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05 Nov 07 - 02:28 PM (#2186952) Subject: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Jim Lad I'm one who always gets upset when a performer doesn't live up to my expectations. I used to believe that overweight performers have three strikes against them when it comes to entertaining.... "If you don't care enough about yourself, what can you possibly have to offer others" Now in my fifties, I'm about two stones overweight and try to convince myself that the audience is getting more than they paid for. How do you know when it's time to put the guitar case under the bed? |
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05 Nov 07 - 02:34 PM (#2186958) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: John MacKenzie Do it now Jim , before the springs reach the floor ;) G |
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05 Nov 07 - 02:43 PM (#2186967) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Peace Damn. 1) I was looking to start a thread with that title--or something close to it but yesterday. 2) After reading Jim's post I meant to comment much as Giok did. 3) We need a system whereby we number the jokes/witticisms so as to save time posting. I'll start. #43 |
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05 Nov 07 - 02:45 PM (#2186969) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: John MacKenzie Not in mixed company please Peace! G Quite funny though ;) |
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05 Nov 07 - 02:46 PM (#2186972) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Jim Lad 4077 "You touched your nose." |
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05 Nov 07 - 03:06 PM (#2186984) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: GUEST,Tunesmith Actually, I'm in pretty good physical shape (for 60 something), and I'm planning a big artistic comeback( not that I was ever really anywhere to begin with) when I'm 66! |
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05 Nov 07 - 03:07 PM (#2186985) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: John MacKenzie I'm waiting for 69 to make a comeback. G |
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05 Nov 07 - 03:17 PM (#2186992) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: pdq Burl Ives was once told by a booking agent that his club wanted a folksinger who was "well rounded". Burl replied "If 'well rounded' is what you want, then I'm your boy!". |
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05 Nov 07 - 03:17 PM (#2186993) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: skarpi Jim , dont do it , do NOT but it under the bed , think wat will happen ? when you and ,..... goes up and down ? ♫♪♫ and ♪♪♫ and ♫♪♫, " grin " Jim you will not but it under the bed , you cant why , becouse its coming from you r heart keep it up my friend you are doing bloody fine :>) I trust you will keep on playing ............ All the best the Fairy |
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05 Nov 07 - 03:21 PM (#2186995) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: skipy 213! Skipy |
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05 Nov 07 - 03:24 PM (#2187000) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Jim Lad My favourite performer passed away recently. I bought one of his more recent albums and regretted it. However, his concerts were outstanding, by all accounts, until he stopped. I didn't begrudge him at all. On the other side of the coin, A performer, the same age as myself and whom I knew in my younger days, made his way to the top of the Canadian scene. I went to see his concert, having not seen him for about 15 years and was saddened by his uninspired, lacklustre performance. I bought his album, listened to it once then put it in an envelope and mailed it back to him. It's the only time in my life that I've done such a thing but to see so much talent just disintegrate maddened as much as it saddened me. It was wrong of me, I know and it's what I think of each time I hear myself say "I get really upset when someone doesn't live up to my expectations". Different rules for different circumstances, I suppose. |
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05 Nov 07 - 03:29 PM (#2187005) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Ron Davies The point is not that it's time to put the guitar under the bed--why would anybody want to do that? It's that there are an awful lot of really talented people whose BMI--that artificial straitjacket devised by the medical profession--- doesn't qualify as "healthy". And there might be something to that. What we need is those people to do something about the situation if at all possible. And we need it for the most selfish of reasons--we want all those talented people to be with us and share their talents with us as long as possible. And I'm afraid we're in danger of losing some--way before their time. |
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05 Nov 07 - 03:35 PM (#2187009) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: GUEST,SINS at work That was harsh, Jim Lad. When YOU stop enjoying what you are performing, it is time to quit. You are not being fair to your audience or yourself. |
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05 Nov 07 - 03:58 PM (#2187019) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Peace "213! Skipy" LOLOL. That's a hoot, Skipy. Good one. |
