Subject: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: jimlad9 Date: 31 Jan 07 - 07:25 AM I say, I say,I say my wife has gone to the West Indies. Jamaica?. No! she went of her own accord _________________________________________________________________ I say,I say,I say my dog has no nose How does he smell?. Terrible!. ________________________________________________________________ I say,I say,I say my wheelie-bin is full of Toadstools. How do you know?. Well there's not Mushroom inside. |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: GUEST,CrazyEddie Date: 31 Jan 07 - 09:07 AM I say, I say, I say, This dustbin is full of Lilies! How do you know they're lilies? 'Cos Lily's wearin' 'em. I say, This bin's got a police-dog in it. How do you know its'a police-dog? There's a policeman with it! |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Scrump Date: 31 Jan 07 - 09:35 AM There's no need to say it three times, I heard you the first time, I'm not deaf! |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Georgiansilver Date: 31 Jan 07 - 09:41 AM I say, I say, can I bring my dog up on your bus? Certainly sir! Uurrggghhhhh. |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Georgiansilver Date: 31 Jan 07 - 09:42 AM I say I say I say, what's the difference between the Whitehall Theatre and a public toilet. I don't know, what is the ...........................toilet? The Whitehall theatre is for Arts and Farces! |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Scrump Date: 31 Jan 07 - 11:10 AM Georgiansilver, you could have said what is the difference between the Whitehall Theatre and the House of Commons... :-) |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Scrump Date: 31 Jan 07 - 11:30 AM What's the difference between the Millennium Dome (failed casino venue) and John Prescott? One of them is a hugely expensive and ridiculous waste of space and should be got rid of, to avoid any further loss to the taxpayer... ...and the other is a building on the Thames. |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Cluin Date: 31 Jan 07 - 11:40 AM I say, I say, I say do you have Prince Albert in a can? I do indeed. Well, you best let him out, old chap. Queen Vicki's missing her nightly shagging something awful. And he needs to cleanse his piercing, doesn't he? |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: GUEST,Can't tell jokes. Date: 31 Jan 07 - 11:46 AM So, is your wife going to Jamaica... (Ooops!) |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Georgiansilver Date: 31 Jan 07 - 12:18 PM I say I say I say, what's the difference between Camilla Parker-Bowles and a belligerent baby? A belligerent baby chucks Farleys! |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: jimlad9 Date: 31 Jan 07 - 12:32 PM I say,I say,I say Whats the difference between a cross-eyed cowboy and a constipated owl ? A cross-eyed cowboy shoots and shoots and can't hit................... _________________________________________________________________ I say,I say,I say Whats the difference between a Barrow-Boy and a Dachshund? A Barrow-Boy bawls out his wares on the pavement........................ __________________________________________________________________ I say,I say,I say how many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris? I don't know it has never been tried ---------------------------------------------------------- I say,I,say,I,say whats the difference between a slice of bread and the entire French male poulation You can make soldiers out of bread |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: GUEST,Mr Red Date: 31 Jan 07 - 01:24 PM IS IS IS What's the difference between a dressmaker and a melodeon player? One tucks-up yer frills |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Q (Frank Staplin) Date: 31 Jan 07 - 01:29 PM What, only in England, you say? GOOD! |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 31 Jan 07 - 02:59 PM Thanks for posting. you gave me my first smile of the day. |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Rapparee Date: 31 Jan 07 - 02:59 PM I say, have you heard that Sir Reginald is living in a tree in Borneo with an orangatang? Male or female?? Female, of course! Nothing queer about Sir Reginald! |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: fat B****rd Date: 31 Jan 07 - 03:13 PM I SAY, I SAY I SAY I shot my dog the other day Was he mad ? Well, he wasn't too pleased. |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: John O'L Date: 31 Jan 07 - 04:10 PM Where's my tiger's head? |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Cluin Date: 31 Jan 07 - 04:11 PM I say, I say, I say, have you lived around here all your life? Not yet. |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Little Hawk Date: 31 Jan 07 - 04:15 PM Ha! Ha! Ha! Nothing like British humour! Keep 'em comin'! |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Joybell Date: 31 Jan 07 - 05:39 PM Cluin's one is Rural American. Put the I say I say in front of the lines in the Arkansaw Traveller and you've got American ones. Cheers, Joy |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Jean(eanjay) Date: 31 Jan 07 - 05:51 PM I like the John Prescott one; are there any more? |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Gurney Date: 31 Jan 07 - 05:59 PM I say, I say, I say, Whats the difference between a good vacuum cleaner and a Swiss admiral? A good vacuum cleaner sucks and never fails! |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: frogprince Date: 31 Jan 07 - 09:01 PM What's the difference between a mailbox and an outhouse? |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: frogprince Date: 31 Jan 07 - 09:01 PM Never mind, I'll mail it myself. |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: GUEST,CrazyEddie Date: 01 Feb 07 - 04:49 AM Is IS IS.... The other day, whilst on Safari in Kenya, I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How the hell he got into my pyjamas, I'll never know! BTW, MY wife went to Indonisia Jakarta? No, she sailed there! |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Georgiansilver Date: 01 Feb 07 - 05:39 AM I say I say I say, what's the difference between a good egg and a good screw? You can beat a good egg! I say I say I say young lady, what is the difference between sex and conversation? I don't know, what is the diff....... ...... .... .....ion? I see we must have a long chat (or perhaps I should give you a stiff talking to!) I say I say I