BS: Drunks only

Subject: BS: Drinking and posting
From: GUEST,Bill the Collie
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 12:56 AM

This thread is intended only for people who have had a drink or two.


If sober, you are requested to move along.

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Peace
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 01:53 AM

And that goes for yer cat, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 03:08 AM

Is there a time limit on this? I had a little drink several hours ago but am no longer tired and am already at home....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 03:51 AM

Good bye.

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: John O'L
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 05:26 AM

Haven't had a drink for weeks, and on reading this thread I've been inspired to open a bottle.

Thanks Bill, here's to you, son.

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 05:57 AM

I'm not as thunk as some drinkle peep I am, I've only had tee martoonis.
Goki

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 06:17 AM

Some of us are only inebriated with the exuberance of our own verbosity...like word drunk!

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: GUEST,Bill the Collie
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 06:52 AM

there's an old mill by the ssssstreeeeam

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Raptor
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 07:49 AM

Martinis

I'll only have one.

Two at the most.

After 3 I'm under the table.

After 4 I'm under my host.

Author Unknown!

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 08:18 AM

Burp!

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 08:55 AM

I'll get back to yer.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: bobad
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 10:16 AM

Guess that leaves me out as I'm sotally tober.

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 10:21 AM

well, for me it only takes one beer to get me drunk...


... I just can't figure out if it is the 15th or 16th....



Brian, one of "Two Loose Screws"

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: GUEST,Anonymous
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 10:38 AM

real cheap drunk here, only have to hear word "Drunk" and am

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: gnu
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 10:43 AM

Drink? No. Not since they invented the funnel.

Along the same lines, Brian... I am allergic to alcohol. After a half dozen drinks, I get dizzy. Much more than that and I throw up.

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: JennyO
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 11:27 AM

From Wayne and Shuster:

Guy in bar - "I'll have a martinus"

Bartender - "You mean martini"

Guy in bar - "If I want two I'll ask for 'em."

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 02:11 PM

Good old Tom Lehrer -

'Hearts full of youth, hearts full of truth, 6 parts gin to 1 part vermouth!'

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: gnu
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 02:29 PM

Here's to you, and here's to me. And, if, by chance, we disagree, fuck you, here's to me.

Past the lips and past the gums, look out stomach, here it comes.

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: sixtieschick
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 02:44 PM

"Lechery, sir, it provokes and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance."
                                                --Shakespeare, Macbeth

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Leadfingers
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 02:48 PM

I used to drink a lot , but now I dont drink any more . The problem is I dont drink any less ! Maybe I'll something to add after the pubs close !

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: gnu
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 02:50 PM

Fucking drunk?

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 03:40 PM

I got this from my grandfather.
I had 12 bottles of whiskey in my cellar and my wife told me to empty the contents down the sink or else. So I proceeded witht he unpleasent task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottleand poured the contents down the drain with the exception of one glass which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likeways, with the exception of one glass which I drank. I then withdrew the third bottle and emptied the good ole booze down the drain except a drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth sink and poured the bottle down the glass which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of the next glsass and poured the cork down the bottle. I pulled the cork out of my throat and poured the sink down the bottle and drank the glass, Then I corked the sink with the glass and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the bottles and corks and glasses with the other which were 29. To be sure I counted them again whan the house came by and I had 73. As the house and I passed by I counted them again and finally the house and the bottles and corks and glasses counted except one house and one bottle which I drank.

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Emma B
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 03:41 PM

"Let us drink to have wit, not to destroy it!
Panard
C18th French poet

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: gnu
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 04:01 PM

Bartender! More glue. We gotta hold this party together.

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: skipy
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 04:26 PM

Slops! (out of date if poss!)
sklippyeeiaeeo!

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: GUEST,John O'Lennaine
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 01:04 AM

I don't have a drinking problem.

I drink
I get drunk
I fall down

No problem

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: GUEST,van lingle
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 05:23 AM

An jus remember, ish no fun drinking alone until you've had 2 or 3.

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 05:33 AM

Bollocks, I was too drunk to log on again last night and now I'm feckin sober again.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 09:36 AM

ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: JennyO
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 12:52 PM

Best Fruit Cake Ever

Ingredients:

1 cup butter, 1 cup sugar, 4 large eggs, 1 cup dried fruit, 1 tsp baking powder, 1 tsp baking soda, 1 tsp salt, lemon juice, 1 cup brown sugar, 1 or 2 quarts whiskey

Steps:

Before you start, sample the whiskey to check for quality. Good isn't it? Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the whiskey again as it must be just right. To be sure the whiskey is of the highest quality, pour 1 level cup into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. With a electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in large fluffy bowl. Add 1 tsp of thuger and beat again. Meanwhile, make sure the whiskey is of the finest quality. Cry another tup. Open second quart if necessary. Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups of fried druit and beat till high. If druit gets stuck in beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey again, thecking for tonsicisity, then sift 2 cups of salt or anything, it really doesn't matter. Sample the whuskey. Sift 1/2 pint of lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add 1 babblespoon of brown thugar,or whatever color you can find and wix mell. Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350. Now pour the whole mess into the coven and ake. Check the whiskey again, and bo to ged.

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 01:40 PM

My uncle used to suffer from Alcoholic Constipation. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't pass a pub.

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Seaking
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 02:37 PM

Just going out, may see you later...

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Jim McLean
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 03:53 PM

How do you order a dry martini in German if you only want one?

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: annamill
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 08:11 PM

I work as a Trolley Driver now! I'm not allowed to drink for 8 hrs before I actually drive. I have off tomorrow, Monday and don't have to be at work til 1pm Tuesday....

Nibblin' on sponge cake
Watching the sun bake
All of those tourists covered with oil
Strumming my six-string
On my front porch swing
Smell those shrimp, they're beginning to boil

Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searching for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there's a bad man to blame
But I know
It's nobody's fault

I don't know the reason
I stayed here all season
Nothing to show but this brand new tattoo
But it's a real beauty
A Mexican cutie
How it got here I haven't a clue

Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searching for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there's a bad man to blame
Now I think
Hell, it could be my fault

I blew out my flip-flop
Stepped on a pop-top
Cut my heal had to cruise on back home
But there's booze in the blender
And soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on

Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searching for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there's a bad man to blame
But I know
It's my own damned fault

Yes and some people claim that there's a bad man to blame
And I know
It's my owned damned fault

I love California!!!

Life ain't to bad.

Love, Annamill

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: annamill
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 08:14 PM

too... sorry!

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: GUEST,Curdle
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 12:22 AM

She's a big girl and a bonnie girl and she likes her beeeeeeer

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: GUEST,Dominie
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 06:33 PM

Curdle

Lass, lass not girl, girl.

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 07:57 PM

Waaght all thgis id aboioiutr?
i wiomnder waht thfis thread fotr thyen?

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: GUEST,John O'Lennaine
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 08:49 AM

OK jOhn, I'll have one with you, ta.

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: NH Dave
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 01:07 PM

Do you know the difference between a common drunk and an alcoholic?
















Us common drunks don't have to go to those damned meetings!

Dave

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Chris Green
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 06:23 PM

I 'aven't ad a c*** all night, drinkstable!

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: Gray D
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 07:51 PM

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA . . . . YOU'RE MY BESHT MATES, YOU ARE!

Gray . . . er . . . what iz it? . . . letter . . . aaalphabet . . . no, don't tell me . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: GUEST,Conrad Kilton
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 12:03 AM

Ooops woz gonna post something but i just sobered up

Subject: RE: BS: Drunks only
From: GUEST,Kismet Hardy
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 12:30 PM

OK who spilt my pint?


Was it you 4-eyesh?