BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Amos
Date: 06 Mar 10 - 07:09 PM

Refresh with appplause

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Pied Piper
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 07:29 AM

POST SCRIPT

Empyreal Commander Magdorit braced himself as the life pod decelerated.
He had been taken completely by surprise by the attack, and was feeling not a little embarrassed and angry, not least because he had thought it unnecessary to put up the shields.
The landing was smooth enough and the encounter suit would protect him for 48 hours until he found a receptacle for his mind.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 06:03 PM

200

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Janie
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 05:03 PM

EPILOG

The Mudcat Funhouse, Midway and Carnival closed for the season. There were some whose lives were radically changed by the experience.

MMario--While serving mastodon barbeque, MMario met a famous San Francisco folk singer and restauranteur who offered him top pay to become the chef at a new restaurant he was going to open on Half Moon Bay. Once he received assurances that he could have any time off he needed to perform at Ren fairs, MMario packed his bags and moved to the left coast.

DTAM, his daughter Emma, son Andrew, and the bear all made it safely back to England, saddened by the death of his mother, but united in their strong love and family closeness.

JenEllen, glad to see the crowds leave but sorry the funnel cake was gone, enjoyed a full two month vacation at the House of Love and Animal Husbandry with the cats, Angus, and a number of interesting people who stopped on their way through.

After seeming her dreams dashed in the sea, streaking lost its magic for Theresa. She and the old gunslinger fell in love and got married. They live in a xplit-entry house with brick and vinyl siding in a suburb outside of Cleveland.

On the last day of the carnival, Janie saw an African-American dance troope give a rousing performance. After the show she introduced herself to Azizi, the artistic director. She now works in a donut shop in the Squirrel Hill neighborhood of Pittsburgh to pay the rent, and takes African American dance classes at the University of Pittsburgh. Occasionally she streaks down the main thoroughfare in Shadyside.

The bass player from Chicago was never seen again.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 04:25 PM

The Gambler woke with a start and glanced at his old-fashioned stemwinder by the side of his bunk. Two in the afternoon!! Well, it had been a long night, and worth every minute to watch that strange craft crash and burn in the deeps off Point Sharp. He smiled, and rolled himself onto his feet.

In the salon, Robert E. Leej was starting in on a late order of ham, grits, easy-overs and 'taters when Delacroix slipped through the kitchen door, carrying a carpet bag and a duffel sack that bulged in a number of dimensions.

"Wanted to say thanks, Bobby. That was mighty quick thinking, and we all owe you a big debt for coming up with it."

Leej nodded, dismissing the sentiment. "Ya do what ya gotta, if you can," he muttered philosophically. "Spaugh tells me we're casting off this evening, back to the Delta. He reckons the hurricane season is well over."

"Yeah, well, y'all have a real nice trip, Bobby. I won't be sailing with you."

"What?? What the hell. I thought I'd be able to take you for all that gold you took off the rubes on the trip out here! What you got in mind?"

"Well, I got me a date with the astronomy fellers over to Portsworth University, around the point. I get the feeling I need to learn a lot more than I know about the stars nearby here."

He clapped his old comrade on the shoulder, checked his derringers and his four-in-hand, and shifted the duffle bag onto his shoulder.

"But I promise I'll catch up with you, old friend. No mistake."

And Charles Stonewall Delacroix, Gambler, left the salon, the Albert Hansell and a lot more, and turned his footsteps toward the future.

Finis

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: frogprince
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 02:13 PM

Paul Newman as Robert E. Leej
Robert Redford as Charles Delacroix
Kathy Bates as Theresa
Dolly Parton as Janie
Billy Bob Thornton as Shane

What a TV series!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 02:12 PM

Strange, thought the mariner as he carefully placed the Zeiss micrometer screw sextant in it's box. No sign of atmospheric phenomena.

He was calculating the boats position by using sights of the planet Venus, and the stars, Schedar and Sirius. The mariner was referring to an optical illusion; as he looked through the spotting scope of the Zeiss, Venus appeared to glow with a blueish pulsing light as a meteorite (or what he thought was a meteorite) flashed across the bow of the 45 foot ketch Wandering Star.

47 30 North and 030 03 West was the final centre point of his observed fix. He smiled and called down to Andrew (his son)who was busy repairing a minor fault in the satellite TV system below decks. "Yer damned GPS must be low on electrickery Andy mate, according to my sextant it's two cables off". "Yeah right dad, not even the pencil tip is that accurate on the chart this far offshore so we can live with that eh?" Andrew laughed and thought to himself, I installed all the bloody modern electronics available, and the old fart still gets up at 0400 hrs just to do sights.

Down in the galley, Emma has made tea for herself and Andrew, and a hot steaming mug of Tim Hortons coffee for the mariner. " All hands, Breakfast is ready". Hearing her voice, the polar bear rolls out of his huge hammock slung between the main and mizzen masts and shuffles over to the galley, two lovely codfish and a pound of seal meat lie ready for the bear."Thank God you've woken up bear" said the mariner, "yer bloody snores had every whale fer miles coming up complaining of the noise keeping them awake"

The mariner checks the autopilot and radar, looks all round the horizon which is clear of traffic, before heading to the galley. Halfway across the Atlantic en route Brighton Marina, England, the entire crew of the Wandering Star are enjoying a fine weather day and some good food together.......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: MMario
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 01:18 PM

Out in the waters, the receding tide exposed a large expense of broken and crumpled metal - warming in the sun - which the local seal, sea lion, otter and selkie population quickly began taking advantage of, basking both in the newly shallow waters around the huge new shoal and on the sunwarmed expanse of metal itself.

