BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.

Subject: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST,Ralphy Rabbit
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 06:38 PM

Unbeknownst to the general public, there were thousands of cartoon characters who never made the big time. I was one of them. I tried my best to break into the business right from the late 20's, into the "talkies", and on into the color movies. I tried Disney, Hanna Barbera, I tried 'em all.

You haven't heard of me, have you? No, but you've heard about Bugs Bunny! And you've heard about Peter Rabbit! And you've heard about Bre'r Rabbit! Well, Bugs was a syndicate-connected crook who bribed and slept his way to the top. Peter was a closet pervert. And "Bre'r" didn't even have a proper NAME! Those guys were bums, all of 'em. They were third rate hacks. I found out early that you can have all the talent, all the skill, all the heart...and Hollywood just spits you out on the trash pile if you don't know the right people and sleep with the right people. I never filched one carrot. Not one. I worked 7 days a week in lousy hash joints. What did I get for it? A skin ailment, that's what!

But enough about me. I'm just one sad casualty of the destructive cartoon industry's war on good taste and honesty in art.

Here are some of the others who should have made it big and never did. Bow your heads in a moment of silence when you read their names:

Horace Horsecollar (reduced to embarrassing "Guest" appearances at the whim of "the rodent" (you know who!)

Gus Goose (portrayed as a goof, he was brilliant)

Joe Jellyfish (had an act that had to be seen to be believed)

Andrew J. Morgenstern IV (a gorilla who could tapdance and juggle better than Gloria Gaynor)

Ima de Best (Mexican jumping bean character. Shot down in a Tijuana
nightclub and then roasted and eaten!)

Pie-Eye the Sailor Man - was shafted by Thimble Theatre and ended up starving in an alleyway in downtown Peoria. Popeye stole all of Pie- Eye's best routines and parlayed them into a lucrative career.

AND...(drum roll..........................)

* * * Licky Louse * * * - (had great plan for future Licky Louse Club, but was betrayed by Walt Disney and YOU-KNOW-WHO (the filthy rodent)! Licky took his own life by jumping into a vat of hot melted butter. He was undoubtedly the greatest "toon" of them all.)

I would appreciate it if other unsung cartoon characters of film and TV got a brief moment of recognition here...the recognition that the industry and public never gave them.

Thank you very much. Now I am going to go out and get very, very drunk.

- Ralphy Rabbit (the Star you never knew)

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: pdq
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 07:17 PM

Related to, but not exactly 'on subject' is the story of the Gaynor family. There were actually four kids:

Mitzi Gaynor became a pinup girl in the 1950's, apparently not knowing that WW II was over.

Fred "Half" Gaynor was a famous dwarf in the "Circus Boy" movies, best known for saying "hand me the pliers".

Siegfried "Full" Gaynor was the world hotdog-eating champion in 1963.

Gloria, who was not pleased with the rest of her family, showed it by singing "I Will Survive".

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 07:23 PM

if I had time, I'd tell the whole story of the Nelson family. Full, Half and Ozzie.....

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Ebbie
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 07:26 PM

Ralphy, I've heard of you! So now you spend your days getting drunk? With food stamps, no less. I'm embarrassed for you.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST,Loretta Louse
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 07:33 PM

Everything Ralphy said is true, except that it was Mitzi Gaynor to whom he meant to compare the great Andrew J. Morgenstern IV, the tapdancing gorilla. Mitzi had great legs, but she couldn't tapdance like Andrew could. Licky was my great uncle, a true gentleman, and he was probably the most talented insect in the history of film. He is greatly missed. We also had the good fortune to know Ima de Best, because he stayed at our apartment once for 3 weeks. He was amazing. If he had been a human being, I feel sure that he would be as well known today in Mexico as Benito Juarez.

When Licky threatened to sue "the rodent" for blatantly stealing his Licky Louse Club idea, a bunch of "heavies" showed up at his house late one night with baseball bats and a can of bug spray. Licky was not afraid of them, but they threatened to rub out the entire family. Licky couldn't allow his own interests to imperil his wife and children, so he walked away into the sunset. He tried to get work at the other studios, but Disney had blacklisted him. All the doors were closed. It was over for Licky. The vat of hot butter may have killed his body, but it was Hollywood that killed his spirit.

I dearly hope that "the rodent" has had a few sleepless nights over it, that's all I can say.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: open mike
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 09:26 PM

actually i think there was Henry...
who didn't have any hair. HE may
have had a pal named Sally whose
hair sort of looked like a scrub brush.

how about the Katzenjammer kids?

