BS: Joe Offer f/ Homeland Security Secretary

Subject: RE: BS: Joe Offer f/ Homeland Security Secretary
From: SINSULL
Date: 15 Dec 04 - 07:04 PM

Is Jeri the lovely Charlotte? Scary thought...

Subject: RE: BS: Joe Offer f/ Homeland Security Secretary
From: Joe Offer
Date: 15 Dec 04 - 06:58 PM

Gee, I don't know if I should love Bee-dubya or hate him for starting this thread.

Martin's right - we haven't been doing a very good job of keeping the peace around here, and Martin's is the first head that should roll. There has been far too much animosity on this site lately. I know it's nice to honor freedom of speech and all, but nice people just don't feel comfortable relaxing here when there's nastiness all around.

I know some people say that we should be able to have a good time standing in waist-deep shit here if we just don't look at it - but that just doesn't seem to be practical.

So, we've been agonizing about it, and haven't come up with a solution we like. I've been doing home-schooling with my 9th-grade stepson, and we just finished the section on the Reign of Terror. Maybe we need a Reign of Terror to bring peace to Mudcat. Pene Azul can be Robespierre, and I can be Marat. Trouble is, Robespierre met his fate with the guillotine, and Marat was stabbed to death in his bathtub by the lovely Charlotte Corday.

Homeland Security?
No, thanks. Not me.
Not even at Mudcat.

-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: Joe Offer f/ Homeland Security Secretary
From: PoppaGator
Date: 15 Dec 04 - 05:16 PM

refresh

Subject: RE: BS: Joe Offer f/ Homeland Security Secretary
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 04 - 05:32 PM

Security demands that he NOT live in DC. Let him stay were he is and telecommute (you don't think that he flies to PA to work on the 'Cat, do you?).

Better yet, let him relocate to Pocatello, Idaho and bring the whole Department with him. We need the jobs.

Subject: RE: BS: Joe Offer f/ Homeland Security Secretary
From: SINSULL
Date: 14 Dec 04 - 02:22 PM

Fist of I ron tempered by common sense - works for me. Ready for the Beltway, Joe?

Subject: RE: BS: Joe Offer f/ Homeland Security Secretary
From: open mike
Date: 14 Dec 04 - 01:22 AM

and vampire is in charge of the blood bank.

Subject: RE: BS: Joe Offer f/ Homeland Security Secretary
From: Cluin
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 11:26 PM

Why not? The fox is in charge of the chickens everywhere else in the government.

Subject: RE: BS: Joe Offer f/ Homeland Security Secretary
From: Bobert
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 11:08 PM

Word on the street is that Junior is gonna offer the job to his cousin, Osoma...

Subject: RE: BS: Joe Offer f/ Homeland Security Secretary
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 10:56 PM

Joe already worked for the gummint...he's far to wise to do it again....
......................but, if we can install a 'delete' button for stupid political statements as part of the deal, I'll take the job!

Subject: RE: BS: Joe Offer f/ Homeland Security Secretary
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 09:12 PM

Joe has way too good a sense of humor to survive long in DC. Spare him!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Joe Offer f/ Homeland Security Secretary
From: beetle cat
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 09:03 PM

well.. just as long as i get his current job...
heh just kidding.

Subject: RE: BS: Joe Offer f/ Homeland Security Secretary
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 09:02 PM

But he types really well and I hear he makes great coffee. Absolute requirements in a Secretary.

Subject: RE: BS: Joe Offer f/ Homeland Security Secretary
From: Once Famous
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 08:59 PM

Joe would not be a good homeland security chief.

Too much fucking shit gets by him and I wouldn't want to take the chance.

Subject: BS: Joe Offer f/ Homeland Security Secretary
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 08:57 PM

Now that Tom Ridge has decided to resign to spend more time with his family (that's beltway-speak for take a job at ten times the pay with some outfit who wants to say they have a former cabinet secretary working for them), and Dubya's first choice for Ridge's replacement got shot down faster than an unregistered ultralight over Falluja, the job of Secretary of Homeland Security is up for grabs. Who better to fill the job than our own Joe Offer?

Yes, just think about all the thankless hours Joe has put in through the years deleting SPAM and racial slurs and posts from Gargoyle and Martin Gibson. Joe has done an outstanding job of protecting us from harmful outside influences. And he's done an even better job of protecting us from ourselves! The choice is obvious! Joe's the man!

Sure, he'll need to work on a few things like inciting paranoia on a nation-wide basis and kissing Dubya's ass, but those are skills that can be learned in a hurry. And with guys like Cheney and Rumsfeld to learn from it won't take a guy like Joe long at all.

So, whatta ya say, Joe? Do we toss your name into the ring? Just think, only four years and you can spend more time with your own family and just be rollin' in dough.