BS: the funny business of names

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 11:28 AM

i was at a friend's barbecue.

the other guests had their children with them.

playing with little chris, laura & matty, we happened to be talking about brothers & sisters. laura hadn't met the brothers before. she said 'i haven't got a brother'

chris replied 'i have'

she said 'whats his name?'

chris said 'matthew'

i couldn't resist it, i said to chris, 'has matthew got a brother?'

he thought for a moment, then said 'no!'

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: fat B****rd
Date: 23 Jun 02 - 05:21 AM

Many years ago I knew an Englishman named John Case. He married a Swedish lady and had hell of a job stopping her from naming their first child Knut.

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: DonD
Date: 22 Jun 02 - 10:06 PM

Either I'm losinh it or it was one of those times when I wrote a long post and then lost my connection and it never made it -- but I was sure I had posted this already and it's not there.

Fifty years ago at Harvard there was a professor named Hooton who lost the respect of many of his students when the word got out that he'd named his newborn son Newton. Where is he now? Probably calling himself N. Something Hooton.

A friend of mine did business with a guy whose name was Morrow Tamalo. He (my friend) would go out of his way to phone him when he knew he was out so he could ask the receptionist to speak 'to Morrow Tamalo' and when she exp;ained that he was gone for the day, he'd say, "Oh, I'll speak to Morrow Tamalo tommorow." He thought it was hysterical.

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: C-flat
Date: 22 Jun 02 - 03:10 PM

I have a fairly unusual first name (Merrick).
One day I was stood talking to a friend at the fruit and veg. stall he runs when another guy came over to say hello to him.
After a brief conversation the other chap left and I asked who he was, "Oh he's called Merrick" said my friend.
When I asked why he hadn't introduced us as we both shared this unusual name, he replied that he didn't think it WAS unusual.......well HE knew TWO of them.........

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Genie
Date: 22 Jun 02 - 02:49 AM

Mimsey, I've known several people with the last name "Casebeer."  But I think "Dart Fartworth" takes the case.  [I think I mentioned Linda Titsworth, above, didn't I?]

Re business names, there are a couple that I think are not so much funny as silly-sounding:  Wallpapers To Go and [one I heard tonight] Trophies To Go.  I guess in both cases they're trying to convey that you don't have to order [the wallpaper or trophy] and come back for it in 2 weeks.  But when I  hear those names, I want to ask, "Well, what other kind IS there?  Is there a store where I would buy wallpaper [or a trophy] and have to use it there in the store?!

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: AKS
Date: 13 Jun 02 - 06:52 AM

Are you mixing up schlachten 'to butcher' and schneiden 'to cut', Alex? As far as I know, Schneider literally does mean 'cutter' (primarily with scissors) but it translates into English as 'tailor' and has no connotation of cutting any meat - butcher- nor surgeonlike. That's why Dr. Schneider/Tailor sounds rather 'reconstructive' to me, doesn't it! (But again, that's how the surgeons are these days; aren't they even tailoring new john thomases and fanny hills ...?)

AKS

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Steve in Idaho
Date: 12 Jun 02 - 06:01 PM

John Thomas = penis in USA.

I did not know this either -

Steve

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Mr Red
Date: 12 Jun 02 - 02:26 PM

Mr Happy
wasn't precious McKenzie from the West Indies? Iknow here emigrated to NZ and I met him about a year after he had a bad smash on the Aukland Bridge. To say he was small but perfectly formed is an understatement. Even with a lijp or two he was smiling as if he had no cares in the world. Precious he was but not in his nature.

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: CheesyGareth
Date: 12 Jun 02 - 01:12 PM

More people know me as "cheesy" than any other name so when I go to something like this page thats my real name. In the old travelling tradition it was concidered wise to travel under a "nickname", you would not tell anybody except your closed circle of friends your own birth name, lest the devil might hear you and this although its not as paranoid of satanic forces as the long arm of the law (who keep a file of people with nicknames) that most people assume them today, many indigenous folk cultures and pagan beliefs have a naming ceremony, can someone let me know more about these, its ok, I dont need to know your name!