Gasoline Alley? I do not see these
comics these days.

and i miss gary larson,
but he DID make it, and
chose to back off of his
own accord.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Cluin
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 09:29 PM

Sucky the Tick wasn't too popular on Saturday mornings I remember. Got yanked off the air and replaced with Hong Kong Phooey.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST,Felix the Cat
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 09:45 PM

I was a big item once. So were Archy and Mehitabel, but that was literature. Still, they were really in much the same field, I think. Mehitabel was a cool cat to whom I could very much relate. Archy was a cockroach with a great soul, God rest it.

I don't miss the fame. I have retired to a quiet life in California, not far from the famed Cannery Row. I look back on those glory days with a warm feeling. I have no regrets.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: number 6
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 09:56 PM

Bert the Turtle.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Cluin
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 09:58 PM

Tippy Turtle on SNL about 20 odd years ago.

Hey, Tippy Turtle
Whatcha gonna do today?
First I'm gonna bother ev'rybody I see
Then I'll prob'ly go home an' get drunk

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 10:20 PM

And Crusader Rabbit and his pal, Rags the Tiger, who was ripped off by Hobbes. Or Dudley Doright's horse, who by his great acting upstaged Dud once too often and ended up as Alpo. Or -- dare I mention? -- Sniffles, Mary Jane's mouse "friend." Green Lantern's youthful sidekick, Dimbulb. The Blue Tick. Major Canada, somewhat less well known than Captain America. And, of course, Heckle and Jeckle.

Ah, corporate America's beancounter culture has so very much to answer for!

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST,Conway Coon
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 10:29 PM

You are so right, Rapaire! They have no conscience. I had a promising career planned. I was to play a dashing Zorro-like racoon hero who rescues other forest animals from the nefarious plots of bad guy developers led by arch-villain Mad Major Quantrill who goes around bulldozing the natural habitat. Then affirmative action came along. They decided that my name, "Conway Coon" had racist connotations, and the show was axed! Can you believe that? I AM a racoon! How can my name be deemed racist by anyone? It's ridiculous. I'm not racist, they are specist! I have had to eke out a living working in a convenience store. I could have been a contender.

I may consider a segue into country music...

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Cluin
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 10:32 PM

Captain Canuck and his sidekick Al Coholic.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST,Mr Gator
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 10:34 PM

I had a small comic strip going in the 50's and early 60's. It was cute, but it's gone now. I basically lost out to Walt Kelly's Albert Alligator. I was cuter.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: frogprince
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 11:14 PM

Then there was Winky the one-eyed wonder lizard...

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: number 6
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 12:31 AM

Does anyone remember what song Bert the Turtle sang??

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Peace
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 12:45 AM

Reminds me of an episode of "Barney Miller" in which a guy was arrested and taken to the station. Deitrich asked him why he was so sad. He said he was sad because no one ever laughed at his jokes. Deitrich asked him his name. The comedian replied, "David Hitler."

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Cluin
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 04:13 AM

Wasn't that a Hill Street Blues episode, with Vic Hitler, the narcoleptic comic?

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 08:36 AM

Winky Dink was on TV during the mid-1950s. I wonder what ever happened to him? Anybody know?

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: gnu
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 08:43 AM

It was originally "Bugger the Bunny", but, with a little PR makeover, it eventually became successful.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 08:46 AM

And don't forget the re-spelling of Elmer Fudd's last name.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST, Topsie
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 09:12 AM

and not exactly cartoons, but do you remember the Bumblies?

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: number 6
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 10:09 AM

Where they like Bill and Ben the Flower Pot Men?

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: EBarnacle
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 10:26 AM

What, no one recalls Okie Doaks, from the court of King Korny?

