BS: Corporate Lessons

Subject: BS: CORPORATE LESSONS
From: Justa Picker
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 02:49 PM

Corporate Lesson #1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After
a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and
answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps
up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the
door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before
she could say a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to
drop that towel that you have on."

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel
and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds,
Bob hands her $800 and leaves. Confused, but excited
about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the
towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to
the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower, "Who
was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about
the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit
and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in
a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson #2

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side
of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which
she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing
her habit to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest
had a good look and nearly had an accident. After
controlling the car, he stealthily reached over and
slid his hand up her leg.

The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father,
remember Psalm 129?"

The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He
forced himself to remove his hand. Changing gears, he
let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

Once a gain the priest apologized, "Sorry, Sister, but
the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a
meaningful glance and went on her way.

Upon his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to
retrieve a bible and looked up Psalm 129. It Said, "Go
forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might
miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson #3

A sales representative, an administration clerk, and
the manager are walking to lunch when they find an
antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in
a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant
three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to
be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care
in the world." Poof! She's gone.

In astonishment, "I'm next! I'm next!" says the sales
rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach
with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of piña
coladas, and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office
right after lunch."

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson #4

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A
small rabbit saw the crow and asked him, "Can I also
sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not?"

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and
rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the
rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very, very high up.

Corporate Lesson #5

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be
able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the
turkey, but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"
replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it
actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some
more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after
a fourth night, there he was, proudly perched at the
top of the tree.

Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the
turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

Bullsh#@ might get you to the top, but it won't keep
you there.

Corporate Lesson #6

In Africa, every morning a gazelle awakens knowing
that it must outrun the fastest lion if it wants to
stay alive. Every morning, a lion wakes up knowing it
must run faster than the slowest gazelle or it will
starve to death.

Moral of the story:

It makes no difference whether you are a gazelle or a
lion: When the sun comes up, you had better be hauling
ass.

Subject: RE: BS: CORPORATE LESSONS
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 02:56 PM

LOL, JP!! Thanks for the grin!


A

Subject: RE: BS: CORPORATE LESSONS
From: mack/misophist
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 03:20 PM

That's on the way to my cousin, the corporation man.

Subject: RE: BS: CORPORATE LESSONS
From: Bev and Jerry
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 07:19 PM

Great!!!

Bev and Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: CORPORATE LESSONS
From: Bobert
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 08:24 PM

Does yer dog bite???

B:)

Subject: RE: BS: CORPORATE LESSONS
From: Justa Picker
Date: 19 Aug 05 - 12:35 PM

This site is pretty malarious as well.