say, what's the difference between a nun in Church and a nun in the bath? A nun in Church has a soul full of hope! I say I say I say, what is the difference between hard and light? You can go to sleep with the light on! |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Scrump Date: 01 Feb 07 - 08:07 AM I say, etc. (I typed 'etc.' there to save me typing out 'I say, I say, I say' in full). What's the difference between a bodhran player and Radox bath salts? Radox bucks up the feet. |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: JennyO Date: 01 Feb 07 - 09:48 AM Where's my tiger's head? Four foot from 'is tail. I say, I say, I say, what is the difference between a musician and a large pizza? The pizza feeds a family of four. I say, I say, I say, if tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make foghorns out of? |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Scrump Date: 01 Feb 07 - 09:58 AM I say, I say, I say, if tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make foghorns out of? Aha, I'm been wanting to know the answer to this one for years - I could never make out what the bloke says on the record :-) |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Wolfgang Date: 01 Feb 07 - 12:08 PM I can't really contribute to this thread for our jokes of this type for obvious reasons cannot be translated and remain jokes. What's the difference between a train and a woman's hand? A train moves in a hard way over the switches. (I told you it doesn't work.) But I've got a question. We start with "What's the difference between..." All your jokes remain jokes without the "I say, I say, I say..." opening. So what's the significance or meaning of that opening? Wolfgang |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Georgiansilver Date: 01 Feb 07 - 12:16 PM Hi Wolfgang. The I say I say I say was used a lot in Old English Music Halls back in Victorian/Edwardian days. |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Cluin Date: 01 Feb 07 - 12:17 PM It's a verbal equivalent of a wink, Wolf. A way of saying "Here comes a joke!" |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Dead Horse Date: 01 Feb 07 - 01:50 PM I say, I say, I say, Can a woman with a wooden leg change a five pound note? I dunno, can she? Of course not, she's only got half a knicker ! |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Cluin Date: 01 Feb 07 - 03:32 PM I say, I say, I say,... the state of morals among the young, today. I, for one, never had sex with my wife before we were married. How about you? I don't know. What was her maiden name? |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Cluin Date: 01 Feb 07 - 03:37 PM I say, I say, I say, this viagra's a wonderful drug. A wonder drug, it is! What does your wife think? I dunno. Haven't gone home yet. |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Alec Date: 01 Feb 07 - 03:46 PM I say,I say,I say,Did you here that the French have perfected a new Tank? 16 reverse gears & 1 forward one in case they get attacked from behind. |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:41 AM Scrump... the answer is allegedly "Fog Off" RtS |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Scrump Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:55 AM What's the difference between a train and a woman's hand? A train moves in a hard way over the switches. (I told you it doesn't work.) Hahahahahahahaha! Good one, Wolfgang! :-) I'd be interested to know what makes it funny in German though, even if the joke would not be funny itself in English. Presumably the word for 'switches' in German has some other meaning? Anyway, it reminds me of The Funniest Joke In The World |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: freda underhill Date: 02 Feb 07 - 07:40 AM I Say,I Say,I Say, What do you call a cow that can't have a calf Decaffinated I Say,I Say,I Say, What Did The Elephant Say To The Naked Man? How Do You Eat With That Thing? |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Wilfried Schaum Date: 02 Feb 07 - 08:00 AM Scrump - Wolfgang's joke can't work in any other language. The German "Weichen" can mean "switches" or "soft ones" ... |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Scrump Date: 02 Feb 07 - 08:33 AM Thanks Wilfried - you answered my question. I now understand why it's funny in German :-) |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: The Doctor Date: 02 Feb 07 - 10:21 AM The only other 'j' joke, to go with Jamaica and Jakarta, that I came up with was this: I met a fabulous girl in this port in northern Italy. Genoa? No, I'd never seen her before in my life. Also: What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same. There is no answer to the foghorn question. |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Scrump Date: 02 Feb 07 - 10:42 AM There is, it's on the record, but somebody plays the drums over the answer, so I can't hear what it is. I've wanted to know for years. |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Michael Date: 02 Feb 07 - 11:26 AM I thought everybody knew the answer to the 'Foghorn Question'; you don't even have to think about it. It's a foghorn conclusion. Mike |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: autolycus Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:07 PM I say,I say. I say.do you know what they say about Americans? No,what do they say........Americans? What they can't eat, they can. Ivor |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: jeffp Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:47 PM The way I learned that one is, "We eat what we can and what we can't, we can. |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: The Doctor Date: 02 Feb 07 - 03:34 PM I have just played my copy of 'Does your chewing gum lose its flavour?' and what follows the foghorn question is 'Boom, boom!' Maybe there are other, different recordings. |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: Blindlemonsteve Date: 02 Feb 07 - 04:06 PM I say I say I say, My Grandad used to eat Hammers in the circus Was he Professional No, he was an ammer chewer |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: GUEST,heric Date: 02 Feb 07 - 05:09 PM I say, I say I say, How many wives have you had? What? Um. . You mean my own? |
Subject: RE: BS: I Say,I Say,I Say From: bubblyrat Date: 02 Feb 07 - 07:33 PM What"s the difference between a Magicians Wand, and a Policeman"s Truncheon ?? A Magician"s Wand is for Cunning Stunts !!----- |