Urban myths (and legends)

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: AlistairUK
Date: 13 Apr 99 - 06:00 AM

Can we start using the other urban myths thread...this is taking too damn long to download.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 13 Apr 99 - 04:02 AM

Whoops, gremlins again! take 2:
Someone told me a similar story. I would blush to repeat it in company, but on the Mudcat, no-one can see you blush ...

Guy gets cast away on a desert island, etc etc. A couple of years later he's discovered by a passing ship, which sends a nurse over to make sure he's ok before they bring him on board. The nurse, being all girly, is so overcome by this tough, bearded weather-beaten hunk that she wants to make love to him (come on, girls, it's a story, ok?).
"While you've been here," she asks him coyly, "how have you coped without, you know, female company?".
"Well, er, there's this, er, tree," he tells her shyly (but manfully), "with a knot-hole just at the right height ...". Well, you get the picture.
"Wouldn't you like to make love to a real girl?"
"Not half!"
"Just let me get ready .."
And she turns her back and start to take down her panties, when without warning he runs up and kicks her backside so hard she goes flying!
"What the hell was that for?" she gasps.
"Just checking for squirrels!"

And friends, I know, for I was that squirrel!

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 13 Apr 99 - 03:59 AM

Someone told me a similar story. I would blush to repeat it in company, but on the Mudcat, no-one can see you blush ...

Guy gets cast away on a desert island, etc etc. A couple of years later he's discovered by a passing ship, which sends a nurse over to make sure he's ok before they bring him on board. The nurse, being all girly, is so overcome by this tough, bearded weather-beaten hunk that she wants to make love to him (come on, girls, it's a story, ok?).
"While you've been here," she asks him coyly, "how have you coped without, you know, female company?".
"Well, er, there's this, er, tree," he tells her shyly (but manfully), "with a knot-hole just at the right height ...". Well, you get the picture.
"Wouldn't you like to make love to a real girl?"
"Not half!"
"Just let me get ready .."
And she turns her back and start to take down her panties, when withiut warning he runs up and kicks her backside so hard she goes flying!
"What the hell was that for?" she gasps.
"Just checking for squirrels!"

And friends, I know, for I was that squirrel!

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Big Mick
Date: 12 Apr 99 - 08:36 AM

hahahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...........I am sitting here just lmao. Great post!!!!!!!

Mick

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: AlistairUK
Date: 12 Apr 99 - 08:18 AM

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha oh my god someone did it.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Mike Ireland
Date: 12 Apr 99 - 08:13 AM

Urban myths (and legends) and needs.........

A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the Caribbean. It was the "craziest" thing he had ever done in his life. Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a child'stoy. Somehow the engineer, desperately hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a secluded island. Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts, there was little else. He lost all hope and for hours on end, sat under the same palm tree. One day, after several months had passed, a gorgeous woman in a small rowboat appeared.

"I'm from the other side of the island," she said. "Were you on the cruise ship, too?" "Yes, I was," he answered. "But where did you get that rowboat?" "Well, I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, wove the reinforced gunnel from palm branches, and made the keel and stern from a Eucalyptus tree." "But, what did you use for tools?" asked the man. "There was a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed on the south side of the island. I discovered that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. Anyhow, that's how I got the tools. But, enough of that," she said. "Where have you been living all this time? I don't see any shelter."

"To be honest, I've just been sleeping on the beach," he said. "Would you like to come to my place?" the woman asked. The engineer nodded dumbly. She expertly rowed them around to her side of the island, and tied up the boat with a handsome strand of hand-woven hemp topped with a neat back splice. They walked up a winding stone walk she had laid and around a Palm tree. There stood an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. "It's not much, but I call it home." Inside, she said, "Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?" "No, thanks," said the man. "One more coconut juice and I'll throw up!" "It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a crude still out back, so we can have authentic Pina Coladas." Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted the drink, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged stories, the woman asked, "Tell me, have you always had a beard?" "No," the man replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life until I ended up on this island." "Well if you'd like to shave, there's a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet." The man, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs to the bathroom and shaved with an intricate bone-and-shell device honed razor sharp. Next he showered -- not even attempting to fathom a guess as to how she managed to get warm water into the bathroom -- and went back downstairs. He couldn't help but admire the masterfully carved banister as he walked.

"You look great," said the woman. "I think I'll go up and slip into something more comfortable."

As she did, the man continued to sip his Pina Colada. After a short time, the woman, smelling faintly of gardenias, returned wearing a revealing gown fashioned out of pounded palm fronds.

"Tell me," she asked, "we've both been out here for a very long time with no companionship. You know what I mean. Have you been lonely... is there anything that you really, really miss? Something that all men and woman need? Something that would be really nice to have right now!" "Yes there is!" the man replied, chucking off his shyness. "There is something I've wanted to do for so long. But on this island all alone, it was just... well, it was impossible." "Well, it's not impossible, any more," the woman said.

The man, practically panting in excitement, said breathlessly: "You mean you actually figured out some way we can check the Mudcat Forum out here?"

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Tucker
Date: 12 Apr 99 - 06:43 AM

Ok Vets, who hasn't heard of the women of the orient having things placed "sideways"? And the self same ladies using double edged razor blades to disable GI's?

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Tucker
Date: 12 Apr 99 - 06:28 AM

Dear Tim Jaques, I know that doesn't sound likely, about the tunnels but have you ever heard of the underground railroad? We still find abandoned tunnels all over southern Ohio where smuggled slaves were hidden, some dug by ignorant farm workers........

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: AlistairUK
Date: 12 Apr 99 - 05:54 AM

Was it in the Sun the Mirror or the Sport? If it wasn't in the Grauniad I won't believe it!

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 12 Apr 99 - 03:55 AM

It was in the papaers, Mark, so it must be true!

Steve

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Mark Roffe
Date: 11 Apr 99 - 03:06 PM

UK folks, can you verify this?
We've heard about a London man who wanted a personalized license plate for his car. But there's a one-year waiting period for such plates in Engand (??), so he had his name legally changed to match his existing plate.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: reggie miles
Date: 11 Apr 99 - 12:12 PM

Gary D, the song that the Limelighters sing "Vasectomy" was written by a couple of friends of mine. Larry Heagle, from Eau Claire, WI was primarily credited and held the rights to it. I understand that my friend Robert "Oneman" Johnson, a close friend of Larrys, who at the time lived in Chippewa Falls, about fifteen minutes from Eau Claire, also had a hand in it's creation. He says that they finished it together one morning along with a six pack of Leinenkugel's beer. Larry, an entertainer, performs around the Minneapolis area. He plays guitar and sings silly songs and has recorded this song. He later sold it to the Limelighters who recorded it but not before I recorded it with a jug band I was playing with in the Seattle area called Strangers with Candy, 1988 "Strangers with Candy, Go Ape". I still play that song as do many of my friends who have heard me and have bought our recording. I saw the Limelighters on public tv perform a show, kind of a sixties reunion thing, and they sang it as the closing number in their set. They got a standing ovation. I on the other hand have gotten thrown out of restaurants and festivals for doing it and never been asked to return. I have to say though the positive reactions I've received for singing it over the years have far out weighed the bad and I still enjoy pulling that one out. If you need a copy I think I can help. Jonh W, you mentioned being from Salt Lake City. Are you familiar with a tune that Johnny Mercer popularized, some time in the fourties I think, it's called "I Lost My Sugar In Salt Lake City". I dug this one up from an old 78 rpm record, with a title like that how could I resist. It's basically a blues with a nice twist, it has a minor chord in the progression and a strange but silly sort of a spoken part in the middle. I've been playin' this one for years as well and too have had a chance to record it, again with that jug band I was with Strangers with Candy.

Reggie Miles

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Penny
Date: 11 Apr 99 - 09:35 AM

Thanks, Alistair. I'll pass that on.

There is something definitely Eloish/Morlocky about the Crystal Palace area, (and Wells was in the area at one time) so I'm not surprised to hear that story. Have you seen, or read, Neverwhere, by Neil Gaiman, which has a London Underworld into which a character wanders by accident? In the film, he returned to the upper world through the old Crystal Palace railway station.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: AlistairUK
Date: 10 Apr 99 - 03:29 PM

Penny: It was in issue 105, the author Michael Goss takes a trip down into the tunnels under London to find the nebulous Subterraneans that live down there. Apparently these troglodytes are desended from street people that have gradually lost any language and feed on pablum and any handy person that happens to wander along.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Night Owl
Date: 10 Apr 99 - 03:27 PM

Surprised that "Charlie on the MTA" hasn't been mentioned yet. In the fifties it was possible to go anywhere in the city of Boston with the creative use of 'transfers'. The MTA, in an effort to stop the loss of revenues, began locking turnstyles so that they would only turn in one direction, and began to get rid of the transfer system as well. I'm not sure, but I believe this song was written in response to the chaos that resulted.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Penny
Date: 10 Apr 99 - 03:19 PM

I was told about the bottomless well by the man who dropped the twine - if he's made it to Fortean Times I'd be interested to know.

Can you let me know which issue the Crystal Palace train was in? I know it was reported in the South London Press, but my friend would like to check out any other references to compare with what he was told. Certainly the eco-warriors on the site didn't break into any tunnels with their digging, not even the known Paxton service works.

My sister used to explore the tunnels which do exist under Dover Castle, which at the time had openings accessible to the public. These are now closed for safety. Pete M, did you ever go down there? I missed out on that.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: AlistairUK
Date: 10 Apr 99 - 02:58 PM

Hey Penny, Iread about both those in the Fortean Times. Though the Dunstable Phantom hitchhiker was never as ethereal as the Bluebell Hill phantom, the thing that made it so powerful a story was the banality of it.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Penny
Date: 10 Apr 99 - 02:54 PM

The phantom hitchhiker is frequently attached to Bluebell Hill in Kent, between Rochester and Maidstone. On the old road, not the dual carriageway.

And underneath the old Crystal Palace site in South London, there has been reported to be a train buried in a tunnel, full of skeletons. My friend spoke to the girl who fell into the tunnel, so it must be .... well, she couldn't show him the hole, and her original description that the skeletons were all sitting upright changed when he pointed out some boring facts about anatomy. Anyway, the tunnels there run all the way to Dover under the North Downs, and part of the way there, there is a bottomless well (this is rural, not urban), and they know it is bottomless because they unround a reel of binder twine down it, and it just kept on and on unwinding to the end of the reel without stopping. The whole planet must be full of tunnels and holes.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: AlistairUK
Date: 08 Apr 99 - 11:23 AM

I'n not sure if this is an urban myth, because it actually appeared onn Arthur.C.Clarke's Mysterious World as well as in the book that accompanied the series, but I suspect it is, I shall explain after the story:
This concerns a driver who was going home after a night with some friends. He was driving along the road when he saw a female hitchhiker. He stopped and asked where she was going, she told him. It was on his way so he gave her a lift. She wasn't very talkative so he never got much information out of her. At one point he turned round to ask her a question, and she was no longer there! Suffice to say he went stray to his local and had a few stiff ones.

Okay to explain why I don't know if this is a FOAFtale or not. I heard this story some years ago, I was interested because it happened near me, in a small town called Dunstable. About a year after the programme I was going out with this girl from Dunstable and we were having a pretty good time. When one night we were talking and I told her the above story, she went all quiet and moody. It turns out that the man in question was her Uncle and that ever since that night, he had the piss taken out of him buy all his mates at the pub ( The Windsock which no longer exists). I met her uncle, a nice bloke. What calls into question the veracity of the story is the fact that I have heard the same or similar stories over the years, in different parts of the world.
FOAF=( Friend Of A Friend)

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: DennisM
Date: 07 Apr 99 - 11:56 AM

i put 20 years in the u.s. navy and heard plenty of navy myths and legends. Funny thing though was that they all started the same way. NOW LISTEN, THIS AIN'T NO S--T.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Willie-O
Date: 06 Apr 99 - 03:34 PM

Jack the Ripper story:

A fellow named Dr. Neill Cream is a Jack the Ripper suspect. He was from Montreal; his father was a minor lumber baron who had a sawmill about fifteen miles from here (Lanark County, Ottawa Valley, Ontario) and young Neill clerked in the nearby Middleville Gen Store for awhile in the mid-1800's. The good Doctor became a professional abortionist with a sideline in poisoning women. He had to leave London Ont, went to Chicago, and went to Joliet Prison near there. There is no record of his release date so he must have bought his way out of prison. He later appeared in London England, after the Ripper murders, when he was accused and convicted of poisoning one Matilda Clover there, and sentenced to hang. Just as the trap door was sprung, he shouted out "I'm Jack the...(gack)"

My friend Chris Scott wrote a rather good psychological thriller on this charming fellow. ("Jack" , c 1988, Seal Books.)

Hitchhiking stories are a staple folk-tale of those of us from the 60's and 70's. A list I'm on shared some of our stories once. It's an article of faith among hitchhikers that "you never get a ride in a Winnebago". I got one once though, and told that story on the list. What followed was interesting--practically all the veteran hitchers had gotten at least one ride in a land yacht. Here's the best story:

Rob S. was surprised when the Bago pulled over, but ran up to the door. An elderly, very short lady was sitting on a pillow on the drivers seat. She motioned him in, and off they went. Several other hitchhikers were present--she stopped for every one. The lady kept up a non-stop screeching conversation with her husband, who seemed to be in the back somewhere. Eventually Rob realized there was no one there--her husband had in fact died several years ago leaving her to be a Geritol Gypsy on her own. When not talking to hubby, she chatted with her equally invisible dog, and sometimes stopped the bus to let him out to pee. When Rob left her company, she pulled a cookie tin out and thrust it at him, saying "take some of this, son, whatever you need". It was full of cash!!!! Rob believes the road angels were looking out for her welfare and god knows they should.

This is not a FOAF story, it was told in the first person by Rob Sandelin, a Microsoft employee. No foolin.

Another story involved "an improbable rescue at 1 a.m. from a one-armed Winnebago driver", but the teller declined to get any more specific.

My Bago story? Never mind, its too long and boring.

Bill

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: AlistairUK
Date: 06 Apr 99 - 12:35 PM

In my town in the UK ther is a large shopping centre that is served by several multi-story carparks. Anyway, my friend's aunt had been to the shopping centre do buy some groceries and she had been talking to a doctor friend of hers who had told her that one of the psychiatric patients from a local asylum had escaped. He had been sent for rehabilitation after being found guilty od six murders with a machete. My friend's aunt enterd the carpark and as usual it being arainy english evening the place was deserted and with extremely bad lighting, she took her keys from her handbag and was about to open the car door when she saw that it was already open. Thoughts of the machete murderer in her mind she naturally became extremely frightened. she heard a noise dropped her groceries and ran for the nearest exit. She founs a policeman and asked him to accompany her back to the car. He looked around the vehicle but saw nothing suspicious, relieved she thought she must have left it open, got in a drove home. As she was pulling into her driveway, she went over a pothole, she heard a clanking. metallic sound come from under the passenger side seat. When she had parked in her garage she leaned over and searched under the seat, her hands met with a cold metalllic object and her eyes opened wide with terror as she pulled out a 2 foot long machete.....and that's a true story. *grin*

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 05 Apr 99 - 10:14 PM

Bert and JMike, Yes, Alan Damron did a version of the suicide attempt. What amazes me is that this appears as the winner or the 1998 or 1999 Darwin Award. Since the song precedes the award by several years, it leads me to believe the story is apocrophyl (sp?). Which leads me to believe that perhaps all of the Darwin Award stories are apocrophyl, too bad. I have tried a couple of times to write a song about the guy with the JATO unit, but I have never been able to complete one.