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05 Nov 07 - 04:05 PM (#2187027) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Fidjit Jim You're as old as you feel. Sometimes I feel like a 17 year old, but they are getting difficult to get hold of.(#302) My hard case is alredy under the bed. Too heavy to drag about. The soft case hangs easy over the shoulder. Buggered if I'm giving up yet. Enjoy it too much. Now if you don't enjoy it . . . . Find something else. Pete Seeger wrote his, "Get Up And Go" when he was 39. Thought he was getting old. Look at him now. Chas I'll get my zimmer frame. (#303) |
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05 Nov 07 - 04:20 PM (#2187038) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Waddon Pete Jim Lad, I think joke #17 sums it all up nicely! Best wishes, Peter |
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05 Nov 07 - 04:30 PM (#2187046) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Declan Peace, Didn't like #43 much. It wasn't the joke - it was the way you told it ;~) |
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05 Nov 07 - 04:36 PM (#2187052) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Emma B well I laughed! |
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05 Nov 07 - 04:43 PM (#2187059) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Ron Davies Oh yeah, one more thing. #779. |
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05 Nov 07 - 05:31 PM (#2187084) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Wesley S I've always found # 779 to be highly offensive. I'm appalled that we allow such things on the web. Shocking!! |
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05 Nov 07 - 05:32 PM (#2187085) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Peace It's all in the timing, Wesley, as Ron pointed out. |
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05 Nov 07 - 05:33 PM (#2187086) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Jim Lad Low blow! |
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05 Nov 07 - 05:39 PM (#2187093) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: John MacKenzie No that's #69 Jim. G |
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05 Nov 07 - 05:45 PM (#2187095) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Jim Lad I get that! |
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05 Nov 07 - 06:10 PM (#2187105) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: John MacKenzie Often? |
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05 Nov 07 - 06:12 PM (#2187108) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Jim Lad Hope you enjoyed the Dalmore |
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05 Nov 07 - 06:27 PM (#2187117) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: John MacKenzie Jim I had a wee dram tonight, and it's lovely, I toast you every time I have a dram of it G |
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05 Nov 07 - 06:53 PM (#2187130) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Jim Lad None of the above. It's just a lure to get some folks out of an unhealthy thread. |
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05 Nov 07 - 07:18 PM (#2187152) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Bert Size doesn't matter Jim Lad!!! |
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06 Nov 07 - 02:17 AM (#2187297) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Ernest Investing in a good waist is never a waste. # (or was it kg?) 98 |
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06 Nov 07 - 06:36 AM (#2187385) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: gnu #1 (I know, it's an old one, but still a good one.) |
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06 Nov 07 - 06:44 AM (#2187387) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: John MacKenzie I always thought #2 stank. G |
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06 Nov 07 - 06:47 AM (#2187390) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: fat B****rd It's the way I spell 'em !! |
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06 Nov 07 - 12:08 PM (#2187588) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: An Buachaill Caol Dubh Hey, skarpi: how did you manage to type the little notes? |
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06 Nov 07 - 12:09 PM (#2187589) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: John MacKenzie Alt 13 and Alt 14 G |
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06 Nov 07 - 12:41 PM (#2187625) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Richard Bridge Surely a folk singer ought not to have a waist. |
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06 Nov 07 - 12:55 PM (#2187638) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Jim Lad ♪ ♫ ♀~ ⌂ Ç ü é â |
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06 Nov 07 - 12:57 PM (#2187641) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Jim Lad Well what was an attempt to shut down a venomous thread, hasn't worked. I see it's still going. Thanks for your efforts. Jim |
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06 Nov 07 - 01:09 PM (#2187648) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: GUEST,The Ballad of the Bold Researcher It was a total waist was it? *LOL* |
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06 Nov 07 - 02:00 PM (#2187688) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: gnu 쳌ô♫쳌ô쳌Š?? |
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06 Nov 07 - 02:05 PM (#2187690) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Ernest Is that country and waistern? |
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06 Nov 07 - 02:20 PM (#2187698) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Megan L Dammit Jim Lad I have a bone tae pick wie you. That flamin tune wilny leave ma hied but there are two pronlems. Maist o the words have faded and now only the punchline and the lurid images of LtS and Lady P swinging both ways haunts my poor fragile imagination. |
