BS: The Barbeque

Subject: BS: The Barbeque
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 13 May 06 - 09:00 AM

Do you like Barbeques?

I do.

I'm a guy.

So have you any special recipies, organisational plans, etc>

I'll start you off.


After many long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to Summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine:
1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes
      dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray
      along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and
      takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer
      in hand.

Here comes the important part:

4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

more routine....

5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
      He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while
      he deals with the situation.

Important again:

7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine...

8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,
      sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off."

And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no
pleasing some women...

Subject: RE: BS: The Barbeque
From: John O'L
Date: 13 May 06 - 09:21 AM

Foolestroupe you forgot about how she brings the full keg home from the pub, sets it up, and then takes the empty one back the next day in the back of the ute.

Subject: RE: BS: The Barbeque
From: GUEST,Wesley S
Date: 13 May 06 - 09:27 AM

It all sounds good to me.

Subject: RE: BS: The Barbeque
From: gnu
Date: 13 May 06 - 11:13 AM

I say, has she a sister, this woman?

Subject: RE: BS: The Barbeque
From: Bill D
Date: 13 May 06 - 11:17 AM

PUT ANOTHER LOG ON THE FIRE
(Tompall Glaser)

cho: Put another log on the fire
Cook me up some bacon and some beans,
Go out to the car and change the tires,
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans;
(C'mon baby, you can)
Fill my pipe and then go fetch my slippers,
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire, babe
And come and tell me why you're leaving me.

Well, don't I let you wash the car on Sunday?
And don't I warn you when you're getting fat?
And ain't I gonna take you fishin' someday?
Well, a man can't love a woman more than that.
And ain't I always nice to your kid sister?
Well don't I take her drivin' every night?
So sit there at my feet 'cause I like you when you're sweet
And you know that it's not feminine to fight...

cho:

Subject: RE: BS: The Barbeque
From: gnu
Date: 13 May 06 - 12:25 PM

Finnegan's Wake... partial...

Then Maggie O'Connor took up the job
"O Biddy," says she, "You're wrong, I'm sure"
Biddy she gave her a belt in the gob
And left her sprawlin' on the floor.
And then the war did soon engage
'Twas woman to woman and man to man,
Shillelagh law was all the rage
And a row and a ruction soon began.

Chorus

Subject: RE: BS: The Barbeque
From: open mike
Date: 13 May 06 - 01:06 PM

luckily i am a vegetarian and don't go in for such nonesense..
by the way isn't it more like winter now "down under" robin?

Subject: RE: BS: The Barbeque
From: open mike
Date: 13 May 06 - 01:10 PM

but barbeque sauce/marinade is a wonderful thing
I use lots of garlic, and soy sauce (tamari) and
a bit of balsamic vinegar and some fresh herbs,
and lots of onions too, and a bit of red pepper
(cayenne, chili, paprika and / or tabasco sauce)
you don't need ketchup or tomatoes in it, but
that kind of sauce is good too.

throw a few ears of corn on the barbie grill
(peel back the husk and remove the silk first,
then replace the leaves and soak in water before
tossing on)

Subject: RE: BS: The Barbeque
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 13 May 06 - 07:43 PM

Hey now you guys!

Stop it with the songs already!

You want this thread has to be made back into a music thread and put above the line?

I start music threads, and they turn into BS chats!

I start a BS thread, and you clowns start putting songs in it!

Mama don' allow no singin' in da BS threads!!!

Now I return you to our normal thread!

Geesh! (mutter, mutter, mumble, mumble...)

Robin
:P

Subject: RE: BS: The Barbeque
From: Ebbie
Date: 13 May 06 - 08:41 PM

Foolestroupe, as Open MIke suggested, aren't you coming up on winter rather than summer? Or are you identifyng with us?

Subject: RE: BS: The Barbeque
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 13 May 06 - 08:58 PM

They're coming to take me away, haha!
They're coming to take me away, hoho, hehe
To the happy land! where life is beautiful all the time...

Subject: RE: BS: The Barbeque
From: GUEST
Date: 13 May 06 - 11:26 PM

It's always summer in Queensland, right Fooles?

Subject: RE: BS: The Barbeque
From: gnu
Date: 14 May 06 - 08:06 AM

Too bloody hot to BBQ there in the real summer.

Subject: RE: BS: The Barbeque
From: Charley Noble
Date: 14 May 06 - 09:57 AM

But there's music in the air!

As we bused out to Earlwood,
That dark and fateful day,
We little thought our precious lives
Might be blown away!
We were greeted with great warmth,
Dark beer and BBQ,
There was marinated chicken,
Beef, lamb and kangaroo.

But it's haul upon the halyards,
Lash down that plate of roo -
I tell you, mates,
We had a time at John and Jenny's BBQ!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble