BS: Things a redneck would never say.....

Subject: RE: BS: Things a redneck would never say.....
From: Bobert
Date: 23 Nov 11 - 08:58 PM

I been around so many rednecks that I never worry too much about what they ain't gonna say... I'm always amazed at just what they will say...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Things a redneck would never say.....
From: GUEST,Wesley S
Date: 23 Nov 11 - 08:55 PM

I'd also heard that commonly - a rednecks last words were often:

"Hey guys - watch this!".

Subject: RE: BS: Things a redneck would never say.....
From: GUEST,999
Date: 23 Nov 11 - 08:39 PM

Levity is a bowl of grits.

Subject: RE: BS: Things a redneck would never say.....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Nov 11 - 08:32 PM

Number 9 was the best. I burst out laughing when I read it. It's like they say, brevity is the soul of wit.

Subject: RE: BS: Things a redneck would never say.....
From: gnu
Date: 23 Nov 11 - 08:30 PM

Go ahead. If you make it, I'll follow.

Subject: BS: Things a redneck would never say.....
From: GUEST,Wesley S
Date: 23 Nov 11 - 08:10 PM

A friend of mine from New York City just sent this to me:

The top 40 things a redneck would never say:

40. Oh I just couldn't, heck, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup. It's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit & grapes instead of biscuits & gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin'is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
12. My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
9. Checkmate!
8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
5. I don't have a favorite college team.
4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
3. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
1. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight.