BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival

Subject: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 04:59 AM

Bert's card is still holding good, there's a tinge of Autumn in the air and I'm bored rigid already today... so let's open up this tavern again and celebrate the Equinox - Vernal or Autumnal, depending on your hemisphere - Ramadan, Rosh Hashanah, 82 days til Christmas, Sloe crop or harvest festival....

The Tavern has been refitted since that terrible accident over Bank Holiday.... you'd think the clientele here would know not to do that with the squid..... the jello pit has been remodelled into a classy sunken bath, complete with jacuzzi fittings again, bubble bath on tap and muscle rub lotion on the side. There's a comfy little nook by the fireplace, just right for Seamus and the Captain (chains provided) and a lovely selection of rustic tables and comfy chairs for the singers. Thanks to the explosion, there's a new roof with better accoustics over the players area, and just behind the settle there is the storage unit for banjos. It leads directly round to the fireplace so they'll be kept nice and warm for you.....

There's an improvement in the bathrooms too.... The stalls are that little bit wider so you don't bang your elbows, they're made of that write on/wipe off stuff so the grafitti won't get stale (please use pens provided) and the fire extinguishers now work. I did try and get some of those scent squirters that make it smell nice in there, but it seems that urinals come with that 'cowpat fresh' smell already built in. Ah well, at least the HazMat team survived. Mostly...

So... pull yourself a beer, settle in a chair and get ready to celebrate Michaelmas.

Cheers!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: MMario
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 07:55 AM

Is it Sloe Crop Monday? already! How time flies! Seems it was just last week when I was bottling last years....ah well , time to haul out the ought-five Sloe Gin.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: artbrooks
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 08:07 AM

......and the squid sneaks in, puts nine packages of lime jello into the sunken bath, and slinks back out again......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Morticia
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 08:23 AM

It was a particularly fine crop of sloes this year. Anyone want any of last year's before I start on the next batch?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 08:51 AM

Us fellers from The West don't drink slo. We jist pour it on down! Gimme a Tom & Jerry, barkeep -- it's cold out here.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: GUEST,MAG at public terminal
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 09:04 AM

She slinks in, duct-taped song books in hand, and quietly polls the singers to see who is up for some rounds ...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 09:10 AM

Hey, as we say back home, you buy a round, I'll buy a round.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: artbrooks
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 09:20 AM

...one bottle of pop, two bottles of pop....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 09:29 AM

Of course, if it's a festival, there won't be need for so many recliners to clutter up the place-- because with the crisp, cool weather, we'll be dancing instead. [sets out chair for anticipated short breaks]

Sloe dancing, for me-- let's go, Mmario!

It's also that time of year when aqua-jogging moves indoors. I believe I hear a couple of earth-movers coming, and the builders behind them. I've said for years I needed an indoor pool on the preimses-- it took Liz's excellent thread to see it could be right here! [waterproofing the break-chair]

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: leeneia
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 09:56 AM

To the festivities i contribute the only cheerful song about autumn that I know:

---------
Goldenrod and asters, all your hands can hold!
September wears a party dress of lavender and gold.

(I learned it at age 6.)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 10:12 AM

Fortunately for Mudcatters wandering in from the surrounding autumnal countryside, that jello won't do any harm, only turn the bath green for a little while in the warm water until it filters out of the hot tub's circulating water.

The aquarium, now moved out back behind the bar, await's the arrival of it's squid guest. Hopefully that is the last appearance of jello for a while. . .

Anyone have any salmon?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 10:30 AM

In fact I do have some salmon, but it's in aspic-- well, I'll just lay it out on the buffet.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 11:14 AM

Quietly, stealthily, Ninja-like, he puts methylene blue in all the liquor, beer, wine, water, and other liquids -- except the bottle he carries clutched to his bosom.

"This is time for the blues," he thinks.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 03:51 PM

Well I got up this morning.... Saw my piddle had turned blue.
Got up this morning.... saw my piddle had turned blue.
Got up at seven, but it was Six when I went to the loo...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 04:17 PM

. . .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 04:18 PM

oh, sorry, that was me. . . a dyslexic, signing the blues. . .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Amos
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 04:49 PM

Urine is blue, dilly dilly.
Urine is green.
Urine hot water, dilly dilly,
So says the Queen.
Trouble for you dilly dilly,
Trouble all through,
Urine trouble deep, little buddy,
For making things blue.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 05:23 PM

I'll contribute a batch of my famous blueberry muffins, keeping with this developing story line.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Tootler
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 05:29 PM

Blue urine is a symptom of porphyria wot George III had and wot sent him bonkers.

Anyone brought an instrument? we can have a session

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 06:40 PM

She peed bluuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeee urine,
Bluer urine was the night....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: artbrooks
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 06:54 PM

Oh dear...the autographed Elvis picture...is it the King himself singing? ...Blue veeeellllvet...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 09:30 PM

Yes, I am singing. Oh wait, you meant Elvis. Yes, the autographed painting of Elvis on black velvet, the one done in fluorescent paints and with the blacklight shining on it, is singing too.

I just kinda thought it was time for the blues in the night....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 11:00 PM

I thought that was Bobby Vinton, not Elvis.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 11:03 PM

Vinton sang it. But Elvis is forever remembered painted on it. I say-- fugg 'em both!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 11:11 PM

"Blue urine from a red lady..."

