BS: Immutable Truths

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 08:13 PM

an immutable conundrum from my father:

"If you were carrying all the feathers you could carry, could you carry one more?"

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: frogprince
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 07:57 PM

In the U.S.Navy, everyone shares at least one nickname in common.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Shambles
Date: 30 Sep 05 - 06:18 PM

This IS a job for Superman.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: GUEST,DB
Date: 30 Sep 05 - 05:59 PM

A bloke I used to work with, years ago, used to say: "you never know your luck until a dead horse kicks you".

I suppose he had a point ... ?

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: frogprince
Date: 29 Sep 05 - 08:44 PM

not absolutely certain of this, but I think the thread list for Sept. 28th is the shortest for any day on which the 'cat was awake at any time...

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Crystal
Date: 29 Sep 05 - 06:45 AM

I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it and you can't prove anything!

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 29 Sep 05 - 03:15 AM

And two things I learned in the military.....
1.Never upset the pay staff or the cook.
2.If you want to be totally invisible, walk around with a pen and note pad in hand while appearing to "check" things :-)

I don't think 2 advisable - you might get redirected to another task (own experience). A really foolproof method is recommended by my friend Don Pedro (a real Ph.D., oriental languages), Pte, retd: Dip your hand into the waste oil barrel and grab a spanner. No superior will think of giving you additional orders - you are too dirty for the job.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Shambles
Date: 27 Sep 05 - 05:52 AM

You very rarely manage to tread walked-in tread dogshit all over an old carpet...........

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: gnomad
Date: 27 Sep 05 - 05:16 AM

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it do backstroke.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Paul Burke
Date: 27 Sep 05 - 03:51 AM

When things go wrong and will not come right,
Though you do the best you can,
When life looks black as the hour of night -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: JennyO
Date: 27 Sep 05 - 03:45 AM

It's a wise crow that knows which way the camel points.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Dead Horse
Date: 27 Sep 05 - 03:17 AM

You can lead a horse to water, but man is still a dogs best friend!
And two things I learned in the military.....
1.Never upset the pay staff or the cook.
2.If you want to be totally invisible, walk around with a pen and note pad in hand while appearing to "check" things :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: bobad
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 10:01 AM

Work is the curse of the drinking man.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Moses
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 07:56 AM

If you are trying to repair your car/clock/washing machine and you accidently drop an important and vital part, it will ALWAYS decend to the least accessible place.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 06:55 AM

Art (this includes Music) is for those who can't handle reality.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Shambles
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 02:12 AM

Reality is only for those who can't face drugs.

*Smiles*

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 01:24 AM

Just re-read my post above, and found to my complete despair that I mis-spelled "Hoggamus" in the first line.

There's a rather interesting story about that little verse. Aldous Huxley was among the first experimenters with LSD. During an early trip Huxley was struck with sudden inspiration, scribbled something on a scrap of paper, and stuck it in the pocket of his overcoat. Several days later, Huxley suddenly recalled this moment of pure understanding, rushed to the coat-rack, and discovered the above cited poem.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: John O'L
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 07:40 PM

...or

No matter how you jump and dance
The last few drops go down your pants

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: frogprince
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 07:28 PM

No matter how hard you shake it,
No matter how much you squeeze,
You'll always find that one last drop
gets in your bvds.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Shambles
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 04:57 PM

If you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs - you have yet to meet Madame Guillotine.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 03:08 PM

When you find yourself on a highway and all the traffic is coming toward you, you have to ask yourself if they know something you don't.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Amos
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 02:44 PM

Ya go someplace, you don't stay there long.

(The unofficial motto of the potsmoking community of Shimer College in 1962).

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Metchosin
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 01:30 PM

It is better to have been loved and lost, than never to have been lost at all.

Wherever you go, there you are.

Where there's folks, there's mire.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Don Firth
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 01:09 PM

If you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs, they you're the only one who doesn't understand what's happening!   

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: pdq
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 01:09 PM

Bugs look bigger after they hit your windshield.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 01:04 PM

higgamus hoggaus
woman's monogamous
hoggamus higgamus
man is polygamous

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: JennyO
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 11:19 AM

John, I know the one your dad used to say too. Maybe it's just an Australian thang.

Meanwhile, nothing changes until it becomes what it is......


Which is 100 posts :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 11:12 AM

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

The crow of a hen and the whistle of a woman calls the devil from his lair...Nana Sullivan

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Shambles
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 08:35 AM

If the world's current population were to join hands and stretch around the earth - an awful lot of them would drown.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Barden of England
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 08:35 AM

It ain't all over 'til the fat bastard snores.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 08:26 AM

If you can keep your head when all around you are panicking and losing theirs, then obviously you haven't got a damn clue just what is going on.

(What really happened with George & Katrina!)

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: John O'L
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 07:11 AM

If you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs you'll be the tallest one in the crowd.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Shambles
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 07:03 AM

If things do not change - they will remain the same.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: John O'L
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 07:41 PM

The higher the fewer

My dad used to say that. I once asked him what it meant and he told me 'Ah, it's just a silly thing to say.'
He also used to say 'Well, if that's lunch, I've had it.'

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 07:20 PM

It's not the wrong size glass,
it's the wrong size beer!

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 12:34 PM

Today is the last day of the first part of your life!


The glass in neither half empty or half full...it is the wrong size glass.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: JennyO
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 10:53 AM

And the higher the fewer...

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 07:49 PM

The longer the thread.







The more times it has been pulled.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Shambles
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 03:30 PM

The longer the thread.







The more times it has been contributed to.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: pdq
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 03:26 PM

Questionable data can be made more impressive by carrying all numbers out to four significant figures.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Don Firth
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 03:06 PM

AMEN!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: frogprince
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 02:53 PM

The dumber the premise...










the longer the thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: GUEST,clogger
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 07:36 AM

Oh yes and...
Perversity tends toward a maximum

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: GUEST,clogger
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 07:34 AM

previewing messages svves spelling nistakes

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 07:11 AM

Remember that today is yesterday's tomorrow.

So, hop to it!

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: John O'L
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 04:09 AM

...or failing that, put off until the day after tomorrow.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Partridge
Date: 23 Sep 05 - 04:06 AM

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 22 Sep 05 - 06:39 PM

In this wicked world we live in,
There is one thing life can teach,
Once a girl is born a lemon,
She can never be a peach.

But this life has compensations,
Something that I always preach,
You can always squeeze a lemon,
Ever tried to squeeze a peach?

DT.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Chris Green
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 08:29 PM

Life IS a bed of roses, but sooner or later you'll fall flat on your arse. Then the best thing to do is to pull the thorns out and get on with it.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: John O'L
Date: 21 Sep 05 - 05:59 PM

To the young and reckless, the sound of one hand clapping can easily be confused with the sound of one hand peeling a banana.