BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art

Subject: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 08:15 PM

Specially when it's painting of Elvis or big-eyed puppies and kittens.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 08:16 PM

..or matadors.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 08:17 PM

Absolutely! ;-) (we had a thread about that expression...)

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 08:17 PM

Bull shit!

NOTHING beats a velvet painting of dogs playing poker, unless it's a naked chick, or Elvis

Bow to the velvet as you know you should

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 08:21 PM

It'll be a sad day when I prostrate myself before the corrupt deities of your choice, Clinton... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 08:24 PM

Find a diety that isn't corrupt....

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 08:26 PM

Oh, indeed. That's a worthy notion all right. How about Diana Rigg? I used to worship her. Why do we not see more black velvet paintings of Diana? Because she's too classy for black velvet, that's why.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 08:41 PM

Over thirty years ago, Mediterranean-style furniture was in vogue (and maybe redbook and cosmopolitan as well, but I digress). We had a black velvet collage of a sunken treasure ship over our massive sectional sofa. One morning my field supervisor saw said black velvet collage and inquired as to how much we had paid for same. Mrs. JSC asked why he wanted to know. The reply so that he could buy it from us and break it; he was way ahead of his time!

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: GUEST,semper fidelis
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 08:44 PM

You have not seen black velvet art until you have seen a full body portrait of Tammy Faye Bakker in black velvet.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Peace
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 08:44 PM

Black Velvet: I have had a few bottles of that over the years. Not quite as good as Muscatel, but OK in a pinch.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 08:51 PM

The thread title ignores all of the good art done on black velvet, particularly the examples which incorporate creeping fluorescent yellow and orange tigers in their vibrant dayglo jungle abodes. Also some of the antique John F Kennedy stuff.
The thread also attacks not only all BV art, but also those who hold it dear and find comfort in it. Many of these people lead drab dreary workaday lives, only finding relaxation by popping the top on a Bud Lite, switching on the television and the black light, and whiling away their time getting a buzz while watching shows about people who are even worse off than them, all the time surrounded by their mass-produced fluorescent cave paintings.
Shame on you Little Hawk, smugly sipping your pinot noir, surrounded by your Star Trek Episode 3 posters and your naughty French Lithographs, listening to the unearthly warblings of Buffy St Marie, composing a snappy comeback to this post while outside the arctic wind howls across the frozen wastes of your glacier-like country.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Peace
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 08:53 PM

Shatner jealousy at its worst.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 08:56 PM

LOL! Lovely summation, LEJ. You are so right. I am a pretentious, ivory-tower, supercilious, mango-eating snob! There is nothing wrong with me that wouldn't be set right by a month in Don Cherry's boot camp for leftie wimps who need to get straightened out! No sir.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Peace
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 08:58 PM

Hey, LH, you got any velour shirts?

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 09:00 PM

Like these?

pretty spiffy

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 09:03 PM

Thank God you've come to your senses. Now harness your sled dogs and get down to the village, and don't come back until you've procured a case of Lite beer,a bag of Cheetoes, and an Aztec Chieftain rescuing a half-naked Princess from a giant fluorescent green rattlesnake.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 09:08 PM

My gawd........

You are describing the life in Rama Reserve, a scant few miles from here right next to the casino...except for the sled dogs.

And the pity of it is, THEY don't listen to Buffy Sainte-Marie, they listen to Celine Dionne and Aerosmith.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Alba
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 09:08 PM

Well now...
Here are a few wonderful examples.

Pure Art....


Breathtaking



and.....

Saved the best till last!


:) Jude

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 09:14 PM

Check this out....

Black Beauty

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Peace
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 09:14 PM

"an Aztec Chieftain rescuing a half-naked Princess from a giant fluorescent green rattlesnake."

I have that one on my wall.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: GUEST,Sgt Preston
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 09:17 PM

Put on your toque and your mucklucks and snap on your parka, Little Hawk, and I'll mush on by and get you. Oh, and be sure and shove a couple of sheets from The Toronto Star up under your shirt, because it's colder than penguin shit out there. I've got to go down to Rama and file a report on the recent badger-napping, and I thought I would pick me up some Molson and Lamb Fries at National Liquor Store #41,356. I'll drop you by the dry goods store on the way.
On Yukon King!! On stout fellow!

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: frogprince
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 09:18 PM

What's really sad, is, I just realized that what the world needs is some great black velvet album cover art; but now album cover art is so small that the effect wouldn't amount to nothin'...

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 09:20 PM

Yes, it's sad. Imagine if Spinal Tap had had the foresight to do the Black Album in velvet! They would have probably outsold the Beatles. Too bad, really...

