BS: What's a guy to do?

Subject: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: BaldEagle2
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 02:17 PM

My good lady has gone out for a couple of hours, practicing with her trainer for some long distance ocean swim she is planning to do sometime in the future.

(She cannot actually swim yet - so she and her trainer simply put on and take off that grease stuff ocean swimmers have to cover themselves with.   He tells me that this is what all trainers do at this stage of the learning process.   I trust him, because he is a professional).

Anyway, within 30 minutes of her departure, I have noticed a pound package of butter is lying on the kitchen work surface, and I don't know how it got there.

My dilemma is, if she put it out on purpose and I go and put it back into the fridge, I am in dead lumber.   On the other hand, if it is out by accident, and I don't put it back in the fridge, I am in equal dead lumber.

And the agonizing thing is, whichever is the right thing to do, she will produce one of them irrefutable feminine arguments to show how obvious it all should have been to anyone who can think straight.

So - help, please.

(And could you be sharpish with it?   Thanks).

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 02:21 PM

Go buy another pound of butter.

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: open mike
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 02:23 PM

cut it in half--
put one in
leave one
out

cover your bases..

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 02:26 PM

It ain't rocket surgery. If she was intending to use it for baking, she'll want it room temperature. If not, it will keep for a few hours at room temperature at which point upon her return it can be used or put in the refrigerator.

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 02:27 PM

Sounds a bit reminiscent of Last Tango in Paris somehow...

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 02:29 PM

Have a female friend or neighbor come over and decide what to do with it.

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: bobad
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 02:37 PM

That was the first thought arrived in my mind too McG of H (does that make us dirty old men?)

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: GUEST,Golden Cow
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 03:00 PM

Something melting through to me about this, could she be slipping about ? Is the guy a greasy character ?
Sounds to me as if your wife could be spreading easily.
I think you both should have a heart to heart and if she's milking this situation confront her. Have you thought about reading her dairy ?

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: GUEST,memyself
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 03:19 PM

I'm sure she intended to take the butter with her, but in all the excitement, forgot it. By the time she gets home, she will have figured out a way to blame you, wherever the butter is. I would suggest faking a medical emergency before she gets a chance to start in on you ...

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 03:23 PM

Do you have a dog?

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: gnu
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 04:40 PM

Don't do anything. You were never in the kitchen. You never saw the butter. Cover any collateral stories as required.

Stay low, keep moving.

We are praying you make it, YWMO.

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: GUEST, Topsie
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 04:48 PM

Add it to 2 pounds of flour (and just a little salt) and make pastry. You can then prove how wholesome YOU are by making apple pies, if you've got any apples.

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 04:56 PM

I reread your post. She is trying to give you a headache. Just say NO to butter.

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: bobad
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 05:03 PM

Whatever you do remember to "Stay Calm, Be Brave, Wait for the Signs."

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 05:04 PM

You neglect to say if it is salted or unsalted butter.

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 05:07 PM

Sorry, Jack. She ain't coming back. The butter is her way of saying goodbye.

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: BaldEagle2
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 05:08 PM

Thank you all for your wonderful advice, and I acted on most of it.

I put half the butter back into the fridge, and then got into a hot bath to give me a cast iron alibi that I had never been in the kitchen at all.

When she got home and asked "what the hell have you been messing about at?" I pretended to faint from shock.

So far it seems to have worked.

Thanks all.

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 05:21 PM

Lower the room to fridge temprature. It is now at room temperature and fridge temperature. Problem solved.

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: Deckman
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 05:30 PM

Maybe she's a closet "Dairy Queen!" CHEERS, Bob(deckman)Nelson

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: GUEST, Topsie
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 06:04 PM

If you insisted you hadn't been in the kitchen how did she think half the butter got into the fridge?

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: gnu
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 06:10 PM

The same way it got on the the kitchen work surface in the first place. Smart lad, Billy boy.

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: Mr Yellow
Date: 04 Dec 06 - 08:08 AM

Buy her flowers - butter her up

Works on Miss Buttercup

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: Barry Finn
Date: 04 Dec 06 - 01:18 PM

What Butter! You left a pound of butter out? I didn't see any butter! If I saw the butter out there I would've of________, I'm not that stupid. Are you crazy?

Barry

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Dec 06 - 01:38 PM

Ever see Last Tango in Paris?

Subject: RE: BS: What's a guy to do?
From: Paul Burke
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 03:50 AM

You ain't nothin' butter Hound Dog
Lyin' all the time
You ain't nothin' butter Hound Dog
Lyin' all the time
You left half the butter out and you ain't no friend of mine