A few spots steamed gently still - and a very few spots still spat the occasional spark of short-cicuiting energies - which the sea mammels all steered quite clear of.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 01:06 PM

The two friends, derringers in hand, slipped through the heavy underbrush surrounding the Circle of Fifths stauary park. They could make out vaguely in the gloom the circle of beautiful stainless sculptures that surrounded the periphery of the formal garden, each towering about eight feet, in various curves that shone even in the muted starlight. They were variously formed, and swayed gently in the light on-shore breeze -- some had rounded hemispheres in twos or threes sculpted into their tops, and others had frustrums gracefully carved at their heads in similar numbers.

"See, Bobby? The bumps and points? Those are sharps and flats. They make the Circle of Fifths. The one with the perfect circle on its top must be the center point, the "C" note....", Charles whispered.

They stayed silently alert for a number of minutes, and the quiet breeze lulled them with their warmth in the dark. A sudden sound of a large form movig through shrubbery startled them both into full alertness.

A rounded, pale form moved into the starlit circle, moving slowly from column to column around the Circle, as though seeking something.

"Hey," Charles whispered, "Isn't that the gal who was running around starkers earlier?"

"Shhh..", repsonded Leej. "Looks like she's still doing it."

The heavy woman was, indeed, doing some sort of trotting dance around the central front column with the circle on its top. She slapped it on one side, and then on the other, and then did a kind of starlight sashay around the circle. The column she had slapped began to oscillate, and a pale blue light, pulsing lsightly, started to glow around its base.

She moved around to the column with two of the rounded hemispheres.
Two flats...lesse--D-flat?, Charles thought. She repeated the ceremony, and a blue glow and slow ringing began emanated from the tall sculpture. She moved on, from D-flat to G, then across the garden to a column with six sharp points on it, back to one on the other side with two points on it, slapping and dancing.

She stopped her dance and faded into the shrubbery. The men watched as the blue glows at th ebase of each column expanded and formed into coherent beams, joing each other across the circle to form lines. One by one, the ringing columns extended their lights.

The final pattern was unmistakable, glowing in brightening, shimmering fluorescent blue light in the night, forming the pattern of a huge letter W.

Their amazed focus was disrupted by the growing harmonic tones coming from the five columns the strange streaker had activated with her weird ritual; like the growing hum of a planetary tunning fork, the humming, rich with overtones both deep and high, grew and grew in the night.

It was beginning to hurt their ears, when a sudden flash made them forget their discomfort. The night sky, sprinkled with beautiful stars, was suddenly shadowed with a huge grim black circle, floating overhead, acres in size, and a brilliant flooding white, mysterious and etheral, pulsing brilliance which switched on in the night sky.
Charles Stonewall Delacroix, Gambler, felt his own jaw dropping as he estimated the size of the huge disk that was suddenly illuminated. It stood off into the night sky, easily a mile or so above the ground, and yet it seemed to be thousands of yards in diameter.

"Bobby," he said. "I think they're here, and I think we're in trouble again, compadre."

Bobby leapt into the circle, pulling his second polished silver derringer out of his pocket. He kneeled in front of the vibrating column in the peak of the glowing blue "W" form, and holding the gun by the barrel, carefully slid the silvery butt across the point where the blue lines emanated.

The gun heated up fast and he snatched his fingers away. The lines sparked and scattered at random angles from the polished gun butt, wrecking the neat pattern the woman had started, and sending streaks of semi-coherent blue lightbeams in a thousand different directions.

Overhead the huge disc veered suddenly, yawed a full 180 degrees and tilted sharply downward on one side, and began skittering downward, as though no longer able to steer.

A red heat surrounded it as it began a violent slope through the thickening atmosphere, slicing downward and eastward at an acceleration neither man had ever imagined was possible.

Beyond Point Sharp, about five cables from shore, the gigantic disk, moving faster than a bullet, collided with the inflexible and welcoming surface of the gentle rolling sea, with a sound that broke the atmosphere like lightning striking abedroom door. Steam towered and the cracking and thundering of huge explosions penetrated the brains of a thousand sleeping folksingers and half the students at Portsworth University; huge seas rose up and began their long march to shore, hidden in towering plumes of electric smoke and hot steam.

Slowly, the incredible tumult of angry waves, red-hot steam and molten metal subsided. The Albert Hansell rose and fell uncomfortably as the residual of those gigantic waves found their way into the shallows of the bay and reached the pier. AT anchor, the Mudcat Schooner bobbed and horsed frenetically for a while as they passed under her keel.


By morning, the sea was again blue, and calm, the stink blown clear by the rising gentle breezes, and the folkies who gathered for breakfast were swapping tales of the terrible thunder that had awoken. Someone struck up a bluegrass rendition, and Don't Let Your Deal Go Down echoed up and down the boardwalk. The morning was full of music, and it looked like fun.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Janie
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 11:52 AM

The flip side of the photograph was printed with a Reese's Cup logo and said '5 points.' "Yum, Reese's Cups!" Janie murmured. She decided to look through tote more thoroughly in hopes of actually finding a peanut butter cup. She lifted the scrapbook from the bag, noticing this stuck in a pocket on the front cover.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Janie
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 10:29 AM

Janie gave a sigh of relieve as her hand clutched a bright;y striped beach towell. When she pulled it from the bag, a photograph
fluttered to the ground.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 09:43 AM

Having finished castrating flies -- and having used up all his ball ammunition -- he started reloading his pistols and his belt with hollow points.

Nothing better, he mused. A hole about 2/5s of an inch going in and about the size of a fist going out. Lots of tissue damage, lots of hydrostatic shock.

Damn, he thought. I'm getting too old for this.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Janie
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 09:02 AM

Theresa paid no attention to the group at the revival tent. She was thinking about the guy with the guns she had walked past just a few minutes ago. There was something familiar about him. "My husband used to be good with guns," she mused. "I wonder why hubby keeps popping into my mind. I really haven't thought about him at all for years and years."

