05 - 02:07 PM

Mindblaster, do you have a piano? If so, the missing pencil is sure to have dropped into the works. Then when the piano tuner comes, he will look daggers at you for abusing a defenseless musical instrument.

My piano tuner has forbidden me all pencils.

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 Mar 05 - 01:23 PM

So, Don, were all of those emails with the subject line "pen*le extender" really for pencil extenders? Wow!

Liz, I can't believe you launder your bras in the washer. Victoria's Secret voids their warranty immediately if they know you've washed them in any other way than by hand in the sink.

(And no, the 7 1/2 w/ eraser bit did NOT go unnoticed!)

SRS

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: Don Firth
Date: 17 Mar 05 - 12:52 PM

This being St. Patrick's day, what can I say but "Erin Go Bra!"

Actually, I'm seriously considering going wireless myself (broadband, wireless router, that kind of wireless).

But back to pencils. What comes in real handy is a pencil extender. Here ya go (scribble scribble).

Back in those days where we had just set our hammers, chisels, and stone tablets aside and adopted pencil and paper, every kid's pencil box had at least one pencil extender. It was a wooden handle about four or five inches long, slightly fatter than a pencil, with a replaceable eraser on one end and a split metal sleeve on the end. Around the sleeve was a metal ring. When a wooden pencil had got so short it was hard to hold, you'd slip it into the sleeve, then slide the ring down and the sleeve would grip the pencil stub. You could smoke it right down to the eraser.

When I was at Boeing, I worked in the production illustration department (like drafting, but showing stuff in "three dimensional views"). In addition to using Rapid-o-Graph pens a lot, we used truckloads of pencils. You could pick up pencil extenders at the supply desk.

As far as I know, these days the only place you can get them is at an art supply store.

Don Firth

(Buy a pencil extender. Save a tree.)

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: Layah
Date: 17 Mar 05 - 09:44 AM

I find wire bras much more comfortable. I think they're uncomfortable if you have small breasts. But I could be wrong. I'm just weird anyway, as I find wearing a bra much more comfortable than not wearing one, which does not appear to be generally true. I've never had a wire come out in the washing machine or dryer. The most the wires ever do is suddenly punch through the side and start stabbing me in the armpit. Then I throw out the bra and buy a new one.

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 05 - 09:32 AM

LtS, aren't wire bras awfully uncomfortable? Do ascetics and the terminally weird wear barbed wire bras?

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: Layah
Date: 17 Mar 05 - 09:26 AM

I know Zaphod Beeblebrox discovered it, but since I don't actually know how to get in contact with him, I figured if I discover it myself he wouldnt' ever notice a few missing pens.

I tried to solve the sock problem by not caring if my socks match or not, which works out fince except that it's not comfortable if my socks aren't the same thickness and texture, and I have a very radom assortment of socks. I also don't like it if they aren't close to the same height.

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: ranger1
Date: 17 Mar 05 - 09:06 AM

I have the same problem as Layah, never enough coathangers and I recently had an entire UNOPENED package of pencils disappear. As for socks, I, too, went the route of buying huge multipacks of identical socks, and I continue to buy the same type of sock as the old ones wear out or are eaten by the laundry appliances. I tried buying nice socks for my winter jobs, but apparently they resemble my SO's socks somewhat and he keeps kifing them. How he could mistake the size is beyond me, I wear a woman's size 6 and he wears a man's 10. You'd think he'd notice that my sock might fit on his big toe, but not much more than that.

BTW, has anyone discovered where all the lids to saucepans and tupperware containers disappears to?

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 17 Mar 05 - 06:36 AM

Burp! said the washing machine!

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Mar 05 - 04:32 AM

I have a sock of that description except it's red instead of blue and blue instead of black.... will that do?

7 1/2 inches with its own rubber..... how did THAT one get by unnoticed?