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: GUEST,Mimsey
Date: 11 Jun 02 - 06:08 PM

Allright, now you've got me going. I'm a librarian, and often come across odd names. Here's the list I've collected: Amacker Bullwinkle, Monty Livergood, Louis Lasagna, Fleur Sack (one of my favorites!), Nevora Nush, Penny Sermons (another!), Kristina Mollusk, Faith Popcorn, Brownie Plaster, Nan Staggers, James Careless, Lufemia Funktoop (!!!), Salady Potts, Nelsie Nagle, Harry Bump, Randy Rump, Dart Fartworth (!!!), Herman Hornschlager. Some interesting last names on my list: Clendenning, Engeldinger, Schmeckebier, Daubenspeck, Reiftsneider, Diefendurfer. :)

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: GUEST,Mimsey
Date: 07 Jun 02 - 07:29 PM

My mom's best friend when she was a little girl was named Ima June Bugg. Mom later worked with a man named Harry Legg.

Pretty weird parents, to do that to their kids!

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Genie
Date: 06 Jun 02 - 09:45 PM

I just remembered one of my favorite examples of an aptly named person:

the long distance swimmer Diana Nyad (sp?)

However she spells her name, it is a form of the word for the [Greek?] sea nymphs, the naiads. I'd guess that she either changed her name after taking up swimming or had an increased inclination toward water sports because of her name. I'd say the latter is more likely. If it's pure coincidence, it's a remarkable one!

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: mousethief
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 04:46 PM

A very ----um---- indelicate name for a surgeon, to be sure!

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Genie
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 04:43 PM

Thanks, Alex. I was just extrapolating from the verb form "to cut." Knowing it's specifically "butcher" just makes it 10 times funnier!

I, too, never knew, gnu,
That "John Thomas" had that meaning.

[Bob Dylan has a line in one of his songs--I'm blanking on the title, but it's the one about the Red Iron Ore--, where the song's narrator says she "...quit [work] in the spring to marry John Thomas, a miner."

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 04:29 PM

A generation ago, the Hogge family of Texas- one of those really rich dynasties- named their daughter 'Ima'. True story. (Although I think the family name is pronounced 'Hoag')

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: mousethief
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 02:01 PM

There was a girl in my first elementary school called Isa Flakes. Poor thing. And my wife had a coworker named Helen Jelen (she married into it--apparently her maiden name was some multisyllabic, unpronounceable German thing).

"Schneider" in German translates the English word "butcher."

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 12:55 PM

You've had a sheltered youth so far.

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 09:35 AM

I've lived 71 years in the USA and never heard that.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Snuffy
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 06:46 AM

John Thomas has the same meaning in England, too. See D H Lawrence's Lady Chatterley's Lover.

WassaiL! V

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 05:02 AM

Uncle DaveO.... John Thomas = penis in USA.

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Nancy King
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 06:42 PM

Some years ago my ex and I met a very nice and helpful young woman named Sheba Tartt. We snickered about her name and mentioned it to another friend, who said, "She sounds like just the gal for somebody I work with -- really nice guy named Flavius Lash..."

Then there was the woman my other ex used to know whose boyfriend broke up with her because he couldn't keep a straight face while introducing her: Ruby Dooby.

Cheers, Nancy

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Genie
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 05:20 PM

Then there was a woman I used to work with whose name was Wanda Trott. (Her married name, I think. She must've loved the guy.)

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Zhenya
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 05:09 PM

I used to work with a woman named Dorothy Toto. (yes, a real person and, as far as I know, not from Kansas.)

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: AliUK
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 02:23 PM


Mr Happy, I used to have a border terrier that, because of the way her front legs bowed out, we called Precious after Precious McKenzie (who I believe was actually a New Zealander).

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: ard mhacha
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 01:48 PM

Some more Soccer names, Windass [Middlesborough] Shirtliff[Sheffield Wedensday] and Ufarte old Spanish International. Ard Mhacha.

