Worst things seen in a Folk Club

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: HouseCat
Date: 10 May 07 - 06:05 PM

A show that featured a friend who was meant to be playing solo when a guitar player who was a friend of a friend asked if she'd like a side man and she was too nice to say no. She'll never be that nice again. Not only did he not know any of her material, he played horribly and very loudly, and when his cell phone rang in the middle of a very passionate and moving song...HE ANSWERED IT, onstage, and proceeded to carry on a conversation.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: GUEST,SonOfShlomo
Date: 10 May 07 - 10:39 AM

Don T.,

The place eventually did go under; the story of our being ripped off by the owners has remained a concert favorite.

To comment further:

I think the WORST thing to have happen is people in the crowd who have come to eat or drink and then realize it's music night or what-have-you, ONLY TO CONTINUE talking, eating, drinking and whatnot as though there is nothing else going on.

Makes me want to ask them if I can have a photo with them; that way I can show my friends the pic from the time I visited the known center of the whole F-ing universe!

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: guitar
Date: 10 May 07 - 05:26 AM

PS.

and some of the acts that they get are shit but that's my opinion.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: guitar
Date: 10 May 07 - 05:25 AM

people with their mobile phones switched on and it goes off during a perfomance and people talking, they do it at the Irvine folk club.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Tim theTwangler
Date: 10 May 07 - 04:28 AM

Dunno if it is the chocs or the wine that leads to the performers slobbering.
Next time we come over will fetch jumbo crisp selection to put in the raffle.
Not enough for everyone in the audience obviously there are far too many bums on seats for that.
Its a good job there isnt a bar when you think about it,
Buying a house round in there would be very costly.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: breezy
Date: 09 May 07 - 04:42 PM

a. Confiscate the chocs and dip the crisps in beer, never fails,

b. eat the chocs and crisps

c. do the passing around yourself, keep your favourites for later on when you need a choc fix,

d. throw them in a scattering motion at the audience.


Its the same as when someone wants to collect glasses

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Rasener
Date: 09 May 07 - 12:45 AM

OOPs better stop the choccies in the raffle Sooz & Tom.

or maybe, I could tell the winner not to pass the choccies around as the performer is slobbering whilst trying to sing :-)

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 08 May 07 - 07:05 PM

Several of us were in Washington, DC, for a conference a few years back, celebrating St. Patrick's Day in a local O'Something or Other saloon near our hotel. The fellow performing on stage, who had a terrible Irish accent on some Clancy Brothers material, had a big cell phone on his belt, which he kept picking up and examining between songs. Finally, someone asked why he was so preoccupied with the damned phone. "My wife's expecting and I have to be ready to go to the hospital when she calls." This was at 11:30 at night and it was very drunk in the joint by this time. Not more than 15 minutes later, he got the call. He was stowing his guitar when someone yelled out, "Who's the lucky guy?"

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: WFDU - Ron Olesko
Date: 08 May 07 - 02:31 PM

Many years ago, I was sitting at a front table in a local NYC club. The artist, a VERY well known folk singer, was introduced by one of the locals. This emcee was obviously drunk and staggered to the stage to make the introduction. Someone in the audience shouted something out, and the drunk emcee glared at ME and started cursing me out. The people around me realized that I did not shout out and began laughing at the emcee - which pissed him off even further. The owner of the club motioned for the emcee to get off the stage - which he did, after mumbling a quick introduction about the singer. As you can imagine, the singer was rather uncomfortable and did not seem to know what to do. A memorable evening.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Tim theTwangler
Date: 08 May 07 - 02:13 PM

Quality street?
Only have Thorntons at Faldinworth live
where have you been slumming Sooz?
How about its your first proper slot at a folk club and You notice after you start that the people ion the middle of the front row have a bag marked squishy tomatoes and another marked chocolate with which they threaten to pelt you?
Thanks guys

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Sooz
Date: 08 May 07 - 12:36 PM

Been there with the chocolates in the raffle thing, Tom! I can assure you that its worse if they are Quality Street with crinkly wrappings.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 08 May 07 - 10:41 AM

"From: GUEST,SonOfShlomo - PM
Date: 07 May 07 - 09:57 PM
How about a group being asked to play for X number of hours and X pay, then being told (after they played for AN EXTRA HOUR at the crowd's request):
"Sorry we didn't make enough money to pay you all tonight; have a Coke on us from the cooler on the way out."