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Cool Beans
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 12:21 PM

I remember Okey Doaks, and Princess Pomona, his girlfriend.
But what of Alice the Malice and Craig the Plague, a coupla Dennis the Menace comic book knockoffs?
Peter Potamus.
Wuff the Prairie Dog.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: wildlone
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 01:36 PM

The Bumblies song-
Bumbly, Bumbly what do you say?
Let's sing a Bumbly tune.
Bumbly, Bumbly flying away
And shooting over the moon.
I'm Bumbly number one.
I'm Bumbly two, that's me.
I'm the one that's not very bright -
I'm Bumbly number three

The Bumblies

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 04:48 PM

Anybody remember Tobar the 8th man? (there's a prehistoric monster that's come from outer space / it's (something something something) to destroy the human race / the FBI is helpless, it's 20 stories tall! Whom shall we get whom shall we call? Call Tobar, the 8th man - faster than a rocket, swifter than a jet, he's the mighty Tobar, he's the one to get! Call Tobar...) - he had a big 8 on his shirt. This is all I remember about him, other than this had to be before 1966 when we went to Africa, and I thought it was "the ape man" until I noticed the 8.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Charmion
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 04:49 PM

I've heard that Oswald the Rabbit ended up sipping Aqua Velva under a bridge, after YOU KNOW WHO squeezed him out of Unca Walt's affections.

And whatever happened to Andy Panda, and Cecil the Seasick Sea Serpent and his little pal Beanie? (Practically the very first thing I remember seeing on television, circa 1960.)

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Cluin
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 05:12 PM

Andy Panda ended up working as a fluffer for the Thundercats.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Charmion
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 05:27 PM

Roger Ramjet, he's our man, the hero of our nation,
The only thing that's wrong with him is mental retardation!

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 08:29 PM

Some of the Cartoon characters sitting around the Old Tunes Retirement Home are sadder than the ones that never made it. What about the King of Saturday Morning Cartoons? The mouse who made Micky look like a hairdresser? The one who made "Here I come to save the day!" a common figure of speech in the 50s and 60s? The James Bond of rodents who nailed Krakatoa Katy after he lassoed the volcano shut with a cable from the Golden gate Bridge? Mighty Mouse!! What the hell happened? They made a feature film of Inspector Gadget and left Mighty Mouse to fade into a dim memory?! Where's the justice in that? Don't we need him more than ever, really? Jeez.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 08:38 PM

Please, someone, post the words and chords for the Bill And Ben theme song.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 09:20 PM

Winky Dink, and you
Winky Dink, and me
We are pals through fair and stormy weather.
Presto-chango, that's a thing of the past
Winko, winko works twice as fast....


Ah, ou sont les chansons d'antan?

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: number 6
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 09:28 PM

"Bill and Ben... Bill and Ben...
      Bill and Ben, Bill and Ben, Flowerpot Men!"

That's the best I can come up with Bob.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Severn
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 09:35 PM

Anyone remember the League of Animal Super Heros?:

Public Serpent

Trouble Bruin

The Lone Shark

Wonder Whooo, (The Telepathic Owl)

and a couple of nice Catholic girls, MagnifiCat! & The Flying Buttress-Nanny Goat Of Steel!("Nice butt, girl!")

....to go with that overpowering SheSkunk, Maid Scents-Defender Of Law 'n' Odor

"Take THAT!, Insti-Gator!!!!"....Ahhh yes! Those were the days!


.....And who could ever forget the short-lived attempt at a male action hero to cross over to the Saturday Morning Little Girl Market, none other than.....

RAMBO BRITE!!!!

"I'LL teach you to mess with The Color Folk, Hugh Neutral! EAT HOT SPECTRUM, INFIDEL!!!"

"You'll never put any MORE kids to sleep, Lord Kumbaya!"


(Lasted about two weeks.....)


At one time...."All part of this nutritious breakfast!" And far more absorbing than Sponge Bob.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST,Ralphy Rabbit
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 09:44 PM

Oh, my aching head....

I am just in tears here over all this. So much promise, so many broken dreams...

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST,Popeye
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 10:03 PM

I yam disgustipated! Ralphy Rabbit is tellin' lies about how I stole the thunder from Pie-Eye the Sailor Man. I yam innocent! Pie-Eye was an okay guy, but he had some weaknesses. I yam not the type to gossip, so I ain't sayin' what they was, but I did not steal nothin' from him. If you was in reach, Ralphy, your head would be achin' worse, lemme tell ya! What nerve! I yam infuriorated!

Popeye the (real) Sailor Man

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST,Brutus
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 10:12 PM

Get over and let me puch ya right in the eye ya sissy sailor!

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Severn
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 11:22 PM

Hey, Sailor!

You may have been strong to the Finnish, Popeye, but the Swedish preferred your rival! However, they DO prefer your FRIED chicken, (even if they stole the rights to "Chicken Pot-Pie" from you!)

