BS: Will my hemmorhoids ease if I move to Canada

Subject: RE: BS: Will my hemmorhoids ease if I move to Ca
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 05:15 AM

There never was a woman yet named Wilfred...unless as a surname.

Maybe some of you chaps are getting mixed up with the feminine name of Winifred?

Unfortunately I have no advice to give on the subject of 'Clements', or on Canada.

Subject: RE: BS: Will my hemmorhoids ease if I move to Ca
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 04:52 AM

Within a month, you'll be walking into the chemist with your head held high and saying, I want the rough, tough toilet tissue that only the mounties use when they're on the trail in the Yukon. Cos I'm Pennifere of the Rockies - I can wipe my bum with the best of them and I know more open tunings than Joni Mitcell and I can pot a ball faster than Cliff Thorburn - although the red ones have unpleasant memories for me.

Subject: RE: BS: Will my hemmorhoids ease if I move to Ca
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 04:19 AM

Hey! My Grandfather was named George!

Subject: RE: BS: Will my hemmorhoids ease if I move to Ca
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 04:04 AM

No need to take your pain in the arse with you to Canada, you will find there are plenty bleeding pains in the arses there already.
G. ¦¬]

Subject: RE: BS: Will my hemmorhoids ease if I move to Ca
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 03:46 AM

Well I think there might be something in it. You never see a mountie with piles , or a lumberjack.

You'll love it over there - singing about Rose Marie and swinging your chopper.

I bet within a within a week you'll be wiping your bum without a whimper.

Subject: RE: BS: Will my hemmorhoids ease if I move to Ca
From: number 6
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 10:59 PM

Actually Bee-dubya I think your post was a bit harsh towards Wilfred. But I do totally agree with ya.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Will my hemmorhoids ease if I move to Ca
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 10:56 PM

Right on the mark, Bee-dub! ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Will my hemmorhoids ease if I move to Ca
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 10:55 PM

Well, I'm simply going by the information that Master Wilfred provided in this thread, which I believe was his first appearance on the forum...

Wifred Pennifere's search for rejection...

Subject: RE: BS: Will my hemmorhoids ease if I move to Ca
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 10:47 PM

I totally reject your need for hemmorhoid relief, Mr. Pennifere, as I reject everything else about your totally unworthy self! Keep your worthless, hemmorhoid-infested carcass on the eastern side of the Atlantic! The entire North American continent rejects you!

Subject: RE: BS: Will my hemmorhoids ease if I move to Ca
From: number 6
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 10:46 PM

Thanks for the clarification LH.

Lives in Soho and collects doilies eh .... hmmmmmmm.

Good luck to Wilfred Pennifere.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Will my hemmorhoids ease if I move to Ca
From: catspaw49
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 10:45 PM

The guy is named Wilfred huh? No wonder the fucker is eat up big hairy 'roids................And how do you really know he's a he and not a she or a she-he or a he-she or even a holee sheeit?

The whole thing is quite mysterious as are all men named George as well.........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Will my hemmorhoids ease if I move to Ca
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 10:39 PM

Odd that you should say that, Spaw. There really are a LOT of people around here named "George" and they're almost all over 50 years old. Almost no one around here is named "Rej", but you can throw a stone in any direction and have a good chance of hitting someone named George on a sunny day.

However, I think Wilfred is a somewhat younger man (20's? 30's?), not an older woman. In fact, I know he is. He lives in Soho and he collects doilies. I fear you may have seriously hurt his feelings with your unkind comments.

Subject: RE: BS: Will my hemmorhoids ease if I move to Ca
From: GUEST,Howard the turtle
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 10:29 PM

Forget it. They don't allow constipated old bags like you to immigrate into Canada. Now matter what or how many rare skills you have.

Subject: RE: BS: Will my hemmorhoids ease if I move to Ca
From: catspaw49
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 10:28 PM

No Wilfred......I'm sorry to tell you they will probably get worse. Should you settle in some quaint little place like, oh, say, Orillia for instance, you'll be under constant aggravation by simple shits and broke-dick mamaluccas often named George which will cause your 'roids to swell, fester, and rupture, to the point of needing a pouch attached to your u-trou just to carry the fuckers around.

Don't do it dear lady! Stay where you are and get a case of Preparation H and a rubber donut.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Will my hemmorhoids ease if I move to Ca
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 10:28 PM

Dunno - but ours might....

Subject: RE: BS: Will my hemmorhoids ease if I move to Ca
From: GUEST,Wilfred Pennifere
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 10:26 PM

"Canada House"? Excellent. I'll get right on it. I am highly qualified in a number of rare skills, so I don't foresee any great obstacles.

Subject: RE: BS: Will my hemmorhoids ease if I move to Ca
From: number 6
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 10:22 PM

F&$k ... oh well.

Yeah it's true. Contact Canada House in London. They'll provide you with the particulars.

Good luck.

Jeeeeesh.

biLL

Subject: BS: Will my hemmorhoids ease if I move to Ca
From: GUEST,Wilfred Pennifere
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 10:17 PM

...nada?

I am willing to do anything that will help at this point. Even move to "the colonies". I've heard that most things are better in Canada. Is it true? I feel that I have suffered enough in Great Britain and I am ready for a change. What qualifications will I need to emigrate to Canada?