Roger in Baltimore

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Kate Piazza
Date: 05 Apr 99 - 08:20 PM

There was this guy and girl that were driving around at night when there car ran out of gas.Seeing a gas station further back about a mile down the road the boyfriend left to go get some gas and he told the girl to lock the doors and no matter what sounds you hear don't open the doors, cause earlier on a news program on the radio they heard that a phsycopath had escaped from a asylem near where they were at. So he left, and after a while she heard a thump.It kept on making that noise, she fuigered that it was just the wind becouses it had been a very windy day. To keep her mind off the noise she turned on the radio.Then before she knew what was going on she was surrounded by police cars.She turned off the radio in time to hear one police yell out,"Get out of the car and slowly approach forward and whatever you do don't look back." But as she neared the police officers she couldn't hold her suspcion any longer so she turned back and saw the phycopath banging her boyfriend unattached head on the roof of the car

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Sara
Date: 05 Apr 99 - 07:57 PM

The Peanut Butter Surprise There was this girl and today was her birthday so her friends decided to throw her a surprise birthday party at her house.Knowing that every day after school she went down to the basement to give her dog his "special treats", they decided to surprise her when she comes down. So after school they hid in the basement waiting for her. After a while she came down the stairs saying,"come here doggy I have your favorate treat for you".Then her friends turned on the lights and they were surprises to see her standing there naked with peanut butter spread around between her legs.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Sara
Date: 05 Apr 99 - 07:08 PM

There was this guy that felt like he was supposed to be looking for something so he decided to go out for a drive knowing that he will find it on the way. After driving for a while he ran out of gas in front of an old house so he decided to knock on the door to see if anyone was home. A beautiful young girl answered the door. The man asked the girl who she was, but the girl couldn't speak so she had to answer his questions by writing it down on notebook paper. After a couple of weeks he got to know her better, the girl really didn't like him and wanted him to go away but she couldn't do anything about it. One night while he was sleeping in the house he heard screams in the night he went to go investigate.He looked out the window and saw a man holding the girls head over a well.Thinking it was just his imagination he went back to sleep. Later on he woke up again to screams.This time he went downstairs to look around. He saw the man he saw earlier holding a ax trying to chop off the girls head. He yelled at the girl screaming,"you stupid bitch,you betrayed me, your father".Before the boys eyes they vanihed.Thinking that he was imagining things again, he went back to sleep. A couple days later, he and the girl went on a picnic.When the girl was sleeping, he noticed that her necklace clasp had broken he took off the locket, not noticing the red line around her neck where the neklace had been. After he had fixed it,he couldn't help wondering what was inside. Earlier in the week when he had asked her if she could take it off and let him look at it but she wouldn't let him. Thinking that she will not find out about it while she was asleep, he opened it. It was a picture of him and the girl which was quite weird becouse they had never taken any pictures of themselves.After studying it for a while he tried to wake her up to ask her about it but when he lifted her up her head rolled off. The locket had been keeping her head attached to her body.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Armand (inactive)
Date: 29 Jan 99 - 02:57 PM

One "urban legend" (recent events show that it really happened) that I'm familiar with revolves around a card game called Magic. The game premise is 2 wizards wacking away at each other with their spelldecks. (the deck of cards that each player build, kinda like putting 40 aces in a poker deck that only you draw from)

Anyhow, supposedly, at a tournament, a player, who was losing, took one of his cards (valued at around $50) and tore it into pieces. He then threw the pieces at his opponent, hereby winning the game. (I don't want to bog you guys down with the rules)

Of course, just about every player that you run into claims to have been at that tourney, or knows someone who was there. Subsequently, the company then put out a card that, when you play it, you have to tear it up and throw it at your oponent. The quote on the card read, "..and you thought that was just an urban legend."

Marketting ploy or honest reporting?

Armand

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Allan C.
Date: 29 Jan 99 - 01:45 PM

I just got the following email. In view of some previous remarks I decided to share it before deleting it.