Thinking of the gunslinger also reminded her that the guy she had hired, that bass player from Chicago, had never shown up. Well, his fee had been cheap and she hadn't really like the looks of him anyway. Still, she was going to need somebody. Once she was dressed she would go back and check out that gunslinger by the clay bank. She might not need anyone, but it wouldn't hurt to know if his gun was for rent if she needed it.

Back at the mouth of the Mystery Tune and Lost Chord Cruise, Janie couldn't decide whether she was mad or relieved. She wasn't up for introductions in her current state, but either she was invisible or those men were deaf and blind. They got out of that Swan boat, stepped over her like she wasn't even there, and strode off. They didn't ask her if she was ok or needed help or anything.

Although she didn't feel quite right doing so, she looked in the streaker's tote, hoping to find something she could use to dry off.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 08:22 AM

"Bobby, I have an idea."

"Last time you came up to me and said that, Charley, you walked us right in front of a blue-belly with a Gatling. Nearly killed us. You remember that? You remember what I told you ... 'No more goddamned ideas...'? You recollect that?"

"Robert E. Leej, shout your mouth for a second! This is important. Look here at this part, down here in the corner -- those numbers.
1, 5, 2, in a row, and then 6, 3, 7 and then 4.5, 1.5, 5.5.

You know what that is?"

"If I knew, goddamit, do you think I'd be squatting over this table staring at 'em?"

"Hey! You remember on your way into this place from the west side, there's a big circular statue garden, right? Those modern things?"

"What the hell, Charley?! You gone off the deep end here?"

"You remember what they call that? With those big tuning fork statues like things around the edge?"

"Some damn stupid name, I guess. I ain't too interested in sculpture right now, Charley."

"No, Bobbie. This is the clue we've been looking for! That walk around the sculptures place and this code here have something in common!"

"What would that be, Mister Pinkerton?"

"Think, man!! They call that garden with the weird statues in it the Circle of Fifths".

Charley watched Robert E. Leej's jaw drop, something he rarely got to see.

In a single instant, the two men were on their feet, checking their derringers, and striding back out onto the quartdeck and down the gangplank.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Pied Piper
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 06:02 AM

Magdorit the Splendid sank back into his bath of liquid Chlorine and relaxed contemplating his immanent arrival at the small planet detected 10 years ago by the Empyreal Astronomer Ploktic the Unbending. The journey had not been to long and had given him a chance to improve his score at Wossassas.
Before making the final approach he directed his sensors back to his home world 610 light years away and wondered what, if anything this new planet would have in common with Zigandafu.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 11:25 PM

"Casseiopea? A lot to tell about that one. Anything you want to know in particular?" The old man, wrapped in a generous sweater, was rocking in a handcarved rocking chair that served his writing table, and cahair and table both seemed older even than he was. He drew on a faded, yellowed meerschaum whose bowl was the form of a leapinng catfish, intricatly carved.

"I'm not sure, sir." said his visitor. "Perhaps if you began with the general view..."

The old professor rocked forward and back.

"Well," he started, "The story is along this wise. Long ago, in Ethiopia, Cassiopeia had been the wife of Cepheus and the mother of Andromeda. Because she thought herself more beautiful than the daughters of Nereus, a god of the sea, she challanged the anger of the god Poseidon. To punish her, her daughter was chained to a rock of the coast as a sacrifice for a sea monster. Andromeda was saved from death by Perseus. (Publius Ovidius Naso: Metamophoses, IV, should you want to look it up.)"

"To learn humility, Cassiopeia was banned to the sky. A contrite Poseidon put both father and mother in the heavens. But because of Cassiopeia's vanity, he placed her in a chair which revolves around the Pole Star, so half the time she's obliged to sit upside down.."

"Her leading star is s an iirregular variable star called Alpha Cas; but it is also called Shedir a word which in old Arabic translates as The Breast.   Her second, Gamma Cas, is called, in ancient Chinese, Tsi , which means the Whip. Highly variable brightness, attributed to throwing off giant shells of burning gas at irregular intervals."

Eta Cas is a double, while Iota Cas is a triple, but hard to detect.

Their region of the sky contains a lot of diffuse nebulae, too, such as the diffuse nebula NGC 281, and the planetary nebula NGC 7635 all of which are quite mysterious to us down here."

The professor paused, and squinted over his pipe.

"One other thing. Omicron Cas has a faint companion although some deny its existence because it is hard to see; but the word among those who have the equipment and the patience is that the faint companion has been behaving most irregularly of late, putting out streaks of thin blue light at odd intervals unlike anything we have ever observed -- they look coherent, almost artificial, ridiculous as that may seem."

Charles Delacroix thanked his informant profusely, and strode into the summery night, following the long trail along the shore from the Portsworth University campus, along the curving shores of Point Sharp, and back to the bay-side festival grounds and the relative comfort of the Albert Hansell. He knocked on Robert E. Leej's door, and rapidly relayed what he had learned. The two of them went forward to open well-deck and stared with intense curiousity at the remote "W" form of Cassiooea. high above the dwindling moon.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Janie
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 10:07 PM

good one, FP!