Utterly indefensible, but ultimately impossible to deal with, except perhaps by advertising their activities as widely as possible.

This should prevent other performers being caught out, and, with luck starve the venue of entertainment and put it out of business, a well deserved outcome.

Don T.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 08 May 07 - 07:40 AM

Dug 2 - walk!
Splott Man - you asked for that! Lucky you did not get a lineup impersonating the Vernons Girls with crisp-bags! Grin!

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Splott Man
Date: 08 May 07 - 07:37 AM

Oops, it's happened to me now!
What i meant was...

I once told a crisp eater to keep in time with the song, which only inspired others to join in. I ended up with a whole crispy rhythm section.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Splott Man
Date: 08 May 07 - 07:35 AM

Tell the crisp eaters

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Dug2
Date: 08 May 07 - 07:11 AM

What about when you're one of the headline acts and you're told you still have to pay on the door like everyone else?

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 08 May 07 - 07:10 AM

If a song session counts as a club for this purpose, the oik who came into John Barden's session at Sweeps on Sunday, yelled at friends so loudly we could not hear ourselves sing, and when John stopped the session and said we'd listen to the oik until it was someone else's turn, proceeded to tell us loudly punctuated with expletives how boring it was he'd been to millions of sessions and people were always aloud to talk and how it was true what everyone was saying (which cast some light on the diiddly and humpty sessioneers in the pub garden were saying) what a boring bunch of fuckers we were with our sitting and listening and taking turns.

The landlady threw him out. Thanks Karen

John actually runs a very good mixed session.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: GUEST,Tom Bliss
Date: 08 May 07 - 06:55 AM

Indeed - and if anyone can give me suitable 'advice' for crisp-eaters, that does the job without offence*, I'll buy em a pint! (The other one is when the raffle includes a box of chox - which are then passed round. You find yourself wondering if someone in the front row is about to offer you one mid-song)!

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Surreysinger
Date: 08 May 07 - 06:48 AM

Tom - that sounds absolutely mesmeric, "rabbit caught in headlights" sort of stuff. The type of thing which, once you've noticed it, you just can't stop looking...and I think what highlights the horror for me is the description of the table being more than grubby - flesh creepingly awful!! But at least cheese cubes don't make the sort of noise that crisps do!

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 May 07 - 06:44 AM

Someone I know brought a 12 string to a club and was told to only tune the 3 she played as it saved time....

Rude, crass, ignorant, yes.... but sadly, true.

LTS

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: sapper82
Date: 08 May 07 - 06:12 AM

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Ref - PM
Date: 02 May 07 - 05:35 PM

"The cute little girl who shows up with a twelve string guitar she can't play to perform a song she can't sing, while her dad gets the whole thing on his video-cam."

You missed out "..... twelve string guitar she can't play, that is not in tune, she tries to tune and fails.........

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: GUEST,Tom Bliss
Date: 08 May 07 - 05:01 AM

err I don't know what happened to my post above...

I was recalling the time a large lady came in late, sat at a table at the side, then proceeded to arrange a row of cheese cubes, very neatly, right along the edge of the table, which was more than grubby. She then devoured them, in turn, very very very slowly.

(But I didn't let it affect my performance - much)!

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Bugsy
Date: 08 May 07 - 02:10 AM

Is it a sign of the times that this thread continues merrily along it's way whilst the other thread "Best things seen in a Folk Club" seems to have died the death.

CHeers


Bugsy

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 08 May 07 - 12:28 AM

One night in Chicago, at the folk club/bar then called the Quiet Knight, I saw a rather drunk film critic dancing on a table. That's not too bad in itself, but he dropped his pants. No underwear added to the whole gestalt.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Tim theTwangler
Date: 07 May 07 - 10:50 PM

Actually I just got back from a Folk club.
I was really annoyed because some bloke spent the entire evening staring at a girl in the audience.
She looked embarrassed and he was practically drooling.
I dont know why in this day and age men think they have the right to treat females in this way.
I hope he reads this and gets a grip on himself!
Eeeeerr but maybe not while still in the folk club eh?

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: GUEST,SonOfShlomo
Date: 07 May 07 - 09:57 PM

How about a group being asked to play for X number of hours and X pay, then being told (after they played for AN EXTRA HOUR at the crowd's request):

"Sorry we didn't make enough money to pay you all tonight; have a Coke on us from the cooler on the way out."

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Scoville
Date: 07 May 07 - 02:46 PM

I went out to a bar one night that was hosting a long evening--four performers. The first was local [Houston], the second from Austin, the third from Louisiana, and the last again from Austin. Performers 1, 2, and 4 were repeat acts; performers 3 were new to the place but were a good band (I'd seen them before somewhere else).

Act 3 had been left off of the posters and website advertisements, and the announcer that evening, whom I suspect was drunk in addition to being ignorant, introduced them as "some guys I never heard; I think they're like zydeco or something". They were Cajun, but in this part of the country it makes a difference. As it turned out, they were the best act of the night but were treated pretty crappily by the venue.

They did come back a few months later, though, to a better reception, so I guess the place redeemed itself.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: GUEST,Tom Bliss
Date: 07 May 07 - 01:59 PM

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 07 May 07 - 01:44 PM

Crisps?

There's an extremely well-known US musician resident for many years in London who regularly turns up at a place I often frequent and does floor spots.
Only trouble is that he brings sandwiches wrapped in crinkly paper and munches them throughout the other acts.
The organiser ain't amused but I think it's priceless.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: COINWOLF
Date: 07 May 07 - 01:38 PM

Worst thing is knowing that someone is about to open a bag of crisps.

Crisps should be banned from all folk clubs and festivals.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 07 May 07 - 10:13 AM

Once upon a time, a drummer!! took so long with a sound check, then drivelled for an equal length of time (this tune was inspired by blah, blah, blah ...), that I couldn't cope with the drivel & noise, & so missed my friend who was next.

How can the noise of a drum remind someone of a beautiful sunset or whatever it was?

sandra

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Tim theTwangler
Date: 07 May 07 - 08:25 AM

#!The one where someone is persuaded to sing when not on the list,then taking ages to introduce the song is familiar.
How about the mc/resident sets up a video camera then nicks the time he wastes mucking about with it from the two acts either side of him in the list?
How about the famous have I got time for one more?
The guy already used up all his half hour by doing four songs and the interminable pre song talk for each.
Then after being allowed the extra one takes five minutes talking and retuning before even attempting to start playing!

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Graham and Jo
Date: 07 May 07 - 07:17 AM

Room full of musicians and singers but always the same residents doing the same floor spots.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: GUEST
Date: 05 May 07 - 09:54 PM

SLOW MOTION......A yellow/blue tinged cue-ball busting loose the fresh-white teeth of an under 20 Missus....as she raised her head behind an overturned billards-table in a beer hall, during a bar fight.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: frogprince
Date: 05 May 07 - 10:53 AM

In a little-bitty Chicago coffeehouse, on open mike night: a shaggy kid gets to the performer's stool, introduces himself as "Rocky the Flying Squirrel", and just then whatever he has been smoking or taking catches up with him and he totally morphs into a store manniquin; after a few minutes someone steered him offstage.
One other moment there wasn't really funny; one regular, whom we could well have done without, came up to me while I was washing coffee cups, to caution me that if we had any black customers, I needed to wash the cups extra carefully, so that no one would catch sickle-cell anemia from them. He was a big, stupid, belligerant thug, who somehow had gotten a college degree. I told him sickle-cell anemia isn't contagious. He "proved" his point be glaring and saying "Yes, it is".

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Bugsy
Date: 05 May 07 - 05:26 AM

A guy singing (very badly) "The Wreck Of The Edmond Fitzgerald", making a mistake on the second last line of the penultimate verse, apologising and starting ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!

Sheer torture!


CHeers

Bugsy

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Flash Company
Date: 04 May 07 - 09:50 AM

Probably the worst I remember was a well known folkie allowing our organiser to 'persuade' him to sing 'Oh, alright, I'll just do the one!', Then doing a twenty minute introduction to the 'one song' he sang.

