BS: New piece by CapriUni 4 the 'Art Garden'

Subject: BS: Piece by CapriUni for the 'Art Garden'
From: CapriUni
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 06:42 PM

Twice a year, I take part in a 'Literary Magazine for the Stage' called The Art Garden. The editor/MC for the event sends out a theme to selected writers, who create their pieces independently, then gather on the specified night to read their work before an audience in a small theater. And each evening is really a mix -- poems. stories, essays, original songs. and, occasionally, short skits. It's kind of neat, because only the editior knows exactly what's going to be read each evening, so it's almost as big a surprise to the participating writers as it is to paying audience members.

The Spring "edition" of the Art Garden is this coming Saturday, and the theme is "Sports." This is the poem I wrote for it:

GYM CLASS BUILDS A CHILD'S CHARACTER

She sits on the sidelines,
waiting for the time to pass.
The voices of her classmates rise and rise,
bouncing up to the plastered ceiling,
echoing and overlapping until words are lost,
and falling down around her in a drone
as heavy as an ocean wave.

Cupping her hands over her ears,
like a hornplayer with a mute,
she teaches herself the art of modulation,
giving form to the formless,
and playing melodies only she can hear.

She watches the motes of dust swirl in the sunlight,
studies the geometry of the bleachers,
and wonders why, of all the colors in the world,
some grownup chose puce to paint the walls.

The bell rings at the end of the period,
and while the others go to the lockerroom to change,
she is escorted back to the classroom,
And while she waits, makes secret plans
of how she will color the world,
once she gets the chance.

--

The next Art Garden will be the last Saturday in November, and unless something changes, the theme will be "Snow"... I expect that to be an easier topic for me to write about.

Subject: RE: BS: New piece by CapriUni 4 the 'Art Garden'
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 06:58 PM

Sweet One that is just beautiful and as soon as my eyes clear a bit I'll finish this post...........

Okay..........

"I expect that to be an easier topic for me to write about."

But often the best work comes from the most pain just as sometimes the best kind of answer has no sound. It will be hard to top that one.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: New piece by CapriUni 4 the 'Art Garden'
From: CapriUni
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 07:20 PM

Well, what was hard about the topic "sports" was that I had to find something within the subject to be interested in, 'cause, really, I have very little opinion about them one way or another.

I actually tried watching the Olympics, this year, with an eye toward 'research,' but had to stop before I was driven to bang my head against the wall, to relieve the boredom...

But I do have opinions about snow!

Subject: RE: BS: New piece by CapriUni 4 the 'Art Garden'
From: Emma B
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 07:48 PM

Capri - it reminds me of my favourite line about sport in a song -
At Seventeen by Janis Ian
"....and those whose names were never called, when choosing sides for basketball" - the story of my life :)

Now snow! - I have a wonderful list of all the Innuit names for snow somewheres

Subject: RE: BS: New piece by CapriUni 4 the 'Art Garden'
From: katlaughing
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 08:32 PM

I agree with Spaw, CU, it'll be tough to top that one, BUT I know you will! Thanks for sharing it. I always look forward to your Art Garden pieces and, of course, your other pieces.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: New piece by CapriUni 4 the 'Art Garden'
From: Janie
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 08:46 PM

Wow

What a painter of words you are!

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: New piece by CapriUni 4 the 'Art Garden'
From: CapriUni
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 10:41 PM

Thanks for the compliments, guys...

But, um. I think I missed something in the writing of it, because I wanted to convey more a feeling of defiance and satire. Sorrow and regret were the furthest things from my mind when I was writing it, and at the time I was living through it.

Frankly, I'm thankful that I was spared the compulsory competition, and only regretted that the grown-ups in charge wouldn't let me spend the period in the library instead (I mean, it's not like I was asking to leave school and go hang out on Main Street).

The biggest lesson I took away from elementary school: Grown-ups are idiots.

Maybe if I change that first line to:

She watches from the edge

Subject: RE: BS: New piece by CapriUni 4 the 'Art Garden'
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 12:09 AM

I think your original line is better. I like the use of the word "sidelines." I did get defiance, showing *them* they can't force you or bother you as you will just practice music in your head, etc. I got a feeling of boredom offset by a very active mind and fertile imagination and I am REALLY glad you have painted with a broad spectrum of colours! Why do they always use puce or what we called "monkey-vomit green?":-)

Subject: RE: BS: New piece by CapriUni 4 the 'Art Garden'
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 03:30 AM

Whoa.....You DID get defiance and NOT sorrow or regret. Leave it alone!!! Karen read it and found it the same....and also sends you her "compliments" as well. It would take a long treatise to explain my feelings but let's just say you touched something!!! It had nothing (even less than nothing to do with regret.......and interestingly, any love or hate of sport isn't a part of that.

Anytime you write something that hits people on different and diverse levels regardless of your own intent.............Well, you have really GOT something there! That's some FIIIIINE writin'.....

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: New piece by CapriUni 4 the 'Art Garden'
From: CapriUni
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 05:58 AM

Why do they always use puce or what we called "monkey-vomit green?":-)

Actually, it's equal measure brown and purple. When double-checking the color definition via Google, I came upon the best description, yet: "...the color of a dead mouse's tail," when I read that, I remembered exactly the "accent" color of the gym walls.

I also learned, via that self-same search that "puce" is from the French for "flea," and is the color of a blood-engorged flea... or of the stain made by flea feces.

...charming, eh?

"Monkey-vomit green" would have been a vast improvement...

And Spaw: I'm sorry. I guess I have a knee-jerk defensive reaction against coming off as sentimental... Must be from all the little old ladies who wanted to pat me on the head and say "God bless you!" as a kid.... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: New piece by CapriUni 4 the 'Art Garden'
From: gnu
Date: 21 Apr 06 - 06:09 AM

I agree with Spaw. You do "GOT something there!"

Thanks for sharing... again.

Subject: RE: BS: New piece by CapriUni 4 the 'Art Garden'
From: CapriUni
Date: 22 Apr 06 - 11:15 AM

Thanks, gnu.

Am back home in NYS, now, for the Art Garden tonight, and am practicing reading the piece aloud. My nose is all stuffed up with allergies, though (hope it clears up a bit by tonight), and reading clearly without so much nasal twang is a challenge.

It will be a good night, whatever happens, though. It alsways is.

Subject: RE: BS: New piece by CapriUni 4 the 'Art Garden'
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Apr 06 - 11:58 PM

Good for you, CU! I think I'd take monkey-vomit green over puce/dead mouse tail anyday.:-)