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22 Jan 04 - 01:54 PM (#1098885) Subject: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: harlowpoet Though I'd start a fun thread, on the worlds shortest books. Here's some suggestions. How to Succeed in Show Business by Pete Best Cooking With Salt by Lot A Guide To Your First Holy Communion by the Rev Ian Paisley Anyone else got some? |
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22 Jan 04 - 02:36 PM (#1098911) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Gern I've heard many of these that poke fun at various countries. Although this could easily turn offensive, which is not what I would want, some seem harmless to me. These would include: American Rules of Etiquette, French Military Strategies, Great Moments in British Cuisine, [Fill in the Blank] Table Manners, etc. And how about Banjo Players Who Belong to Mensa? The Wit and Wisdom of Dick Cheney? |
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22 Jan 04 - 02:45 PM (#1098916) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Ebbie I used to have one that measured 1 1/2 x 1 1/2 inches... |
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22 Jan 04 - 03:12 PM (#1098940) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST How to Start a Fun Mudcat Thread by harlowpoet |
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22 Jan 04 - 03:13 PM (#1098941) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Rustic Rebel There's a book called "What men know about woman" You open it up and it's all blank pages! |
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22 Jan 04 - 04:11 PM (#1098986) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: alanabit The Wit and Wisdom of George Bush A Slimmer's Diary by Luciano Pavarotti My Life in Politics by Screaming Lord Sutch What I Know About Music by Britney Spears The Good Parenting Guide by Michael Jackson |
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22 Jan 04 - 04:24 PM (#1098996) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST Yiddish for beginners By Osama Bin Laden Getting The Best From Your Stereo By Vincent Van Gogh |
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22 Jan 04 - 04:29 PM (#1099001) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,Dave Spit or Swallow? By Mary Whitehouse |
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22 Jan 04 - 06:16 PM (#1099130) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: The Fooles Troupe My latest publication - available from my website - "All I learned about Women" 5 pages 50 cents + postage. Robin |
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22 Jan 04 - 08:41 PM (#1099228) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Walking Eagle This is a true one 'Katz on Dogs' written by a dog trainer, Katz, here in the states. |
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22 Jan 04 - 09:50 PM (#1099263) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: khandu George Foreman's "Names for Babies" "How To Sing Well " by Bob Dylan |
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22 Jan 04 - 11:52 PM (#1099328) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Padre "The PETA Guide to Great Burger Restaurants" |
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23 Jan 04 - 02:36 AM (#1099390) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,MD How to speed past light with a warp drive accelerator By Albert Einstein |
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23 Jan 04 - 04:59 AM (#1099453) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: John MacKenzie The Miami Airport Police book of jokes. John |
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23 Jan 04 - 05:12 AM (#1099462) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Dave Hanson How about one of the worlds shortest songs,'The Ballad of Spiro Agnew ' by Tom Paxton. eric |
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23 Jan 04 - 09:43 PM (#1100091) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: khandu "Interesting Things To Do in Alabama" by Anyone |
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24 Jan 04 - 03:14 AM (#1100215) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Hrothgar "Ear Surgery for Beginners" by Mike Tyson |
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24 Jan 04 - 04:25 AM (#1100229) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: John MacKenzie The Gargoyle book of one liners. John |
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24 Jan 04 - 05:36 AM (#1100239) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: harlowpoet Opening a McDonalds Franchise - Fidel Castro |
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24 Jan 04 - 05:46 AM (#1100241) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: John MacKenzie Tony Blair's little book of Socialism. How to be Self Effacing by Anthony Wedgewood Benn Towards Eloquent Speech by G W Bush Dog Training by Princess Anne Welsh for Beginners by Anne Robinson & John Redwood John |
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24 Jan 04 - 06:24 AM (#1100258) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,MD The Road To Mecca by Ariel Sharon |
