What gender is your instrument?

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 04:55 PM

My guitar seems neuter to me, but my girlfriend in college told me she was insanely jealous of it for a while. Something about the way I held it and touched it. Then she thought about it and decided there was no reason to be jealous since I couldn't have sex with the guitar even if I wanted to.

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: kendall
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 04:07 PM

When I asked a friend if he wanted to see a photo of the other woman in my life I could see that look on his face. I made it worse by telling him that she is black, 60 plus years old and quite beautiful. Then, I showed him a photo of my 1940 Chevrolet. He was amused.

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 03:57 PM

My guitar is neuter, I suppose, but my banjo is definitely female. And thereby hangs a tale, which I can't forbear telling again here:

About forty-five years ago, when my Beautiful Wife and I had only been married about four months, I had to call her and tell her, "Won't be home until all hours tonight. A rush job came up that I HAVE to finish before I can think about coming home!" My newlywed wife was not enthusiastic, but what can you do? I dragged my weary carcass into bed about two o'clock.

The very next night I had to call her AGAIN and say, "I've got ANOTHER rush job; you go to bed, and I'll be home when I can!" Further unenthusiastic rumblings. This time it was about four o'clock when I left the office.

The following morning I was able to assure her that the situation that caused those late nights was over, and I said, with a grin, "I hope you didn't think there was another woman!"

My new wife's reply: "Well, the thought had crossed my mind!"

(Have patience; I'll get to the punch line in a while!)

Over the years, with the crazy hours I had to work sometimes, we built up a legend of "the other woman" at the office downtown. She was a statuesque Nordic blonde, sort of a Swedish masseuse type, with long blonde braids down her back, and her name was Olga.

When I retired in 1996 I decided that I'd always wanted to learn 5-string banjo, so I did. When I could afford to replace the El Cheapo piece of junk I'd been learning on, I had Mike Ramsey build me a beautiful natural blonde curly-maple open-back, and had him inlay the name "OLGA" at the 10th fret.

I said nothing of that name on the fingerboard to my Beautiful Wife. When at last that long-looked-for UPS shipment arrived and I opened the case, there, for all to see, at the 10th fret was the name "OLGA", my new mistress! My B.W. nearly collapsed on the floor, laughing.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: Acorn4
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 03:23 PM

Julia's mandola is male and is called Nelson. Gerrit?

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: GUEST,nickp cookieless
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 03:15 PM

The only one of my instruments that has gained anything like gender is my favourite mandolin (custom made) which is referred to as 'my baby'. But that is as in the child sense rather than (female) partner.

Nick

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: ClaireBear
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 02:20 PM

My single-O Washburn guitar is Arabella (female).

My harp is Aengus (male).

It's never occurred to me to name any of my dulcimers or concertinas, somehow.

The tenor uke hasn't spoken its name to me yet, but I suspect it has one.

C

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 02:09 PM

My 12 string guitar is "Uncle Curt". I didn't name it, Nick Apollonio the luthier did.

The Taylor, I don't know, but it must be female. Considering its shape and all, and how close I hold it.

The banjo is on permanent loan, so it's anyones guess.

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 01:35 PM

arrghhh! blast! That's what I get for doing this without my specs.

Now I forgot what I was going to say before I hit the submit button.

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 01:33 PM

RB - so do you classify your cars in same category as your instrument(s)?

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: open mike
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 01:18 PM

my martin is (also) named Martina
and my nyckelharpa is Matilda..
named after my swedish grandma.

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 01:09 PM

Well Growler always refers to my Mugen 6-string as my "Old Man", and I was only responding to Tamara's repeated use of female pronouns for the Sigma DM4.

I've mostly referred to my cars as female, apart from one twin-cam FIAT that on good days was "the Flying Brick" (it was before I had my Damascine moment discovering Volvos) and on bad days was "The Turin Shroud". My 95mph Morris Minor Traveller was always "Queen Bitch" after a long drawn out battle with a pair of elusive faults that turned out to be (1) a poor earth and capacitor in the distributor causing overheating of the points contacts and spring that melted the plastic cam plus (2) localised overheating of the coil due to a loss of oil in the coil.

The Morris before that was named "Arkle" because the registration number started "AKL" and I tended to get it about fence-high over humpbacked bridges, and of course the missing horse was big news back then. Come to think of it, was that horse a mare or a stallion? I have a feeling it was a stallion.

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: PoppaGator
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 01:03 PM

I've never thought of my guitar as either male or female. As someone has already suggested, music ideally transcends gender ~ right?

