BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...

Subject: RE: BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 02 Apr 05 - 11:30 AM

Remember the Poet Laureate of Scotland?

Strolling through the heather of the rocky highlands we hear his voice, reciting his work :

If ye would but lend to me a pound
I would gladly pay ye back
By Wednesday next week
But for the loan o' two pounds
I would require a fortnight

or something like that. Anyone remember more about that sketch?

Subject: RE: BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...
From: GUEST,Damian - www.montypythonpages.com
Date: 06 Apr 05 - 05:38 PM

The sketches cannot be listed by author because of the way the Pythons worked. On many, many occasions one of them would create a sketch, another would suggest a change and another would add a bit. Or sometimes they would completely rework someone else's sketch. Or combine two sketches into something different. Or, or, or . . . .

In addition to that, there are disputes over who wrote what. Some of the team remember things one way, others another.

All in all, there aren't too many sketches which can be claimed with 100% certainty as being written by just one Python.

Subject: RE: BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...
From: The Walrus
Date: 06 Apr 05 - 07:24 PM

What annoys me is that Channel 4 ran a poll for the 'Funniest TV Comedy Sketch' and the Spanish Inquistion only came second.
First place went to some drivvel from 'Little Britain' which may have been amuzing first time but certainly didn't stand up to repeating.

Walrus.

Subject: RE: BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...
From: Linda Mattson
Date: 07 Apr 05 - 02:37 AM

from Holy Grail

AAAAAAIIIIEEEE

Perhaps he was dictating ?


This reminds me of the joke about telling jokes - you only have to say the number.
-Linda

Subject: RE: BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Apr 05 - 09:38 AM

Perhaps he meant the Carmaaaarrrrrgghh?

Not strictly speaking Python, but have just acquired a DVD of Jabberwocky (Terry Gilliam, Michael Palin, 1977) which has many bits in I thought I'd forgotten.... just wish I could stop Limpit watching it with the Portugese subtitles.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Apr 05 - 01:45 AM

Questions that stick in the mind:

"'Romanes eunt domus'?!"

"Did someone say 'mattress' to Mr. Lambert?!"

"How does your 'Anything Goes' go?"

"She didn't have a duelling scar right here, and a hook?"

Subject: RE: BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Apr 05 - 02:54 AM

"'Wainscotting' - sounds like a small village in Dorset."

Cut to woman watching show in house - repeat of 'wainscotting' - woman runs out into the street -

"OOh, we're on the telly!!'

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 08 Apr 05 - 07:55 AM

The Sam Peckinpah version of Salad days

Subject: RE: BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Apr 05 - 05:08 PM

Penguin on the telly?

Oh...intercourse the Pengin!

Subject: RE: BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...
From: GUEST,Declan
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 12:25 PM

What about the sketch about the woody and tinny sounds - 'Carribou nibbling the croquet hoops'.

My hovercraft is full of eels.

Subject: RE: BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...
From: GUEST,Chicken of Bristol
Date: 11 May 05 - 02:52 PM

Rumple tweezer ran the dinky tinky shop at the foot of the magic oak tree by the wobbly dum dum bush in the shade of the magic glade down in dingley dell. There here sold contreceptives and...::looks at book:: naked?...with a melon??!

Conrad Pooh and his Dancing teeth....i just liked the name

Seducing milkmen was good.

(an audio sketch - String)
"stringettes, a million household uses."
"like what?"
"Tying up very small parcels, attaching notes to pigeon's legs, destroying household pets."
"destroying household pets? How?"
"If it's bigger than a mouse you can strangle it, if it's smaller you can flog 'em to death."

and of course, the Palin and Cleese..

"Do you want to come back to my place?"
".....alright"

Subject: RE: BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...
From: GUEST,Holy Spam
Date: 11 May 05 - 03:03 PM

The Judges!-
And I waggled me wig! Woaoah
You waggled you what?
I waggled me wig!
Really?
That was the only thing I waggled.
Ooh...
Ever so slightly, stunning effect.
Ooh!
Anyway, I gave him three years. He only took ten minutes.


The Protestant Couple of course, one of the best performances by Graham and eric in drag!
(taken from laughnet.net)

MR. BLACKITT
French Ticklers... Black Mambos... Crocodile Ribs... Sheaths that are
designed not only to protect but also to enhance the stimulation of
sexual congress...

MRS. BLACKITT
Have you got one?

MR. BLACKITT
Have I got one? Well no... But I can go down the road any time I want
and walk into Harry's and hold my head up high, and say in a loud
steady voice: 'Harry I want you to sell me a *con-dom*. In fact today I
think I'll have a French Tickler, for I am a Protestant...'

Subject: RE: BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...
From: kendall
Date: 11 May 05 - 03:47 PM

ALBATROSS!!

Subject: RE: BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...
From: Schantieman
Date: 12 May 05 - 01:34 PM

Dead Parrot. No contest.

Followed by the Cheese Shop and the Argument. And the Spanish Inquisition. And the Ministry of Silly Walks.   And......all the others.

I wish they'd repeat them - but I suspct they might not be as funny now.

Steve

Oh yes, the Chartered Accountant/Lumberjack    And the Bruces' Philosophers' Song.

Subject: RE: BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...
From: kendall
Date: 13 May 05 - 07:04 AM

They are currently running Monty Python here, and as before some of it is just plain silly. However, most of it is a riot.

Subject: RE: BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 13 May 05 - 11:59 AM

On a variation of the Parrot Sketch....

About 5 yrs ago, I was watching Saturday Night Live, with people who I have since forgotten as the host and musical guests. About halfway through, suddenly on the screen are Cleese and Palin -- performing the Parrot Sketch! Live, unannounced, the crowd goes nuts!!! Only, it kinda went like this....

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

Mr. Praline: {pause} I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: Oh, all right then -- here you go!

Mr. Praline: Oh, thank you very much.


-- They then left the stage. The live audience was in shock, then realized that was it, and went completely ballistic with applause. The Pythons didn't even come back out for the on-stage finish at the end of the show... was very Pythonesque...

Brian (still living Life of)

Subject: RE: BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 13 May 05 - 12:01 PM

Oh, found it... hosted by Kevin Spacey, Jan 11/97

Subject: RE: BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...
From: Bill D
Date: 13 May 05 - 09:52 PM

I was always partial to the one about the fellow who was going to jump across the English channel, having failed at in several other ways to make the record books. He had a manager who encouraged him, I believe.

Subject: RE: BS: Best Monty Python sketch: 'No one...
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 14 May 05 - 08:06 AM

Mountain Climbing up the Pavement.