BS: Scotland - Closing down sale

Subject: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 08:38 AM

Just been listening to Jeremy Vine on BBC2 and apparently people are leaving Scotland in droves! The reasons given were:-
1) The country has turned into a socialist distopia where all aspects of expression are regulated against by its nanny state mentality.

2) Pay and conditions are far worse than in England.

3) The men wear skirts which frightens small children

Is any, or all of this true?

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Crystal
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 09:27 AM

errrrr yes.

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: mooman
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 09:29 AM

Oh excellent! I was thinking of moving there and it sounds eminently suitable!

Peace

moo

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Tam the man
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 09:32 AM

naw it's no

what about Morris Dancers

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 09:39 AM

If Scotland was closing down, cause the Scots were leaving, who would buy it at a bargain price?


(You have to think about that one very hard for a while!)

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 09:45 AM

Bagsy the bit around King Arthur's Seat.

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 09:50 AM

I'd settle for the ' Glen Of Tranquility '

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: mooman
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 10:12 AM

Can I have Mull and Iona please? I like their peace, tranquility and spirituality.

If those aren't available I'd settle for Barra (being a person of modest means I don't need too much space).

moo

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: alanabit
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 10:15 AM

I'll have the North Coast then Mooman. I loved the tranquility and the charming, considerate people whom I met up there as my mother spent her last days with us.

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Arnie
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 10:24 AM

Not so fast!! The Scottish Parliament has made a plea to expat Scots to return home. In fact the First Minister is off to the States shortly to try and get some of their Scots to come back! Then he's off to visit Canada, New Zealand and Australia. Anyone with Scottish parents or even grandparents is eligible, so that makes about 120 million Scots worldwide. If the campaign is successful, you won't be able to move in Scotland for overcrowding. However I cannot quite believe that anyone will want to leave the aforementioned countries to return to the land of their forefathers where it rains more often than not, petrol (gas) prices are high, taxes are even higher and there a few jobs left unless you work for the Scottish Parliament. I live on the South Coast and there are Scots all over the place here - and although they can get quite nostalgic for the auld country (esp. when they've had a wee dram), not one of them I know wants to go home permanently!!

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Bainbo
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 10:26 AM

Is it not just because someone's having a flag day?

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: manitas_at_work
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 11:00 AM

Tell them they can have a few back from the UK parliament, notably Mr Blair!

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 11:01 AM

I think we should re-nationalise it, and make Brian Sewell the puppet PM.

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 11:02 AM

Can't we just swap Scotland for a hot little island somewhere.

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: sian, west wales
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 11:30 AM

I think there's a clause in the Lowlands bill of sale that says they have to revert to the previous occupiers; that is, the Welsh.

siân

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 11:49 AM

LOL! What if one's gggrandparents were from there? I have been unexplainably homesick for it since birth and know I shall have to go there someday! And, I love to see a man in a skirt!

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: akenaton
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 12:14 PM

Flamenco ...Canny Scots are selling their crofts and "but n' bens" to the English for sqillions and leggin' it off to sunny spain where the neighbours dont "gie ye the boak"

Any tourists disappointed by the lack of men in skirts shouldn't fret too much . The English dont wear skirts, but they aw sit doon tae pee!!.....Ake

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Strollin' Johnny
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 12:47 PM

Hey Mooman, we'll start a band on Barra then? That would certainly be my island of choice. Or possibly Rum.
S:0)

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Raedwulf
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 01:42 PM

Sian - Sorry to disappoint, but the previous occupiers were the Picts, not your mob. And they won't be making a comeback because the nice friendly Scots (Irish) did their best to massacre the poor little buggers around the time of Kenneth mac Alpin!

