BS: Why did Santa.....?

Subject: BS: Why did Santa.....?
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 23 Dec 06 - 07:57 PM

Why did Santa give a present to the sailor? He decided he was nautical but nice.

Subject: RE: BS: Why did Santa.....?
From: Cluin
Date: 23 Dec 06 - 08:09 PM

Why did Quagmire hack Santa's computer?

Because Santa keeps a list of all the naughty girls.

Subject: RE: BS: Why did Santa.....?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 23 Dec 06 - 08:21 PM

Why was Santa's Toy factory closed down ?

They were in breach of Elfin safety regulations

Subject: RE: BS: Why did Santa.....?
From: Cluin
Date: 23 Dec 06 - 08:30 PM

Why was Santa smiling all day?

Because Santa Claus comes tonight.

Subject: RE: BS: Why did Santa.....?
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 24 Dec 06 - 12:19 AM

And tonight's the night.   Badda-bing.

Subject: RE: BS: Why did Santa.....?
From: Amos
Date: 24 Dec 06 - 12:30 AM

Dang, this is a witty thread.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Why did Santa.....?
From: freda underhill
Date: 24 Dec 06 - 02:02 AM

Santa's Little Angel

One particular Christmas season, a long long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip... but there were problems everywhere.

Four of his elves got sick, the temporary elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones. So Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs Clause told Santa that her mother was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found three of them about ready to give birth, and two had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where. More stress. Then he went to load the
sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag to the ground scattering the toys.

So, feeling very frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had hid the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into a hundred pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that the mice >had eaten the straw it was made from.

Just then... The doorbell rang and he cussed on his way to the door.
Santa opened the door and there was a little Angel with a great big Christmas tree. The Angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa ! Isn't it just a lovely day ? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree ? Where would you like me to stick it ?"
      
...... And thus began the tradition of the little Angel on top of the Christmas tree...

Subject: RE: BS: Why did Santa.....?
From: bfdk
Date: 24 Dec 06 - 03:38 AM

Oh, Freda... LOL!!

And a Merry Christmas to you :-))

Bente

Subject: RE: BS: Why did Santa.....?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 24 Dec 06 - 08:28 AM

Rudolph and the other reindeer are lying all in a heap, stunned, amid the wreckage of a ramshackled building. Santa's pretty mad--

"Rudolph, you F**king IDIOT! You're fired!"

"What did I do?" protests young Rudolph. "I followed your directions!"

Santa replies scathingly, "I SAID, 'the SHMITT house', dummy!"

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Why did Santa.....?
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 02:34 AM

At least we know why Santa never had any children.

Subject: RE: BS: Why did Santa.....?
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 02:35 AM

and he does it in a chimney.....

Subject: RE: BS: Why did Santa.....?
From: GUEST,Santa
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 08:28 AM

That does it. You are all on my list for next year - and I'm not talking about the 'nice' list, either. You Guests - you had better believe that I know who you are, too. Nothing is hidden! You had all better clean up your acts RIGHT NOW! Hilda and Bente, I thought so much better of you two girls!

Subject: RE: BS: Why did Santa.....?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 04 Jan 07 - 02:35 AM

OK Santa,
I have just finished cleaning up after you came down my chimney again this year.

At least you only come once a year...

Subject: RE: BS: Why did Santa.....?
From: Megan L
Date: 04 Jan 07 - 05:32 AM

Dear santa you either havent been watching that pair closely enogh or you are finally going a bit senile. "Expect better of them" You were lucky that was them being well behaved:)