BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 09:58 PM

Gently, he reaches into his possibles bag and pulls out...a lute! A rosewood lute! He carefully caresses its strings, calling forth the wine-dark sound, and cranking up his voice he bursts forth with the traditional carol of his Season:

Christmas time is here, by golly,
Disapproval would be folly.
Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
Fill the cup and don't say when.

Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens.
Even though the prospect sickens,
Brother, here we go again.

On Christmas Day you can't get sore,
Your fellow man you must adore.
There's time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty-four.

Relations, sparing no expense, 'll
Send some useless old utensil,
Or a matching pen and pencil.
("Just the thing I need, how nice!")

It doesn't matter how sincere it is,
Nor how heart felt the spirit,
Sentiment will not endear it,
What's important is the price.

Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest ye merry merchants,
May ye make the Yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high,
Tell us to go out and buy!

So, let the raucous sleighbells jingle,
Hail our dear old friend Kris Kringle,
Driving his reindeer across the sky.
Don't stand underneath when they fly by.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 09:43 PM

I agree with Sir jOhn. This year I intend to celebrate Festivus. Festivus for the Restivus!

Where can I set up the Aluminum Pole? I think I'll have a few more drinks before voicing my annoyance with various individuals for their stupidity this year. And if we can just push the Jell-O pit over a few feet, there will be plenty of room for physical combat later.

YUCCHHH! Who put jellied squid in the pit? It stinks!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: InOBU
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 09:30 PM

Gruummplefus?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Amanda Plain and Tall
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 08:48 PM

Amanda lines three of Big Mick's coffees up in front of Lor and nudges Cheney with her food. "Friend? Would thee like another drink?"

She takes a dainty sip of scotch...er...apple juice, and turns to Sir John.

"Tell me more about the attrocities of Yule?"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Dead Horse
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 08:47 PM

I warned you carollers. I got me (t)rusty 12 bore loaded with $2 dollar shot. It was buck shot, but the price of peppercorns went up, owing to a fire at the factory. I was lucky to get this lot on e-bay.
O.K. Who wants pepperin'?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: InOBU
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 08:35 PM

make mine another coffee from Big Mick... (I say holding up three fingers...)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 08:32 PM

chritsmas is a big rip off., and shouled be abolished.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Amanda Plain and Tall
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 07:14 PM

spring has sprung,
the grass is ris.
I wonder where the birdies is?

Damn, wrong season....

Amanda leaves off the muttering of poetry and gives her bandmates, on snoring and one babling, to their disgrace in the corner, and goes for a refill of "apple juice"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: MAG
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 07:13 PM

OK, everybody got your *Christmas Revels Songbook* open to the rounds pages?? Let's start on the second page (of rounds), that has all the peace ones. "Allelujah" is fun ... we got about two dozen now; we can drown out the rowdies if we try ... oh, er, they is us ...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: InOBU
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 06:19 PM

Were it in the Wurzle Tree, doz tha be the tree tha asks of me, and if it be, what birdie be t'bird ta' sees, an doz it bee t' bird t'asks of me?

hic
Lor

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Wuzzle
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 04:38 PM

What manner of place is this I have stumbled upon. Is there a welcome jug of ale (or two, well maybe three) for a weary traveller? And what manner of bird was it that sat in yonder tree,

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: InOBU
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 04:14 PM

Huummmmm smell of applewood.... HEY!!! WHose recorders are those in the fire....! PUNKOID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 04:13 PM

Duck sticks his head over the parapet of the Minstrel's Gallery.
"It's a bit quiet in here tonight!"
Looks around again and spots sombody attempting to throw Oaklet onto a roaring fire.
"Well!! - at least there might be some space in the Hot Tub....."


He lowers a rope attached to a glass in a basket-weave sling which holds it upright. The barkeeper fills it with a large pint (Imperial measure rather than U.S.) of dark liquid with a hint of nutmeg and cinnamon..... and beer - of course. The Duck then gently hauls it upwards, muttering something like "Heave up - and wash their noses..." just too quietly for it to be really distinguishable. He then returns to the relative quiet of the East Gallery - the West Gallery is too full of people singing.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: el_punkoid_nouveau
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 03:30 PM

el_punkoid started to shiver, as his path to the fire was blocked by some bird picking pine needles out of her bum.

"Hey guys - it's getting chilly here! Let's throw a little more wood on this fire" he said, reverting to his former pyromanic tendencies.

He scrabbled through the growing crowd around the fireplace, until he reached the log basket.