If the Sweaties are so eager to be devolved & have their own bloody government, may we please deport all the ones 'angin' aroun' dahn 'ere, nickin' ahr bleedin' jobs, etc? Yer can 'ave Mark Forsyf back fer a start! (Nah, 'e's awright reely!) Then the sink the ruddy place. But rescue Ake first. 'E's awright fer a Sweaty... ;-)

Slightly more seriously,

1) ROFLMAO! Like England isn't a nanny state courtesy of Nanny Blair, Old Mother Brown, & their horde of appalling "children"!

2) Don't know about conditions, but doubt it. Pay will be worse, yes, but then cost of living is also considerably cheaper. So Scots come south, work & save for however long, then piss off back up north much more (relatively) wealthy. Who is taking the piss out of who? I've not seen anything to suggest that quality of life is any worse, on the whole, in Scotland than anywhere else. As far as I know, the suicide capital of the UK is still Hastings. Go south from Hastings & you fall into the Channel (which is exactly what some of the suicides do). There are some things that can't be measured in purely monetary terms.

3) Doubt it. Small children can be remarkably difficult to frighten. Not even by the sight of a Scotsman's knees...

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 03:34 PM

I don't think it's the knees that scares them...but these large bearded women....

How do you tell a scotsman apart from a woman? the thickness of their beard.

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Davetnova
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 04:42 PM

We're closed, please go away.

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 13 Oct 05 - 08:24 PM

Taking Ted seriously for a minute (probably not a good idea!)

1) The country has turned into a socialist distopia where all aspects of expression are regulated against by its nanny state mentality.
Like Raedwulf says, is England any better ?

3) The men wear skirts which frightens small children.
Not in my experince. Small Children are more tolerant than many adults, not that that's hard...

And if there is a closing down sale, I know which bit I'll have. She's in Aberdeen at the moment, and rather likes kilts...

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 12:01 AM

I think Disney has a lot to answer for. Peter Finch as Alan Breck Stewart in Kidnapped. Greyfriars Bobby. Errol Flynn in The Master of Balantrae

well it can't have helped.

also its a long way, and when you get up there what will there be? after all theres not all that much down here.... theres bound to be even less up there.

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Paul Burke
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 03:38 AM

Don't forget that the alternative to the nanny state is the billy state- like Northern Ireland perhaps?

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Terry K
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 03:56 AM

The only useful purpose the place serves is to keep all those lovely golf courses we have no room for in England.

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 03:59 AM

Dinnae fret wee Ted---Gin Ah meet ye wi' the Gordon plaid roond ma hurdies, ye'll be safe eneugh; wee dinne tend tae dae herm tae wee laddies. Big Ladies, noo THEY maun hae cause for excitement------

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 04:35 AM

"Like Raedwulf said, Is England any better?" Answer? No it bloody isn't! Thanks to the nanny Health and safety executive I now have to wear a helmet, safety googles and mittens just to use this computer! Come back common sense all is forgiven!
Scotland does have THE most glorious mountain bike circuit in Glentress, far better than anything in Wales, so I hope the Scottish Clan Chief ( or whatever passes as your leader) doesn't sell the province off to the French!

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: sian, west wales
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 04:45 AM

Raedwulf, so in the absence of any claims from the Picts, it reverts! And anyway, I think we got it in writing. I had the paper but I think someone wrapped their chips in it ...

f'ted's original post doesn't actually say that the Scots are leaving Scotland. I know that around 1987-8 you couldn't get into an estate agent's office here in West Wales for the hordes of English fighting to buy property here. 10 years later, no one was looking to buy; a lot were looking to sell. The in-migrants had realized that Good Life / Rural Idyll wasn't all it cracked up to be.

Don't know what the Scottish situation is but I used to do a lot of work with rural community development groups there and none of them seemed to want to leave ...

siân

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 05:00 AM

Jock once attended a Temperance lecture given by Scotland's top medical man, a noted anti-drink campaigner. The speaker began by placing a live, wriggling worm in a glass of whisky. After a moment or two it died and sank to the bottom.

The speaker said quietly to the audience, "Now my friends, what does
this tell us?"

Jock piped up, "If you drink whisky you'll not be bothered by worms!"