And if you were REALLY any good, You'd have a successful chain of SPINACH restaurants. You're just lucky those N'awlins folks made some money off your dance craze years ago and still have a soft spot in their hearts and wallets for you. Not enough to include ANY spinach (or yams, for that matter) on the menu, of course! Now, by the time they'd actually cooked your spinach, it would likely be charred anyway, but the Collard Folks would probably still like it!

(My apologies to the Green Collard Workers. Fuzzy Zoeller made me tell that joke!)

...And how many poor kids got deformed forearms from eating that vile green stuff? And blue toes? What kind of steroids did they lace that s**t with anyway?!?!

What's more, if those folks could have read the funnies in the Chinese papers, They's know that "General Tso's Chicken" was far more hilarious than you ever were, and HE'D have the franchise.

SO THERE!

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Peace
Date: 26 Aug 05 - 12:51 AM

"Wasn't that a Hill Street Blues episode, with Vic Hitler, the narcoleptic comic?"

Cluin, you might be right. But for some reason I have Deitrich in the pictue. But, my memory ain't what it used to be and never was (with thanks to Will Rogers).

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: dianavan
Date: 26 Aug 05 - 02:38 AM

Baron Barracuda ?????

A vague memory.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: SharonA
Date: 26 Aug 05 - 02:59 AM

GUEST Mrr(zy?):

I remember the 8th Man. Also I remember that his name was spelled "TOBOR" (because it was "robot" spelled backward). No one was supposed to know that Mr. Tobor was a robot, so this clever cover-up was devised; I remember being surprised that the inventor of such a mechanical marvel wasn't smart enough to come up with a better ruse.

I remember that Tobor used to change from his disguise-as-a-human to his costume-with-number-8-on-chest in an odd way: a vertical line would appear down the center of his body and then the two sections of his body would retract somehow, like a Star Trek door opening up, revealing the different costume behind the "panels" of the "door". I recall that the sound effect for this was similar to an ocarina going halfway up a major scale (and the change back to the Mr. Tobor disguise was accompanied by the ocarina going back down that half-scale). Or was it down and then back up? Either way, it was cheesy.

I found the lyrics to his theme song:

There's a prehistoric monster who came from outer space,
Created by the Martians to destroy the human race.
The F.B.I. is helpless. It's 20 stories tall.
What can we do?
Who can we call?

Call TOBOR, The 8th Man
Call TOBOR, The 8th Man
Faster than a rocket, quicker than a jet,
He's the mighty robot, he's the one to get.
Call TOBOR, The 8th Man
Quick, call TOBOR, the mightiest robot of them all.

Seems that Ralph Bakshi worked on the animation for the show's title sequence, according to this site: http://www.alphalink.com.au/~roglen/tobor.htm (the site includes a link to listen to the song)

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 26 Aug 05 - 04:04 AM

Old UK TV Bits

What about the Boy's from the Bush remember them?
There was Pappy George 'Gulf' Bush and the kids George 'What National Guard' Junior, and Jeb 'Where the fuck is Florida' Bush. I wonder whatever happened to them, they were really funny weren't they?
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Severn
Date: 26 Aug 05 - 07:04 AM

Wasn't Baron Barracuda a puppet dangled from on high in the absolutely horrible low-low-budget "Diver Dan", where a guy in a deep sea diver's mask walked around against a blue backdrop talking to wooden fish on strings? Production values were almost non-existant in this one. (Uh oh! Now all the divers out there will bring up the divers-ity question!). Anyway, I always wondered what a nice guy like Dan was doing in a dive like that in the first place!

I'd think that maybe the Puppets Of Yesterday's Saturdays could "stand having a few threads of their own" (so to speak). Someone should definately take a hand in this.

And what about live-action animals, like Lancelot Link?

.....Ahhhh, but they're NOT cartoons!

As for "The Boys From The Bush", Giok, Saturday morning half-hour animated Op-Ed Toons could be the next frontier. Work on it!

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Severn
Date: 26 Aug 05 - 09:09 AM

Licky Louse actually got all his best lines from the ancient Chinese philosopher, Lao Tsze. A case of Poetic Lice-Sense, I guess!

And as for Conway Coon, your brother Ty atually had a running supporting role on Deputy Dawg for a few years, so what are you griping about?!?! Ty, as I remember, was in serious consideration in the '70s as running mate in the Muskie Campaign. Hey, you could be like a California Raisin, and have no Bran Recognition at whatsoever!