J

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: frogprince
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 08:17 PM

Theresa's path takes her past a small knot of people just outside the revival tent. A few of the men try, but fail, to make sense of the fleeting glimpse they get of the complex tattoo on her right buttock. None of them makes out the pattern of stars forming the constellation of Casseiopia.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 05:59 PM

"Looks like a map of city streets," said Delacroix. "These black lines run at right angles, like a grid, but warped in places like a topographic grid. Maybe it's a map of San Francisco."
Leej sipped the brandy and turned the map slightly."Then what are the red lines, and the dots and bigger circles?"
"I don't know, Bobby, maybe the dots are buildings..banks, or armories, or something...maybe the circles are ...I don't know...bigger buildings."
"The red lines and these heiroglyphic symbols, then. The lines seem to link the dots and circles." Leej turned the sheets another 90 degrees.
"Where did your half of the map come from, Bob?"
"A few years ago I was in Baltimore staying at a hotel outside the city. Some distance from my room was a Tavern frequented by local merchants, travelling freight haulers, and distinguished by a remarkable paucity of gambling men. I became a regular participant in the poker games there, and on acertain night I decided to stay late, reap a very large pot, and make my way home near midnight. i had noticed two men standing at the bar earlier. One fellow was a short, stocky, mustachioed man who was discreetly observing the other, a tall rather cadaverous individual in a cape and bowler hat. Both men had been drinking through the night, and both had left some time before the game had broken up.
I was cautiously making my way back to my room with one hand on my pistol, half expecting some disgruntled poker player to attempt to rob me of my winnings, when I saw a movement in the shadows and heard a low moan. Producing my revolver, I advanced into the gloom, nearly stumbling over the body of the short man. He had been stabbed several times in the chest, but his eyes were open, and he tried to speak to me. 'My watch pocket' was what I thought he said. Reaching into this pocket, I found a badge. The man was a Pinkerton Agent. With a struggle, helifted his left arm and opened a bloody hand. Inside was clutched this bloody paper. I took it from him as he pleaded 'they are coming. They have to be stopped.'
I took the paper and cut a fast trail to my room. Late that night, I was awakened by a sound. As I lay listening, I determined that the sound was the slow turning of the doorknob, and the stress of the door against its lock as great weight was placed against it. In silence, I dressed, gathered my bag, and made my way through the window and into the street.
In the remaining years, that night has never been far from my mind, and I have lived the life of a hunted man, Charlie. I don't know who they are, but I know they are evil and would have killed me as they several times attempted. And I know that this map holds the key to their identity. And I know that, in this happy carnival where all seems pleasure and gaeity, they have gathered to perpetrate their awful plan."
Delacroix sat back in his chair, taking another cigar from the box."And I suppose, "Charles said,"that its too late for me to excuse myself from this little soiree." Leej snapped a match into fire and lit Delacroix' cigar, then his own, and said "of course. You're already in too deep."
Delacroix' eyes lit up. "Good. Let's get back to the map." Charles eyed the lines again, then suddenly said "Casseiopia." Leej's eyebrows were lifted in puzzlement. "This shape. It looks like the constellation Casseiopia." Leej peered at the shape through the cigar smoke, then walked quickly outside.
Above, the sky was freckled with stars from horizon to horizon. Charles followed, pointing to a brightcluster. "Casseiopia!" Leej exhaled smoke and said softly "I'll be damned."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 05:20 PM

She passed near a clay bank, and a fellow with a two-gun rig fixed up for cross-draw waved absently as she passed.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Janie
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 05:07 PM

Theresa Terrific continued her jog along the boardwalk. She ran in rhythm to the calliope, the flash of the lights in the heels of the Nikes emphasizing the downbeat. People gave her cheerful waves as she ran by, her no longer young breasts and buttocks bouncing with the beat. She was secretly a bit disappointed to not be causing more of a stir, but all-in-all she was glad she was here. That foolish Janie woman was apparently one of the few in this crowd who weren't free-spirited. Uptight ol' hillbilly--kinda of reminded her of her husband. Briefly she wondered where he was and if he ever thought of her. The last she had seen or heard from him was that night in the high school gym--must be close to 30 years ago--when she set herself free. "FFRREEEEEEEEEE I tell you!" She remembered so well how good it felt, following that young streaker across the boards of the gym floor, the old man hollering at her from the bleachers to get her clothes back on.

She was beginning to feel a little winded and knew it was time to circle back and retrieve her clothes and bag. No point in running back down the boardwalk--that would take all the art out of the streaking. Instead, she crossed over to the woods, passing behind the funnel cake stand, and headed back in the direction from which she had come, following what appeared to be a deer trail.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: MMario
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 04:25 PM

AND angus!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 04:19 PM

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaw!!!!!!

Welcome back, Jen!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: JenEllen
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 04:04 PM

The sun was bright in the noonday sky when the quartet reached the front porch of the House of Love and Animal Husbandry. The Carnivale was in full swing, and this little shack wasn't too far from the center of the action, but the cluster of trees around the place provided a shelter of sorts from the storm. The Albert Hansell was docked within view, and the bar next door had Kestrel Light on tap. Who could ask for anything more?

JenEllen pushed open the door and wiped away a few of the vacant cobwebs. "Ugh," she muttered to herself, "vacation starting with cleaning is a stone drag." However, it wasn't too long before she was wrestling open old windows and letting the sea air in.
"You gotta see your mama every night
or you can't see your mama at all.
Kiss-kiss, Mama. Treat her right, or
She won't be home when you call.
Mama don't like that kind of man
Does his lovin' on an installment plan
You gotta see your mama every night
Or you can't see your mama at all…"

During the time that JenEllen was busily tidying up the joint, Angus was busy running from window to window, snuffling at the tantalizing array of aromas coming in the windows. The cats, thoroughly satisfied with their Certificates of Completion from Madame Seizemore's Correspondence School for Psychics, were busy taking turns holding down the various pieces of furniture in the House of Love.   They planned on using their advanced skills over the vacation by reading minds and quickly jumping in the lap of anyone sitting in the House of Love who thought for a moment that they might get up.

Their little vacation from the Land of ThreeDee was interrupted by Angus the WonderDog, who in fine form, heard the obvious knock at the screendoor and hurdled the couch to see who his new friend was going to be.

"Hello?" said the young woman at the front door. "Anyone home?"

"C'mon in." replied Jen, "and YOU," she admonished the still-woofing hound "Go park it."

The young woman entered the HOLAAH (aside for a minute: I LOVE that! "Holaah!") dressed in the most hideous poncho-type beach cover-up that Jen had ever seen. She was madly scratching her arms and legs and appeared to be ready to cry.