"Mmmmm - good wood here. ooh look - a nice bit of willow - that'll get things going nicely. Oh, and a couple of logs of applewood - wow that'll give a pleasing smell - we'll chuck those on!"

He scrabbled a bit further in the log basket.

"Hey - let's throw these bits of oak on!!!!!!!!"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: InOBU
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 02:08 PM

Lorcan sits up, the remains of his Mick made coffee is puddled on his cheast... he stirs said remains with his thumb... smiles... licks his thumb and passes out again.

Genie arives with Sinsull, takes a broom... sweeps up the band, shoves Lorcan's head into the bob for apples barrel, changes his shirt, gives the monkey a roll of TUMS (registered trademark) strapps his Uilleann pipes about him, and Sorcha Dorcha is ready for the next set... Genie then stirs Rapaire's hand with her coffee...

Cheers Lorcan

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 12:26 PM

I'm a librarian logger and I stir MY coffee with my whole hand!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: GUEST,Thisbe
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 10:43 AM

Hi, I was here for a little while last fall, but, well, had to leave in a hurry. I just can't stay away, the Mudcat Tavern is too compelling a place to reside. I'd like to move into that coat closet or perhaps a spare room off of the Recovery Ward. I met Ratched--she's . . . well. . . interesting. My name? It's Thisbe (seemed best to draw on literature this time round), and I'm waiting for my Pyramus to arrive one of these days. Meanwhile, may I serve you a drink?

Do I see you stirring your coffee with your thumb, InOBU?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: MBSLynne
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 09:53 AM

That's not the Amazing Rutherford....it's Cookie Monster!! I've hardly touched the alcohol yet and I'm seeing weird blue monsters!!! What is IN this stuff??? Or is it that purple smoke drifting out of the fireplace   m o r e    s l o w l y    t   h   a   n         
s       m      o    k    e                  o    u    g    h    t
toooooooooooooooo.......................

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: My guru always said
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 09:25 AM

Mmmmmmmm, pickled squid, deeelicious!!! (Wonder what it's name was?) Tequila too - any chance of a Baileys chaser? purrrred the MadCat, comfortably perched on Rustic Rebel's shoulder.

That nasty de-clawing sure has helped the poor Kitty stay out of trouble so far, but she feels she's losing her grip. Ah, but that's situation normal here. Thankfully she still has most of her teeth and is looking forward to MMario's culinary delights. Unfortunately, the 'Black Hole Time-Warp BBQ' hasn't appeared out back, so the Filet isn't even started yet.

The MadCat settles down to her Tequila & Baileys thrumming her paws in time to the Music. Hey, what's that then? A bassoon eh? Interesting choice, but don't forget to take a Sip now & again.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: GUEST,The Amazing Rutherford
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 08:58 AM

Woman gone. Tree gone. Nothing left. Amazing Rutherford still hungry.

Wait. Noise. Little thing making noise of drummer boy. Amazing Rutherford EAT!


(Sounds of crunching, munching, bunching, trunching, and clunching.)


BURP!


Not real good. Amazing Rutherford have heartburn.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: MMario
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 08:43 AM

sorta like when singing "Hawk! the Herald Angels sing!"?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 08:40 AM

Hannukah - ya have to KCHUU like you're launching a loogie - as heard on the Rugrats....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: MMario
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 08:28 AM

only two shopping days left until Hannukka! (I never can spell that right!)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: InOBU
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 07:54 AM

In the corner where Sorcha Dorcha is flaking out the tunes...
Dick "Scott" Cheney is drinking lemonaid, Amanda is drinking apple juice Lorcan is drinking grape juice, but they are playing faster and laughing more uncontrollably... and twisting the words to Christmas Carols and ballads together, so good King Wenscelslaus has just been ship wreacked on Anderson's Coast... so to sober them up, Katlaughing brings them large mugs of coffee, prepaired by Big Mick, so after several sips, all three tip over backwords, eyes shut, big smiles, and Big Mick tosses the empty bottle of Jamison's out the front door.
Cheers
Lor
Ta Mick and Kat... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 05:58 AM

The night may be early but the pizza is late..... where is my mushroom, olive and pineapple medley?!

And can someone explain just why there is a squid in the Christmas tree?

Hang on... that's not a squid.....


Ah!!! It's you Oak, didn't recognise you with those glasses on.....