FC

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Rasener
Date: 04 May 07 - 07:51 AM

LOL that was a balls up then :-)

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: GUEST
Date: 04 May 07 - 07:51 AM

a 14 verse bob dylan ballad performed by a dude with one bollock hanging out of his shorts. still having flashbacks :( !!!

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: stallion
Date: 04 May 07 - 06:25 AM

reading captain birdseye post I think is what makes the nitty gritty of "folk clubs" work, I am all for people picking up an instrument or voice and doing their party piece, however tortuous on the ear, so long as they don't think they are "God's gift to music", I am all for inclusivity my two beefs are people who think they are too good to be in with the hoi poloi and people who think they are too good to be in with the hoi poloi and are not. Having said all that, yes, I do cringe sometimes but I eat sprouts at christmas dinner cos its part of the package (bad form to refuse)

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: GUEST,Peter Stockport
Date: 03 May 07 - 09:08 AM

Ynot,
It's too easy to criticise organisers and performers. Perhaps you should have started the thread differently. Or, named it differently.
Club organisers don't half get a lot of stick, no point in encouraging it even more. Even if it was meant as a joke.
But then you know all that since you're involved yourself.

Peter-Who gets his fair share of the stick and does enjoy a laugh.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 May 07 - 08:33 AM

I tell a lie, they weren't introduced as Les Barker, they were introduced as the Kippers!

Which was even worse as the Kippers parody the very songs that particular group performed!

LTS

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Y_Not
Date: 03 May 07 - 07:12 AM

Peter!
Your assumptions and guessing are wrong.
Arthur runs a fine club in Bollington.
The Armoury is also run well, and as you say the singers carry on the night as a sing-a-round after the main guest has finished their last spot and that's great, which is not the same as the Resident singer or band getting up and finishing the night.
There was a club where after the main guest had finished, the guest, the resident and anyone that had sung that night would finish with a rousing song, which I thought was a great way to finish the night.
I have always had a fond admiration for the people that week in and week out, organise and run their club, but with all good intentions sometimes things go wrong, and this thread was not intended to be negative, it was meant to have a light hearted look at things that may have gone wrong and Laugh! (Folk are Human).
Now there is an alternative "POSITIVE" spin off thread "The best things seen in a Folk Club", which has been reduced to a bitter squabbling.
Funny????    It makes me p.ss.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: The Sandman
Date: 03 May 07 - 06:37 AM

a floorsinger playing a recorder who had no sense of rhythym.
a resident singer who managed to sing perfectly in tune with herself but a quarter tone out with her guitar.
A Folk Comedian who tried to humiliate amember of the audience[ a small boy].this was Towersey festival and the performer got booed off.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 May 07 - 04:29 AM

Having your over-enthusiastic and slightly rat-arsed MC trying to impress a girl, introduce a very conservative, traditional act (who admittedly weren't the most popular guest we'd booked) as Les Barker. Hard to tell who was most upset.

LTS

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Kevin Sheils
Date: 03 May 07 - 04:20 AM

It all turned on what a "sleeve job" was, and we never did find out.

Is that the one that starts "Roll up, Roll up"?

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 03 May 07 - 02:36 AM

A very long and wholly rambling story about a long and rambling story by Bert Lloyd. It all turned on what a "sleeve job" was, and we never did find out.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Rasener
Date: 03 May 07 - 01:49 AM

Quote from Poppagator
Instead of a number of songs, performers should be allotted a number of MINUTES. Then it's up to the performer to decide whether to do a lot of short numbers or a few long ones.
End of quote

Thats what I do at my club. Wouldn't have it any other way. Its up to the performer to decide what they are going to do in that allotted time - talk, tell jokes, sing etc.

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 02 May 07 - 10:16 PM

I tell floor spots 2 songs, about 10 minutes. One of my predecessors used to say 2 songs, & a regular was always threatening that one of his 2 songs would be a 78 verse ballad ...

Subject: RE: Worst things seen in a Folk Club
From: stallion
Date: 02 May 07 - 06:51 PM

oops I did that once, after the first song the organiser held up two fingers, I thought for a second, was it, that's your lot or two more, I did two more and then was told after that I should have done two songs. Anyway how was I to know nobody actually said anything and everyone else had done three and I had never been there before. I/we prefer to know how many minutes, then cloth can be cut accordingly