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24 Jan 04 - 09:15 AM (#1100322) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Willie-O How I Plan To Make Everything Better In Canada After I Become the New Conservative PM by Belinda Stronach see www.belinda.ca |
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24 Jan 04 - 12:32 PM (#1100409) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST We don't need no meditation - The Buddha |
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24 Jan 04 - 02:24 PM (#1100477) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Dita Where the WoMD are located - George & Tony |
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24 Jan 04 - 04:56 PM (#1100568) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Amos Advanced Applications of Humanism in Commercial Societies, by GW Bush |
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24 Jan 04 - 08:36 PM (#1100709) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Gareth Oi - Giok ( Sorry I havnt the lexicon to type yer new handle ) The case for Scots Independance, and even shorter, The Case for an Independant Wales. And all blank pages - " Good Government" by Michael Howard (Ghosted by M Thatcher) Gareth |
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24 Jan 04 - 09:05 PM (#1100722) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,c.sparra Reasons for me to be King: by Prince Charles. My greatest achievements: by David Blaine. Meals on a Shoestring: by the Queen. |
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24 Jan 04 - 09:30 PM (#1100731) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: freightdawg "The Value of Being Honest"-- Pete Rose with a forward by Bill Clinton. "Making it on your Own" -- George W. Bush "Stock Deals For the Common Man" -- Martha Stewart "Dating Made Simple" -- Kobe Bryant "Mars on a Shoestring Budget" -- NASA "Say What You Mean, and Mean What You Say" -- Saddam Hussein |
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25 Jan 04 - 04:51 AM (#1100825) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,harlowpoet Broadcasting. Ethics and Integrity By Comical Ali |
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25 Jan 04 - 05:59 AM (#1100838) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,MD The Great Moon Landing Hoax - Buzz Aldrin Our Father, Who Art In Heaven - Richard Dawkins |
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25 Jan 04 - 06:38 AM (#1100854) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,guest robbie Caring for the Elderly - Dr Harold Shipma Decorating That Guest Room -Howard Hughes What I Learnt from The Mahatma - George Rumsfield Grace and Modesty :Towards a New Decorum - Paris Hilton Sexy Dressing to Keep Your Man- Andrea Dworkin |
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25 Jan 04 - 07:58 AM (#1100887) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST Recipes For Game By St Francis |
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25 Jan 04 - 09:49 AM (#1100921) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: The O'Meara The Book of Irish Sexuality. O'Meara |
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26 Jan 04 - 04:49 AM (#1101514) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: s6k Standard Journalists Notepad How to make a cup of tea Gareth Gates autobiography (this will help on the "Counting Sheep" thread here on Mudcat) |
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26 Jan 04 - 05:21 AM (#1101538) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Dave Bryant The Italian book of WW2 heroes. The Japanese book of great cricketers. The book of sober Harlow poets :-) |
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26 Jan 04 - 06:56 AM (#1101581) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: JohnInKansas There were several of these that made the rounds of the office periodically, whenever another crop of "new puppies" who hadn't seen them all became comfortable with the office humor. On appearing regularly was The < you favorite nationality, ethnic group, or social class > Sex Manual Page 1. IN Page 2. OUT Page 3. REPEAT AS NEEDED I haven't seen it since it appeared as The .*.*.*. SEX MANUAL, in which someone edited Page 3 to "REPEAT IF NEEDED." (We were pretty sure she had a particular .*.*.*. in mind, and she was never seen again after her boss saw it . . . .) John |
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26 Jan 04 - 08:53 AM (#1101653) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,harlowpoet Busking In Tehran by Salman Rushdie The Joy Of Sex by Pope John Paul ii Women's Soccer, The Need For Longjohns by Sepp Blatter |
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26 Jan 04 - 07:48 PM (#1102100) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,Jim Dixon Care of the Voice, by Howard Dean. It Pays to Increase Your Vocabulary, by G. W. Bush. The Anthology of Conservative Humor, edited by Al Franken. Handbook of Motorcycle Safety, by James Dean, with an introduction by T. E. Lawrence. Guitar Repair for Beginners, by Willie Nelson. Winning the Respect You Deserve, by Dan Quayle. Standing Out in the Crowd, by Dennis Kucinich Memoirs, by Ronald Reagan. |
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27 Jan 04 - 01:03 AM (#1102270) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,Dewey She's Coming Back.... Author Unknown... |
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27 Jan 04 - 09:11 AM (#1102478) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,UK The Golden Age Of Steam by Dr Beeching |
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27 Jan 04 - 09:42 AM (#1102500) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Bobjack The Harri Watts band songbook. |
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27 Jan 04 - 03:27 PM (#1102771) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,harlowpoet Researching Your Family Tree By Adam and Eve |
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27 Jan 04 - 09:39 PM (#1103064) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,Johnny in OKC "Viet Nam -- the Lesson We Learned There" |
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27 Jan 04 - 10:59 PM (#1103111) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull how to putting shelfs up, by jOhn from Ull. |
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28 Jan 04 - 08:33 AM (#1103369) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,Ozzy jOhn's boook of hamster recippes |
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28 Jan 04 - 08:36 AM (#1103372) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST 12 steps to sobriety-john from hull |
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28 Jan 04 - 09:04 AM (#1103391) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Dead Horse "tYpeing_for_bEgginers" buy jOhn from Hull9 |
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25 Jun 04 - 03:50 AM (#1213989) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: harlowpoet My Reflections by Count Dracula |
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25 Jun 04 - 04:07 AM (#1214007) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST A History of Ethics in The Australian Liberal Party. |
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25 Jun 04 - 05:27 AM (#1214044) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Ellenpoly And the book that got lost... How To Use The Brain I Gave You: The Complete Instruction Manual By God ..xx..e |
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25 Jun 04 - 11:52 AM (#1214257) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Padre The Humour of Michael Moore The Charisma of Al Gore Camouflage Secrets of Sadaam Hussein |
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25 Jun 04 - 04:45 PM (#1214395) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST, TheBigPinkLad Saville Row Patrick Moore Etiquette Chubby Brown How to say no Keith Richards Cattle Auctioneering Patrick Campbell Downhill skiing Sonny Bono How to Marry a Winner Nicole Simpson Household Safety Tips Richard Prior How to score from the spot David Beckham |
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25 Jun 04 - 05:08 PM (#1214409) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Amergin Great Leaders of The Republican Party |
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25 Jun 04 - 05:19 PM (#1214413) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST GUEST, Pink Lad Cattle Auctioneering Patrick Campbell ... LOL! |
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26 Jun 04 - 03:19 AM (#1214587) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: darkriver The Big Book of Swiss Jokes doug |
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26 Jun 04 - 06:31 PM (#1214784) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,guest "Irish Erotic Art" |
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26 Jun 04 - 11:40 PM (#1214865) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Don Firth Don Firth |
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27 Jun 04 - 03:03 AM (#1214896) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Sam L i DON'T GET SOME OF THESE. The book of Irish sexuality, or Ulysses, by James Joyce. In fact, in the famous obscenity trial, the question of whether the book was unusually concerned with sex was dismissed by the judge because, well, they're celtic, and it's spring. And a book by Dylan about how he gets so much musicality out of his voice would be pretty interesting. But who am I to criticise. I don't have a short book. But since I've been facing going back to work full-time for health insurance, and there's a 90 day wait for benefits to start, I did think of checking out a copy of Around The World In 80 Days, and on the last page writing-- ...And then in ten more days the health insurance benefits kicked in. |
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27 Jun 04 - 11:42 AM (#1215000) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: khandu The following were written by Mudcat Members: Why I Love Birthday Threads by Joe Offer Tips on Enunciation by Tweed Controlling Flatulence by Spaw Bush: The Mighty Man of God!! by Bobert Brilliant Accordionists by Carol the Sailor Belly Dancing with Wolves by Kim C Stop Flooding Dick! by Amos |
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28 Jun 04 - 05:38 AM (#1215380) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Dave Bryant "Folk Clubs who have booked me" & "Men I have turned down" both by Avril Betts. |
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28 Jun 04 - 07:27 AM (#1215424) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: greg stephens "Hull:the Official Tourist Guide" "Ben Gurion, Meir and Sharon: the Glory Years" by CarolC "WMD Sites in Iraq"(UN Inspectorate Official List) "Things that aren't Rubish" by Sir JOhn from Hull MBE "Chords Used in Bluegrass Music" "The Art of Bodhran Playing" "Classic Mudcat Threads" "Songs I've never heard of" by Masato Sakurai "Benefits of the Atkins Diet" "Relaxing at Home: the guide to success" by David Beckham |
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28 Jun 04 - 07:47 AM (#1215434) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST Do It Yourself health Care for Canadians..by Stephen Harper |
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28 Jun 04 - 08:05 AM (#1215443) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Mr Red Brevity for Beginners |
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28 Jun 04 - 09:52 AM (#1215498) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Billy Weeks 'My Gift to Society: Nurturing the Caring Community' by Margaret Thatcher 'How to Retreat Gracefully into Old Age and Become a Really Lovable Old Thing' by Margaret Thatcher 'Joyful Memories of the Poll Tax' by Margaret Thatcher 'My Love and Admiration for Margaret Thatcher' by Ted Heath |
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28 Jun 04 - 02:14 PM (#1215674) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST "Messiahs who have delivered" "Useful bible tracts" "Evidence of life after death" "The book of good UFO pictures" "The ACME book of successful roadrunner traps" "French soaps" "Kosher charcuterie" |
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28 Jun 04 - 08:17 PM (#1215884) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Willie-O "Day by day: My accomplishments as Prime Minister of Canada" by Joe Clark, John Turner, Kim What's-Her-Name, Paul Martin Jr and possibly Stephen Harper. |
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29 Jun 04 - 05:45 AM (#1216062) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: ced2 A number of recent titles:- 1. The Encylopeadia of Rectitude and Honest Behaviour in Government; editors:- Aitkin J, Archer J & Hamilton N; publisher Major Morals in Office, c/o Smith Square, London. 2. No Bonking, A Practical Guide for M.Ps. by Major J, & Parkinson C; pub Major Morals. 3. Imaginative Uses for Football Shirts by D Mellor; pub. Major Morals 4. Compassion and Sensativity in Governmant by Thatcher, Joseph & Tebbett, Pub Grabda Cashanrun, Smith Sq. London. |
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29 Jun 04 - 06:53 AM (#1216091) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Dave Bryant From a previous posting:- I used to have one that measured 1 1/2 x 1 1/2 inches... Sequel: Then I discovered VIAGRA ! |
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30 Jun 04 - 06:12 PM (#1217336) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Mr Red societies and clubs in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch |
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30 Jun 04 - 09:32 PM (#1217399) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,Larry K The Michael Moore Diet Book Saying No by Bill Clinton Natural Charm by John Kerry Motivaltional speaking by Al Gore Keeping control of your temper by Howard Dean Negotiating with terrorists by Jimmy Carter Everything I know by Kato Kailin, Paris Hilton, and Britany Spears Great sex with your husband by Hillary Clinton Swim with confidence by Ted Kennedy Rational Democrats by Joe Liebeman Great vaction spots in Europe by Ossama Bin Laden and finally Numbers after 10 by David Letterman |
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01 Jul 04 - 04:29 PM (#1217875) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Mr Red Oh be fair - with a name like David Letterman he is never going to be number one Numbersman - now is he? Though what I have seen of him leaves me numb. |
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01 Jul 04 - 06:30 PM (#1217927) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Little Hawk "The Many Good Reasons Why William Shatner Is Not Vitally Important To Human Civilization" by Amos "J". "All The Things I Love About Cats" by Corridus the Hamster. "Orangutans I Have Loved" by Chongo Chimp. "A Return To Love: Part II" by Martin Gibson. |
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02 Jul 04 - 05:55 PM (#1218630) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Big Al Whittle Simple guitar accompaniments by Martin Simpson |
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03 Jul 04 - 07:47 AM (#1218856) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Gurney How not to keep house........ Za Za Gabor. |
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03 Jul 04 - 11:31 AM (#1218907) Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Big Al Whittle simple guitar accompaniments by Martin Simpson |