Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: gillymor Date: 22 Feb 24 - 04:58 PM I don't get it. |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Thompson Date: 22 Feb 24 - 02:07 PM These are terrible jokes. Up your standard, lads, please. |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: MaJoC the Filk Date: 20 Feb 24 - 12:47 PM Distress (v): to give a hippie a haircut. |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Georgiansilver Date: 20 Feb 24 - 05:45 AM I once paid £120 for my ex wife to have a facepack.....For awhile she looked really beautiful.... but then they took the facepack off. |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Mr Red Date: 20 Feb 24 - 03:36 AM Baseball cap - One for the Trump threads available here "Make Orwell Fiction Again" |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Mrrzy Date: 19 Feb 24 - 10:05 AM Militant atheist Tshirt I didn't buy: There's no goddamn god, god damn it! Militant agnostic ditto: I don't know and you don't, either. |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: gillymor Date: 17 Feb 24 - 11:06 AM This one's a bit off color- A woman took her Great Dane to the vet and unexpectedly ran into one of her friends in the waiting room. "Hi, what are you doing here?" she asked. "I'm having my Poodle fixed because he's so randy that every time I bend over he tries to mount me." "Oh, mine's always trying to mount me as well." "So, are you also having him fixed?" "No, I'm having his nails clipped." |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Doug Chadwick Date: 17 Feb 24 - 08:33 AM A man rushes into the house and calls out to his wife: "Pack your bags. I've just won the jackpot on the lottery!". "That's fantastic" says his wife. "Should I pack for the mountains or the coast?". "I don't care" he replies. "Just pack your bags and go!". DC |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Georgiansilver Date: 17 Feb 24 - 08:09 AM I asked my ex-wife what she would do if I won the lottery.....she replied.' I would take my half and leave you'!!, I said 'Great I won £100, here's your £50 now go!! |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 17 Feb 24 - 05:31 AM Couple of seasonal jokes from Steve Pantomime horse walks into a bar. Barman says, would you like a pint? Horse says, no, two halves please I used to have a job as the front end of a pantomime horse, but I quit while I was a head. :-D |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Donuel Date: 14 Feb 24 - 05:41 PM Some jokes are deeper than others. |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Joe_F Date: 14 Feb 24 - 05:29 PM Mr Red: That's no joke. Kipling wrote a fine poem on that theme. I'd post it if I knew how to dig it up. |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Mr Red Date: 14 Feb 24 - 09:11 AM Seen - a placard carrying protester on a video "Please Jesus, protect me from your followers" a nice variation on the epithet "Thank God I'm an atheist" |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Bob Hitchcock Date: 14 Feb 24 - 08:47 AM Two psychics meet on the street and one says "your ok how am I". sorry |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Mrrzy Date: 13 Feb 24 - 07:12 PM Oh, I had totally forgotten this joke! Two sociologists are walking down the street, and see someone lying in the gutter, bleeding, having been severely assaulted. One sociologist turns to the other and says, whoever did this needs our help! |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Bob Hitchcock Date: 13 Feb 24 - 05:06 PM Christmas joke:- Three men were killed in a car crash on Christmas Eve. They reach the gates of Heaven and St. Peter says if you you can show me something that represents Christmas I will give you free pass. The first guy pulls a cigarette lighter from his pocket and says "candles". The next one pulls some keys from his pocket, shakes them and says "bells". The last guy is fumbling around in his pockets and finally pulls out a pair of ladies panties and says "these are Carols". |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 13 Feb 24 - 02:58 PM Do you like Dickens? Dunno, I've never been to one 100! |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: gillymor Date: 13 Feb 24 - 01:38 PM Two sociologists are sitting by the pool. One turns to the other and asks, "Have you read Marx?" to which the other replies, "Yes, it's these damn wicker chairs." |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 13 Feb 24 - 01:22 PM I got dumped at the local petrol station... now I can't drive past without filling up |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: gillymor Date: 13 Feb 24 - 11:37 AM Well, I suppose it's an attempted joke anyway. |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: MaJoC the Filk Date: 13 Feb 24 - 11:15 AM .... Melania is relieved :-) ? |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Donuel Date: 13 Feb 24 - 10:49 AM Trump has four directions: left right and up and down Just that on the left, there’s nothing right; On the right, there’s nothing left... When he's wrong he goes up in the polls when he goes down Melania is disgusted |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: MaJoC the Filk Date: 11 Feb 24 - 10:06 PM Observation from the late great Fritz Spiegl (misquoted from memory):
MaJoC's riposte:
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 11 Feb 24 - 05:46 PM The joke, although sick, was actually a joke. A far cry from the rest of your post, Don. When will you accept that you just don't understand what this thread is about? My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: gillymor Date: 11 Feb 24 - 05:34 PM Another unfunny dude. Surely you can a less sleazy source to steal from. |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Donuel Date: 11 Feb 24 - 04:51 PM That was a Ricky Gervais joke. The rest is how you guys act. |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: gillymor Date: 11 Feb 24 - 09:21 AM I didn't think it possible but you're regressing, Don. |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 11 Feb 24 - 09:16 AM Sigh... |
Subject: RE: BS:Mudcat Joke for 2024 From: Donuel Date: 11 Feb 24 - 09:08 AM What did the paraplegic orphan deaf dumb and blind kid get for Xmas? ...cancer... Thats not funny. Sure it is. How is that funny? You see the joke is on cancer. Fuck you. |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: gillymor Date: 10 Feb 24 - 11:38 AM lol |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Mrrzy Date: 10 Feb 24 - 11:04 AM People who confuse etymology and entomology bug me so much I can't find the words... |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: MaJoC the Filk Date: 08 Feb 24 - 08:52 AM Fresh off the block ....
