BS: The Porter Black

Subject: BS: The Porter Black
From: paddymac
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 11:22 PM

While searching through old and dusty files somewhere deep within the virtual bowels of my aging computer, in search of something else, of course, I came upon this bit I wrote about ten years ago and published in a local organizational newsletter. I enjoyed re-reading it for its value as an explanatory and heuristic device whenever some less enlightened soul might impugn my everlasting search for the perfrct pint. I intend to dust it off and use it as a patter piece in the repertoire. If if moves anyone in Mudcat Land, feel free to use it, with due attribution to "Paddymac @ Mudcat."


THE PORTER BLACK (IT REALLY IS GOOD FOR YOU)

by

Patrick M. McCaffrey


Generations of Irish health care practitioners and mothers have firmly believed that Ireland's national drink, the porter black, is good for you, despite the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. Aside from its rich color, creamy head and full-bodied flavor, it's very much like a light beer - only ten calories to the ounce, and a bit less than 4.5% alcohol. So what makes it so good for you? Well, one important factor might be a group of naturally occurring compounds collectively known as "bioflavinoids". I recall hearing a report on the radio about a year so ago of a study done at the University of Minnesota (I think that's right, but I'm trusting to memory here) in which the investigators found that our delicious elixir is actually a relatively rich source of bioflavinoids. It is so rich, in fact, that they "recommended" two pints a day as a way to get your daily dose of bioflavinoids. [Please note: since bioflavinoids are not a vitamin, there is no recommended daily allowance.] Granted, the report was slightly tongue-in-cheek, but aside from that strength, it hinted at a perfectly valid reason to visit your friendly publican. I mean, it's a matter of good health!

The more serious-minded reader is probably wondering: "What the divil is a bioflavinoid?" Those less-serious-minded of us probably couldn't care less. We are secure in the knowledge that if it's in "the stuff", why, then it must be good for us.

Quite by accident, I recently encountered a wee pamphlet by Dr. Jeffery Bland, entitled "Bioflavinoids: the friends and helpers of vitamin C in many hard-to-treat ailments", in which he tells the story of these marvelous "helpers". They were discovered back in the 1930s by a biochemist, Dr. Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, in connection with his work in isolating and identifying ascorbic acid - vitamin C. He found synergistic substances that tended to potentiate the action of Vitamin C, and those synergistic substances were later found to be flavinoids. The compounds were initially found to reduce capillary breakage in vitamin-C deprived lab animals, and to reduce hemorrhages in vitamin-C deficient humans. The compounds were called "Vitamin P" for a while, in recognition of their action in preventing capillary permeability, but further research showed that they were not strictly vitamins and the designation was dropped in 1950.

Various researchers have found purported improvements in human functioning connected to bioflavinoid supplementation. The improvements include: 1) prevention of retinal hemorrhages; 2) reduction of capillary fragility (bruising); 3) reduced risk of stroke in high blood pressure patients; 4) increased protection against arthritis and rheumatic fever; 5) reduced risk of arteriosclerosis; 6) decreased menopausal symptoms; 7) increased protection against oral herpes infection; 8) decreased risk of diabetic cataracts; 9) decreased histamine response to allergen exposure; 10) prevention of habitual abortion; 11) reduction in ulcer problems; 12) treatment of dizziness due to inner ear problem; 13) decreased symptoms of asthma; 14) protection against radiation damage; and 15) decreased inflammation after injury.

So there you have it. If you can't find any other reason to enjoy a pint now and then, maybe one of these will work for you. You could also head to the library or the web and take on a research project. As for myself, I've taken the pledge. "Stamp out bioflavinoid deficiency NOW!"

Subject: RE: BS: The Porter Black
From: CarolC
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 12:51 AM

Ahem...

um...

bioflavonoid

sorry


Pity I'm allergic to hops...

Subject: RE: BS: The Porter Black
From: Paul Burke
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 03:53 AM

The Workman's Friend (Flann O'Brien)

When things go wrong and will not come right,
Though you do the best you can,
When life looks black as the hour of night -
A pint of plain is your only man.

When money's tight and is hard to get
And your horse has also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt -
A pint of plain is your only man.

When health is bad and your heart feels strange,
And your face is pale and wan,
When doctors say that you need a change,
A pint of plain is your only man.

When food is scarce and your larder bare
And no rashers grease your pan,
When hunger grows as your meals are rare -
A pint of plain is your only man.

In time of trouble and lousy strife,
You have still got a darlint plan,
You still can turn to a brighter life -
A pint of plain is your only man.

Subject: RE: BS: The Porter Black
From: Cllr
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 06:33 AM

leadfingers does an excellent version of this with pints listed in alphbetical order at the end. Cllr