BS: Party Feud - the game show

Subject: BS: Party Feud - the game show
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 10:51 AM

(in lieu of my visual cartoon of the day)


Welcome to Party Feud, I'm Bill Clinton. Today for the red states we have the Donahue family from Lawrence Kansas and for the blue states, the Ginsbergs from Scarsdale NY.
Bill walks over to the Donnely family and immediately french kisses the 18 year daughter while the father's eyes bug out.
Bill: Mmm minty,well Pamela the nation was surveyed for the question of what the Republican party stands for. Give me one of the things you think the national survey said?
Pamela: (gagging) Ummm Family values?
Bill: Survey Says!!(aaaaaaaa buzzer) Opps an X goes on the board. I think the Republicans do have more families through divorce but family values was not one of the top eight answers to our poll.
Bill moves over to the Donahue mom deftly giving her nipple a tweak as he arranges his index cards. "What do you think the survey said?
Mrs. Donnely: Ooo, well bill I think they said the bible...
Bill: "SURVEY SAYS! (ding ding ding ding - the #4 response turns over saying BIBLE) you are correct." Now Mr. Donnely what is your answer?
Mr. Donnely: Heaven help me if you make one more pass at...
Bill: The Donnely family passes! (Bill walks over to the Ginsberg family and shakes hands with Mrs. Ginsberg who bears a strong resemblance to Lady Bird Johnson) Do you have an answer for our poll of what the Republicans stand for?
Mrs. Ginsberg: What don't they stand for unless its something for the rich? I would have to say they stand for cutting family taxes by $700 with one hand while taking away $400,000 worth of pensions, health care and hiking the price of drugs oil and gasoline?
Bill: $700 tax cut while taking away pensions health care and increasing the price of oil!! SURVEY SAYS…
(ding ding ding - #1 response turns over with the words Tax Cuts.) Excellent.
So Joey you are the youngest son, what do you do?
Joey: I organize ecstasy raves.
Bill: What is you answer to our poll?
Joey: I'd say war.
Bill: Survey says Ding Ding Ding # 2 WAR. "The Ginsbergs are on a roll! What do you think Mr. Ginsberg?
"
Mr. Ginsberg: briefly forms a family huddle and asks "I'd like to call a friend?"
Bill: Sorry that's the wrong game show.
Mr. Ginsberg: reforms family huddle, "We would say the Republicans stand for an Imperial President who pre-emptively invades countries on the grounds of fictitious intelligence…
Bill: " Careful there Shlomo, that sounds like answers already given…
Mr. Ginsberg: OK, I'll say the poll said Honesty and Ethics.
Bill (looking puzzeled) Survey Says? (Ding Ding Ding the #3 response reveals Lack of Honesty and Ethics.) "I guess that was close enough, so this must be your sister in law ?. (Bill resumes french kissing)
What do you think the poll said?
Emily: (excitedly) It said Sex Bill!
Bill: Survey says (aaaaaaBuzzer) an X goes on the board) Perhaps you should have said no sex in the White House.
(Bill walks back to the Donnely family) What is your answer Patrick?
Patrick: Uhh Uhhh umm I guess um I guess Right to life and ah ah intelligent design?
Bill: One answer only please
Patrick Oh well umm um then um Right to intelligent design? Ah oooh no I mean right to life??
Bill: Survey says (DING DING DING) The words appear.. Right to Life/ Death Penalty
With the Ginsbergs in a slight lead, Its time for a word from our sponsors Lockheed and Raytheon...

Subject: RE: BS: Party Feud - the game show
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 11:05 AM

http://www.angelfire.com/md2/customviolins/wheel.jpg

Subject: RE: BS: Party Feud - the game show
From: Ron Davies
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 11:24 PM

Just think, Donuel, the Republicans may have their own version of Party Feud--within their party--in the contest to succeed DeLay.