BS: Resolutions for folk song characters

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 11:01 AM

I will not leave my wife unattended when Gypsies are in the neighborhood.

I will not not get attached to any more old dogs.

I will not eat any stew or soup made from eels....unless she tries some first.

All cabin boys will be subject to full medical exam when signing on.

I will not go ashore to drink & carouse during shore leave. ...nawwww, I know I'll never keep that one anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: curmudgeon
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 10:27 AM

I must never steal an Earl's lady.

I will keep an eye out for blankets falling from window ledges.

I will never go around shooting dunghill cocks.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: RangerSteve
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 09:46 AM

I will not be a railroad engineer.

I will not go to the station to see my girlfriend off on a train.

I will not be born or grow up near a railroad track.

If I were a woman and my lover asked me to go for a walk or a ride, I would ask him his intentions before we leave, and not when we get out in the middle of nowhere.

I will listen to what my mother says.

If I court the daughter of a wealthy man, I will not leave her and go out west to seek my fortune.

If I were young and handsome, I would not herd cattle during a thunderstorm. Especially if I had a mother at home waiting for my return.

I will burglar-proof my chicken coops.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Peter T.
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 09:35 AM

6. Just before going to bed at night, I will set out "blues traps", so as not to wake up in the morning with blues all around my bed.

7. If I ever go to Houston, I will walk right, I will not gamble, I will not fight.

8. I will never, never, drive a locomotive down the same track as another locomotive coming the other way, even if my own train is late, even if we have to make up time, even if it is old 97, I will not, not, not.

9. I will stay out of the pines. If, for some reason, I do in fact have to spend a night in the pines, I will wear warm clothes, take a flashlight, and bring a sandwich.

10. If I am a dragon, I will not get attached to one little boy, dragons live forever, there will be another of the ungrateful little bastards along before long.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: curmudgeon
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 09:27 AM

Upon returning to port, I will abstain from drink and shun loose women.

I will not pawn my hard-weather gear.

I will not sign aboard a whaler.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Peter T.
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 09:22 AM

Our "Folksongs for Dummies" had many of these. However, a few more:

1. When someone asks about my lover far far away, and bears even the slightest resemblance to said lover, I will (a) check; (b) if there is the least suspicion that inquirer might be said lover, but before he/she gets a chance to reveal identity, I will lecture inquirer on the nature of bastard slime who taunt those who were left behind pining, and suggest that bastard slime deserve to be retroactively drowned at sea.

2. If I am in arms of best friend's wife, and am brought up before judge, I will inquire as to whereabouts of best friend during relevant time period.

3. If girlfriend is named Frankie, I will fix that loose transom, and also ensure with cash that bartender is onside.

4. I will never go on a ship where the rich refuse to 'sociate with the poor.

5. Going gaily in the saddle is a bad idea.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: pixieofdoom
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 09:04 AM

If I am named William or Johnny I will not become a soldier

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 08:09 AM

Or alternatively - "When having a clear ouyt I will make a special effort not to thrown away any tokens, even if they look broken."

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Morticia
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 07:36 AM

I will decline to break any ring or similar love token in half, irrespective of how long my intended is likely to be away

Subject: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Marion
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 03:38 AM

Hi gang. I thought this was funny: Resolutions for Evil Overlords

So... what resolutions should characters in folk songs make?

Here's a few to get started:

When walking by a river, I will not turn my back on my companion.

I will not volunteer nor consent to try to break up a log jam.