Subject: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: harlowpoet Date: 22 Jan 04 - 01:54 PM Though I'd start a fun thread, on the worlds shortest books. Here's some suggestions. How to Succeed in Show Business by Pete Best Cooking With Salt by Lot A Guide To Your First Holy Communion by the Rev Ian Paisley Anyone else got some? |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Gern Date: 22 Jan 04 - 02:36 PM I've heard many of these that poke fun at various countries. Although this could easily turn offensive, which is not what I would want, some seem harmless to me. These would include: American Rules of Etiquette, French Military Strategies, Great Moments in British Cuisine, [Fill in the Blank] Table Manners, etc. And how about Banjo Players Who Belong to Mensa? The Wit and Wisdom of Dick Cheney? |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Ebbie Date: 22 Jan 04 - 02:45 PM I used to have one that measured 1 1/2 x 1 1/2 inches... |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST Date: 22 Jan 04 - 03:12 PM How to Start a Fun Mudcat Thread by harlowpoet |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Rustic Rebel Date: 22 Jan 04 - 03:13 PM There's a book called "What men know about woman" You open it up and it's all blank pages! |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: alanabit Date: 22 Jan 04 - 04:11 PM The Wit and Wisdom of George Bush A Slimmer's Diary by Luciano Pavarotti My Life in Politics by Screaming Lord Sutch What I Know About Music by Britney Spears The Good Parenting Guide by Michael Jackson |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST Date: 22 Jan 04 - 04:24 PM Yiddish for beginners By Osama Bin Laden Getting The Best From Your Stereo By Vincent Van Gogh |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,Dave Date: 22 Jan 04 - 04:29 PM Spit or Swallow? By Mary Whitehouse |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:16 PM My latest publication - available from my website - "All I learned about Women" 5 pages 50 cents + postage. Robin |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Walking Eagle Date: 22 Jan 04 - 08:41 PM This is a true one 'Katz on Dogs' written by a dog trainer, Katz, here in the states. |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: khandu Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:50 PM George Foreman's "Names for Babies" "How To Sing Well " by Bob Dylan |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Padre Date: 22 Jan 04 - 11:52 PM "The PETA Guide to Great Burger Restaurants" |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,MD Date: 23 Jan 04 - 02:36 AM How to speed past light with a warp drive accelerator By Albert Einstein |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: John MacKenzie Date: 23 Jan 04 - 04:59 AM The Miami Airport Police book of jokes. John |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Dave Hanson Date: 23 Jan 04 - 05:12 AM How about one of the worlds shortest songs,'The Ballad of Spiro Agnew ' by Tom Paxton. eric |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: khandu Date: 23 Jan 04 - 09:43 PM "Interesting Things To Do in Alabama" by Anyone |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Hrothgar Date: 24 Jan 04 - 03:14 AM "Ear Surgery for Beginners" by Mike Tyson |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: John MacKenzie Date: 24 Jan 04 - 04:25 AM The Gargoyle book of one liners. John |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: harlowpoet Date: 24 Jan 04 - 05:36 AM Opening a McDonalds Franchise - Fidel Castro |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: John MacKenzie Date: 24 Jan 04 - 05:46 AM Tony Blair's little book of Socialism. How to be Self Effacing by Anthony Wedgewood Benn Towards Eloquent Speech by G W Bush Dog Training by Princess Anne Welsh for Beginners by Anne Robinson & John Redwood John |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,MD Date: 24 Jan 04 - 06:24 AM The Road To Mecca by Ariel Sharon |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Willie-O Date: 24 Jan 04 - 09:15 AM How I Plan To Make Everything Better In Canada After I Become the New Conservative PM by Belinda Stronach see www.belinda.ca |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST Date: 24 Jan 04 - 12:32 PM We don't need no meditation - The Buddha |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Dita Date: 24 Jan 04 - 02:24 PM Where the WoMD are located - George & Tony |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Amos Date: 24 Jan 04 - 04:56 PM Advanced Applications of Humanism in Commercial Societies, by GW Bush |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Gareth Date: 24 Jan 04 - 08:36 PM Oi - Giok ( Sorry I havnt the lexicon to type yer new handle ) The case for Scots Independance, and even shorter, The Case for an Independant Wales. And all blank pages - " Good Government" by Michael Howard (Ghosted by M Thatcher) Gareth |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,c.sparra Date: 24 Jan 04 - 09:05 PM Reasons for me to be King: by Prince Charles. My greatest achievements: by David Blaine. Meals on a Shoestring: by the Queen. |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: freightdawg Date: 24 Jan 04 - 09:30 PM "The Value of Being Honest"-- Pete Rose with a forward by Bill Clinton. "Making it on your Own" -- George W. Bush "Stock Deals For the Common Man" -- Martha Stewart "Dating Made Simple" -- Kobe Bryant "Mars on a Shoestring