BS: Has Chongo been to Shreveport lately?

Subject: BS: Has Chongo been to Shreveport lately?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 03:01 PM

Didn't I hear something about Chongo taking a southern vacation a few months back?

Associated Press

SHREVEPORT, La. -- It's both a surprise and a mystery. At Caddo Parish's Chimp Haven, where retired male chimpanzees all get vasectomies, a female chimp has turned up pregnant. Chimp Haven managers knew something was up when they could not find one of their chimps last week.

Teresa, who's been at Chimp Haven for the past year and a half, was missing during the morning rounds. Later, she appeared with a newborn chimpanzee in her arms.

"Well, we were all just a little bit surprised when we heard the news," said Linda Brent, a spokeswoman for Chimp Haven.

Teresa was in a group with 17 other chimpanzees -- seven of them males.

Now Chimp Haven will have to determine paternity. "We're going to be doing a paternity test, just like you would do on people," Brent said.

Workers have started collecting hair samples from the chimps for testing. Once they identify the father, it's back to the operating room for him.

The baby chimpanzee was named Tracy and she and her mother are doing fine, Brent said.

Teresa, who is in her 40s, had 10 other offspring before retiring to Chimp Haven. This is her first in 13 years.

It's also the first chimpanzee born at the sanctuary although officials there hope there will be no more accidents.

Teresa and her daughter will not be separated. Chimp Haven supporter Bill Robinson is sponsoring her so she can spend her life with her mother at the sanctuary, officials said.


Perhaps we should make sure Chongo's friend Little Hawk sends along a DNA sample to the sanctuary.

Subject: RE: BS: Has Chongo been to Shreveport lately?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 05:01 PM

Gotta watch them prison guards.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Has Chongo been to Shreveport lately?
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 05:40 PM

I never believed that "E-Bay" story of his.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Has Chongo been to Shreveport lately?
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 05:45 PM

Are you suggesting Little Hawk send some of Chongo's DNA or his own? I mean, well...........let's face it it IS Hawk and he's pretty liberal in his thoughts and all plus he and Chongo are known to share lots of things......and, uh........well, ya' know................

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Has Chongo been to Shreveport lately?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 06:17 PM

If it turns out that all the male chimps test sperm-free, this case could really set Christian theology on its ear. You know all those folks who've been waiting for the Second Coming never entertained this possibility.

Subject: RE: BS: Has Chongo been to Shreveport lately?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 07:27 PM

I can recall being desperate at times...but....not quite THAT desperate!

I asked Chongo about it. He wasn't very forthcoming. That makes me wonder... Shreveport, eh? Hmmm.

Subject: RE: BS: Has Chongo been to Shreveport lately?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 07:53 PM

Am I REALLY the only one who caught THIS oxymoron:

...Caddo Parish's Chimp Haven, where retired male chimpanzees all get vasectomies...

C'mon, guys, you KNOW there is something wrong with THAT picture right off the gitgo!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Has Chongo been to Shreveport lately?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 09:07 PM

Right! Geez...do I gotta spell it out for you people?

The place is a friggin' concentration camp! I wouldn't be surprised if it's run by "Doctor Mengele" or somebody like that. "Chimp Haven!" Ha! Do you suppose those male chimps asked for vasectomies??? I don't think so! Do you figure that any poor female chimp confined in there might appreciate a little love now and then? I would figger so.

I ain't sayin' I been to Shreveport. I ain't sayin' I ain't been to Shreveport. But I know what I know.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Has Chongo been to Shreveport lately?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 09:15 PM

Naw, ya don't get it. The male chimps haven't been friggin' castrated! They've just had vasectomies. They're like navel oranges: all the juice, none of the seeds. They can get laid as often as they want. Well... as often as the females will let them at least. They're chimps, you know, not bonobos....

Subject: RE: BS: Has Chongo been to Shreveport lately?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 09:49 PM

Chongo takes fertility pretty seriously. He doesn't believe in "shooting blanks".

Subject: RE: BS: Has Chongo been to Shreveport lately?
From: GUEST,riverboat annie
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 10:26 PM

Use a consistentname, Little Hawk! What's good for the goose is good for the gander. YOu're not allowed to play characters on Mudcat, you know.

---

Chongo IS a consistent user name, Harpgirl - quite unlike your name-blank Guest posts.
-Joe Offer-