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 05 - 09:15 AM

The shortest running cartoon series I know of starred Larry Lynx and his sidekick, Vic Vole. You might remember the first and only show, where they got lost in the mountains and Larry got so very, very, hungry....

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: MMario
Date: 26 Aug 05 - 09:21 AM

8THman site

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: MMario
Date: 26 Aug 05 - 09:31 AM

This brazilian site has a picture of 8th Man smoking his "special cigarette" to renew his energy....

http://www.mofolandia.com.br/index_anime.htm

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: bobad
Date: 26 Aug 05 - 09:55 AM

Mr.Wong - he never made the big time but you can catch his show here

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: bobad
Date: 26 Aug 05 - 09:56 AM

If you liked Mr.Wong check out Jesus and his brothers.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: SharonA
Date: 26 Aug 05 - 02:56 PM

Thanks for the sites, MMario! I'd forgotten about Tobor's energy cigarettes. Can you imagine him trying to re-energize nowadays? Lots of scenes of him excusing himself to go outside the office, a restaurant, etc., for a smoke -- hmmm, doesn't exactly move the plot along. Besides, the villains would always know where to find him -- they'd just zap all the groups of smokers on the sidewalks and parking lots till they got 'im (while anti-smoking lobbyists cheered them along). Nah, I guess ol' Tobor wouldn't "make it" in TV these days.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST,Andy the Accountant
Date: 26 Aug 05 - 06:50 PM

So after the raging success of "Bob the Builder" some genius studio execs decided to pilot some other shows of an alliterative occupational nature. There was me, Andy the Accountant, and Carl the Chemist, Randy the Radiologist and lots of others. We all went over like lead balloons. The only one that came close to flying was Milton the Mechanic, but the studio couldn't get him to stop calling hard-to-reach sparkplugs "filthy fuckin' whores" and that just wouldn't do with a mostly preschool audience.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 26 Aug 05 - 09:13 PM

Did 8th Man smoke Mary Jane Brand cigaretes?

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Peace
Date: 27 Aug 05 - 12:09 AM

Mickey the Rat

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Aug 05 - 12:43 AM

Spunky and Tadpole?

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Cluin
Date: 27 Aug 05 - 12:51 AM

Contrary to popular belief, Archie Andrews never made it.

If he would have just quit chasing that stuck-up bitch Veronica, Betty would have let him get his end away long ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Peace
Date: 27 Aug 05 - 01:15 AM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Aug 05 - 11:56 AM

Ronnie Wood and Blondie!
G..

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST,Veronica Rutledge
Date: 27 Aug 05 - 01:37 PM

You are clueless as usual, Cluin. Your offensive remark about Veronica Lodge is nothing more than envious sniping at your betters, in my opinion. I have rather modelled myself after Veronica, my namesake as it were, although she is a brunette and I am not. (I have hair the colour of dark honey, which suits my complexion really quite well.) Veronica has style and she knows how to use it. Betty is a nice girl, but really quite ordinary. She's the kind who ends up working behind a counter, marrying some stupid yobbo who drinks too much, and turning into a fat frump with curlers in her hair in some pathetic walk-up in East London filled with screaming kids.

Veronica Lodge, however, is the type who dates gorgeous men from all over the world, travels to places like Monaco and St Tropez, and gets her picture on the front of famous magazines. My type, in other words. I have studied these things quite carefully, using the example of my Aunt Penelope as my inspiration, and I am now approaching what Aunt Penelope terms the "dangerous age". I intend, like Veronica in the Archie comics, to have adventures, go interesting places, and see interesting people who are fun and extremely rich. The cream does rise to the top, you know.

As for that silly Archie Andrews, I imagine you are right. He's soooo pedestrian. Veronica would never surrender her virtue to a boy like him. Not a chance. Sad to say, there simply ARE no desirable boys in that comic. Not one. Reggie thinks he's desirable, but he's wrong. Archie thinks so too...and he is DEAD wrong! LOL! Even Jughead is cooler than Archie, in my opinion.

* Veronica

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST,Ron Davies
Date: 27 Aug 05 - 03:36 PM

Mortimer Mouse needed a makeover and a name change.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 05 - 04:13 PM

Mortimer Mouse was Mickey's brother, according to Berke Breathed's Outland.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Azizi
Date: 27 Aug 05 - 05:39 PM

Severn,

I'm just reading this thread, and want to tell you how much I liked your witty 25 Aug 05 - 11:22 PM post.