You really should stop wearing those Elton John frames you know.... you'll get a name for yourself!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 01:38 AM

A ruggedly handsome man with square chin, long locks of golden yellow, straight nose, and a body that went well with his attire, a loin cloth with an adorned body of peacock feathers entered from the northern door.
He was carrying a washboard, and two gallon jars.
He yells out a howdy to everyone and set one of his jars of homegrown picked eggs in the middle of the bar and cracked it open for everyone.
Then he moves back over toward Rustic, gives her a big hug and sets the second jar of pickled squid in front of her and says, I finally made it. That squid was one tough little slime bitch but I got her. Merry Christmas.
Rustic (me) laugh gently and cracks open the jar. Digs right in with her fingers and gets the first lovely morsel and chuckles to herself, knowing exactly where this squid has been before.
She eats another morsel, hand feeds Basil (the loined clothed manly man of the north) and offers some to My guru, then passes it down the bar.
Rusic then pours Basil a tequila and they settle in and start to play, Basil on washboard Rusic on the bassoon-All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.
I say to My guru, I hope I can leave this joint with my two front teeth, as I glance at Dead Horse. The night is early.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: chris nightbird childs
Date: 05 Dec 04 - 11:19 PM

Get yer bloody hand off my knee Oak!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: InOBU
Date: 05 Dec 04 - 09:45 PM

Hi Sinsull:
That was Genie, the wee wifee! BUT DO come to our next gig, at the Friends Meeting House on Jan 1, (by then the Mudcat Taven will be put away for a year...) and hear Amanda sing The New Brunswick Drummerboy... and Mailli Dhonn and other great things... here's some "apple juice" Amanda, just pull up a chair next to the monkey.
Cheers and this isn't white wine, it's grape juice... eh hem...
Lor

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 05 Dec 04 - 09:41 PM

Well belly on up next to me there My Guru, How's it going? I don't remember an incident but I don't remember yesterday either. Let me pour you a shot of this Traditional tequila, cut some plum up and talk about the forgiving nature of a drunken bassoon player.
Oh I didn't tell you I was playing the bassoon this year? Yes indeed I am the Christmas bassoonist. I promise I will learn as fast as I can and play all of our favorite Christmas carols just for Dead Horse. If I can't quite learn the bassoon that fast, let's talk about the forgiving nature of a drunken tambourine player and I'll give up the bassoon to whoever wants to play.
By the way, that was pretty cool the way that tree flew up and out and caught MBSLynne. That must have been a strange trip.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: mg
Date: 05 Dec 04 - 09:08 PM

batteries are only there to fool people. There is another energy source that humankind hasn't really figured out yet. If you throw him far away, he will find his way back. If you try to blow him up, he will get very upset. mg

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Amanda Plain and Tall
Date: 05 Dec 04 - 09:07 PM

Must have been another InObu friend! I haven't been eaten Ethiopean in NYC yet. Hmm. Should remedy that. But although I'm not that particular non-snob, I'm still a non-snob.
;)

*peers at the jello-mess* As if I needed another reason to stay away from Jello Shots...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Dec 04 - 08:59 PM

Amanda - I have met you. Went to dinner with you and InObu in NYC at an Ethiopean restaurant. Definitely not a snob.

Now what are we going to do about the Little Drummer Boy? Into the Jell-o pit with him? SPHLOCCK!!!! Bar Rump Pum Pum Pum... DeadHorse, just the right amount of peppercorns up his battery should put an end to the noise. WAIT! Watch out for the guy cooling his scorched nuts in the Jell-O. Damn! Too late...sorry

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: mg
Date: 05 Dec 04 - 08:51 PM

and in comes the robot dressed to look like the little drummer boy. he knows only one song and it is the little drummer boy. there is no off button. the remote is somewhere in siberia. mg

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Amanda Plain and Tall
Date: 05 Dec 04 - 07:54 PM

I was more popular when I wan't there than I've ever been in my life. I'm talking now - I signed in at 3 am in a bout of insomnia, then went to bed and didn't return to my computer until 5 and saw the carnage in Mudchat. :) Looks like I was good for some entertainment.

You'll find me many things, (absent minded, most of all!) but never a snob,I hope! :)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Dec 04 - 07:48 PM

Done tweezing Rapaire. Now, how about you Lynne? Any pine needles in need of extraction? No? OK, not a problem.

Amanda - what are you doing in here? You're still logged on in the Chat Room and everyone thinks you're a snob.Too good for them...