"Are you okay?" asked JenEllen, immediately feeling like an idiot for asking.

"Sandfleas." replied the scratching woman, who was by this time using the doorjamb as a back scratcher. "I can't seem to get rid of the damn things and the lifeguard told me to come here."

"I have just the thing!" and with that, JenEllen reached into the cupboard and pulled out what appeared to be the latest bestselling beach read of the year, but when open it unfolded into a miniature replica of the Boardwalk and Carnival grounds, complete with amusement park and taco stand. JenEllen held the book near the woman's arm and as if by magic, the fleas marched right down the woman's hand and into the book. They began ordering food, buying cotton candy, and riding all of the rides.

"How amazing!" said the young woman. "And you mean to tell me that I can keep this and watch them play?"

"Nope." said JenEllen, slamming the book shut. "They'll get bored with this soon enough. I suggest you give this book as a present to someone you don't like very much."

"Oh, like the crazy aunt that gave me this poncho. Gotcha. How much do I owe you?" asked the still-astonished young woman.

"Oh, a gazillion dollars should cover it."

"I only have five bucks and a dirty postcard."

"That'll do."

After they shook hands and the young woman left holding her book at a cautious distance from her body, JenEllen retreated to the kitchen and taped the postcard to the fridge among last year's models. She then took the fiver and tucked it in Angus' collar.   "Good boy! Now go get us a funnel cake!" Angus bounded out of the yard and towards the boardwalk.

Wonderful hound that he was, he bought two and ate one on the way home.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:38 AM

Down by the water, he's firing his pistols at...a high clay bank.

"Watcha doin'?" a passerby asks. "Seeing if you kin still hit the ground?"

"No. See those flies sittin' on that rail fence at the base of that clay bank?"

"Hmmm...you're missin' what yer shootin' at then."

"Nope," he says, squeezing off another shot with his left hand and then doing a Border Shift with the pistols and squeezing off another. "I ain't aimin' at the flies."

"Well then, what in thunderation ARE you doin'??"

"Ain't none of them flies ever gonna become daddies," he replied and cranked off another shot.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Pied Piper
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 06:38 AM

Pied Piper awoke and stared up at the man shaped skylight that wasn't there yesterday.
The fenestrator lay in a mangled lump at the foot of the bead leaking life juice onto the Palm matting.
The air felt stale like it had already been breathed and he stepped outside contemplating the rococo intricacies of cause and effect.
The sun being well over the yard-arm he fetched up a bottle of Duvel from the water but, opened it with his teeth and went to lie in the hammock under the shade of the mangrove trees, not a little disschuffed at the mess he'd have to clean up later.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Janie
Date: 22 Feb 06 - 11:05 PM

Once seated on the bench, Theresa bent and began to rummage around in the large tote she was carrying. It was made of a canvas-like synthetic material. Large hibiscus flowers in day-glo orange and pink were printed on a chartreus background. "Ah, here it is," she said as she straightened up, pulling a large scrapbook out of the bag. Used tissues with red blots of lipstick tumbled out onto the ground. "I thought you might want to see my 'credentials.'

"M'am, I think there has been a grave misunderstanding here." Janie jumped up from the bench and began speaking rapidly. "I ain't no streaker, leastways not until today and that wasn't really streaking and I never woulda done it if I hadn't wanted someone to sing with so bad and if MMario hadn't slipped me them funny tasting brownies." She began backing away from the woman as she spoke. "They be waitin' fer me to git back to the song circle--Dani and me's gonna sing a duet...."

Theresa looked at her calmly for a moment, stood up and removed her clothes (all but her nikes), and without another word took off streaking down the boardwalk, back toward the main crowds.

Janie shook her head, no longer sure she wanted to be here. Thoughts of them ol' Appalachian hill's was lookin' mighty comforting to her right then. She wished she was like Dorothy and could just close her eyes, click her ruby slippers, and be home.

"Well, that ain't a gonna happen," she thought. "That's a different fairy tale." She turned to walk back to the song circle, not realizing she had backed right up to the edge of the canal that led into the tunnel. Shrieking in surprise, she fell backward into the shallow channel. Immediately she sat up, trying to scramble out of the canal before anyone saw her. She'd made enough of a fool of herself on this trip. Once out she sat on the ground, quickly removed her boots and emptied them of water. She heard a sound, and looking up, saw two men--one of them that Devilrot feller--emerging from the tunnel in one of the swan boats. They looked to be as startled at finding her there, as she was to see them glide out of the tunnel.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Janie
Date: 22 Feb 06 - 07:03 PM

"I didn't mean to startle you so," said Theresa, with an amused expression on her face.

"I...er...no...it's just--gosh, I was feeling so bad and embarrassed," stammered Janie, "and now you come along and...."

"I understand completely," Theresa interrupted. "That's why our society exists. Streaking is a subtle art, though most people don't realize it. When I saw you swing that shirt over your head and give that rebel yell, I knew you could use a little coaching."

"But-but" Janie searched for words.

Theresa, still holding Janie's arm, began steering the two of them down the boardwalk. "I began my own career in streaking in the 1970's. When I heard about this gathering of folkies I just knew I'd find some free spirits among you who would appreciate the art of streaking. I'm not a singer myself, but there was a song written about me and how I got my start in streaking. It got a lot of radio play. Of course that was before I changed my name from Ethel."

Janie, still quite speechless, allowed herself to be led on down the boardwalk. Near the terminus of the walk the crowd thinned out considerably. Theresa guided Janie over to a bench near the Mystery Tune and Lost Chord Cruise attraction, and sat down.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 06 - 02:53 PM

Delacroix shook his head in amazement. "Dang!! A map in layers!!", he whispered.