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Genie
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 12:39 PM

Ebbie, Kay Pasa inherited (or assimilated) her mother's wit and humor. She loves her name!

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 11:31 AM

First, a puzzlement. There have been two references above to John Thomas, seen as funny for some reason. I've tried making John Jack and Thomas Tom, but no light bulb has turned on. I don't get it.

Second, when I was in high school the first name of one of my classmates was Jack. HER name was Jack. When she registered, the authorities bounced her paperwork back, saying, "No nicknames, please. Is it Jacqueline?" Her answer: "No, not Jacqueline. Not Jacquette. Not Jackie. Jack, J-A-C-K, JACK!" They called the parent in to find out what her "real" name was, only to find that it was, indeed, "J-A-C-K, JACK!"

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: SharonA
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 11:22 AM

My gynecologist is Vietnamese; his name is Dr. Le (pronounced "Lay").

And I once knew a funeral-home director by the name of Tom Stone. Honest!

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Ebbie
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 10:49 AM

One has to assume these given name/chosen profession 'coincidences' are not coincidental at all. It must be that in some cases at least the name dictates the interest.

An Amish couple named their twins Adam and Eve. arrrrgggghhhhhh

And the mother who named her daughter Kay Pasa had better hope that her daughter too has a wonderful sense of humor!

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Genie
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 01:44 AM

Ebbie, let me add, for those who know no German, that "Schneider" means "cutter" auf Deutsch.

I forgot to mention another woman I know. Her last name is Pasa, and her mother (who has a wonderful sense of humor) named her Kay.

I mentioned in a related thread that I also knew a Dr. Chu (dentist)-- whose hygienist was named "Gumm."

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Ebbie
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 12:55 AM

My sister-in-law's surgeon is Dr. Schneider.

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: GUEST,Ophelia
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 12:05 AM

In Kiama, Australia, there is a real estate agent (with signs all over town) with the name Dick Payne.

Our Minister for Gaming... Richard Face

My Dentist... Dr Chew And a poor bloke from Wagga Wagga... Lionel Loveless (perfect name for a country singer)

My sister's boss...Mr Lifschitz. People have rung in wanting to speak to Lipshits, Shitlips, Lightswitch and Liftshaft (this is for real).

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Jun 02 - 11:56 PM

An Australian friend of mine named Tony was on a camping trip with a couple of friends. Sitting on logs around the campfire, chatting idly, one of them remarked that 'tony' is another word for being somewhat highbrow or even pretentious.

Tony was taken aback and thought about it for a minute then said, 'Well, I think I'd rather be tony than to be like you two: Rob and Sue.'

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Genie
Date: 02 Jun 02 - 11:24 PM

I went to college with Anita Bath and Dick Cox.

I recall one of my grad school professors telling me that he once was calling roll on the first day of a term when he saw the name "Doris Krapperschitz" on the roll. Not wanting to risk offending the student, he timidly asked if there was a "Ms. Cray-per-scheyts" in the room. The young woman piped up loudly, "No, it's 'crapper-shits!"

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: SharonA
Date: 29 May 02 - 08:59 AM

There was a gentleman in the town where I grew up, by the name of Jack R. Abbott.

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Mr Happy
Date: 28 May 02 - 08:54 PM

one i recall from an olympic games a long time ago was a weightlifter [british, i think], called Precious McKenzie.

what a smashing 1st name!

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: DD
Date: 28 May 02 - 08:44 PM

OOOOOOOPs and I forget...........someone I used to play guitar with..........RUSTY PICKER

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: DD
Date: 28 May 02 - 08:42 PM

My aunt's name was Ruby Pearl Campbell. It didnt really get bad until she got married to Mr. Diamond.

Back in college I worked as a file clerk in a hospital...I filed records for Greene Grass, Saftey Firste, Susan DeMonas (think SUE), but my ALL time favorite was lady named BEAUTY LOVIN ........uglist person I ever saw in my WHOLE life.