Budget" -- NASA "Say What You Mean, and Mean What You Say" -- Saddam Hussein |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,harlowpoet Date: 25 Jan 04 - 04:51 AM Broadcasting. Ethics and Integrity By Comical Ali |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,MD Date: 25 Jan 04 - 05:59 AM The Great Moon Landing Hoax - Buzz Aldrin Our Father, Who Art In Heaven - Richard Dawkins |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,guest robbie Date: 25 Jan 04 - 06:38 AM Caring for the Elderly - Dr Harold Shipma Decorating That Guest Room -Howard Hughes What I Learnt from The Mahatma - George Rumsfield Grace and Modesty :Towards a New Decorum - Paris Hilton Sexy Dressing to Keep Your Man- Andrea Dworkin |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST Date: 25 Jan 04 - 07:58 AM Recipes For Game By St Francis |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: The O'Meara Date: 25 Jan 04 - 09:49 AM The Book of Irish Sexuality. O'Meara |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: s6k Date: 26 Jan 04 - 04:49 AM Standard Journalists Notepad How to make a cup of tea Gareth Gates autobiography (this will help on the "Counting Sheep" thread here on Mudcat) |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Dave Bryant Date: 26 Jan 04 - 05:21 AM The Italian book of WW2 heroes. The Japanese book of great cricketers. The book of sober Harlow poets :-) |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: JohnInKansas Date: 26 Jan 04 - 06:56 AM There were several of these that made the rounds of the office periodically, whenever another crop of "new puppies" who hadn't seen them all became comfortable with the office humor. On appearing regularly was The < you favorite nationality, ethnic group, or social class > Sex Manual Page 1. IN Page 2. OUT Page 3. REPEAT AS NEEDED I haven't seen it since it appeared as The .*.*.*. SEX MANUAL, in which someone edited Page 3 to "REPEAT IF NEEDED." (We were pretty sure she had a particular .*.*.*. in mind, and she was never seen again after her boss saw it . . . .) John |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,harlowpoet Date: 26 Jan 04 - 08:53 AM Busking In Tehran by Salman Rushdie The Joy Of Sex by Pope John Paul ii Women's Soccer, The Need For Longjohns by Sepp Blatter |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,Jim Dixon Date: 26 Jan 04 - 07:48 PM Care of the Voice, by Howard Dean. It Pays to Increase Your Vocabulary, by G. W. Bush. The Anthology of Conservative Humor, edited by Al Franken. Handbook of Motorcycle Safety, by James Dean, with an introduction by T. E. Lawrence. Guitar Repair for Beginners, by Willie Nelson. Winning the Respect You Deserve, by Dan Quayle. Standing Out in the Crowd, by Dennis Kucinich Memoirs, by Ronald Reagan. |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,Dewey Date: 27 Jan 04 - 01:03 AM She's Coming Back.... Author Unknown... |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,UK Date: 27 Jan 04 - 09:11 AM The Golden Age Of Steam by Dr Beeching |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Bobjack Date: 27 Jan 04 - 09:42 AM The Harri Watts band songbook. |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,harlowpoet Date: 27 Jan 04 - 03:27 PM Researching Your Family Tree By Adam and Eve |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,Johnny in OKC Date: 27 Jan 04 - 09:39 PM "Viet Nam -- the Lesson We Learned There" |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 27 Jan 04 - 10:59 PM how to putting shelfs up, by jOhn from Ull. |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,Ozzy Date: 28 Jan 04 - 08:33 AM jOhn's boook of hamster recippes |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST Date: 28 Jan 04 - 08:36 AM 12 steps to sobriety-john from hull |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Dead Horse Date: 28 Jan 04 - 09:04 AM "tYpeing_for_bEgginers" buy jOhn from Hull9 |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: harlowpoet Date: 25 Jun 04 - 03:50 AM My Reflections by Count Dracula |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST Date: 25 Jun 04 - 04:07 AM A History of Ethics in The Australian Liberal Party. |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Ellenpoly Date: 25 Jun 04 - 05:27 AM And the book that got lost... How To Use The Brain I Gave You: The Complete Instruction Manual By God ..xx..e |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Padre Date: 25 Jun 04 - 11:52 AM The Humour of Michael Moore The Charisma of Al Gore Camouflage Secrets of Sadaam Hussein |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST, TheBigPinkLad Date: 25 Jun 04 - 04:45 PM Saville Row Patrick Moore Etiquette Chubby Brown How to say no Keith Richards Cattle Auctioneering Patrick Campbell Downhill skiing Sonny Bono How to Marry a Winner Nicole Simpson Household Safety Tips Richard Prior How to score from the spot David Beckham |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Amergin Date: 25 Jun 04 - 05:08 PM Great Leaders of The Republican Party |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST Date: 25 Jun 04 - 05:19 PM GUEST, Pink Lad Cattle Auctioneering Patrick Campbell ... LOL! |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: darkriver Date: 26 Jun 04 - 03:19 AM The Big Book of Swiss Jokes doug |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,guest Date: 26 Jun 04 - 06:31 PM "Irish Erotic Art" |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Don Firth Date: 26 Jun 04 - 11:40 