"Bobbie, we got some closer inspecting to do, but I don't want to do it where anyone can see it. I think I know just the place. C'mon..."

And the two dangerous veterans of a distant time and an even more distant war-zone slipped through the woods, skirting the main throughfares and attraction. Delacroix motioned his friend forward past the Love and Animal Husbandry station, slipped behind the Capo Canoodles and Banjo Bagel stand, and around the end of Bobert's Bucaneer Theater, and came to a halt at the edge of the darkened tunnel that led into the Mystery Tune and Lost Chord Cruise, a cavernous opening which, when open, led couples in small, swan-shaped boats into the caverns under the hill past dioramas of sweet and scary scenes from folk music to the whispering of mysterious dulcimer sounds. It was closed at this late evening, but Delacroix reached down and thrust his hand into the bracksih water at the tunnel entrance and groped briefly, coming up with a loop of thin, dripping chain.

"A friend of mine is the Bos'n here." he said softly. "Watch."

He tugged three times on the chain, and there was a distant "click" in the depth of the black tunnel, as of a lock opening. He hauled away on it, running the loop back into the lagoon, and shortly a scarlet-hued swan-boat bumbled into the lagoon from the recesses of the tunnel.

"This is how he gets to work to start the ride up," the Gambler whispered. He steered Leej into the far seat and clambered in after him, hauling the swan boat slowly into the darkness.

They sat in pitch darkness hearing the splash of the chain behind and the faint Aerolian whispers of the wind-harps that provided the Tunnel Ride's sound effects. Gradually, a small, dim light appeared against the pitch darkness far ahead.

"That's his operating house...".

The swan-boat bumped gently against a short wooden brow extending from a stone floor carved into the wall, into which a small shack had been built. The lantern which acted as their homing beacon hung from the outside of the shack.

Their footsteps muffled by lapping water and the distant moan of wond-harps, the two men moved into the small but comfortable shack, Delacroix carrying the lantern, and settled at a small deal table in a pair of wooden chairs. Charles rustled under the mattress of a small bunk built in along the far end, and produced a small bottle of what looked to be first-class moonshine, clear and potent.

"Now, my friend," Delacroix said, smiling. "Let's see what this is all about..."

Robert E. Leej smiled, and shook his head. "You sure do have some innerestin' friends, Charlie. Comes in handy, I reckon."

He brought out his half of the parchment document, and Delacroix brought out his, and they bent their heads over the strange cryptic marks in the glimmering lantern-light.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 06 - 12:10 PM

With a squishy "THUD" a body landed nearby and both men jumped. Screams, male and female, punctuated the dark.

Another THUD and another body.

Peaking out from the bushes, he saw that the sperm whale was tossing the now-comatose parachutists up into the air with its tail and the squid was batting them shorewards with a tentacle.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 06 - 11:07 AM

LOL!! Loverly, loverly!! Concur, Janie.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 22 Feb 06 - 10:41 AM

Chief Streak of the Society to Reinstate Emancipated Anatomies Kavorting Ecstatically Raw ? You are wacky, Janie. You fit right in.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Janie
Date: 22 Feb 06 - 10:20 AM

Over at the sing-around, Willie O. was just finishing up a lovely ballad in waltz time. Janie had stepped back from the circle and was doing a little waltz step by herself just out of the firelight. As she glided to a stop a hand touched her elbow and gently pulled her back a little further from the gathering.

"I want to introduce myself," said a short robust woman. "My name is Theresa Terrific and I am Chief Streak of the Society to Reinstate Emancipated Anatomies Kavorting Ecstatically Raw (STREAKER). I want to thank you for your actions in support for our principles that I witnessed earlier today."

Janie gaped at the woman, stunned into complete silence.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 06 - 10:02 AM

They were still, and then the giggles told them that it was just another couple -- probably from the Revival Tent -- seeking a place for a little private corps-a-corps.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 22 Feb 06 - 02:51 AM

As Delacroix waited quietly, he suddenly felt the barrel of a pistol against his back, and a voice close behind that whispered "pork chops." Delacroix replied "and mustard greens! Damn you Bobby! You scared hell..." Leej barely suppressed a laugh, saying "be quiet, boy! I couldn't tell it was you. Dark as pitch in these woods."
Delacroix then smiled and said "tell me about the code."
Leej puffed his cigar, breathing smoke out with the words.."what code?"
Delacroix reached into his pocket, producing the paper with the strange figure on it. Leej paused, then quickly took the paper, striking a match over it. Delacroix heard Leej's sharp intake of breath, then was suddenly grabbed by the shoulders and spun in a circle. "This is it, Charlie!" Leej said with suppressed glee, "you found it, you son of a possum!"
Delacroix grabbed Leej by the lapels of his coat whispering "found it? Found what!"
Leej chuckled as he tossed away the match, sticking his scorched thumb in his mouth. Then he pulled out another very similar paper. Holding them one atop the other in one hand, he lit another match behind them with the other hand and Delacroix watched as the black lines coiled together and the red lines meshed. "Do you see, Charlie? It's a map!!"
Then Leej quickly blew out the match as the two heard the sharp snap of a branch somewhere near by.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 06 - 12:10 AM

He dusted off his Stetson and his boots as he reached the main path, mingled briefly with the crowd, and then veered back down the trail leading to the Whizzy Whig Revival Tent. An uproarious, glorious harmony was busting out the seams of the old Army surplus big-top, and loud clappings of hands and cries of jubilation brightened the night.

But he passed by, circling around the back of the tent, watching the shadows of the celebrants leaping within, and moved into the darker shadows of the forest, circling slowly until he came to the unmistakable, huge sheltering form of the giant oak.