I have to admit that it took me two reads to get "srong to the Finnish" , but the play on words that I have to give you the most props for are:

"Now, by the time they'd actually cooked your spinach, it would likely be charred anyway, but the Collard Folks would probably still like it!

(My apologies to the Green Collard Workers....}"

"Collard folks"- LOL!!



Azizi

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST,Ron Davies
Date: 27 Aug 05 - 06:06 PM

According to Disney, Mortimer was Minnie Mouse's uncle, "retconned"---- (how's that for a word?--contraction of retroactive continuity)---- in 1936.

Mortimer Mouse was also, as you're probably aware, Disney's name for Mickey, before his wife suggested Mickey was a better choice.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: gnu
Date: 27 Aug 05 - 06:46 PM

Originally, it was Mickey Moose, but, back then, production costs for the extensive artwork reduced the character to a mouse.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Aug 05 - 06:58 PM

The Simsons did a show about many of the old cartoon characters that didn't make it.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Aug 05 - 08:34 PM

The Simpsons never would have made it either...back when North American society was still more or less sane and half-reasonable. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Cluin
Date: 28 Aug 05 - 01:25 AM

Whatever that means.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST,Daisy and Minnie
Date: 28 Aug 05 - 09:33 AM

Yes, it's us. Donald and Mickey's long-suffering girlfriends. We're posting this together to let you know the truth about these bastards.

This is Daisy. I gotta tell ya, that Donald is one sex-crazy sonofabitch. If I hadn't had my oviduct tied years ago I'd be the mother of who know how many little Donnies. And do you know why he talks like that? Because he's drunk all the time, that's why! Crazy duck wears that sailor suit, do you know how many times I've tryied to get him to wear a shirt and tie, but only to be tossed aside for that thing he wears? And it gets sooooooooo filthy, what with the slobber he spits out when he's mad.

Honey, you got it easy! (This is Minnie.) You know why Mickey's voice is so high? You ever hear of "mouse balls?" Well, he ain't got any. And don't come around to me about those "nephews" of his, because they're really a couple of guys he picked up at one of "those" bars. No, in that first film he made, "Steamboat Willie" it was called, he got his willie caught in the, well, it's not nice to talk about it. Anyway, it should have been called "Steamboat Unwilly."

Come on, girlfriend, let's have another beer and go see Pluto and Horace.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Tannywheeler
Date: 28 Aug 05 - 10:21 AM

Ebbie, I remembered Mighty Mouse, too, coming to save the day. It was operatic, all sung.

Back in the early '50s there was a bakery that delivered in Rockville Center, out on Long Island outside of NYC. Great 7-layer cake and eclairs. In each delivery there was a "comic book" of stories about a prince of something or other who rode around on?/in? a swan(boat). Everything was pretty. Memory's pretty faint. Tw

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Aug 05 - 12:54 PM

I detested Mighty Mouse, for some reason. Well, I'll tell you what is was. I had noticed that there was, for some reason, a conspiracy of prejudice against cats in the cartoons and comics. Cats were being unfairly picked on, abused, and depicted as bad guys by a host of ridiculous, self-righteous, wisecracking mouse characters. I hate that sort of thing. Accordingly, I hated Mighty Mouse with a passion.

But not as much as I hated the fecking ROAD RUNNER!!!!   ARRGH! I wanted to see him die hideously, after being subjected to ever torture and indignity the coyote mind could devise.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Cluin
Date: 28 Aug 05 - 01:01 PM

I could never figure that Roadrunner cartoon out. By the time the Coyote had finished squashing, lasering or blowing-up his intended prey, there'd be fuck-all left to eat. With his credit limit for devices from ACME, why didn't he just order some take-out KFC?

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Cluin
Date: 28 Aug 05 - 01:03 PM

Then sit back and wait for the West Nile virus or that new Avian Flu thingy to knock off the roadrunner...

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Aug 05 - 01:11 PM

In the case of the Roadrunner, whose only real purpose was to endlessly tantalize, torture, and frustrate Wile E. Coyote, using any weapon on the little bastard would have been justifiable, including nuclear devices. If Wile E. had decided to just retire to Florida and forget all about the Roadrunner, I'm sure the wretched thing would have gone there after him and started buzzing past his front porch 85 times a day until he snapped. What a stupid cartoon it was.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Cluin
Date: 28 Aug 05 - 01:12 PM

...I'd like to see the coyote eat the road runner
And I'd like to see Knievel blown to bits
I'd like to see Rex Humbard lay his hands upon Maude Aimee
But I'd love to see that Dolly Parton's tits...