Time to hang some balls? I claim the blue ones, the rest of you are on your own.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: rumanci
Date: 05 Dec 04 - 06:52 PM

Sorry DH
Latest regulations........optics must be set at the optimum height for the licensee to get a permanent crick and to suffer agonies of "will it - won't it" putting up those giant gold watch ringers........sigh......... and there's you thinking it was just the punters who suffer from miserable pub land(person?)itis - huh !!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Amanda Plain and Tall
Date: 05 Dec 04 - 06:50 PM

My god, Lor, you're one for the tall tales. Someone pour me some scotch and tell me it's apple juice so I can drink it in front of my fellow Quakers....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Dead Horse
Date: 05 Dec 04 - 06:43 PM

Is there a tv set in here? I want to see how the insects are coping with all them celebs foisted upon 'em in Aussieland.
And could some kind soul lower the optics please?
It is difficult judging where to lie beneath them when they are so high on the wall. I got some Snodrogs in my eye just now, and it smarts!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Dec 04 - 11:31 AM

Pining away in the parking lot, eh, Lynne? LTS has had some pretty gruesome adventures in the christmas tavern, maybe you two should have a couple of stiff drinks and compare notes.

Anyway, now the tree is reduced to small logs and slim twigs to drop in the fire. It'll make the place smell great, also, but keep the fireplace doors closed or you'll have sparks popping out all over the place.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: MBSLynne
Date: 05 Dec 04 - 10:48 AM

Well SRS, I was just bending over......... Thanks for the invitation, someone give me a hand.....NOT there Oak!! Oooh, this tree is awfully prickly. Ahhh that's better. Ok, where's that drink? And I could do with a bowl of warming soup.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 05 Dec 04 - 03:27 AM

Let's give the Xmas carols a rest boys & girls, what's on the juke box? Let me see...
Ah, yes, that's better...
Sound of Bessie Smith singing "At the Christmas Ball" wafts through the air and in the corner a ragged old man joins in on battered washboard and kazoo, a tin cup at his feet.

RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 04 - 09:59 PM

11/16. Gotta play in 11/16. What the...G-flat???!!! Nobody plays in G-flat! What the hell's the fingering for G-flat? 2nd valve? Good Lord, I'll have to go look this one up. Glad I'm getting off the painkiller, 'cause now I can start to suck up the Talisker eventually. 11/16 and G-flat. What's the world coming to?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Dave Wynn
Date: 04 Dec 04 - 09:28 PM

Oh...here it is......Kicks open the door. looks around.....orders half a pint of Guinness and jello with a Glenmorangie top. Licks his own balls (coz he can) and sticks his head as far as it will go up his own arse. Wonders what the F# is a Middle Bar Singer doing with a foot of Spruce stuck up the jacksie....nods to the room and kicks off Fields of Athenry in F#Maj. Dogs and Dolphins only please. All around the room.............

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Dec 04 - 08:54 PM

Singed nuts, broken balls, and an angel with a tree stuck up her...and I thought I had problems.
Refill on the JD please and I will retreat to my corner and help Rapaire finish off that half-assed waxing job on his chest. Tweezers, please. I will sterilize them in the bourbon.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 Dec 04 - 07:50 PM

Oak, how about getting your small bag a drink... she looks thirsty.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Dec 04 - 01:13 PM

Maybe it's time to get out of the old tree, put on some clothes, and come inside for a drink, Lynne! How'd you end up there, anyway? You weren't in it when it was launched through the skylite.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: MBSLynne
Date: 04 Dec 04 - 12:59 PM

Just be really careful which limbs you're chopping off there SRS!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Dec 04 - 11:08 AM

Maybe one of the guys would hand me that little Swede hook behind the bar (in the cupboard back there, see it?) and I'll go lop the limbs off of the old tree and chunk it into pieces. They'll smell good in the fireplace now that they've dried for a year. They might pop and spark a little so be sure the fireplace screen stays in place.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Oaklet
Date: 04 Dec 04 - 10:21 AM

...er hello, I am from England and would like to enquire about rooms. Do you have accomodation? You do - ah good......pardon, how long? Yes....er....right.....I was thinking about... er... 'til the end of January 2005 or slightly after - you know, 'til it all blows over. Oh that's good. Again? - Ah, If it's ok with you, I'd like the room at the front - I don't want to be disturbed by that woman stuck in the tree. Porter? er no thanks It's ok - I only have a small bag. I'll manage. Thanks. Er, no newspaper thanks. And no alarm call please - don't worry - I'll know when it's January.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: MBSLynne
Date: 04 Dec 04 - 08:02 AM

Look guys...I don't mind sitting on top of the tree, but can it be the one INSIDE, not the old one in the car park??? And yes please Liz to the food parcel, but what about the DRINK!!!???? And the clean knickers are a bit irrelevant due to where the tree is......

I was going to say something to the Amazing Rutherford about squid...but on second thoughts.....