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Georgiansilver Date: 02 Feb 24 - 05:01 AM A facebook post told me that sleeping with your pet can help build your immune system to allergies, can help you to feel more comforted in general life and to bond better with your pet. I can tell you... I tried it.... I almost drowned and ended up swallowing my goldfish |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Mrrzy Date: 01 Feb 24 - 05:29 PM Three logicians sit down at a bar. The bartender asks "Do all three of you want a beer?" The first logician says "I don't know" The second logician says "I don't know" The third logician says "Yes" |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 29 Jan 24 - 04:04 PM Life's a beach... |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Mrrzy Date: 29 Jan 24 - 02:27 PM I meant life, not like. |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Bill D Date: 28 Jan 24 - 06:43 PM The teacher is conducting vocabulary lessons. "Today's word is 'frugal'. Does anyone know what it means?" Silence... "Well, it means 'saving'. Johnny, can you tell up how it can be used?" Johnny thinks for a minute.. "Um, a famous knight was riding out one day when he saw a maiden being attacked by a dragon! She saw him and cried out "Frugal me! Frugal me!".. so he killed the dragon and frugaled her, and they lived happily ever after!" |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Thompson Date: 28 Jan 24 - 03:30 PM While we're being biblical, an old, old Dublin joke: Why did the ten leppers stand afar off?* To get a good run for the lep. * Luke 17:11-19 |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: MaJoC the Filk Date: 28 Jan 24 - 11:03 AM Stolen from the Comments section of The Register (re salt in tea):
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Mrrzy Date: 28 Jan 24 - 09:21 AM Like is slow on beaches, Dave! |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 28 Jan 24 - 03:29 AM Ahhhhhh. Just got it. Yes, I am a but slow :-) |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 28 Jan 24 - 02:42 AM I don't get that one. Sorry Mrrzy :-( Maybe I'm a bit slow today! |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Mrrzy Date: 27 Jan 24 - 10:27 PM Why? Kiki said so! |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 27 Jan 24 - 03:18 PM I just burned my Hawaiian pizza. I should have cooked it on aloha temperature! :-D |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 25 Jan 24 - 08:09 AM By me too :-D |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Charmion's brother Andrew Date: 25 Jan 24 - 08:06 AM Nicked for future use, Georgiansilver. |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: gillymor Date: 23 Jan 24 - 11:04 AM My wife came home the other night and told me to take off her blouse. Then she told me to take off her skirt. Then she told me never to wear her clothes again. |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 23 Jan 24 - 08:02 AM :D:D:D |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: Georgiansilver Date: 23 Jan 24 - 06:19 AM At the time of The Flood it was decided that the koi Carp deserved their own ark so Noah built one with a few levels allowing the Koi to swim freely up and down. It had to be towed behind the main ark on a very long rope. They needed the protection of their ark but also deserved some freedom so the koi would sometimes go off on a little adventure and when they came back they would tell Noah where they'd been and what they'd done. Noah looked forward to this and day after day there was a new story for him. This was probably the very first multi-storey carp ark. |
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024 From: gillymor Date: 22 Jan 24 - 03:24 PM Joke thread, Don, JOKE thread! |