Let's see...just a bit of this upper lip wax and the filter...is...stuck! Green Jell-O. HOORAY!!!!!

Now for the Halloween decorations.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Sep 06 - 02:25 AM

Well that's this tavern down the pan already!

: ]

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: GUEST,Sick Squid
Date: 26 Sep 06 - 08:50 AM

(UK joke) The squid lays in the tank clutching his tentacles(?) and gingerly rubbing his third left leg. What fool had jelloed everything again causing the barkeep to slip and plant a heavy size 10 in his midriff? Anyway, who needs a jacuzzi when an ordinary bath and several cans of beans work just as well. He drifts off into an uneasy slumber and dreams of his great uncle Sid, the one who palled around with that Moby fella, the one called Richard or Rick or something.

Something blue drops into the water........................

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 06 - 09:17 AM

Ah-ha! he gloats. This is also a great way to find out who pees in the pool!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Sep 06 - 09:45 AM

[How do you think the jello got green? It was lemon jello when it went in. "Lime jello" is merely the polite term we use to refer to it.]

Due to everyone's wonderful consumption of fluids in the Tavern last night-- GOOD JOB!-- the methylene blue consumed has now been fully excreted. The culprit's contamination of stored liquids can now be dealt with-- I'd suggest a unique, holiday-approriate Mudcat Healing Circle.

In any case, let the party go on! I believe some of us were dancing.....

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Sep 06 - 10:46 PM

I prop up a little jazz stand in the corner.


here is a number we do that used to be about an analyst and his patient.


My president told me
That we really needed a war

he told me we'd win it
just like he had beat poor Gore


We'll take Baghdad and we'll get right out
Capture Saddam and the people will shout

Now do you still think he's crazy?
no more ifs or ands or buts...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 06 - 11:19 PM

Ex-Lax, he thinks. Wouldn't THAT be the shits?

But he banishes even the the thought of the thought from his mind and quietly sips his rum-and-rum while sitting the corner.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: MMario
Date: 27 Sep 06 - 01:44 PM

Anyone read the latest article in the papers that claim the reason dinosaurs went extinct was because time-travelers utilized them as a food source? Hysterical - they can't believe that!

Anyone want some more Barbecued Aptosaur? Or shall I put it in the fridge for tomorrow?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Sep 06 - 02:53 PM

Aptosaur - is that right for the occasion?

And what wine would you have with it?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: MMario
Date: 27 Sep 06 - 03:00 PM

Aptosaur goes best with a single malt, not wine.

and it's perfect for all occasions where an aurochs just isn't enough.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 06 - 03:45 PM

And it's less filling, comes with batteries, and some installation is required.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Sep 06 - 05:20 PM

Maybe, but it's hell to blanch the things. There are no pots big enough.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 06 - 09:23 PM

Blanch, smanch -- it's delicious raw! What would the Japanese be for Apatosaurus sushi?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 01:50 AM

I know where you could get a cooking pot big enough to boil a teenager in, but only if you cut their legs off and layer them....

My biggest pot will only fit a small child. Or 4 cats. Or possibly Shambles ego.

Personally, I'm trying to lose some weight. Trouble is, it keeps finding me. Anyone fancy a nice plate of veggies and fruit?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 09:08 AM

Hi folks!
Saw the lights on a couple of days back, but was a bit tied up to get here sooner.
What's the programme, then?
You can put me and squid down for the 13 legged race if you like...

Quack!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: MMario
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 09:11 AM

I'm not sure. I think we're ramping up for the big birthday bash celebration - but around this place it's hard to tell.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 09:20 AM

Who is going to decorate the cake, then?
And don't let Catspaw blow out the candles, we cold lose all the walls.
Quack!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 09:26 AM

Look! The squid is dancing!

From the looks of it, this must be The Squid Jiggin' Ground!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: MMario
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 09:37 AM

Isn't he doing a hornpipe? That would make this the Squid Hornpipery.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: wysiwyg
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 09:44 AM

Oh Lord, better not let Spaw decorate the cake, either. I'm afraid to even start to picture the possible results of THAT.

Could I just ask that we not use Tavern threads to bait or bash The Shambles? (Thinking about those possible results.)

Mmario, are you dancing with me, or not? :~) I think I hear The Curly Shuffle.....

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: MMario
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 09:53 AM

awww, Wys - you know I don't dance......






oh DRAT!

the woman just don't take "NO" for an answer!!!-mumblegrumblemumble

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: artbrooks
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 10:20 AM

...and the squid, grabbing five bodhrans and five tippers, begins to play along.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 11:39 AM

A 13 legged race, Geoff--that must mean you have five? I visualize you on all fours with, um, a cane, or a stick, perhaps? Crawling around with the squid and his 8 legs? Or maybe you're counting the squid's feeding tentacles (two more appendages) and his gigantic, er, ah, member? That would be 11, and your two legs to make 13. Please enlighten us to what arrangement of appendages you have in mind?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 11:42 AM

if anyone is counting. . .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 11:57 AM

SRS, you're only squiddin' us, right?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Equinoctal Festival
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 02:15 PM

All I can tell you is Ivar's favorite saying: "Keep Clam!"