IF YOU RECEIVE AN EMAIL ENTITLED "Badtimes", DELETE IT IMMEDIATELY! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO OPEN OR READ IT. This one is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.

It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.

Finally, it will reprogram your phone autodial to call only your mother-in-law's number.

FORWARD THIS URGENT INFORMATION TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW IMMEDIATELY!!!

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Bill in Alabama
Date: 29 Jan 99 - 11:21 AM

I seem to recall a Sherlock Holmes case in which the image of the murderer was burned like a photographic negative into the victim's retina, and within the past 24 months I have read a current and popular novel about a serial killer who removed or destroyed his victims' eyes to avoid the possibility of being identified in this manner.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 29 Jan 99 - 10:57 AM

Rudyard Kipling wrote a short story about an adulterer (British) in India; the jealous husband sneaked a deadly millipede into his ear while he was asleep (the adulterer's, not the j.h.'s). The d.m. then ate its was through the man's eardrum - without waking him! - and only when he started getting funny headaches (the adulterer, not - oh, you figure it out!) did he realise what had happened: he then knew he was going to die in three and a half days (or whenever) and there was nothing he could do about it. Creepy, eh?

He wrote another based the myth that the last thing you see before you die is imprinted on your retinas ... I won't spoil the ending for you! There was a gruesome murder in the UK years ago. A policeman tried to arrest some bad guys, and one of them shot him; then he shot out his eyes so no-one could photograph his retinas. Yuk! Actually, this is (allegedly) true, and thus not a myth at all, but it's got possibilities!

Steve

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Michael Emory
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 11:13 PM

Hope you don't find humor in that, Will; my cousin bought a chainsaw from a short fellow who knew that guy.

NASA public relations was put in an awkward situation when Neil Armstrong, soon after a comment about 'one small step for man...', uttered, "Good luck, Mr. Frobusch." As he did not embellish upon this puzzling quip, NASA deleted it from public broadcast at the time. An enterprising journalist eventually came up with a Frobusch couple who had been apartment neighbors to the Armstrongs in the 1940's. Evidently their love life was a bit strained as, through apartment walls, young Neil once heard Mrs. Frobusch exclaim, "I'll f**k you when that kid next door walks on the mooon!" This is true.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Will
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 06:44 PM

I copied the following from a local (Ann Arbor, Michigan) discussion group.

-------

I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bat and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!"

But he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to save us from Armageddon when the year 2000 rolls around. And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.

His program will prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $600 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipes under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true -- I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.)

The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital -- the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to 20 people you will have good luck but 10 people you will only have OK luck and if you send it to less than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).

So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving along without its lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Art Thieme
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 06:04 PM

I heard the "turpentine in the toilet" tale with a punch line (of sorts).

About the old guy who goes to town for groceries & while he's gone his grandaughter decides to do him a "favor" by washing his pipes with benzine 'cause they were all smelly & black inside from the years of smoking. After she's done, she pours the extra benzine in the outhouse!

The old boy comes back and goes directly to the outhouse---where he fills his new pipe with the tobacco he just bought, strikes a match, lights his pipe and tosses the match into the hole he's stiing on. The resulting explosion tossed him 40 feet into the air. When he landed amidst the rubble and destruction of the outhouse he brushed himself off and mumbled to himself, "Yep, must've been something I et in town!"

Art

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Bill in Alabama
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 05:22 PM

Such a think could happen, I suppose, but only if her hair were full of gnats, midges, no-see-ums, or some other bat-attracting livestock.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Allan C.
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 03:59 PM

What I want to know is if anyone has first-hand knowledge of any woman anywhere who has actually had a bat to get tangled in her hair. Nearly every woman I know believes it to be axiomatic that long hair acts as a bat magnet.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Bill in Alabama
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 02:10 PM

The Vanishing Hitchhiker motif, which was first collected in America when we were still British Colonies, was made into a rock & roll ballad in the fifties (can't remember the name) and into a bluegrass song called Bringing Mary Home, which was recorded in the late '60s or early '70s by Charlie Waller.