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Peace
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 09:21 PM

Don't ever sneeze on velvet. It's impossible to get sneeze OFF velvet.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Alba
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 09:24 PM

That was my "saved the best till last" choice LH..
Notice the Headers on this page.."from scarey Clowns to....
eh..wait a minute!

Personally I thought the "scarey clowns" heading would have sufficed
ROFL...really awful huh!
Jude

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: frogprince
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 09:28 PM

Then again, there's black velvet religious art:
Religious folks trying to do good but doing excrutiating things...

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 09:29 PM

Un-be-fucking-LEE-vable! I gotta git me one of them Ronnie Reagan ones!

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 09:29 PM

I'm typeless. I was going to say I was speechless, but it doesn't make any sense to say "speechless" here because nobody's speaking. We're all typing. Of course, that observation has diddley-squat to do with black velvet paintings.

That is unless one subscribes to the philosophy that all knowledge can be reduced to a black velvet painting, in which case the sum of the world's knowledge is wearing a sombrero and smoking a cigar in a Mexican restaurant in Opp, Alabama.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Peace
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 09:39 PM

Velvet spatulas. That would say it all.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 09:48 PM

The spatula was named after Queen Spatula of Granolia who reigned during the third century BC. Yes, she was quite fond of velvet, though she detested black. Her favorite color was a deep chatreuse, if you can imagine chartreuse being deep.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Peace
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 09:58 PM

I can, BWL, I can. That's a reddish colour, right? Like mauve?

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: open mike
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 10:21 PM

chartreuse is day glo yellow green like the OES fire engines
and some others that some cities have decided are more visible
than red. not yellow like school busses but yellow-y-green
like a plant that has a chlorosis problem and is lacking in iron.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Peace
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 10:22 PM

So it's like mauve then. Thanks, OM.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: open mike
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 10:22 PM

oops forgot link to foto
http://www.ci.chico.ca.us/Fire/Mutual_Aid.asp
no velvet here, sorry.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: GUEST,dianavan
Date: 24 Jan 06 - 12:56 AM

I keep trying to post and it disappears! Wierd!

Choose your favorite:

http://www.walterbeckham.com/urban/urbanpages/BLACKV~1.htm

Why is it we seem to have a collective consiousness about the Flourescent Matador on Black Velvet and yet there is no image of him on the internet? Why is that image etched on the mind so vividly? Am I going crazy?

Spooky!

Google. There's a cool black velvet of Jesus and an eighteen wheeler.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: GUEST,dianavan
Date: 24 Jan 06 - 12:56 AM

I keep trying to post and it disappears! Wierd!

Choose your favorite:

http://www.walterbeckham.com/urban/urbanpages/BLACKV~1.htm

Why is it we seem to have a collective consiousness about the Flourescent Matador on Black Velvet and yet there is no image of him on the internet? Why is that image etched on the mind so vividly? Am I going crazy?

Spooky!

Google. There's a cool black velvet of Jesus and an eighteen wheeler.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 24 Jan 06 - 08:53 AM

Too many people on Mudcat just THINK they're funny/creative...

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 06 - 09:09 AM

By George, dianavan's right! The matador doing whatever they call it that a matador does with his cape as the bull narrowly misses hooking his left testicle. He's on the wall in the Mexican restaurant right next to the Pancho Villa look-alike with the cigar. I've seen him hundreds of times. There must be millions of them out there. So why is there not a single image on the Web that a Google image search can find?

Maybe Google forgot to put a "allow display of black velvet paintings" option in their "preferences" and so they're filtered out.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 06 - 10:38 AM

And they all thank God they are not you, Clinton. Every day.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 24 Jan 06 - 10:40 AM

Not actually BV, but possibly the best-selling "over the mantlepiece" work ever, and it's been copied in black velvet:

Chinese Girl by the only guy who sold more prints than Picasso.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 06 - 10:49 AM

Look, Mom! It's Chongo!

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 06 - 10:50 AM

Wow. I have never seen it before. I really missed something, didn't I?

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 06 - 10:56 AM

That does look a fair bit like Chongo.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: gnomad
Date: 24 Jan 06 - 01:33 PM

Guinness and Champagne 50/50, now that's a real Black Velvet, and making one is a GOOD art.

Drinking them can be a recipe for a very quick party.

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Jan 06 - 07:33 PM

I think it's flock.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Black Velvet = good folks doing bad art
From: JennieG
Date: 24 Jan 06 - 11:55 PM

Does that mean we all have to flock off?

Cheers
JennieG