    ~McLean & McLean

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST,Ron Davies
Date: 28 Aug 05 - 01:14 PM

LH--

You're dead right about the anti-cat prejudice then in cartoons and comics. It was pretty blatant.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Cluin
Date: 28 Aug 05 - 01:17 PM

There was one cartoon where old Wile E. talked and was after Bugs Bunny. He got his ass kicked there too, after proclaiming himself "Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius".

Basically, America (et al) dislikes intellect and loves to see them get their comeuppance. They prefer their bumbling loveable morons. Hence their Comm-in-Chief (minus the loveable part).

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Cluin
Date: 28 Aug 05 - 01:18 PM

I dunno. Fritz the Cat got laid a lot. And Top Cat got away with a lot.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 28 Aug 05 - 07:27 PM

My favourite is Wile E. I collect his stuff, and it is very hard to get her in Australia. He is the continual underdog with a superiority complex - always having to prove just oho clever he is, but he ain't all that bright. A true anti-intellectual. Once read an article in Playboy (see!) about him suing ACME Co. He lost - he wasn't using their gadgets for their intended purposes... just love him!

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST,Elmer Fudd
Date: 28 Aug 05 - 07:47 PM

My bwother Thaddeus could never catch a bweak. The bwacklisting duwing the McCawthy ewa weawy hurt his caweer. All because he once scwewed Wonald Weagan's girlfwiend back in the twenties.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Severn
Date: 28 Aug 05 - 08:22 PM

Little known fact:

Poor blacklisted Lickey Louse's last screen appearence before his tragic demise was an uncredited stunt turn in a religious movie called "Sects, Lice & Videotape".

....As for Sucky Tick, I always kinda liked his sidekicks Looney & Spazz and his Country Cousin Russ. And his girlfriend "Lips" was pretty hot!

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 04:59 AM

We certainly didn't...

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 08:59 AM

Little known fact: Wile E. Coyote was originally Wile E. Coli, and the Road Runner was originally called Lunch Runner. Photographic difficulties (and good taste) required the change to non-microscopic creatures.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 02:16 PM

Yes, it is I, Mrrzy. Those of you who remember the 8th man, where did you grow up / where do you remember him from?

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Severn
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 05:50 PM

Where have you been Mrrzy? We've been BEGGING for you! We dote on you! ("Mrrzy dotes and dozy dotes and little kids need IVs....." or however that went....)

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Jan 08 - 02:50 PM

Peter Wheat

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: SINSULL
Date: 21 Jan 08 - 08:33 PM

I remember Felix:
Felix the cat
The wonderful wonderful cat.
Whenever he gets in a fix
He reaches into his bag of tricks.
Felix the cat
The wonderful wonderful cat,
You'll laugh so much
Your sides will ache
Your heart will go pitter pat
Watching Felix the wonderful cat.

As for Diver Dan:
He moves among creatures of frightening features...
He protects and he guards his friends under the sea
That's where you'll find Diver Dan.

How about Towlie, the druggy towel? Lame at best.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Mrrzy
Date: 22 Jan 08 - 05:45 PM

Can't believe I just found this... thank you for your dotage!

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Slag
Date: 22 Jan 08 - 09:16 PM

Does anybody remember Leonardo Lion? King of Bongo Kongo? My baby sister loved that one and I 'd always watch it with her. Curse with a memory that retains just about every useless fact I remember the opening song:
   
   Here comes Leonardo, Leonardo Lion
   King of Bongo Kongo, that hero lion of Iron.
   And there's Odio Cologney who's loyal and true blue
   That royal skunk with skill and spunk comes through to save the day

   I say there's the booming Hunter and wiry, witty Fox
   And Tutor who brings fun to you in Wizard's magic box

   There's Biggy with his pistols and Itchy with his fleas
   They plot against the Kingdom to over throw the King
   But Odio Cologney steps in to change the play
   That royal skunk with skill and spunk comes thru to save the day!