PM Don Firth |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Sam L Date: 27 Jun 04 - 03:03 AM i DON'T GET SOME OF THESE. The book of Irish sexuality, or Ulysses, by James Joyce. In fact, in the famous obscenity trial, the question of whether the book was unusually concerned with sex was dismissed by the judge because, well, they're celtic, and it's spring. And a book by Dylan about how he gets so much musicality out of his voice would be pretty interesting. But who am I to criticise. I don't have a short book. But since I've been facing going back to work full-time for health insurance, and there's a 90 day wait for benefits to start, I did think of checking out a copy of Around The World In 80 Days, and on the last page writing-- ...And then in ten more days the health insurance benefits kicked in. |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: khandu Date: 27 Jun 04 - 11:42 AM The following were written by Mudcat Members: Why I Love Birthday Threads by Joe Offer Tips on Enunciation by Tweed Controlling Flatulence by Spaw Bush: The Mighty Man of God!! by Bobert Brilliant Accordionists by Carol the Sailor Belly Dancing with Wolves by Kim C Stop Flooding Dick! by Amos |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Dave Bryant Date: 28 Jun 04 - 05:38 AM "Folk Clubs who have booked me" & "Men I have turned down" both by Avril Betts. |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: greg stephens Date: 28 Jun 04 - 07:27 AM "Hull:the Official Tourist Guide" "Ben Gurion, Meir and Sharon: the Glory Years" by CarolC "WMD Sites in Iraq"(UN Inspectorate Official List) "Things that aren't Rubish" by Sir JOhn from Hull MBE "Chords Used in Bluegrass Music" "The Art of Bodhran Playing" "Classic Mudcat Threads" "Songs I've never heard of" by Masato Sakurai "Benefits of the Atkins Diet" "Relaxing at Home: the guide to success" by David Beckham |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST Date: 28 Jun 04 - 07:47 AM Do It Yourself health Care for Canadians..by Stephen Harper |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Mr Red Date: 28 Jun 04 - 08:05 AM Brevity for Beginners |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Billy Weeks Date: 28 Jun 04 - 09:52 AM 'My Gift to Society: Nurturing the Caring Community' by Margaret Thatcher 'How to Retreat Gracefully into Old Age and Become a Really Lovable Old Thing' by Margaret Thatcher 'Joyful Memories of the Poll Tax' by Margaret Thatcher 'My Love and Admiration for Margaret Thatcher' by Ted Heath |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST Date: 28 Jun 04 - 02:14 PM "Messiahs who have delivered" "Useful bible tracts" "Evidence of life after death" "The book of good UFO pictures" "The ACME book of successful roadrunner traps" "French soaps" "Kosher charcuterie" |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Willie-O Date: 28 Jun 04 - 08:17 PM "Day by day: My accomplishments as Prime Minister of Canada" by Joe Clark, John Turner, Kim What's-Her-Name, Paul Martin Jr and possibly Stephen Harper. |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: ced2 Date: 29 Jun 04 - 05:45 AM A number of recent titles:- 1. The Encylopeadia of Rectitude and Honest Behaviour in Government; editors:- Aitkin J, Archer J & Hamilton N; publisher Major Morals in Office, c/o Smith Square, London. 2. No Bonking, A Practical Guide for M.Ps. by Major J, & Parkinson C; pub Major Morals. 3. Imaginative Uses for Football Shirts by D Mellor; pub. Major Morals 4. Compassion and Sensativity in Governmant by Thatcher, Joseph & Tebbett, Pub Grabda Cashanrun, Smith Sq. London. |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Dave Bryant Date: 29 Jun 04 - 06:53 AM From a previous posting:- I used to have one that measured 1 1/2 x 1 1/2 inches... Sequel: Then I discovered VIAGRA ! |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Mr Red Date: 30 Jun 04 - 06:12 PM societies and clubs in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: GUEST,Larry K Date: 30 Jun 04 - 09:32 PM The Michael Moore Diet Book Saying No by Bill Clinton Natural Charm by John Kerry Motivaltional speaking by Al Gore Keeping control of your temper by Howard Dean Negotiating with terrorists by Jimmy Carter Everything I know by Kato Kailin, Paris Hilton, and Britany Spears Great sex with your husband by Hillary Clinton Swim with confidence by Ted Kennedy Rational Democrats by Joe Liebeman Great vaction spots in Europe by Ossama Bin Laden and finally Numbers after 10 by David Letterman |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Mr Red Date: 01 Jul 04 - 04:29 PM Oh be fair - with a name like David Letterman he is never going to be number one Numbersman - now is he? Though what I have seen of him leaves me numb. |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Jul 04 - 06:30 PM "The Many Good Reasons Why William Shatner Is Not Vitally Important To Human Civilization" by Amos "J". "All The Things I Love About Cats" by Corridus the Hamster. "Orangutans I Have Loved" by Chongo Chimp. "A Return To Love: Part II" by Martin Gibson. |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Big Al Whittle Date: 02 Jul 04 - 05:55 PM Simple guitar accompaniments by Martin Simpson |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Gurney Date: 03 Jul 04 - 07:47 AM How not to keep house........ Za Za Gabor. |
Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books From: Big Al Whittle Date: 03 Jul 04 - 11:31 AM simple guitar accompaniments by Martin Simpson |