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: akenaton
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 05:03 AM

Any derogatory posts from Raedwulf on this subject should be taken witha shovelful of salt.
Raedwulf has in fact been offered the status of honourary Scot, having easily filled three of the main criteria.
Extreme parsimony, a healthy penchant for sheep and goats, and the clincher for Raedwulf, the ability to communicate in gibberish!!

Now that Raedwulf has been exposed as a closet Scot, I hope his attacks will cease forthwith.

They fool no one .....Ake

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Crystal
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 05:58 AM

"what about Morris Dancers"

Banchory Morris Men! Scotland has everything for the discerning traveller, except sun of course!

"Pay will be worse, yes, but then cost of living is also considerably cheaper."

WHERE WHERE????? I'm living in the only bit of the UK where houseprices are still skyrocketing!

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Albaman
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 06:18 AM

Why is there more flooding in the south of england in the past ten years.Because the scots are leaving the north! Its all a part of the master plan of the SNP. Droon them aw!

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 06:19 AM

It is just a ploy to get rid of all the English who are North of the border.
Either that or try to get some decent footballers to move in!

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 06:23 AM

Just been on E-Bay lots of bargins WOW!

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Tam the man
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 07:34 AM

no man in Scotland wears skirts, it's kilts.

Tam frae Scotland and a Scottish Nationalist very patriotic as well.

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 09:50 AM

I'd like to have the Talisker distillery, Mons Meg, Glencoe, and Culloden, please. And I'll need Edinburgh Castle to store Meg in.

Thanks.

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Essex Girl
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 10:10 AM

The cost of living isn't any lower in Scotland, in fact in Edinburgh it's higher.It also rains a lot especially in the west where all the magnificent scenery is. On the plus side the pubs open late and you can sing and play without being told "we haven't got a music licence"

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Crystal
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 10:12 AM

Also there will be a smoking ban soon!
But on the down side it is a VERY expensive place to live

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: GUEST,Mad Jock
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 10:36 AM

Wit ? Expensive! Aye Mon A hud tae pay 40 thoosand poons fur my hoose an it only hus wan bedroom and twa acres o garden grun. Mind yea it is only 20 minits frae ra skiing.

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Big Mick
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 11:06 AM

Giok here on Big Mick's pooter.
The two biggest landlords round where I live are the Duke of Westminster, and Mohammed El Bleedin Fayed. So it'smore a case of give us our land back you foreign bastards if the truth be told!
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: DougR
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 04:05 PM

I'd settle for an acre or two around Loch Tay.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: akenaton
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 05:29 PM

Raedwulf...Have ye room for one more in "Blighty"??

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Raedwulf
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 06:07 PM

ake - Pre-senile dementia? "A healthy penchant for sheep & goats"? And there was innocent little me thinking that was a Welsh (or Kiwi) trait. You must know something I don't. Never mind the fact that I'm less than fond of either (/any - lamb, goat, welsh, kiwi...). Now deer, dear... Venison, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... :))

But since you ask so nicely, I declare you an honorary (with a properly posh haspirated haitch) Englishman, so you can move down any time you like. After all, if you will insist on sticking a knife in my back... ;-)

R

P.S. Cost of living - try the SE sometime. Certain little bits of Scotland may be expensive, but what's the average figure?

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 07:00 PM

Headstone:"Here lies McPherson, a kind considerate gentleman and a generous, loving father"
Irish visitor;"Trust dem Scotsmen to bury three men in de one hole!!"

Digging Jock out of a snowdrift:" Are ye doon there Mister MacMab??"
"Aye---wha's that?"
"It's the Red Cross rescue crew!"
"Bugger off---I bought a flag last year!"

Auld Hamish was lying at death's door in the wee room behind the family grocer's. Tam, his eldest, was at the bedside. So were Wullie and Cameron, his other two sons.
"Whispers;"Are ye there Hamish?"
"Aye Faither---"
"You too Wullie?"
"Aye Faither---"
"And you Cameron?"
'Aye Faither---"
"AN' WHA THE HELL'S LOOKIN' EFTER THE SHOAP?!!?"