Or something like that.
With regards to Licky Louse, Mr. Krabs is now appearing with Spongebob Squarepants and is doing quite well but Licky would definitely be a more interesting character, IMO.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 09:02 AM

I always thought Mighty Mouse kinda got it in the shorts.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: kendall
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 10:11 AM

I remember Horace Horsecollar,
Henry,
The Little King
Stanley (work horse)
Sparkplug, Barney Google's horse.
Smokey Stover
"Riddles Barlow"
Clara the cow. Had huge nostrils
TNT and Dan the dynamite
The Doll man
The Atom. He used to travel by roller skating on the telephone wires.
Captain America
Battle Brady
Combat Kelly

Most were too silly to survive.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 10:46 AM

I remember Farmer Gray - Hungarian Rhapsody with cats and mice chasing each other and only occasional dialogue.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 02:17 PM

Smokey Stover
The Yellow Kid
Buster Brown (who we thought was a pantywaist)
Sergeant Rock of Easy Company
Phoebe Zeitgeist
Barbarella

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: kendall
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 03:47 PM

The Yellow Kid was the first cartoon character to appear in an American Newspaper.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 04:02 PM

Don't forget the Katzenjammer Kids and that crazy brick-throwing alleycat with stripes whos ename I have forgot....



A

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 05:56 PM

Krazy Kat.

There was also "our Boarding House With Major Hoople" and the one about Jiggs and Maggie.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 06:56 PM

It's really nice having you around, Rapaire. Every home should be equipped with a big strong clever librarian.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 09:48 PM

Yeah, who has swords.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 10:06 PM

I had a character named Thin Man
He was a super hero in the 2D world since he could turn on one axis and essentially disappear from his other 2 D associates.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: bobad
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 10:42 PM

There was the shape shifting, funnel hatted Tom Terrific, and his trusty sidekick Mighty Manfred the Wonder Dog, and their mortal foil Crabby Appleton. Also Gerald McBoing Boing - I wonder what they're up to today?

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 03:19 AM

Cool McCool

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 09:03 AM

Don't forget Winky Dink.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GLoux
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 10:25 AM

remember Oil Can Harry, Mighty Mouse's nemesis...

Lippy the Lion and Hardy Har Har?

Who said "Heavens to Mergatroid?"

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: kendall
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 12:13 PM

Snagglepuss said that.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: kendall
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 12:16 PM

Snidely Whiplash
Dudley Dooright
...something Duck, the cockeyed wonder
Sniffles and Mary Jane
Was it Tom Terrific who also had a nemesis called the master cylinder?

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: kendall
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 03:58 PM

Smiling Jack
Sparkey Watts
Ally Oop
Big Chief Wahoo
The Gren Lanturn
Submariner
Plastic Man
Joe Palooka

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: GLoux
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 04:42 PM

Clutch Cargo

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 05:08 PM

The Magenta Maggot

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: john f weldon
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 05:20 PM

Has anyone mentioned Walt Disney's first character, Oswald Rabbit? Walt"s creation was "ripped off" and given to Walter Lantz, of Woody Woodpecker fame, and fell into obscurity.
Walt's second character, Mickey Mouse, was better protected, and is still alive and kicking.
Or, at least, squealing.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: kendall
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 07:20 PM

I remember Clutch Cargo. Used to watch it with my girls when we lived in Rockport Mass.(1962)

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: kendall
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 07:23 PM

The Shield and his sidekick, Dusty
Vigilante. (rode a motorcycle)

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Nick E
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 08:36 PM

I have to say I am running about a 96% recognition rate on these guys. SO many posts, and so many things i want to say to most of them, I'm just going to have to let 99.9% of it go.
So here is the other .1% or less...

Winky Dink was a problem because the kids kept drawing on the screen without the plastic sheet that made the show an interactive experience in the late 60's Early 70's

I have a female co-worker, late 40's who admits to a physical attraction to Mighty Mouse.

Surprised no one I noticed has mentioned these borderline individuals...
Marine Boy, Gigantor, Kimba, the White Lion - for animation, or Thunderbunny for comics.

Not surprised no one mentioned these of my own invention...
Enormouse ( Yup a superhero who was a VERY Large Mouse) or The Elephant Lamb, a misunderstood crime solving Victorian Ovine with a bag over it's head.

I love this thread

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 08:45 PM

Winky Dink was '50s, man.

Subject: RE: BS: Cartoon Characters who didn't make it.
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 09:56 PM

Hey guys and girls, if you visit www.toonpedia.com you can get a      
'biography' of many of the characters mentioned above...and many, many more.
Also there are a couple of sites whence one can download, free, old comic books, of all genres, and read them on-screen...though I suppose someone computer savvy could print them out. Caveat, some of the scans are hard to read; some are quite clear. www.goldenagecomics.co.uk is one site that comes to mind.