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06 Nov 07 - 05:37 PM (#2187882) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Jim Lad I posted it a while ago. "The Lingerie Song" |
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06 Nov 07 - 05:42 PM (#2187886) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: lady penelope *!~@"!&%£("!!! Megan!!!! We do so don't swing both ways!!!! I can't speak for LtS but I swing ALL ways... it's hard not to when you're this size..... *G* |
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06 Nov 07 - 05:53 PM (#2187900) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Jim Lad Here you go detail.cfm?messages__Message_ID=1985542 |
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06 Nov 07 - 06:30 PM (#2187944) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Jim Lad The Lingerie Song Each Wednesday night while the kids are asleep And me wife's at the bingo it's upstairs I creep I throw me old coveralls down on the floor And go rummaging into the top dresser drawer (Chorus) Then I swing to the left, I swing to the right Just prancing and dancing well into the night Oh there's nothing on earth as pleasing to me As dancing around in me wife's lingerie Well that's been my hobby for six years or so And I feel that it's time for to let yous all know I suppose it might come as a terrible shock Ah can you just imagine me wearing a smock (Chorus) As I swing to the left and I swing to the right Just prancing and dancing well into the night Oh there's nothing on earth as pleasing to me As dancing around in me wife's lingerie Last Saturday night on me way to the bar I went to confessions to see Father Maher Says he "Now my son, won't you tell me what's wrong?" Ah says I "Hold on Father, I'll sing you my song." (Chorus) I swing to the left, I swing to the right Just prancing and dancing well into the night For there's nothing on earth that'll give your heart cheer Like dancing around in your wife's ould brazier Well ould Father Maher gave a terrible shout Then he reached through the curtain and gave me a clout For penance he gave me the whole rosary Saying 'Try not to wrinkle your wife's hosiery" (Chorus) As I swing to the left and I swing to the right Just prancing and dancing well into the night Oh there's nothing on earth as pleasing to me As dancing around in me wife's lingerie Well that's been my story I know it's absurd But I've told you the truth to the very last word I'm a little uncomfortable singing this song But I think it's because I am wearing a thong (Chorus) As I swing to the left and I swing to the right Just prancing and dancing well into the night Oh there's nothing on earth as pleasing to me As dancing around in me wife's lingerie (Chorus) Oh I swing to the left, I swing to the right Just prancing and dancing well into the night For there's nothing on earth that'll give your heart cheer Like dancing around in your wife's UN DER WEAR! |
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07 Nov 07 - 04:11 AM (#2188164) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Megan L Aw thanks lad now all i have to do isremember that Liz Lady P and myself must all try to swing in different directions next time or they might begin conducting sizemological research. Weel ye ken whit happens when an army marches ower a bridge in step ;) |
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07 Nov 07 - 11:05 AM (#2188363) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Jim Lad Never occurred to me that a lady would want to sing this one. Adds a whole new dimension to the subject. Cheers! Jim |
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07 Nov 07 - 12:44 PM (#2188438) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Bert That's only over a "SUSPENSION" bridge Megan! |
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07 Nov 07 - 01:08 PM (#2188462) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Richard Bridge I know someone who could sing that. Not me. You'll never get me into a bunny girl outfit. {There he was, with a white fluffy tail, pissing in the urinals, saying to the locals "What's the matter, never sen a boke in a bunny girl outfit before...") What's teh tune...? |
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07 Nov 07 - 01:13 PM (#2188464) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: John MacKenzie I seem to remember it being a version of the Daring Young Man on the Flying Trapeze, Richard. G |
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07 Nov 07 - 02:42 PM (#2188504) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: Jim Lad "Beautiful Dreamer" or "A Public House whose landlord has failed to anticipate the level of demand for a popular brew due to exceptionally hot weather and has run out of stock" From one of the colonies, I think. |
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07 Nov 07 - 02:45 PM (#2188509) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: John MacKenzie Yup sorry Jim, Slim Dusty's biggest hit it is. G |
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08 Nov 07 - 11:59 AM (#2189055) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: GUEST,Neil D "A waist is a terrible thing to mind." Can I get a number please. A nice round number. |
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09 Nov 07 - 11:29 AM (#2189865) Subject: RE: Jim Lad, What a waist! From: GUEST,Jim John 'Giok' MacKenzie said,"I always thought #2 stank." It's a good joke, you just don't tell it very well. |