BS: Urgent Bulletin from Clare FM News

Subject: BS: Clare FM News Bulletin
From: GUEST,Mark King
Date: 08 Apr 06 - 05:53 AM

From last night's Clare FM News bulletin

Mass Comhaltas Epedemic Hits Miltown Malbay

Miltown Malbay is bracing itself for its worst epedimic of Comhaltas flu in fifty five years, it was announced last night. Authorities were alerted to the outbreak when flocks of wild geese were seen flying over Mount Callan quarking MacColl, MacColl, MacColl, on their way to the low countries.

Gardaí immediately manned a 15km cordon sanitaire around the hills of Clare, while Music Health Inspector Tom Munnelly vainly scoured the nation's record shops for supplies of Weelittledrummer vaccine. "If only we can get enough copies of John Reilly singing The Well Below The Valley, we should be home and dry", said Tom gamely clutching a Gaelic spelling primer. "In the meantime we are asking all parents to examine their children for symptoms of the disease."

Signs include an irrepressible urge to practice the accordeon, engage in marathon music competitions and wear outlandish costumes on Comhaltas sponsored tours. In the severest cases, sufferers have been heard singing such traditional ballads as The Boys of Barr na Sraide and The Night We Rode With Sarsfield.

The outbreak started when noted folk song authority Jim Carroll accidentally opened a record by Comhaltas superstar Anne Mulqueen singing Don't Come The Collector With Me Sonny Jim. The record was sent from an address in Gloucestershire, England.

Last night Mr. Carroll was not available for comment. However, a family member said, "This is terrible. We always have to quarantine a few people at Willie Clancy week, when we find they can't tell a folksong from a musichall song. But this is of a different order entirely."

Subject: RE: BS: Urgent Bulletin from Clare FM News
From: gnu
Date: 08 Apr 06 - 07:08 AM

Hehehe.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgent Bulletin from Clare FM News
From: Joe Offer
Date: 09 Apr 06 - 03:24 AM

We can't let this drop off the Forum Menu, not just yet.
Refresh...

Subject: RE: BS: Urgent Bulletin from Clare FM News
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Apr 06 - 05:57 AM

Geese don't quark, they honk.

Some geese flew over our house on Friday morning... does that mean we'll get it too??

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Urgent Bulletin from Clare FM News
From: GUEST,H.C. Earwicker
Date: 09 Apr 06 - 06:23 AM

In west Clare there isn't much to do, so the geese practice quarking as well as honking. As a matter of fact some have even formed themselves into vocal quarkets and perform pieces from the Subatomic Particle Songbook with lightning skill and radiant charm.

Confusingly, there are six members to a quarket, three pairs of two, but only five vocal parts; up, down, strange, charm, and bottom. How the geese reconcile this problem is still a mystery to natural science.

If they flew straight over without stopping, there may be nothing to worry about. However, you should check your clothes line immediately. If your washing has small white blotches which weren't there before, the geese are probably responsible. Re-wash as soon as possible and find somewhere else to do the drying. They sometimes come back.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgent Bulletin from Clare FM News
From: MartinRyan
Date: 09 Apr 06 - 04:49 PM

Q.
"How many Comhaltas members does it take to change a light bulb?"
A. "Change? Change? Did somebody mention change?"

Regrds

p.s. Psalm 45.: God be with the Eagle Patrol!