BS: Political Sports Shows

Subject: BS: Political Sports Shows
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Dec 05 - 07:19 AM

Having had a conversation recently about whether religion or sports is the opiate of the masses I came to realize that religion is more of an amphetamine while sports is truely the most prolific and addictive drug. The President and NASCAR, the Super Bowl and World Series are now inseperable. With that in mind I produced a no holds barred political sports show that is rampant in one form or another on almost any channel in America today...


Political Sports Show:

Bob: Welcome to This Week in War, I'm Bob Jones with Ted Smith. Ted and I will take you through a fair and balanced play by play of Desert Storm II. First let's recap the preseason action.
Ted: That's right Bob. We all know how important preparation and conditioning is in these situations, and W leads the league in trash-talk.
Bob: That's right, he came into the preseason ranked number 1 in off the field antics.
Bob: W's dad was more of a leadoff hitter, driving singles up the middle by going to the media with the fictitious reports of Kuwaiti infants being thrown from their incubators. W goes straight for the jugular with WMD claims. That story cleared the fence and was gone.
Ted: That's right Bob, but W's dad did say he was going to kick Saddam's ass, which by current FCC standards was heck fire in the extreme.
Bob: There's no denying that together they gave 110 percent in a total team effort to send a message and take Hussein down and out of the playoffs. First the dad kicks the field goal, then W comes in at quarterback and drives for the touchdown.   
Bob: This brings us up to the spectacular surprise attack that was televised for prime time viewing convenience. In a rare display of strategy, W kept saying that it was up to Saddam if the US would wage war or not. But it soon became clear that this delayed snap count was not going to draw Saddam off sides.
Ted: That's far right Bob, Yep… He did not take the bait and encroach into the neutral zone, so they had to run a third down play. The Shock and Awe game plan kept the troops fired up enough to play through the pain, but once they got to Baghdad the drive stalled in the red zone
Bob: You said it, Ted, and the playbook really wasn't big enough for them to be able to expect the unexpected. Ted: Which brings us up to the race to Baghdad and that mad cap Iraqi information minister who kept saying "There are no US tanks here!"
Bob: Yeah, he was headed for the 15-day disabled list.
Ted: Only 15 days? I thought they put him on injured reserve.

Bob: They beat him for 15 days, Ted. Then he went on IR.
Ted: Oh. Well, once the US scored a TKO on the statue of Saddam, it seemed like the game was over. But the Iraqis had enough left for a fourth-quarter comeback.


And that magnificent landing George made on the Aircraft carrier USS Lincoln.
Ted: Bob, he didn't land the plane, he was a passenger.
Bob: Ted, you ignorant queer commie revisionist, W was a fighter jet pilot during the Viet Nam War.
Ted: F*eep* you Bob, not only was he AWOL…
Bob: Ted, I hear the new Pope suspects you have deep seated tendencies, anyway after this commercial break we will review how our surgical precision spared many lives in the first half.
Ted: and later learn how private contractors cleaned up and why the half toppled statue of Saddam was prophetic.

6 minutes of Commercials for Halliburton, McDonnell Douglas, Carlyle Investment firm and GE…

Bob: welcome back, to the half time of This Week in War.
Ted: Although revealing the end game or exit schedule is verbotten I think the second half of the war is clearly marked by mothers who cheer leaded on the sidelines. in Crawford Texas.
Bob: I don't know what those Mother Campers were smoking but traitors and cowards can take any form such as the intentional foul by Congressman Murtha.
Ted: There is no evidence of that Bo...
Bob: (shouting over Ted) The successes of the war are innumerable Ted, if you only took a minute to read War Illustrated and the Centcom Times you would know of the purple finger revolution, the publishing of US success stories in Iraq newspapers, the liquidating of the last insurgents in their death throes...
Ted: Bob, relax and remember what W said about being patient.
Bob: Well this week you have to admit the unity of the Bush team is stronger than ever despite the fining of Libby, Delay and others for unsportsmanlike behavior ,
Ted: That's a good point Bob, with the exception of Colin Powell, Tenet, Clarke and the Treasury Secretary who were not on the same page, the Bush team relies on their original team veterans.
Bob: True enough Ted, Stay tuned for a fourth quarter comeback as Bush rebounds in a shoot out and scores a hat trick in the Congress and high court.
Ted: Not with his current batting average Bob.
Bob: All Bush needs is to connect with bin Laden and you'll hear a cheer go up that will rattle the stadium of public opinion. (Whistle sound) Time out!
Stay tuned for our guest segment when we will have Michael Moore who will try to stay within himself when up against the toughest coach in the administration Dick Cheney!

Commercials: Bally's Fitness, Abs of Steel and Mc Donalds.

Subject: RE: BS: Political Sports Shows
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Dec 05 - 07:42 AM

Not that anyone would...but here is an easier version to read...


Having had a conversation recently about whether religion or sports is the opiate of the masses I came to realize that religion is more of an amphetamine while sports is truely the most prolific and addictive drug. The President and NASCAR, the Super Bowl and World Series are now inseperable. With that in mind I produced a no holds barred political sports show that is rampant in one form or another on almost any channel in America today...