He settled among some smaller scrub a short way back, checked the seating of his derringers in their inner pockets, and settled down to see what number the whimsical wheel of Fate would settle on this night.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 11:31 PM

ROFLMAO!! You guys are just the best!!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 10:49 PM

Sighing at the untimely leaving of the old salt, the Man From The West realized that someone would have to fill the bill for the gunfighter ballads and the burden had fallen upon his shoulders.

He squared them and bag in hand entered a dressing room.

Stripping to his undies (basic black), he pulled on a pair of boot socks. Foxed trousers, medium gray in color, were pulled on and a dark red cotton shirt was tucked neatly into the waistband and secured with a lightweight "ranger" belt. Black books with medium heels were jerked on over the socks.

He stood up and carefully tied a black silk neckerchief around his neck; this was followed by a black vest. A gold stem-winder watch, secured by a gold chain, went into a vest pocket.

He reached again into his bag and brought out a matched set of .45 caliber Colt's revolvers -- the "Single Action Army" model -- with gutta-percha grips. He laid them carefully on a chair and retrieved from the bag a set of well-worn plain black leather holsters set in a belt glistening with the brass of extra cartridges.

Strapping on the holsters, he picked up the revolvers. Balancing one in each hand, he executed a quick Border Shift, a Forward Roadagent's Spin, and a Reverse Roadagent's Spin. Holstering a pistol in the left holster, he carefully loaded six cartridges into the remaining weapon and holstered it and then loaded the one in the left hand holster.

He sighed again, pulled on a pair of tight black goatskin gloves, snapped his bag shut and locked it, and strode out into the sunshine, an aura of menace in his every move.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Janie
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 10:06 PM

Janie, who had decided not to join the neo-cons after all once she saw them being batted around by those big flukes and tentacles, scuffed along the shore for awhile, skipping pebbles across the inlet. Twice she heard noises from deep in the woods behind her. Once she heard a muffled cry, but since there were folkies everywhere and from all over, she just figured some young couple had slipped away into the woods for a private little interlude.

    Finally she put her unhappy thoughts behind her and headed back to the boardwalk, just as the Gypsy band began moving among the crowd, drawing all who came near into their revelry. As she drew near, a small group waved her over to join them in a sing-a-round.
She eagerly joined the group. Looking around to see who was in the circle, she happened to notice the tall 'fancy man' from the steamboat--Deverot? Devilrote? Whatever--emerge from the woods into the clearing behind them.

    "Wonder what he's been up to?" she thought. She noticed a small scratch on the side of his face-it looked like he may have tangled with a briar. His hat was slightly askew and had a few small leaves clinging to it.

    She turned away and joined the group on the chorus of an old Riley Puckett song.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 07:48 PM

(BRAVAAA!!!! BRAVA!!!!)

A

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 05:33 PM

Rustic Rebel of Rayville was overwhelmed but not deterred from attraction. After the strange encounter with the squid, the young deckhand and the showdown, she managed to make it back to the saftey of camp.
The gypsy camp on the west shore was teaming with excitement. After watching with awe the adventure of the whale and squid it was the right time to bring forth their own spectacle.
Nina and Neville of North Branch were hooking the pigs up to the wagon, that was already loaded with "the gift", when Rustic Rebel of Rayville returned to camp.
They had all watched in terror as the large squid pursued her and watched on with delight as the young deckhand saved her life by a tentacle and a B string.
"We must go to the boardwalk and find this brave young man."
Rustic Rebel of Rayville felt very glad that the camp was in agreement to what must be done. She knew it was good and just for all involved. The entire troupe was ready to go.

Everyone following the pig-drawn wagon were in high spirit. The verbunko's music began. There were pan pipers and piccoloists, dancers and drummers, violinists and virtuosos. Nearing the Mudcat Carnival and Boardwalk they began to search for the young deckhand.
They were indeed quite a spectacle themselves, with a wagon near bent with a large covered box, being pulled by pigs (What? you thought they were for the spit?!), and the merry band of colorful, fanciful people of all ages, emerging on the carnival site.
It didn't take but a whisper from the wind to lead them to the spot where the young lad had found himself some refuge and proper care of his wounds. He was delighted to see the lass he had saved from the sea and almost equally delighted to see this strange entourage encircle him, not missing a whimsical note of the piccolo nor pan pipe.

The head gypsy-Moth of Mankato stepped forward, bringing the wagon up to his side, "Young lad, we brought this gift to share with everyone at this fine Mudcat Carnival, but in light of recent circumstances, if we may be so bold and presumptuous, we the family of the Gypsy Caravan of Color , in honor of your heroism and courage would like you to have it".
Moth of Mankato turns to the wagon and pulls the drape off of the large box, exposing a large aquarium. No sooner had the veil been lifted a large wail of water springs forth and from the wake spirals none other than-Dolphin Boy! He whisles, he laughs , he spins and flips in the water, coming back to a swim-still, he spits water into the face of the deckhand.
Moth of Mankato says, "This is Opo. Named for the god of the ocean." Opo Squeals when he hears his name. "We have been a fortunate people to be blessed with Opo," Opo spits more water and laughs. "But we know it is Opo's destiny to be with you."
"Opo's strong sense of liberty and freedom, his love of music and his need to an unrestrictive lifestyle had brought him to us. Now we feel his love for the sea and need for the water has brought him to you."

The young deckhand was, to say the least, overwhelmed with such a gift. Dripping with Opo's spit he grabs him out of the aquarium and thanks all the people around and runs to the sea.
Here he is pictured as him and Opo hit the waves, being met by his new family.

The gypsies all clap and dance and make music on the boardwalk.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 03:38 PM

The bear scarffs up the pies in single bites and waves happily at MMario.... "Thanks MMario MMate" shouts the mariner, but I really do have to catch the tide... See you again one day.... Bye.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: MMario
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 03:24 PM

MMario chases after the mariner and his pet Ursus maritimus. "DAVE! - you fogot your pies! I hid them because the Squid was looking hungry."