IKEA - Swedish flatpack furniture megastore - say that their most popular item by far is the pencil. Not everyone gets the item they went in for, but everyone gets a pencil. Some stores report people just coming in to grab handfuls of the little implements... (I have at least 3 within reach now!) and teachers have been reported as saying they're perfect for classes.

It's how mathmaticians cure constipation... they work it out with a pencil.

Layah - the planet where pens go has already been discoverd and forms the basis of Zaphod Beeblebrox's highly successful second hand biro business.

Now what I want to know is what happens to all those bra wires that vanish into the washing machine but are never there when you pull the machine apart?

LTS

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: gnu
Date: 17 Mar 05 - 04:26 AM

That's yours!? How did it get in my dryer?

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 17 Mar 05 - 04:03 AM

I thought I had the sock problem sorted by buying pairs with coloured toes and heels. Just match up the colours right? Does anyone have a black sock with blue toe and heel going spare?

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: GUEST,Bill the Collie
Date: 16 Mar 05 - 10:52 PM

When I get bronchitis, doc tells me take pencil in. Always works.

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Mar 05 - 10:21 PM

Ha! It isn't a brand new pencil, but it's well-balanced, sharp, and has plenty of eraser left. And it doesn't write on just any paper, thank you very much! (That's why it's stayed as sharp as it has for so long!)

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Mar 05 - 10:11 PM

Hah! Just john and I solved the sock problem in the same way! Never buy just one pair of socks. Always buy a bulk pack of six identical pairs. Then, since the socks know that you won't really care if they go missing, they don't bother. What's the fun of running away from home if you know that nobody's going to miss you?

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 16 Mar 05 - 09:29 PM

TTO: brand new rollerskates
"You got a brand new piece of paper
I got a Faber HB"

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: John O'L
Date: 16 Mar 05 - 09:23 PM

mindblaster? Do you have a piece of paper?

SRS has a pencil!

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Mar 05 - 09:04 PM

Yes, Bill, it has been shown that squirrels DO remember where they buried all of those nuts. I had my own experiment of sorts this winter. I have a pot on the patio that I filled with my mix of potting soil and compost, with plans to put in something that would be green over the winter. I never got around to it. One day I noticed the soil was disturbed, and reached in to find a very nice pecan planted there. A couple of months ago I noticed that the pot had again been disturbed, and 1) since I removed the first pecan and 2) since there was no NEW pecan, I can only presume that my small friend had come back looking for his nut.

Now I'd better get off of the computer and make my plans for digging up my gardens this weekend. If I don't do it soon the baby bunnies will be hidden in the tall grass in the flowerbeds. Last year I had three batches of bunnies grow up in my front yard. I like the bunnies and the tarantulas and other critters that live around here, so I try to get my digging over with before they decide it's time to move in.

I have a pencil, now if I can only find a good piece of paper on which to make my list. . .

SRS

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 16 Mar 05 - 08:52 PM

Not last time I looked!

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: dianavan
Date: 16 Mar 05 - 08:41 PM

Does it have little bite marks on it?

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 16 Mar 05 - 08:24 PM

Not long enough!

Gee thanks guys, this is an absolutely faberless thread, but the Joeclones finally got it!.

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Mar 05 - 08:16 PM

If he knew where he lost it, jOhn, he'd go get it.

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: GUEST,jOhn
Date: 16 Mar 05 - 08:10 PM

Waht colour is it, and wehere did you lost it?

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Mar 05 - 06:47 PM

If anyone finds it could they sharpen it real good and shove it up martin gibson's ass please?

Subject: RE: Lost pencil
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Mar 05 - 06:26 PM

well...in the shop, a short pencil can be very useful in a compass, or to keep in a small compartment in a tool box where full length won't fit............but I must confess, the label came from someone who had a box labeled "string too short to save"...it was just too good not to steal. So the short pencils migrate to the box in the shop. (my wife actually BUYS pencils, as she can never find the secret stashes. You don't think a squirrel actually remembers where he hid all those nuts?)