The Burning of a Beast

Subject: The Burning of a Beast
From: andicus shandicus
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 05:30 PM

I've put this message in another place, but I wanted to invite you all to the beast burning that we are likely to have at our local pub.
Basically we make a giant beast out of paper and straws and egg boxes and washing up liquid bottles.
We started it because the pub down the hill thought they were solid by having a summer solstice burning thing, but we knew we were harder and decided to have a winter one. I know we can say which pub it is in this message board because Gillian said I wouldn't get lynched. So it's called THE CUMBERLAND ARMS IN BYKER 01912656151
The ceremony dates back to ancient times. There are recordings of The Burning Of The Cumberland Beast dating from 2003 A.D. variants of which were collected by Francis James Cecil of the Byker Wall. The very first account of this strange phenomenon tells of A Wheeled Beast burning it's way out of control down The Stairs That Time Forgot with a flaming "Take A Break" (magazine) shoved up it's arse. Narrowly missing passing charvers with spiv tashes. And other beasts trying to get up Byker bank.
Now then Now then, I hear you say... mock ye not. this is tradition in the making.
Anyone who might like to come along to this most respected and time honoured event is welcome to join us at the pub-which-is-the-home-of-all-rapper in newcastle upon tyne on the 21st december 2005. It's a wednesday and the pub shuts at 12am. We will bring sparklers.

Subject: RE: The Burning of a Beast
From: Sorcha
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 06:13 PM

Sounds fun! Too bad I won't be there.

Subject: RE: The Burning of a Beast
From: Magic Gillian
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 08:43 PM

bloody hell. i might even go, and i never go to anything! what would happen if hell accidentally froze over while i thought i was being clever with beasts?
i may well have to book a good couple of days (or daze) off cerebral activity just for the gas of it.
i wish i'd thought of having a burning of things that were not my own idea in the first place...

please help us set fire to some stuff! beasty stuff. one of it, and it will be magnificient.

Subject: RE: The Burning of a Beast
From: Effsee
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 08:57 PM

Ther is no such thing as 12:00 AM. It's either Midnight or Midday.

Subject: RE: The Burning of a Beast
From: Magic Gillian
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 09:12 PM

it must be midnight then, given that that is the appointed hour of pub shuttingness. i thought that there was a 12am. i shall speak to the andicus shandicus and check that he's not taking the moriarty out of me... he told me the beast would be burned at 10:30pm BWT (that's British Winter Time, not GMT, Gillian Marie Tolfrey Time...)unfortunatley for the rest of the world, GMT does not compute with BWT. hey ho. the world keeps turning.

Subject: RE: The Burning of a Beast
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 09:28 PM

Subject: RE: The Burning of a Beast
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 09:35 PM

SECOND POSTING - previous lost in boozz

The message was:

Don't Post Crimes before they are committed.

Enrivoment-Police are EVERY WHERE.

You need to seek out another forum - this is not the place to be posting....the forum is read by several Govt, State, Local enforcers of "The Law" across international boundries.

Subject: RE: The Burning of a Beast
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 09:40 PM

BTW - Sorcha - is spouse of a COP or a PREACHER....depending on where he/she is hanging for the night.

Your URL had been nabbed....the location GPSed....the event IlLegal.

Suggest to your friends they change the venue ...and particularly the pub....or they may soon before a magistrate.

Subject: RE: The Burning of a Beast
From: Blowzabella
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 05:16 AM

Please don't use plastic washing up bottles in the making of your beast - they mely when they burn and that could be very dangerous -also burning plastic produces nasty black smoke which smells horrible and is bad for you and the environment.

Much better to cover them with sticky backed plastic and make them into desk top pen holders or something.

Subject: RE: The Burning of a Beast
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 05:28 AM

Ah .......... memories of Valerie Singleton , sex in a frock

Subject: RE: The Burning of a Beast
From: NormanD
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 05:35 AM

"Ah .......... memories of Valerie Singleton , sex in a frock"

Is Guest.Raggytash a pseudonym of Joan Armatrading?

Subject: RE: The Burning of a Beast
From: GUEST,Bainbo
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 07:48 AM

Blowzabella, I think you must be mistaken. I've tried covering my washing-up bottles with sticky backed plastic and making them into desk top pen holders, but they still didn't burn any better.

Subject: RE: The Burning of a Beast
From: GUEST,Bainbo
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 07:50 AM

P.S. - will the ukulele group who practise there be providing musical accompaniment?

Subject: RE: The Burning of a Beast
From: Snuffy
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 08:22 AM

Gillian, you say GMT does not compute with BWT.

Actually GMT (General Morris Time) does not compute with anything else known to humanity, but is always behind any other time in its zone.

Subject: RE: The Burning of a Beast
From: greg stephens
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 09:25 AM

Midnight is both 12AM and !2PM:12 hours before(Ante) and after(Post) Meridian(noon).
Havent a clue what midday is,
Now, there's a pedantic item for you.

Subject: RE: The Burning of a Beast
From: Blowzabella
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 09:29 AM

Greg said: "Havent a clue what midday is"

I went to the Nelson / Napoleon exhibition a few weeks ago, at the National Maritime Museum - there was something there about how the term 'midday' came about, which I understood at the time, but which, blow me, I can't remember now! Suffice it to say - it was all to do with nautical stuff and navigating etc - when they took the sightings with those complicated looking brass instruments etc

Subject: RE: The Burning of a Beast
From: greg stephens
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 09:32 AM

Well, I know roughly what midday is...12 o'clock noon. But whether it is AM, PM, both, or neither, is the problem here. Do you reckon Nelson knew, then?

Subject: RE: The Burning of a Beast
From: Blowzabella
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 09:36 AM

I reckon Nelson knew pretty much everything, Greg - but I'm a bit of a fan of his! I think it must be OM (ON the meridian, as opposed to before or after it)! (I'm getting silly now, so please treat all I say with due caution)

Subject: RE: The Burning of a Beast
From: greg stephens
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 09:55 AM

Bet Nelson didnt know where the Cumberland Arms in Byker is: but I do.

Subject: RE: The Burning of a Beast
From: Snuffy
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 10:00 AM

Bet there's not many pubs called the Nelson's Arms