Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 09:25 AM

........possibly have a live TV linkup??

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 09:19 AM

It has been suggested that we invite one of the moderators on the 'Cat' to referee said fights but the trip from the US to here could be prohibitive. Also it might present whoever it was with a little stress as you cannot delete real people when they get OTT.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 08:07 AM

Another new event has been suggested for the benefit of members of the Mudcat Café Folk Forum.

With the generous co operation of Blitherscrum Boxing Club, there'll be an opportunity for Mudcatters involved in virtual disagreements in cyberspace to settle their grievances by beating the sh*t out of each other on a level playing field!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Tangledwood
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 05:19 PM

No aquapella singing workshop?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 01:31 PM

Not belly dancing again?? Only the men turned up last time.... and the beer bellies... welll!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 11:48 AM

With songs that evolved from a primeval flood,
Of fishermen fishing and men drawing blood.
With folk in deep water all trying to sleep,
Of children with eyes closed not daring to peep.

Each year we return to the same piece of ground,
To listen, to take in those old Folkie sounds.
If you have not heard them then sure you must come,
To our festival this year at old Blitherscrum.

Written by Anon from Upper Ramsbottom

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 10:57 AM

Festival workshops will be

Belly dancing with Big Jim O'Bese – a speciality workout for beer swillers & larger louts!

Could be a staggering performance!

Championship pie & boiled egg eating

Song writing competitions

Yo ho ho & a bottle of rum
Down your trouser leg at Blitherscrum
Leave an indescribable impression
At sinaround or diddly session!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 09:22 AM

The committee are inviting applications for stewards & ground staff.

All applicants will receive free tickets including camping permit for the whole week's festivities.

You will be expected to work a total of 25 hours each day, testing the quality of the food and beverages, assisting the disabled or incapable in a fine song and dance, leading athletes on the traditional wild goose chase, & any other duties as required

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 09:05 AM

More tribute acts will include:


Tom Brixton
Nauseous Nigel
Elvis Portillo
George Crosby
Bing Formby
Rectangle, promoting their greatest hit album 쳌eBasket of Tights쳌f!!
Stockport Convention
The Artic Donkeys

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 08:56 AM

No Foster's, I hope. Bastarsd deserve a Boston style tea party.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 08:50 AM

The real ale bars will be offering such gems as

Cat쳌fs Pee,
Stumpy Jack
Jumpin Jehosophat
Desert Rat
Frog Spawn
Jolly Oddfellow
Woolly Sheep
Bishop쳌fs Member
& many more!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 07:28 AM

I'm hoping to watch from the towpath - I do hope none of the banks collapse.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 07:23 AM

I guess we will hear you sing that at Blitherscrum this year Mr H.... can't wait to hear the tune LOL

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 07:03 AM

Beat inflation! With your very own solid state traditional oak beer barrel raft!

Yo ho ho, as I set sail
On my very own floating raft of ale
It won쳌ft let me down or fail
As I paddle it along in a roaring gale

Glide o쳌fer mountain, hill & vale
Cruise the plains o쳌fBlitherscrum dale
Catch your crabs or occasional whale
With your fishing pole & a big bent nail!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Folkiedave
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 03:16 AM

Inflation? What happens if someone punctures things and it does a "Well known festival that didn't happen last summer in the North York Moors Area".

You'll have let the ticket buyers down, the audience down, and most of all you'll have let the festival down.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 02:23 AM

Blitherscrum is certainly on the up and up... especially if the floods do come.. all the inflatables will go up! Anger will go up! in fact whatever goes down will be gone from Blitherscrum forever. The Committee have organised a Carnival Procession this year in which peiople from neighbouring villages can enter their 'floats' for a prize of a barrel of locally brewed Blitherscum ale (or Blitherscrum Beer as some prefer to call it) It has been hailed as the greatest real ale of the century by the local womens institute and the Salvation Army.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST,Allen in Oz
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:38 AM

I have a sinking feeling about Blitherscrum this year.

And I am in Australia !

AD1943

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Folkiedave
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 06:54 PM

What a shame Jon Boden has not listed it on his gig list.

After all his new record is so appropriate for this festival.

"Songs From the Floodplain"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 12:34 PM

"Ho'in and liquid assets? Sounds like wine, women and song.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 12:16 PM

No No No!!! It's liquid assets are great!!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mick Tems
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 12:13 PM

What's this I hear about the Blitherscrum Folk and Boat Festival being liquidated? Is it just an ugly rumour?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 11:14 AM

I leave the beet hoeing to the farming community whilst I ravage the Antique Fairs and Car Boots for gold/silver/antiques etc. looking forward to Blitherscrum which is being given high accolade this year in the' Water Sport' magazine!! LOL

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mingulay
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 10:56 AM

Aren't the words synchronised and banjo together something of an oxymoron? According to my dictionary by the way an oxymoron is an idiot who is still breathing! But then it also says that an itchyfanny is a make of Japanese motorcycle!!

G'day to you Georgian my old fruitings, I trust things are well in the land of the yellowbellies. Will you get all the beet hoeing done by lent?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 08:45 AM

Too many aged folkies trying to stick their poles where they shouldn't be sticking them more like!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 08:13 AM

Isn't that how the festival got closed down last year? Too many aged folkies sticking their poles out of their tents?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 08:00 AM

As the town is situated just a stone쳌fs throw from the beach, there쳌fll be seafood stores galore, both on the promenade & on the festival site.