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Mudlark
Date: 28 May 02 - 07:05 PM

I've collected odd names for years....my favorite still is Helen Pancake.

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Mr Red
Date: 28 May 02 - 04:38 PM

Mr Happy
Had no choice there old pal.
Middle name was mothers maiden name - an old English custom apparently. Mutton Chops has the same middle name only it skipped a generation, from his grandma. We are "cousins once removed".

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: SharonA
Date: 28 May 02 - 10:59 AM

I know two married couples (neither of which knows the other couple) whose nicknames are Wink and Betsy. What are the chances of knowing two "Wink & Betsy"s?!?

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Wolfgang
Date: 28 May 02 - 08:18 AM

A small selection from "Put the blame on the name" (Psychological Reports, 1975, p. 467ff), a paper on the correlation between authors' names and their field of study:

Birchenough published on history of education
L. Bolton Bangs on Effects of coitus interruptus
Klix on cybernetics
Wallace H. Wallace on satiation effects
Hard on (verbatim) "Effects of mounts without intromission upon sexaul behaviour in male rats"
Jaime A. Zipper on (verbatim) "Clinical experience with the use of flexible nylon rings as a contraceptive technique"
Ogle on stereoscopic depth perception

And the most famous of all, one of the first Big Bang theories about the origin of the world:

Alpher, Bethe and Gamov, "The origin of elements", Physical Review 1948 (Bethe was a great scientist, but to this paper he had only contributed his name, invited to do so by the other two)

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 28 May 02 - 06:15 AM

Burl, let's hope that Isla never meets Brian Ferry...

Pete

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Mr Happy
Date: 27 May 02 - 07:50 PM

you didn't like being Mr Brown?

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Mr Red
Date: 27 May 02 - 06:59 PM

I too knew a Robin Banks, still have his business card. Also in the collection is a French one for Jacques Ardon (pronounced Jack) and one from New Zealand bearing the name Wayne K. King - how I kept the straight face I will never know - maybe in truth I didn't.
Also in the collection is a job advert from the company "Worcester Screw Specialists" and replies were to be sent to Mr Makepeace (Not Thackery?).
An Uncle went to school with a couple of lasses glorifying in the names Kysiah Crump and Eva Onions. He penned the rhyme - Kysiah Crump had a bump which made her Eva Onions.
genealogy? I came across the name Thirza Eliza - sort of stuck in my mind ever since.
When mum named me I think she wanted an extrovert - I fear it may be beginning to kick-in. ***BG***

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Mr Red
Date: 27 May 02 - 05:22 PM

I was told of a Mr & Mrs Rider who after many childless years finally were accepted as adoptive parents and it was the social worker who pointed-out that calling their bundle of joy - Joy - was not a good idea!

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: annamill
Date: 27 May 02 - 03:26 PM

Ok, Ok! I've got the best one, IMHO, of course.

I went out with a man who worked for the fated Lucent technologies. His boss' name was, ready, Eberhardt Wonderlich. Pause..... I always told him that if I ever met him I would have to ask him "Is that was true??"

I knew a guy in San Fransisco once, named Dicky Horne.

Gee... I think I've done this before..

Annamill

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: GUEST,petr
Date: 27 May 02 - 01:31 PM

I went to school with a Harry Savage. (in the yearbook they put 'ambition = lawyer' fate = hairy savage)

which is not as bad as a friend of a friend in Lethbridge called Harry Dick.

another friend is named Graham Bell, it did take him a while to forgive his parents.

one of my friends' dad went to a Dr. Death once, he said he sat at Deaths Door for a while.

petr

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: RoyH (Burl)
Date: 27 May 02 - 12:16 PM

IN primary school my son had a classmate called Isla Mann.

Subject: RE: BS: the funny business of names
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 27 May 02 - 07:38 AM

Then there was the Gunn family, Tommy, and his sister Bren. And of course their Aunty, Aircraft...