Political Sports Show:

Bob: Welcome to This Week in War, I'm Bob Jones with Ted Smith. Ted and I will take you through a fair and balanced play by play of Desert Storm II. First let's recap the preseason action.

Ted: That's right Bob. We all know how important preparation and conditioning is in these situations, and W leads the league in trash-talk.

Bob: That's right, he came into the preseason ranked number 1 in off the field antics. W's dad was more of a leadoff hitter, driving singles up the middle by going to the media with the fictitious reports of Kuwaiti infants being thrown from their incubators. W goes straight for the jugular with WMD claims. That story cleared the fence and was gone.

Ted: That's right Bob, but W's dad did say he was going to kick Saddam's ass, which by current FCC standards was heck fire in the extreme.

Bob: There's no denying that together they gave 110 percent in a total team effort to send a message and take Hussein down and out of the playoffs. First the dad kicks the field goal, then W comes in at quarterback and drives for the touchdown. This brings us up to the spectacular surprise attack that was televised for prime time viewing convenience. In a rare display of strategy, W kept saying that it was up to Saddam if the US would wage war or not. But it soon became clear that this delayed snap count was not going to draw Saddam off sides

Ted: That's far right Bob, Yep… He did not take the bait and encroach into the neutral zone, so they had to run a third down play. The Shock and Awe game plan kept the troops fired up enough to play through the pain, but once they got to Baghdad the drive stalled in the red zone

Bob: You said it, Ted, and the playbook really wasn't big enough for them to be able to expect the unexpected. Ted: Which brings us up to the race to Baghdad and that mad cap Iraqi information minister who kept saying "There are no US tanks here!"

Bob: Yeah, he was headed for the 15-day disabled list.

Ted: Only 15 days? I thought they put him on injured reserve.

Bob: They beat him for 15 days, Ted. Then he went on IR.

Ted: Oh. Well, once the US scored a TKO on the statue of Saddam, it seemed like the game was over. But the Iraqis had enough left for a fourth-quarter comeback.


Bob: And that magnificent landing George made on the Aircraft carrier USS Lincoln...

Ted: Bob, he didn't land the plane, he was a passenger.

Bob: Ted, you ignorant queer commie revisionist, W was a fighter jet pilot during the Viet Nam War.

Ted: F*eep* you Bob, not only was he AWOL…

Bob: Ted, I hear the new Pope suspects you have deep seated tendencies, anyway after this commercial break we will review how our surgical precision spared many lives in the first half.

Ted: and later learn how private contractors cleaned up and why the half toppled statue of Saddam was prophetic.

6 minutes of Commercials for Halliburton, McDonnell Douglas, Carlyle Investment firm and GE…



Bob: welcome back, to the half time of This Week in War.

Ted: Although revealing the end game or exit schedule is verbotten I think the second half of the war is clearly marked by mothers who cheer leaded on the sidelines. in Crawford Texas.

Bob: I don't know what those Mother Campers were smoking but traitors and cowards can take any form such as the intentional foul by Congressman Murtha.

Ted: There is no evidence of that Bo...

Bob: (shouting over Ted) The successes of the war are innumerable Ted, if you only took a minute to read War Illustrated and the Centcom Times you would know of the purple finger revolution, the publishing of US success stories in Iraq newspapers, the liquidating of the last insurgents in their death throes...

Ted: Bob, relax and remember what W said about being patient.

Bob: Well this week you have to admit the unity of the Bush team is stronger than ever despite the fining of Libby, Delay and others for unsportsmanlike behavior ,

Ted: That's a good point Bob, with the exception of Colin Powell, Tenet, Clarke and the Treasury Secretary who were not on the same page, the Bush team relies on their original team veterans.

Bob: True enough Ted, Stay tuned for a fourth quarter comeback as Bush rebounds in a shoot out and scores a hat trick in the Congress and high court.

Ted: Not with his current batting average Bob.

Bob: All Bush needs is to connect with bin Laden and you'll hear a cheer go up that will rattle the stadium of public opinion. (Whistle sound) Time out!
Stay tuned for our guest segment when we will have Michael Moore who will try to stay within himself when up against the toughest coach in the administration Dick Cheney!

Commericials: Bally's Fitness, Abs of Steel and Mc Donalds.

Subject: RE: BS: Political Sports Shows
From: Bobert
Date: 04 Dec 05 - 08:14 AM

Well, Donuel, you commie pinko faggot, you wouldn't know one end of my Halliburton/Country Music Awards/Budweiser Chevrolet if it has a friggin' arrow on it front of it...

Tell ya what, Honey, why don't you just buy you a danged ol' Ford and paint "peace and love" all over it and bring it to the track...

(spit)

Yeah, you just do that, you commie!!!

(spit)

Stroker Ace

(spit)

Subject: RE: BS: Political Sports Shows
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Dec 05 - 09:39 AM

Bob: hello again, It seems that our guests are still in undisclosed locations so we will show George's last speech in front of an armed service crowd de jour...

Ted: Why don't we just show the names of our fallen heros instead?

Bob: That's just sick and unpatriotic Ted.


.............

GWB: I trust that God speaks through me. He told me to strike Al Quida and I did. He told me to get Saddam and I did. Remember, we will not quit until the mission is accomplished again. I will not let any of our fallen heros to die in vain as long as there is perpetual war.