The train from London to Glasgow was emptying it's [dejected as usual] football fans after a defeat at Wembley. Tam's wife met him on the platform.
"Good game Tam?"
"Aye Maisie, but we had a bit o' excitement on the wey hame; an Englishman was kill't by the train just ayont Carlisle"
"Aw!--that was a bit rough!"
"Aye--it was so! The driver had tae cross a field tae get 'im !"

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 07:29 PM

Is there any truth in the rumour that the Grand Canyon is the result of a Scot dropping a five cent piece down a rabbit hole?

Raedwulf,

About five years ago I took a caravan tour of Bonnie Scotland, and found it much more expensive than at home (Kent, in the "affluent" southeast). Both in the tourist areas and in tiny villages off the beaten track, everyday items were pricey, and I don't think that's down to "one price for sassenachs, another for Scots.

Or is it.............?

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 15 Oct 05 - 04:11 AM

Don T.---As a Scot, I am with you on this one; some folks greedily price their Country out of the tourist market. Shame-----

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: katlaughing
Date: 15 Oct 05 - 11:26 AM

May I have Glenbogle or whatsit featured in Monarch of the Glen? Beaufitful and gorgeous and looks like hame to me! Kilts optional in the winter, of course.:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 15 Oct 05 - 11:42 AM

Agreed Boab, and it's a great pity, because Scotland is one of the most beautiful countries you could hope to find on this earth.

It's a damn shame that I can't afford to go there very often.

The land of my ancestors, Eire, has been doing the same thing for the last 20 years, and that's another stunningly beautiful place I can't afford to visit.

I can go to Florida (hurricanes permitting) on the other side of the atlantic for considerably less. How sad is that?

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: Raedwulf
Date: 15 Oct 05 - 02:58 PM

Don - This is why I ask for genuine cost of living figures. Everything I've ever seen says London/Home Counties is the best paid portion of the country & the most expensive to live in (the one is a consequence of the other, I think). I wouldn't be at all surprised to find enclaves that buck the regional trend, be it because of tourism or wealthy incomers/retirers (an old Ake argument there! ;-) ).

But the money, as we are told time & again (often negatively), is in the London area. Even the likes of Rutland have seen property prices go through the roof - it's "only" 90 minutes commute from London, rural, pretty, quiet, CHEAP... Well it was... Another dormitory... :(

Scotland is pretty big, so I'm sceptical of a blanket "Scotland is expensive" statement. I can well believe that certain picturesque parts are abnormally pricey. I'm just a tad dubious about hard-done-by remarks made by miserly Scot's gits! ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Scotland - Closing down sale
From: akenaton
Date: 15 Oct 05 - 05:58 PM

The wild beauty of Scotland will soon be only a memory.

These bloody wind farms are sprouting up all over Argyll and other areas of the Highlands.
An absolute racket!! Big profits for the developers and landowners, the losers being the ordinary "sweaty Scots". We are having our beautiful landscape ruined, and paying for the priviledge.

Wind farms are not an answer to our energy problems, and never will be, the development costs, maintenance costs, plus the bribes paid out to local councils to avoid planning protests, make the small amount of energy produced much too expensive.

But small matters like that never stopped the "made men".

The landowners are now bypassing the wind farm companies, and doing the whole development themselves for even bigger profits.
Meanwhile the people who have lived here for generations see their country disappear under windmills and "bungalow boxes" inhabited by octogenarian English, with no feel for nature or the sensibilities of the indigenous "sweaties"

The "sweaties" seem too dumb to see what's happening and remind me of the workers in Robert Tressels socialist classic "The ragged trousered philanthropists"

"Happy to give away their most precious and sometimes only posessions, to make the rich more wealthy".....Ake