Since the mariner pauses not, MMario flings several dozen seal flipper pies, discus style after the bear.

"Can't have the bear getting hungry - it's the only natural predator of man.:"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 03:09 PM

(Unbearable, I allow) Welcome, young lady!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 11:00 AM

A teenage girl with a Seagull Grand guitar slung over her shoulder, and a pet polar bear on a long chain strolls towards the ancient mariner. The bear is testing the air his nose twitching towards the restaurant where the smell of fresh Calamari is wafting in the breeze.

"Hullo Bear" the mariner pats the bear affectionately on the head and receives a soft nuzzle in return. "Sorry I don't have any seal flipper pie for ye but MMario ran out of flour and lard yesterday.

"Hello dad" says the girl, the mariner kisses the girl and says "what brings you here looking for me Emma?" I brought the boat here dad, you need to sail home to England i'm afraid Granma passed away and the family want you in Brighton for the funeral. The mariner grabs his seabag and wanders down the dock with his daughter and the bear in tow arm in arm...

Off to a not so jolly England, will be thinking of you all when i'm on the Palace Pier mates, carry on with the fun TTFN

Yours, Aye. Dave

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 10:02 AM

LADIES AND GENNELMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS! Let me direct your attention to the bay, where the Champeenship Badmitten Match of all time is being held between a Sperm Whale and his (or her -- you go check) partner, Archie the Giant Squid! See them loft parachutists over the small island with the lighthouse! See them bat the jumpers back and forth! Who will be the winner? Or is this just a match for fun? Only one thin dime to see all this excitement of a match you will never again be privileged to watch! Come one, come all! Place your bets in the small tent to the left."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 09:45 AM

It is a simple but effective strategem to survey the meeting ground well before the meeting. The Gambler, smililng and nodding at the smiling and laughing folkies sipping beers and picking songs along the boardwalk, strolled quietly, and in an opportune moment slipped off at an angle through a row of lilac trees, and made his way through a deepening woods, keeping his bearings by the sound of the merriment behind him, and the faint glow of the remotes Wizzy Wig Revival tent and its small campfire far ahead. Lowhanging oak branches scraped his fine Stetson, and vines threatened to entangle his calfskin boots, but he moved with a grace and a silence one would not expect in so urbane a figure.

From the edges of the wood around the revival campsite, he moved silently back, paralleling the normal footpath; and as he expected, closer to the boardwalk end of the footpath, he saw the gingerheaded man from the saloon searching the trail. He waited for his moment. When it came, he moved in swiftly behind the man, drew one arm tight under his throat from behind and with the other gently placed the end of a derringer against the footpad's right temple.

"Ah believe, sir, that you and I have a rendezvous to keep over this way a bit. Move wrongly and your head will be split open."

That cold baritone whisper stopped the ginger man in his tracks; the click of the derrinfer's hammer reinforced his desire to cooperate, and Delacroix met little resistance leading him into the deeper woods, where he tied him to a young oak with the man's belt, and muffled his snarls and curses with the torn remnants of the man's shirt.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 21 Feb 06 - 12:55 AM

In a secluded corner stands a wild-eyed stranger, gesticulating and ranting, saliva running out of the corner of his mouth. A small crowd of bemused spectators huddles together for psychic protection, wondering just what he is on about. Some of them even wonder just what he is on, beside the soapbox.


"Not obstante to become it only thus an inferior to modify, who line to consider. It is not perhaps the best solution for those of that which (now or it it with the line of forum radiates), until the deep one - with him it is discovered that the existence prefers, or this best felt of the new causes for its requirements becomes betruebt?

That this one time totality - it does not consider really much, as not advised, in the manner, this modification suggested, of which they are not with this happy current forum - then, it this one those, if you that the freedom of our forum to be evaluated can be imposed, (slot-machine of the entry converts) that deep it this one is been later there and prepared the day had.

In much however this classroom imposition of the opinion of the minority was, which it used very that we had. Is it perhaps a moment for a modification with this one? Is that with (majority of the aspects) the general polemic of the forum you it perhaps happier something than maximum in his place of the installation all we must, those if have certified of that which is not happy - outward journey the other to wait?

During the moment too little - all to have to us run with small number a choice to contribute, if us to continue, our forum in weak or current numbers. This one that it, does not stop wishing - elsewhere freely it's that it go."




Sorry, you said FUNhouse...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Janie
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 11:51 PM

"Damndamndamn." Janie stomped her boot in sorrow and anger.

A man had just died because of her. Sure, he had been an ass, but if she hadn't been so stupid, the stampede never would have occurred. And there was that poor purty nakkid girl thinkin' it was her fault. And that feisty old salt with a death on his conscience, even though he knew he had no choice.

It seemed like a really bright idea at the time. (It must have been those brownies she had eaten earlier in the day.) She'd seen the gleam in them menz eyes when they looked at that nekkid girl. She seen their ears perk up like hounds' around a bitch just going into season. And she saw all of 'em looking at her like she was crazy when she started hollerin' about the girl.

"Uh huh!" she had said to herself. "Iff'n I take off my clothes, why, some of them menz might look at me like that. THEN I bet I could git somebody to sing with me. Maybe play a little guitar too, and let me sing a solo."

"YEHYUS!!!" She dropped her drawers, yanked her t-shirt off, and twirling it over her head, gave a rebel yell. Mayhem broke out. All them menz turned and started hightailin' it down the boardwalk, putting as much distance between them and her as they could. That poor girl and the young man with her thought they was all comin' after the girl.

Yep. And now a man was dead. It was all her fault.

She hurriedly reclothed herself and headed for the water. She may as well throw her lot in with the neo-cons.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Funhouse, Boardwalk and Carnival
From: Janie
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 10:08 PM

(oh hell, Amos--I'm just proved what an ignorant ol' hillbilly I really am:?)