'Gag' Song Titles

Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles
From: musicmick
Date: 16 Oct 03 - 12:20 AM

They are all wonderful. Well, some are more wonderful than others.
By the way, Fretless, I think that song title was "I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lyin' On My Back In My Bed While I Cry Over You".
I own a copy of "Royal Wedding" just so I can hear that "How Could You Believe Me...." song whenever I like.
Homeless, that title you suggested reminded me of "She's Got Freckles On Her BUT She's All Mine"
Once again, I thank the endless store of Mudcat trivia.

                Mike

Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles
From: Mickey191
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 11:23 PM

"If I'da killed her when I shoulda,' I'd be out now."

Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 10:46 PM

My Canary has circles under his eyes.

Robin

Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles
From: GUEST,pdq
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 07:59 PM

Sounds a bit crude, but it's supposed to be a real song:

"If I Can't Be Your Number One Then Number Two On You!"

Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles
From: nancyjo
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 05:00 PM

You're the Hangnail in My Life (and I can't bite you off) Hoyt Axton

(Work your fingers to the bone, what d'ya get?) Boney fingers; Hoyt Axton

I've got the hungries for your love (and I'm waitin' in your welfare line); Buck Owens

It Was Always So Easy To Find an Unhappy Woman ('till I started looking for mine); Moe Bandy

My tears have washed I love you from the blackboard of my heart; Hank Thompson

(O Lord) I want my rib back; Kenny Chesney

And the wonderful Lane/Lerner song from Royal Wedding -- How could you believe me when I said I loved you when you know I've been a liar all my life.

Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles
From: PageOfCups
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 04:32 PM

New one from Tracy Byrd: "The Drinkin' Bone's Connected to the Party Bone." Who sez they don't write songs like that any more? ;-)

PoC

Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles
From: GUEST,Nancy King at work
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 04:28 PM

"She locked me in the trunk and now I'm wallowing in despair"

Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles
From: GUEST,reggie miles
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 04:12 PM

I Gave Her The Ring, She Gave Me The Finger
The Tears Of Her Eyes Washed Out The Bridge Of Her Nose
I Knew You Really Missed Me Darlin', When The Ashtray Flew Past My Head

Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles
From: Homeless
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 04:06 PM

"I want to kiss her but
she won't let me"

Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 03:43 PM

"Don't cry for me Marge and Tina"

Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles
From: GUEST,pdq
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 03:09 PM

How about "If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me?"

Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles
From: alanabit
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 02:41 PM

A Texan friend of mine, who is a big country fan, once played me a delightfully corny song called, "Let's do something cheap and superficial." I was impressed!

Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 02:25 PM

Feed Your Babies Onions So You Can Find Them in the Dark.

~S~

Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles
From: breezy
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 11:53 AM

She sits among the cabbages and peas



Folkclub this Friday 17th Oct at the Comfort Hotel, St Albans with Johnny Collins as the maine feature

n/w El Greko

week after,31st Oct Roy Bailey

Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles
From: fretless
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 11:43 AM

Highwoods String Band used to do "Run to the Roundhouse, Sally, the Boys Can't Corner You There."

I didn't see the old favorite "I've Got Tears in My Ears from Lying on My Back and Crying in My Sleep Over You" in WYSIWYG's list.

Calvin Trillin included a whole bunch of absurd country music song titles in his book "Runestruck." Now out of print, alas.

Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 09:49 AM

The list of country titles, below, has gone around at various times in email.

A few I have noticed:

You're the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly (Conway & Loretta)
Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart (Johnny Cash, and every line is a variant. On a live recording-- you can hear the audience cracking up.)

~S~


All I Want From You Is Away
You Can't Have Your Kate and Edith Too
I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Almost Like Having You Here
Four on the Floor and a Fifth Under the Seat
If You Can't Be Good, Be Bad With Me
Bubba Shot the Jukebox
Are You Drinkin' With Me, Jesus?
Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreen's and I Cried All the Way to Sears
How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?
I'm Under the Table Over You
Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goal Posts of Life
Am I Double Parked by the Curbstone of Your Heart?
I'm Gonna Put a Bar in the Back of My Car and Drive Myself to Drink
Welcome to Dumpsville, Population Me
If Love Were Oil, I'd Be a Quart Low
Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed
If You Can't Be Good, Son, Be Good At It
My Phone Ain't Been Ringing, So I Guess it Wasn't You
I've Been Roped and Throwed By Jesus in the Holy Ghost Corral
I Bought the Shoes That Just Walked Out on Me
She's Acting Single, I'm Drinking Doubles
Is It Cold In Here, or Is It Just You?
We Used to Kiss on the Lips, But It's All Over Now
My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don't Love Jesus
Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone
I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?
You Ain't Much Fun Since I Quit Drinkin'
I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling
You're the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly
If You're Gonna Do Me Wrong, Do It Right
Thanks to the Cathouse, I'm in the Doghouse With You
I Would Kiss You Through the Screen Door But It'd Strain Our Love
I Fell for Her, She Fell for Him, and He Fell for Me
You Were Only a Splinter as I Slid Down the Banister of Life
Did I Shave my Legs for This?
I Fell in a Pile of You and Got Love All Over Me
She Got the Gold Mine and I Got the Shaft
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, and I Sure Do Miss Him
Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
If You Want to Keep the Beer Real Cold, Put it Next to My Ex-Wife's Heart
I Gave Her My Heart and a Diamond and She Clubbed Me with a Spade
If Whiskey Were a Woman, I'd Be Married for Sure
I Sat Down on a Beartrap (Just This Morning)
She Looks Good Through the Bottom of My Shot Glass
If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead?
Mama, Get the Hammer (There's a Fly on Papa's Head)
Red Necks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer
I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim is Getting Better
If You Don't Leave Me, I'll Find Someone Who Will
My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight

Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles
From: alanabit
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 04:27 AM

There are some great threads on this subject here already Mike. I always liked, "My wife ran off with my best friend - and I really miss him."

Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles
From: Helen
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 01:21 AM

An Oz pop song a couple of decades ago was called "If you leave me, can I come too" by a band called Mental As Anything.

Helen

Subject: 'Gag' Song Titles
From: musicmick
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 01:14 AM

I am collecting "gag" song tiltles like "I USED TO KISS HER ON THE LIPS BUT IT'S ALL OVER NOW" and "I KISSED HER LIPS AND LEFT HER BEHIND FOR YOU" or, even, "HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?"
or, my favorite "I'M SO MISERABLE WITHOUT YOU, IT'S ALMOST LIKE HAVING YOU HERE".

There must be lots of them out there.