The killer in the backseat motif was featured in a '70's movie which starred Sammy Davis, Jr.

Steve L.--The earwig story probably came first, since the very name earwig, which is documented as being used in England in the year 1000, comes from the belief that that small insect burrowed into the brain through the ear.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Allan S.
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 10:56 AM

THe vanishing hitchhiker was made in to a song in South Africa Die Spook Van Uniondale [THe ghost from uniondale]

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 10:46 AM

When I was about twelve years old I was told of the dreaded insect, the earwig in Ontario, Canada cottage country. It would burrow through your ear into your brain and lay eggs, which upon hatching would eat your brain causing either insanity or death. Many years later I saw an old re-run of "The Twilight Zone" featuring a person who had a spider do the same. The question is, which came first?

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Dave
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 09:49 AM

three of my favourites: 1. The guy who buys some liver and puts it on a plate in the fridge and when next he looks in its wrapped around the milk carton.

2. The guy painting in the bathroom, pours the turps. into the toilet bowl after cleaning the brushes. Proceeds to answer the call of nature by sitting on the bowl and liting up his usual cigarette. Drops the match into the bowl and blows himself off. When the ambulance guys arrive and are carting him down the stairs on a stretcher hear the story they start to laugh and drop him.

3. A guy in bed nude thinks he hears some one downstairs. checks it out - nothing. Hears a noise outside. Gets on all fours to peek under the blind on his all glass front door. His big Alsatian dog come up behind him and with his very cold wet nose investigates the guys rear - sending him shooting through the plate glass.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Cara
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 09:23 AM

Here are two of my favorites:

1) The story of St. Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland is actually a reference to the Christianization of the island, when the Druids were basically squelched. The Druids were traditionally represented by a symbol that strongly resembles the one the Amer. Med. Assoc. uses today-a serpent wrapped around a staff of some sort. So the Druids are supposed to be te snakes in the story. Anybody else heard this?

2.) A woman gets into her car in a dark mall parking lot and pulls into a gas station immediately across the road. When she hands the attendant her money, he says that he's sorry but it's a counterfeit bill and she'll have to go inside the station with him to call the police. Inside the station, he hands her money back to her and says, "there's nothing wrong with your money but there was a man with a big knife in your back seat."

Also in this vein are the "welcome to the wonderful world of AIDS (the gift given by the lover met on vacation)".

Mining Co. has a great guide to these myths. Just key in "urban Myths" in the search box. Tells all about the latest Internet hoaxes too.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 04:35 AM

Hey Lonesome EJ,
If you go to the first posting in this thread and click on Ronald Opus you'll find that there's already a song telling your first story. And it is true.

Or just click here for Ronald Opus.

cheers,
Alan

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 03:59 AM

I hadn't seen this thread before it got revived. I cantell you that in England it's not uncommon for poisonous spiders to turn up in banaas and other exotic fruit, though they're usually dead (but not alays!). And in some aprts of Birmingham (our B'ham!) sewer rats have appeared in toilet bowls and bitten people (how would you react, since you've already .. never mind!). Iknow these stories must be true, 'cos they've been in the papers!

Jack the Ripper wasn't a myth, ther really were a string of five (some say more) "Whitechapel murders" from 1860. There are quite a few books on the subject, some quite convincing, and the number of suspects is quite small. I dare say a search on the Net would turn up a few helpful sites.

Keep on mything!

Steve

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 02:20 AM

Two stories I have heard recently,told to me as being absolutely true. 1....A man lives in a highrise apartment building with his two aging parents. The parents quarrel constantly,and the old man is in the habit of threatening his wife with an unloaded revolver. Due to this and other factors, the son becomes suicidally depressed. One night,in an act of anger and desperation,he loads the revolver. Predictably, the parents begin to quarrel. As the old man brandishes the pistol,he pulls the trigger, and is stunned as the weapon goes off, putting a bullet through the window behind his wife and killing his son WHO HAS JUST JUMPED OFF OF THE ROOF IN AN ACT OF SUICIDE......NOW, I suspect that many of you have heard this many times. I have heard it so often from people who"saw it in the paper" or "on tv" that I have assumed it to be true.But is it? Anyone who heard this story FIRST HAND from a reliable source?......2 A man walks down the hall to his apartment. He enters and then ,faintly, hears a woman calling for help. Finally, he opens the glass door to his balcony and decides that the cries are coming from an apartment directly above him. He runs up the stairs and follows the sound to a door ,which he forces open. Her cries are coming from the bedroom, where he finds her naked and tied to a fourposter bed. Across the foot of the bed lies a man in a Batman costume, above them a ceiling fan whirs at high speed. She explains that they were indulging a favorite sexual fantasy when her husband leapt up on to the bed and was struck in the head by the ceiling fan, knocking him unconscious....I can't helping hoping this one is true.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 27 Jan 99 - 06:17 PM

In my search for an answer about "Puff the Magic Dragon" and marijuana (it's a hoax), I came up with this wonderful site:

The alt.folklore.urban and Urban Legends Home Page

. I posted it on our links page.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: GaryD
Date: 22 Feb 98 - 08:07 PM

Thanks, Paul, for setting the record straight on the giant 2 FOOT sewer gators.. I'm sure they are really dangerous to the 2 FOOT Sewer inspectors, too! It is always amazing how much knowledge one gains here with out Mudcat friends. I am sorry, however, about the Cookie expose'..I HAVE that recipe & it's hard to keep passing it on with a straight face, now!... If anybody wants it, just email me on the Mudcat page, or at [e-mail].. I really enjoyed this thread..even though we may have strayed from music a bit..

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From:
Date: 17 Feb 98 - 07:08 PM

Somebody in one of the newsgroups I frequent had a sig that said: "My sources are frequently unreliable, but their information is fascinating." I wish I had thought of that.:)

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From:
Date: 17 Feb 98 - 07:06 PM

One always seems to get stories spread by being forwarded by e-mail, those "Did You Know" attachments. One I received lately indicated that Winston Churchill was born in a ladies room during a dance, giving the impression that his mother was boogying the night away until misfortune befell her in the loo. The documentary I saw some time ago on A & E indicated that he was born in a small chamber at Blenheim after his mother went into labour while out riding.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Whippoorwill
Date: 17 Feb 98 - 04:06 PM

GaryD:
Your trucker/biker story has been around a long time. It was even used as a sight joke by Jerry Reed in the movie "Smoky and the Bandit."

There's one, less an urban myth than a hoax, that is making the rounds again. Every couple of years somebody starts circulating the story that the federal government is paying dividends to veterans on their Servicemen's Group Life Insurance. IT AIN'T SO! This one has cost us, the taxpayers, megabucks just answering the inquiries that have been sent to VA and the DOD. If anybody should mention it, tell him to forget it.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Bert
Date: 16 Feb 98 - 05:01 PM

JMike,

There's definitely a song there somewhere.
There sure is, Allen Damron sings one to that story, I'll look it up for you.

Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: JMike
Date: 13 Feb 98 - 11:23 PM

Wasn't there a story about a sorrowing jilted lover who decided to kill himself in a spectacular way? (And in front of his ex and her new love). Something about putting a rope around his neck, setting himself on fire and shooting himself with a shotgun as he jumped off a cliff. Supposedly he missed with the gun but shot through the rope so he fell all the way down to the lake which put out the fire, but then he drowned.

There's definitely a song there somewhere.

BTW the Neiman-Marcus story has an amusing footnote. The store here in Dallas has been quick to point out that

a. They did not at the time take VISA.

b. They do not sell recipes, but give them to anyone who asks.

c. There was not a cookie on the menu anyway.

The footnote is that there has been such a stir about the famous Neiman Marcus cookie that they NOW have one (but not the recipe that has been published as theirs).

Supposedly this story was told about some place back east about a hundred years ago. The Parker House in Boston???