If the expected floods do occur then fishing tackle will be on hire to catch your own just by sticking your pole out of your tent!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 07:52 AM

Will there be food?????

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 07:28 AM

Regarding the 쳌eboat쳌f element of the festival, we are modelling ourselves to some extent on the Midwich example, part of which is to invite members of the inland waterways association with their narrowboats to both join with the musical canal heritage & also contribute articles of artistic & cultural interest to the craft fairs & displays.

We hope they쳌fll also have their boats gaily decked out in floral & creative parade along their moorings on the canalside, then as at Midwich, tourists can enjoy their trips [over the mooring ropes] as they explore the toepath

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 06:16 AM

Just heard that the Synchronised Aquatic Banjo team are coming.. whoopeeeee.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST,Neovo
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 03:53 AM

I might come along and try my new found aquatic skills - last summer I went swimming, last summer I might have drowned but .....

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 02:59 AM

Lol @ Mingulay... where have you been my friend? Been waiting for your contribution.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mingulay
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 07:50 PM

Is it to be held in Octember again, if so, I will come and give my infamous demonstration of extreme blackberrying. Providing the briars are not immersed in more than 50 metres of water of course. I believe that is about eleven shillings in proper measurements.

I shall now go and look up the words to the narrowboat toilet pumpout shanty, sometimes known as Shallow Brown!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 05:28 PM

Obviously to go deeper!!!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: TheSnail
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 04:42 PM

A sinaround in a diving suit?! More than I can cope with.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 04:01 PM

A "sinaround"? Is that a promise, a threat or a typo?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 01:19 PM

Is that a 'wind' up gramophone or a 'wind' up gramophone???
Think about it?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST,Ringo
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 11:47 AM

We`ll be there in our "Yellow Submarine"!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 11:39 AM

Unfortunately, the webpage is down as the server can쳌ft find a suitable coin for the 쳌eleccy meter.

However, the provisional programme is here:

Friday night:

Welcome Sinaround with the Right Reverend Ignatius Tonedeaf leading the session, ably accompanied by the massed voices of the Blitherscrum Ladies Male Voice Choir.

This will take place in the primitive Methodist Chapel and commences at evensong.

In the Oddfellows Hall will be a ceilidh with Mrs Evadne Tonedeaf and her traditional wind up gramophone to provide the music.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 08:58 AM

Mr.H: you mean like suitleg whisky?

JK swimming like hell

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 08:48 AM

Georgiansilver, the next poet laureate?

Shall I start a govt. petition?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 08:36 AM

Wrap me up in me oilskins and jumper,
No more on the dockside be seen.
But to Blitherscrum I'll travel,
All their problems unravel.
And I'll see you there underwater old bean!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 08:32 AM

On the down side, the suit쳌fs boots are weighted down with lead, so in order to avoid incontinence problems, you'd best purchase Mr Happy쳌fs patent 'Pampers for Campers' which can be comfortably worn underneath the garments.

Similarly, you may find trouble arising & making your way to the bar, so Mr Happy쳌fs 쳌eAutobooze쳌f kit will overcome this issue.

It쳌fll fit nicely into your suit & furthermore, even if you쳌fre a non smoker, can easily be adapted to go under everyday wear.

Consisting of two [or optionally, more] flexy containers + some connecting tubes, the device can be arranged such that you can have a bottle of whisky [or other beverage of your choice] down inside the right leg of the suit & a bottle of beer etc in the other leg.

The tubes then connect from the bottles to your mouth.

The fact that the kit is inside the suit means it쳌fs also away from the prying eyes of landlords/ bar staff or other philistines who might want you to desist or turn ugly & chuck you out!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 08:22 AM

Harmonium Hero

LOL!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 08:16 AM

I heard that the Boat Band were running the sinkarounds.


I'll get me oilskins...JK

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 07:42 AM

The EFDSS Syncronised Swimming and Shantey Crew say they are prepared to take on all comers in a competitive match. They are currently training for the 2012 Olympics

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 07:26 AM

Good news for smokers!!

We쳌fve secured a supply of 2nd hand diving suits complete with helmets & our in house backroom boffins have been busy converting them to self-contained smoking outfits.

So now if you쳌fre in a decent session or sinaround, you can light up inside your suit & puff away happily without having to leave the room or annoy your fiends with your fumes.

Given that events could be disrupted by unexpected deluges, the suits can be real lifesavers & it쳌fd be possible to carry on the session even underwater!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Folkiedave
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 06:36 AM

Stop Press:

Cherrington/Ward "Sail on By"

And Flook are reforming to play "Haven".

The highlight of the festival will be a special re-enactment of Sam Larner and "Now is the Time for Fishing".

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 02:58 AM

I will be coming and my name is Plaidan Oat.. My girlfriend is Sanga Nair.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 02:54 AM

So who is coming from the general public this year??? Are you and what is your name?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 11:51 AM

So the toilets are flushing into the river where Michael Flatley will perform an aquatic riverdance? Oh GOODIE! He will stink in so many different ways.