I don't indulge in instrument naming, either. Doesn't mean I don't treasure my guitar, just because I don't anthropomorphize it.

When my brother visited recently, he surprised me by saying, "Hey! Marty's here!" ~ referring to my Martin in its stand in the corner of the living room. (I used to keep it in its case, less visible and less accessible.) It took me a second or two to realize what he was talking about.

I suppose that the name "Marty" is usually male, although some women use it as a nickname/short-form of Martina, Martha, etc.

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 12:49 PM

Melodeonboy - I am not rising to your comments. I haven't the proper equipment.

Mr. Red - Perhaps your bodhrans are blushing. Maybe too shy to procreate.

theleveller - could be hermaphrodites.

Bee-dubya-ell - Why am I not convinced?

peregrina - Might be a clue in the name.
MAN (masculine noun)
DO(verb)
LYN(femine name)

IanC - so are church bells part of your battery of instruments?


I should have added link to thread that prompted this thread. References to gender of new guitar started by Richard Bridge.

Subject: RE: Another pleading guitar thread
From: Richard Bridge - PM
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 05:24 AM

It looked like a boy guitar to me...

Another pleading guitar thread

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: bubblyrat
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 12:03 PM

My main guitar is called "Ava" (partly because I play her "My Way"---think about it !!) but perhaps because she's an Avalon. Then no.2 is called "Martina" ( she is good-looking ,but not what she seems !)and is,of course,a Martin.My bouzouki is called "Boozy" ( after me),whilst my harmonicas are all called "Lewinsky", as there is both Blowing and Sucking involved.My 12-string is called "Greg" , as he designed it,and it says so on the headstock.
                I did own an Aria once, and I called it "Your Tiny Hand is Frozen" , but nobody got it. Sadly.

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: GUEST,Jonny Sunshine
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 11:25 AM

Funny this discussion comes up today, as I named my new bouzouki last night. Not all of my instruments get given names- my banjo's name is the name of the maker (or restorer, I'm not sure which) that's stamped on the neck, while my electric guitar and a couple of knockabout guitars are just referred to by their brand names. If I had to decide whether they were male or female I'd probably say male, but those of my instruments that I've given names to (two guitars, a mandolin and the new bouzouki) have female names.

My instruments' names tend to be a secret revealed to very few, because part of me feels that giving a name is symbolic of the deepest spiritual bond between player and instrument, while the other part feels silly giving a name to an inanimate object.



hence my keeping them secret.

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 11:14 AM

I assume all musical instruments to be "pansexual," in that they can affect, entertain or offend persons of all persuasions without regard to race, creed, religion or color. In short....oops, sorry about the pun...

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: Zen
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 11:09 AM

My instrument is male.

My guitar and mandolin are both female.

Zen

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: IanC
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 11:08 AM

Apart from church bells (which are officially female) I've never particularly thought of any of my instruments as having a gender.

:-)

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 11:03 AM

My wife refers to my guitars in female terms ("Bruce's girlfriends", "Bruce's harem" etc.) but I don't think of them in that way. We're just friends. Honest.

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: peregrina
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 11:03 AM

My two guitars have names based on their characteristics and puns from well-known songs; in each case the apt name gave rise to the gender, rather than the reverse. So one is male, one female.

The mandolins, as yet, have no names or genders. (And neither will be named 'Amandalynne' as a poster at another site suggested!)

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: theleveller
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 10:59 AM

I've been trying to sex my guitar and cittern but, having found no evidence of genitalia, they are both 'its'.

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: Hamish
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 10:53 AM

I have a Myrtle guitar. So she's a she. And an Ellastone. Ella Stone's also a girl.

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: melodeonboy
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 10:37 AM

Perhaps they're using the rhythm method!

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: GUEST,Mr Red
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 10:34 AM

I have a pair of bodhrans and they haven't pro-created yet - so I can't really tell.

Subject: RE: What gender is your instrument?
From: melodeonboy
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 10:32 AM

My guitar and my melodeon are reliable and consistent. They require little attention or money.

My cajun accordion, however, is high maintenance and requires constant attention and money. It also groans and squeaks quite a bit.

What do you reckon? (tee-hee!)

Having said that, my ex-wife always referred to my melodeon as my first wife, so perhaps it is female after all!

(I think VT's going to box my ears!)

Subject: What gender is your instrument?
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 09:57 AM

After discussing in another Pleading Guitar thread. I am curious.

My dulcimer and every guitar I have every played I have always referred to as female. The recorders, harmonicas, pianos I played were never sexed.

Does anyone else genderise their instruments?

Discuss!